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A MIRACLE
Sep 17, 2007

All right. It's Saturday night; I have no date, a two-liter bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix-tape... Let's rock.



am i crazy or do super devout christian girls always have really long hair

countenance

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Max Hammer
Jan 3, 2008

ANTIFREEZE!!!


dog buttz posted:

ah. so they used a picture of her pre-pregnancy to bullshit you into thinking she did give birth. makes sense.

And she already has the thoudand-yard-stare going on, so no need to fake that. And the look only gets more pathetic as more kids drop out of her.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012



A MIRACLE posted:

am i crazy or do super devout christian girls always have really long hair

countenance

that's how it is nearly every time I see them but rarely I will see them with the hair cropped at the shoulders. maybe they are being punished or smth

Julet Esqu
May 6, 2007

In the end, they just sulk.



The picture in Walmart was obviously taken before the birth, but Jessa has had the baby. E! news covers it in their usual tongue-bath style.


A MIRACLE posted:

am i crazy or do super devout christian girls always have really long hair

countenance

1 Corinthians 11 posted:

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the traditions just as I passed them on to you. But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her headit is the same as having her head shaved. For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head.

A man ought not to cover his head,since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. It is for this reason that a woman ought to have authority over her own head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.

Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practicenor do the churches of God.

It may be worth pointing out that while it is generally agreed that the Apostle Paul wrote the book of Corinthians, there is a great deal of speculation that this specific passage as well as a later one about womens' roles in the church may have been inserted by a different author at a later date, mainly because it sharply conflicts with other confirmed writings of his where he's cool with women taking leadership roles in the church and where he isn't continually appealing to religious law (in all his other writings he was very much a fan of God's Grace replacing law). Who would add such horrible things to his writings? I don't know. I can't imagine who in the early church might want women to to take a more subservient role.

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON


Julet Esqu posted:

It may be worth pointing out that while it is generally agreed that the Apostle Paul wrote the book of Corinthians, there is a great deal of speculation that this specific passage as well as a later one about womens' roles in the church may have been inserted by a different author at a later date, mainly because it sharply conflicts with other confirmed writings of his where he's cool with women taking leadership roles in the church and where he isn't continually appealing to religious law (in all his other writings he was very much a fan of God's Grace replacing law). Who would add such horrible things to his writings? I don't know. I can't imagine who in the early church might want women to to take a more subservient role.

Want to see an evangelical christian's head explode?

Point out how the bible as we know it today is the end result of centuries of ham-fisted editing by the catholic church during the dark ages, when mere possession of printed text was a capital offense if you weren't a scholar or member of the clergy/nobility.

The Bible
May 8, 2010



Nelson Mandingo posted:

I like how the Duggars have pretty much abandoned Josh. Pretty christian of them.

Indeed. He dishonored his parents. Biblically speaking, they should have stoned him to death.

Geoj posted:

Want to see an evangelical christian's head explode?

Point out how the bible as we know it today is the end result of centuries of ham-fisted editing by the catholic church during the dark ages, when mere possession of printed text was a capital offense if you weren't a scholar or member of the clergy/nobility.

This won't even make them blink. Most don't even read the Bible, let alone have any sense of its history.

They'll just say that God guided its contents to be what he wants it to be, then continue to just believe whatever they like, even if it is directly contradicted by the Bible.

The Bible fucked around with this message at 23:45 on Nov 6, 2015

Xlorp
Jan 23, 2008




The Bible posted:

Indeed. He dishonored his parents. Biblically speaking, they should have stoned him to death.

There's still time for that if they haven't already used the family shovel.

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

tfw Dragon Lee breaks the Hiromu before you get another turn



Julet Esqu posted:

Jessa finally had her first kid. It's a boy, but no word on the name yet. Jim Bob




posing with a tabloid magazine cover about your delivery room drama while still pregnant kinda owns actually.

Julet Esqu posted:

The picture in Walmart was obviously taken before the birth, but Jessa has had the baby. E! news covers it in their usual tongue-bath style.



