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Vacation Tenzin
Jan 23, 2005

I'M TOTALLY CALM AND RELAXED.


What's the over/under on Josh Duggar choking a hooker to death during rough sex? I'd put it at 6 months and choose under. I guess it depends on how long they hold him adult captive at Give Your Penis to Jesus Camp.

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Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

RowboatMan: Freezing time is an old P.I. trick...


Vacation Tenzin posted:

What's the over/under on Josh Duggar choking a hooker to death during rough sex? I'd put it at 6 months and choose under. I guess it depends on how long they hold him adult captive at Give Your Penis to Jesus Camp.

In a bizarre twist, Josh can only get off when the hooker is confined to a small area of the hotel room floor, covered by a blanket.

Phobic Nest
Oct 2, 2013

You Are My Sunshine


Rupert Buttermilk posted:

In a bizarre twist, Josh can only get off when the hooker is confined to a small area of the hotel room floor, covered by a blanket.

That's why I keep coming back to this thread, the dark humor. It's always like,

ha ha oh

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

RowboatMan: Freezing time is an old P.I. trick...


Phobic Nest posted:

That's why I keep coming back to this thread, the dark humor. It's always like,

ha ha oh

See, I really didn't like Michelle and Jim Bob before, but now that I know about that blanket training poo poo, I think I genuinely hate them.

I yearn for more hosed up news about this hosed up couple/family I sincerely hope that the kids make it out ok, but I don't think that's a real possibility, which is a shame. Children are innocent, and these two hillybilly fucktards are ruining each one of them. That obviously gay kid is going to hate life, and that's not fair.

Regalingualius
Jan 6, 2012


Yeah, I think I first heard of them a few years ago in an Anthropology course at my first college. Even just the general description (family of ultraconservatives that see it as their God-given mission to have as many kids as possible) set off some serious alarm bells in my head at the time. Seeing those concerns pan out like this is some vicious schadenfreude, to put it mildly.

red19fire
May 26, 2010



KiteAuraan posted:

Like that gringo would even know what a real enchilada is supposed to taste like.

I'm sure in their weird culture 'spice on food' is Literally Consorting With The Devil. So its probably a hot dog rolled in wonder bread with yellow American cheese.

The Bible posted:

One of them stated that he paid. I even remember him having to pay more than normal for some reason.

They had to have fleeced him, because there's no way that spineless dweeb could negotiate while being horny. Like the sensation of making his own decision without his dad's supervision probably overwhelmed him and he agreed to whatever sum they said. The one pornstar said he was apologetic for the 'rough trade' after she unfriended him on Facebook and offered her double for the next session.

red19fire fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Oct 11, 2015

Fitzy Fitz
May 14, 2005






tater tot enchilada casserole

Uncle Salty
Jan 19, 2008
BOYS

Jim Bob tater bob

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON


red19fire posted:

So its probably a hot dog rolled in wonder bread with yellow American cheese.

I can't vouch for the authenticity of this recipe:

Duggar's Cheesy Chicken & Rice Enchiladas posted:

Enchilada filling:
5 c. cooked rice
1 c. sour cream
2 c. shredded cheddar cheese
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 can green chili (blended)
1 can chicken (smashed w/fork)
2 t. salt
2 t. pepper
2 t. onion powder
Cheese Sauce:
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 can green chilis (blended)
2 c. shredded cheddar cheese
1 can evaporated milk
20 flour tortillas

...but the hotdogs wrapped in bread with a slice of American cheese sounds more appetizing, and this is coming from someone who hasn't eaten a hotdog since the fifth grade.

Geoj fucked around with this message at 18:47 on Oct 11, 2015

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"


Acne Rain posted:

threads gotten too real and is making me sad, needs more jim bob posts

rim job Jim Bob

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

I DON'T ALWAYS
HERDY DUR MUR FLERP FLERPITY
FLOOPIN
BUT WHEN I DO
I YER DER FLERPITY
THURN DER DERMIN
BORK! BORK! BORK!


bob of jims

josh, duggarer of sisters

Depressio111117
Oct 18, 2014

A whole world of imagination beyond the oompah band.

