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Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

RowboatMan: Freezing time is an old P.I. trick...


Novo posted:

I never watched their show but I would watch one about them fading into obscurity, if such a thing were possible

In this specific case, observation of the phenomenon changes the outcome.

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Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



Rupert Buttermilk posted:

In this specific case, observation of the phenomenon changes the outcome.
In a more just world:
TLC: We'll follow you around but we're not going to give you any money at you can spread your world while struggling financially, emotionally, and logistically with the stupid decision to have 19 kids that have no education or skills at all.

See if they agree to that. Of course the most just thing of all would for these awful people not exist period, but you can't have it all.

Fart.Bleed.Repeat.
Sep 29, 2001



The Bible posted:

I guess I just assumed she was prayed into midwifery. I'm surprised there is even the slightest degree of authenticity to it.

Yeah certified midwifes go through most all fo the same training as the nurses in Maternity. They probably change some of the study to skip over hospital based stuff but also pick up more study in dealing with unexpected

Not sure that applies to newage-y church based midwifery, that's gotta be more like PUSH OUT THAT DEVIL BABY AND KEEP YOUR COOTER COVERED MARY LOU. YOU WILL DEAL WITH THE PAIN, YOU HARLOT

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

RowboatMan: Freezing time is an old P.I. trick...


In related news, Call the Midwife is a good show and I don't care who knows it

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



I'm sure there was some curriculum, but since it was probably vetted by Jim Bob I wouldn't put much trust in it. Rim Job probably disappeared into the bathroom with her study handouts for a while.

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

Pvt.Scott posted:

Still waiting for the gay shoe to drop.

nike!

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Novo posted:

I never watched their show but I would watch one about them fading into obscurity, if such a thing were possible

I thought that's what this thread was for????

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014



Rupert Buttermilk posted:

"Oh no, we have to stop the hoo-ha bleeding!"

I think we established from the police reports at the start of the thread it's called a peepee holder or something else open to misinterpretation, it's not like they'd be allowed to have sex ed so it probably never gets another name.

red19fire
May 26, 2010



Casimir Radon posted:

One of the daughters scammed people into giving her and her dipshit husband tons of money to harass Catholics spread the word in El Salvador. Except they've done pretty much nothing except take Spanish lessons, which seems like something they maybe should have done beforehand, and jetset around whenever they feel like it. They spent so long in front of tv cameras that they just can't grasp that people in the rest of the world actually have jobs and have to do something with their life. TLC subsidized their stupid family for so long that they have no concept of what real life is like.

This is kind of my favorite part of the Duggars, they basically just said, 'welp we're in some South American country (coincidentally with picturesque beaches & resorts) and we're praying so please give us more free money' and they cannot believe that 1. People are calling them out for being phonies and 2. Missionary work actually involves work.

Casimir Radon posted:

In a more just world:
TLC: We'll follow you around but we're not going to give you any money at you can spread your world while struggling financially, emotionally, and logistically with the stupid decision to have 19 kids that have no education or skills at all.

See if they agree to that. Of course the most just thing of all would for these awful people not exist period, but you can't have it all.

Yeah, this would be the better show, shooting them like an indigenous tribe in the jungle, no money just purely documenting this insane subculture of uneducated grifters.

Ronwayne
Nov 20, 2007

That warm and fuzzy feeling.


Casimir Radon posted:

In a more just world:
TLC: We'll follow you around but we're not going to give you any money at you can spread your world while struggling financially, emotionally, and logistically with the stupid decision to have 19 kids that have no education or skills at all.

See if they agree to that. Of course the most just thing of all would for these awful people not exist period, but you can't have it all.

So like the honkey version of that starving afican kid with the vulture leering at him?

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



red19fire posted:

This is kind of my favorite part of the Duggars, they basically just said, 'welp we're in some South American country (coincidentally with picturesque beaches & resorts) and we're praying so please give us more free money' and they cannot believe that 1. People are calling them out for being phonies and 2. Missionary work actually involves work.


Yeah, this would be the better show, shooting them like an indigenous tribe in the jungle, no money just purely documenting this insane subculture of uneducated grifters.

Ronwayne posted:

So like the honkey version of that starving afican kid with the vulture leering at him?
One of the sons is able to pursue flying as a hobby with an expensive Cirrus plane. That's something that's so far out of the reach of most people with good degrees who work 40 or more hours it's not even funny. That's an excellent illustration of how objectivity has been lost here. If you want to tell the story of a couple of bumpkins who have 19 kids you really shouldn't ignore the financial, emotion, and logistical toll this choice takes on everyone in the family. But TLC went above and beyond ignoring it and made them millionaires.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

Don't get my name wrong,
If you want to touch me there.

Casimir Radon posted:

One of the sons is able to pursue flying as a hobby with an expensive Cirrus plane. That's something that's so far out of the reach of most people with good degrees who work 40 or more hours it's not even funny. That's an excellent illustration of how objectivity has been lost here. If you want to tell the story of a couple of bumpkins who have 19 kids you really shouldn't ignore the financial, emotion, and logistical toll this choice takes on everyone in the family. But TLC went above and beyond ignoring it and made them millionaires.