It may be worth pointing out that while it is generally agreed that the Apostle Paul wrote the book of Corinthians, there is a great deal of speculation that this specific passage as well as a later one about womens' roles in the church may have been inserted by a different author at a later date, mainly because it sharply conflicts with other confirmed writings of his where he's cool with women taking leadership roles in the church and where he isn't continually appealing to religious law (in all his other writings he was very much a fan of God's Grace replacing law). Who would add such horrible things to his writings? I don't know. I can't imagine who in the early church might want women to to take a more subservient role.

its bad for men to wear hats! also women shouldnt cut their hair but men should because... because gently caress you god told me! he said it was super duper important!

shiksa fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Nov 7, 2015

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


shiksa posted:

its bad for men to wear hats! also women shouldnt cut their hair but men should because... because gently caress you god told me! he said it was super duper important!

This is the reason behind the "tonsure" haircuts for various holy men. So at least they tried!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonsure

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...b-11oz-boy.html

Oh God that voice.

XMNN
Apr 26, 2008



its seriously creepy

also how did they get the call

also this is what hospitals were invented for

red19fire
May 26, 2010



XMNN posted:

also this is what hospitals were invented for

Then why did they spend all that time sending in box tops to get that fake midwife certification?

I mean luckily God had actual doctors standing by to handle the actual work. But praise Jesus, that fake midwife course paid for itself! 1 for 1!

It should be like those libertarians who refuse to pay for fire services, then stamp their feet in the street when their houses burn down and the fire service refuses to put out the fire. Unfortunately there has to be blood for the blood god for word to get out that maybe fake midwife courses are loving dangerous if things go pear-shaped.

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014




Ramrod XTreme

A MIRACLE posted:

am i crazy or do super devout christian girls always have really long hair

countenance

they take in the butt and the hair is good for tempo

Max Hammer
Jan 3, 2008

ANTIFREEZE!!!


The Bible posted:

Indeed. He dishonored his parents. Biblically speaking, they should have stoned him to death.

First, awesome Username/Post combo.

Second, I'm sure there are many MANY people who would gladly throw the first stone.

TheKennedys
Sep 23, 2006

By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet


In true SVU fashion, I called the ending the second I saw the pastor and his gosh-darn-aren't-I-just-the-holiest-motherfucker-in-the-room smarmy-rear end punchable face. Did not see the other daughter being the youngest kid's mom coming but I probably should have. If you can't take inspiration from rumors about Sarah Palin, you're just not doing your job, SVU. Also SVU has now gotten a bit too meta; they referred to the Duggars by name in the beginning of the episode, but still used the episode as a Duggar analogue down to the oldest son's stint in a "Christian rehab" for dirty thoughts.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT

Gravy Boat 2k

Nelson Mandingo posted:

I like how the Duggars have pretty much abandoned Josh. Pretty christian of them.

Whats funny is that if there had been no media backlash they would have embraced him with open arms and blamed his wife.

How is the whole selling off the house so that she doesn't get any property or money in the potential divorce thing going, by the way?

A MIRACLE
Sep 17, 2007

All right. It's Saturday night; I have no date, a two-liter bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix-tape... Let's rock.



XMNN posted:

its seriously creepy

also how did they get the call

also this is what hospitals were invented for

holy poo poo dude, that phone call

holy shiiiiit

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT

Gravy Boat 2k

A MIRACLE posted:

holy poo poo dude, that phone call

holy shiiiiit

I can just see her bug-eyed stare saying this in that "calm" baby voice, not even existing anymore.

I wonder, is this what people locked up in mental institutions for life are like? Or are they better off? I'm going with yes.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT

Gravy Boat 2k

From that article.

That body language.

Michelle: "I want to die why wont anyone let me die. I hate this man that is touching me it disgusts me. Please let me die."

tacodaemon
Nov 27, 2006





cumshitter posted:

wow he's like 23 or something in this he totally committed himself to that haircut

I think it was Calvin Trillin who wrote that you can always tell when was the happiest time in a man's life because that's the hairstyle he sticks with for good

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

you can call
but I seldom answer after all




Thin Privilege posted:

From that article.

That body language.

Michelle: "I want to die why wont anyone let me die. I hate this man that is touching me it disgusts me. Please let me die."



jimbobs face is so god drat unsettling

The American Dream
Mar 1, 2007
Don't Forget My Balls

I think they mention the duggars having a scandal like that so Jim Bob can't sue.