I was caught
In the middle of molestation
(Jim Bob)
I looked round
Duggarin' 'cause of sexual frustration
(Jim Bob)
My mind raced
And I thought
What could I do
(Jim Bob)
I knew I could blame
Porn stars with big boobs
(Jim Bob)

The Grimace
Sep 18, 2005

Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?


Acne Rain posted:

threads gotten too real and is making me sad, needs more jim bob posts

bob mij

Vicodiva
Sep 27, 2012


cumshitter posted:

put your baby on a blanket. don't give it any toys or show it any affection. if it cries its trying to manipulate you so dont respond to that. punish the baby if it goes off the blanket.

you need to break your baby like you would a horse otherwise babies try to play you from day one

And sad to say it's nothing new, having been resurrected from less generally enlightened schools of thought. Francis Wayland, a 19th century "educator" withheld food and water from his 15 month old child for a day and a half in order to break his will and proudly wrote about it. http://www.merrycoz.org/articles/WAYLAND.xhtml

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien


When are we going to reach the bottom of all of this. When is the duggar rabbit hole going to end

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

RowboatMan: Freezing time is an old P.I. trick...


EXTREME INSERTION posted:

When are we going to reach the bottom of all of this. When is the duggar rabbit hole going to end

There'll always be more dirt to duggar through.

Buffer Overflow
Sep 3, 2006
Interweb Addict

EXTREME INSERTION posted:

When are we going to reach the bottom of all of this. When is the duggar rabbit hole going to end

Josh Duggar found asphixiated and wearing a gimp suit in a West Hollywood S&M dungeon.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005



EXTREME INSERTION posted:

When are we going to reach the bottom of all of this. When is the duggar rabbit hole going to end

not til they dugg to china and end up in a nike factory

GIANT OUIJA BOARD
Aug 22, 2011

177 Years of Your Dick
All
Night
Non
Stop


When the FBI tries to enter the Duggar compound to retrieve Josh's body and the whole thing goes all Waco.

Heath
Apr 29, 2008



If only

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

you can call
but I seldom answer after all





Geoj posted:

I can't vouch for the authenticity of this recipe:

quote:

1 can chicken (smashed w/fork)

certainly the most offensive thing in this thread

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


Chickens come in cans now?

Xlorp
Jan 23, 2008




Jumpingmanjim posted:

Chickens come in cans now?

Sure, just hold the nozzle down for as many seconds as you have people coming over to eat

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014



Vicodiva posted:

Francis Wayland, a 19th century "educator" withheld food and water from his 15 month old child for a day and a half in order to break his will and proudly wrote about it. http://www.merrycoz.org/articles/WAYLAND.xhtml

Once they lose consciousness they'll stay on the blanket.




I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


http://www.inquisitr.com/2487038/ji...uleu-guatemala/


So if the internet is to be believed Jill and Derrick are moving to Guatemala to be missionaries:

Quote-Unquote
Oct 21, 2002



been caught duggaring once, when she was five

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

Klomping endlessly thru the gray void...





Fun Shoe

Judging by this mess, it seems that crazy religious families in the US get mad money tossed their way. are there any goonettes that can act infantile and would be interested in a long, slow troll of the bible belt? 50/50 split of all takings.

KiteAuraan
Aug 5, 2014

JER GEDDA FERDA RADDA ARA!




Geoj posted:

I can't vouch for the authenticity of this recipe:


...but the hotdogs wrapped in bread with a slice of American cheese sounds more appetizing, and this is coming from someone who hasn't eaten a hotdog since the fifth grade.

That's a Gringo'd up version of New Mexican green chili casserole. Also, only one can for that much is loving hilarious. We use 9 at the least when we make that much and none of that evaporated milk and rice bullshit.

Fiend
Dec 2, 2001


staberind posted:

Judging by this mess, it seems that crazy religious families in the US get mad money tossed their way. are there any goonettes that can act infantile and would be interested in a long, slow troll of the bible belt? 50/50 split of all takings.

This is probably responsible for 99% of all republican and Christian talk radio in merica

The Bible
May 8, 2010



staberind posted:

Judging by this mess, it seems that crazy religious families in the US get mad money tossed their way. are there any goonettes that can act infantile and would be interested in a long, slow troll of the bible belt? 50/50 split of all takings.