It's not a hobby though, as fair as I know. Isn't he the families official pilot. As in gets paid a wage from the 'church' coffers and everything.

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



BrigadierSensible posted:

It's not a hobby though, as fair as I know. Isn't he the families official pilot. As in gets paid a wage from the 'church' coffers and everything.
I'm sure for legal reasons yes. They can bullshit all they want but the SR22 only seats 5, less than a quarter of the immediate clan. If they hadn't been receiving Wingnut Welfare they'd be struggling to afford to ride in coach with the rest of us.

Casimir Radon fucked around with this message at 07:04 on Oct 1, 2015

Ronwayne
Nov 20, 2007

That warm and fuzzy feeling.


Casimir Radon posted:

Wingnut Welfare

Isn't that what that kentucky clerk who refused to issue gay marriage licenses is counting on?

SteveVizsla
Mar 18, 2009

Why do I always want to sock it to you so hard?


Ronwayne posted:

Isn't that what that kentucky clerk who refused to issue gay marriage licenses is counting on?

She's got better than that now, the pope met with her and told her what a great person she is.

shadowvine118
Sep 3, 2011


Fart.Bleed.Repeat. posted:

Yeah certified midwifes go through most all fo the same training as the nurses in Maternity. They probably change some of the study to skip over hospital based stuff but also pick up more study in dealing with unexpected

Not sure that applies to newage-y church based midwifery, that's gotta be more like PUSH OUT THAT DEVIL BABY AND KEEP YOUR COOTER COVERED MARY LOU. YOU WILL DEAL WITH THE PAIN, YOU HARLOT

She didn't train to be a midwife, though, she trained to be a doula. I doubt her parents would let her do the things necessary to be an actual midwife (such as take actual classes at an actual school with people not related to her.)

shadowvine118 fucked around with this message at 09:17 on Oct 1, 2015

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.


Someone tell jillard he spelled midwife wrong then.

The Bible
May 8, 2010



shadowvine118 posted:

She didn't train to be a midwife, though, she trained to be a doula. I doubt her parents would let her do the things necessary to be an actual midwife (such as take actual classes at an actual school with people not related to her.)

quote:

There is a lack of standardization and oversight of doulas, with multiple organizations providing different courses with varying requirements. There is no formal or universally recognized certification process or training requirements, and anyone can refer to themselves as a doula.[16] No academic credentials such as a college or university diploma, or high school equivalency are required.

Just as I thought; it's some bullshit "alternative" that can be rushed through with little study or effort, just like Josh's fake therapy and the idea for the sex abuse counseling show.

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




If Pregnant was not at fault

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014




Ramrod XTreme

the jim bobs deeper and deeper

No. 6
Jun 30, 2002



Fallen Rib

I only cum in men's asses to avoid the problem of 19 children.

Princess RALPH!!
Apr 28, 2009


According to the posted article Jill Duggar is a CPM (fake crazy people midwife) or Certified Professional Midwife. Which apparently you can attain by

AMY TUTEUR, MD posted:

"You could simply take a correspondence course, attend a few dozen deliveries outside the hospital, pay money for an exam and voila: you are a CPM. Actually, you don’t even have to complete even those minimal requirements. You can simply submit a “portfolio” of births that you have attended, pay the money and take the exam, and voila, you too are a CPM."

She technically is a midwife because according to this article written by a pissed of actual doctor, the US actually allows these people to class themselves as midwives. Though not as CNM (aka real midwives). All she would have to do is be in the room as her mom popped out half of her brood, take one test and she's in like sin Josh Duggar.

Buffer Overflow
Sep 3, 2006
Interweb Addict

Princess RALPH!! posted:

According to the posted article Jill Duggar is a CPM (fake crazy people midwife) or Certified Professional Midwife. Which apparently you can attain by


She technically is a midwife because according to this article written by a pissed of actual doctor, the US actually allows these people to class themselves as midwives. Though not as CNM (aka real midwives). All she would have to do is be in the room as her mom popped out half of her brood, take one test and she's in like sin Josh Duggar.

Being a midwife is probably one of the few job skills that a Duggar female would pick up.

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



All the beds in the Duggar house probably have stirrups.

Princess RALPH!!
Apr 28, 2009


Buffer Overflow posted:

Being a midwife is probably one of the few job skills that a Duggar female would pick up.

Except actual midwives have to go to a university and get a medical degree which involves seeing other peoples hoo hoo's and pee pee holders. It's not a skill if something difficult happens and they haven't the foggiest of what to do because they have no medical training. They're more like baby cannon cheerleaders.

Buffer Overflow
Sep 3, 2006
Interweb Addict

Princess RALPH!! posted:

Except actual midwives have to go to a university and get a medical degree which involves seeing other peoples hoo hoo's and pee pee holders. It's not a skill if something difficult happens and they haven't the foggiest of what to do because they have no medical training. They're more like baby cannon cheerleaders.

Well yeah, sure, they aren't going to college or you know, read but it sounds like they would have more hands on experience attending live births than most of the other people getting the fake midwife credential. I imagine the main issue would be them continually trying to cover the doctors eyes and yelling "Nike" if the ob/gyn happened to be a man.