Most of the cultist ones actually live in crushing poverty. Only the true freakshows get airtime and unlimited church support.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

RowboatMan: Freezing time is an old P.I. trick...


Quote-Unquote posted:

been caught duggaring once, when she was five

"And I walk past my parents' door"

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




Bump Bump

quote:

Following Law and Order’s long tradition of basing its plots on real-life tragedies, NBC announced its Special Victims Unit franchise will rip the story of confirmed molester and alleged pornography fanboy Josh Duggar from the headlines for an upcoming episode.

NBC-owned E! News somehow managed to get the scoop on the plot of Law and Order: Duggar Victims Unit, and it looks like things will be even worse for the fictional Duggars than they are for the “reality” version of the family:

In ‘Patrimonial Burden,’ the Wednesday, Nov. 4, episode of the long-running NBC drama, the squad investigates a famous reality TV family after it’s discovered the 13-year-old daughter is pregnant. Naturally, there’s a web of secrets at play in with this virtuous family.

http://www.eonline.com/news/705401/...ng-with-a-twist

Hooded Reptile
Aug 31, 2015


http://www.people.com/article/miche...-newlywed-women

Michelle Duggar Writes New Blog Post Encouraging Women to Be 'Joyfully Available' to Have Sex with Husbands, Even While Pregnant

According to Michelle, Jim Bob, in turn, lays down "his life in any way."

"He will sit there and listen to everything I need to tell him because he knows that I'm there for him, too. I’m meeting his needs, he's meeting my needs," Michelle wrote. "We're willing to be there for each other. And each one of us has different needs in a marriage relationship and that's what's so precious."

Michelle also advised newlyweds to talk about disagreements in private, as well as to get "marriage advice when you need it."





EngineerSean
Feb 9, 2004

by zen death robot


quote:

In ‘Patrimonial Burden,’ the Wednesday, Nov. 4, episode of the long-running NBC drama, the squad investigates a famous reality TV family after it’s discovered the 13-year-old daughter is pregnant. Naturally, there’s a web of secrets at play in with this virtuous family.

Nice, in the Law and Order fan fic either Jim Bob or Josh actually gets the sister pregnant, I'm sure that this will be a balanced reporting and in no way completely disgusting and totally unsuitable for network television

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



I want to see Ice-T punch Josh or a Josh-look-a-like in his stupid potato face.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

It's always Heath's fault.



Plaster Town Cop

Casimir Radon posted:

I want to see Ice-T punch Josh or a Josh-look-a-like in his stupid potato face.

Why stop at the lookalike?

Vicodiva
Sep 27, 2012


Jumpingmanjim posted:

http://www.inquisitr.com/2487038/ji...uleu-guatemala/


So if the internet is to be believed Jill and Derrick are moving to Guatemala to be missionaries:





Just everything about that request for info on destination costs One Week before loading up a 20'. Load out at your house, WTF?? All household belongings likely self loaded into the can and without proper crating, blocking, and bracing = damage inevitable. Additional customs clearances, port fees, transport from the port - look at another $1000+ in costs easily; because they're going to have to dray that container all the way across Guatemala from east to west - including mountains and attendant fine highway infrastructure. What about your manifest with valuations, dumbfucks? They'll be back on twatter or facebook or wherever shilling for more money to cover their massive stupidity. Now if they were real missionaries with a real Guatemala mission, their denomination would almost assuredly have a clearance agent at the port that they work with on the regular. But we have already established that they're Grifternaries. Gonna be a clusterfuck.

Vicodiva fucked around with this message at 23:37 on Oct 12, 2015

Fitzy Fitz
May 14, 2005






Is it normal to take all of your possessions with you when you move to another country?

I feel like it isn't.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


Vicodiva posted:

Now if they were real missionaries with a real Guatemala mission, their denomination would almost assuredly have a clearance agent at the port that they work with on the regular. But we have already established that they're Grifternaries.

I feel if they were real missionaries they wouldn't be taking a shipping container worth of crap.

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Vicodiva
Sep 27, 2012


Jumpingmanjim posted:

I feel if they were real missionaries they wouldn't be taking a shipping container worth of crap.

true that

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