I'm trying to look on the bright side here. The alternative is to assume that any Duggar that got separated from the swarm would just around and starve to death waiting for a TLC producer regurgitate into their mouth.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.


Lol if you think they'd have both a fake midwife and an obgyn. If anything goes wrong medically those babies are dead.

PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL



Casimir Radon posted:

All the beds in the Duggar house probably have stirrups.

Yeah, but those are for Josh though, can't have the harlots getting away with sin and no punishment.

Mad Doctor Cthulhu
Mar 3, 2008

PH.D IN DARKNESS, M.A. IN MADNESS, B.A. IN TERROR (with a minor in Women's Studies)

Buffer Overflow posted:

Well yeah, sure, they aren't going to college or you know, read but it sounds like they would have more hands on experience attending live births than most of the other people getting the fake midwife credential. I imagine the main issue would be them continually trying to cover the doctors eyes and yelling "Nike" if the ob/gyn happened to be a man.

I'm trying to look on the bright side here. The alternative is to assume that any Duggar that got separated from the swarm would just around and starve to death waiting for a TLC producer regurgitate into their mouth.

I'm just imagining Duggars wondering into the road and getting flattened by a semi, only to be surrounded by other Duggars walking in tiny circles, waving their hands, and squeaking 'JESUS JESUS' before a car hits another.

This would be the best show ever.

Julet Esqu
May 6, 2007

In the end, they just sulk.



So that one Duggar daughter had a pretty rough time birthing Baby Israel. What was it, 18 hours of labor before they finally decided to throw in the towel and actually go to a goddamn hospital? I can't help but wonder if that would have gone differently if they'd had a qualified midwife in the house.

Max Hammer
Jan 3, 2008

ANTIFREEZE!!!


Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:

I'm just imagining Duggars wondering into the road and getting flattened by a semi, only to be surrounded by other Duggars walking in tiny circles, waving their hands, and squeaking 'JESUS JESUS' before a car hits another.

This would be the best show ever.

I would watch the poo poo out of this TLC special.

Edit: As a way to get this ball rolling, they could throw some fattening midwest food in the middle of a busy highway and some sweet sweet TLC dollars and watch Jahm Berb send his crotch spawn one by one to try and retrieve said fatty food/dollars.

And throw a few underaged girls/strippers/married women looking for the cuck in the street too. That should lure Josh in.

Max Hammer fucked around with this message at 16:50 on Oct 2, 2015

Solar Coaster
Sep 2, 2009


Mad Doctor Cthulhu posted:

I'm just imagining Duggars wondering into the road and getting flattened by a semi, only to be surrounded by other Duggars walking in tiny circles, waving their hands, and squeaking 'JESUS JESUS' before a car hits another.

This would be the best show ever.

I would imagine it would be something like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkE1WDGup_s






Jim Bob

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005



No. 6 posted:

I only cum in men's asses to avoid the problem of 19 children.

call me

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005



Max Hammer posted:

Edit: As a way to get this ball rolling, they could throw some fattening midwest food in the middle of a busy highway and some sweet sweet TLC dollars and watch Jahm Berb send his crotch spawn one by one to try and retrieve said fatty food/dollars.

lol what was that slop the mom bragged about making? it was like an industrial kitchen sized can of chile + a family bag of fritos

Max Hammer
Jan 3, 2008

ANTIFREEZE!!!


cumshitter posted:

lol what was that slop the mom bragged about making? it was like an industrial kitchen sized can of chile + a family bag of fritos

Sorry, I have literally never watched a single second of the show, so I don't know. I do remember someone earlier in the thread talking about some cheesy tater tot casserole or something though.

P.S. - I live in the midwest (Chicago) and people definitely make that kind of disgusting poo poo here.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS

WHY BE A FATCAT WHEN YOU CAN BE A SMOKERAT?

COOL ZONE HERO, ASK ME ABOUT MY LIVESTREAMS




cumshitter posted:

lol what was that slop the mom bragged about making? it was like an industrial kitchen sized can of chile + a family bag of fritos

yeah they've probably done that

their big claim to fame recipe though is tator tot casserole, which is plain cooked ground beef (definitely from a giant chub lol) mixed with canned cream of whatever soup, topped with frozen tator tots and baked. MMMMMM delicioso!

A MIRACLE
Sep 17, 2007

All right. It's Saturday night; I have no date, a two-liter bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix-tape... Let's rock.



if you add texas pete's to that i'd probably eat it

Kinetica
Aug 16, 2011


A MIRACLE posted:

if you add texas pete's to that i'd probably eat it

maybe if I was drunk as hell, hadn't eaten in days,'and there was no food left in the house

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

a cat




Eh, whatever the need to do to keep from becoming fat. They'd be even worse if they were all butterballs.

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Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

fast n furious foodstuff



Crusty Nutsack posted:

yeah they've probably done that

their big claim to fame recipe though is tator tot casserole, which is plain cooked ground beef (definitely from a giant chub lol) mixed with canned cream of whatever soup, topped with frozen tator tots and baked. MMMMMM delicioso!

this sounds like great hangover food though?

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