"See, it's not about Jim Bob and his pack of yokels. Totally different family".

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

i lust for duggar hair

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

RowboatMan: Freezing time is an old P.I. trick...


Rambling Robot posted:

i lust for duggar hair

I would say "so does Josh", but something tells me he's the "shaved bald" type of guy.

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I would say "so does Josh", but something tells me he's the "shaved bald" type of guy.

He has the hands-on approach America needs.

America needs more families like the Duggars.

We need families that turn to God in times of crisis.

Families that rely on each other and are united under the care of loving and sacrificial parents.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


WATCH VIDEO

EXCLUSIVE

JESSA DUGGAR SEEWALD

RUSHED TO HOSPITAL DURING CHILDBIRTH

   

11/7/15 3:56 AM PST

680

Jessa Duggar delivered a baby boy Thursday night, but it wasn't easy ... we've learned she tried giving birth at home but there were complications and she was rushed to the hospital.

We're told Jessa was taken by ambulance from one of the Duggar homes in Fayetteville, Arkansas to the local hospital. It's unclear what happened, but we do know she was trying to do a home birth. 

The baby weighed in at 9 lbs 11 oz  and measured more than 21 inches, so it just may have been too big.

Jessa married Ben Seewald last year. It's their first kid together and if she follows in her mom's footsteps ... it probably won't be their last.

I would blow Dane Cook fucked around with this message at 12:19 on Nov 7, 2015

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie



She couldn't even get the first one out how is she gonna handle the other 20?

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




Jill had a hosed up home birth that ended up in the hospital after 70 hours too. She needed a c-section.

And Josh's wife literally gave birth into a toilet.

God's people.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005



XMNN posted:

also how did they get the call

911 calls are public record. don't know the process but you can just ask for them. i routinely make fake calls about how i hurt my giant dick just to get the info out there.

Michelle is creepy calm and sounds like she's on painkillers or something but childbirth is just another day for her.

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

Reverse Centaur posted:


And Josh's wife literally gave birth into a toilet.


how fitting.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005



have your priest bless the toilet tank and it's a one stop birth and baptismal station

Blizzy_Cow
Feb 27, 2006
When one burns one's bridges, what a wonderful fire it makes

Wouldnt the water loss its holiness after the first flush? Just drop a cross in the tank should take care of that though right?

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

RowboatMan: Freezing time is an old P.I. trick...


Blizzy_Cow posted:

Wouldnt the water loss its holiness after the first flush? Just drop a cross in the tank should take care of that though right?

At the same time, if holy water can be spread, one blessed flush is all anyone would need.

Julet Esqu
May 6, 2007

In the end, they just sulk.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bOCxhYnE90

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup


Pillbug


Jim Bob calls them by their loving numbers?
Holy poo poo.

Blizzy_Cow
Feb 27, 2006
When one burns one's bridges, what a wonderful fire it makes

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

At the same time, if holy water can be spread, one blessed flush is all anyone would need.

Everyone get a cross and put it in the tank now. It is our christian duty to spread holy shits across the world.

Krispy Wafer
Jul 26, 2002

I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat



Grimey Drawer

Geoj posted:

Want to see an evangelical christian's head explode?

Point out how the bible as we know it today is the end result of centuries of ham-fisted editing by the catholic church during the dark ages, when mere possession of printed text was a capital offense if you weren't a scholar or member of the clergy/nobility.

Such as Genesis 1 (God created the world in 7 days) being written hundreds of years after Genesis 2 (Adam and Eve) or how many Bible stories closely resemble older BabylonIan myths.

Just to stay with the Genesis example, in the first part it says God created man and woman at the same time, but Genesis 2 has Adam first. Which lead to the myth that Adam had a first wife named Lilith who displeased him. So instead of just saying the two accounts were written at different times by different people and don't match, they created a whole new character. It's like George Lucas wrote it.

I'm all for religion and the like, but it's crazy how many people think the Bible is an infallible historical document.

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




Does Jim Bob Bob for pussy?

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012



If somebody marry his sista, no matta his fadda's girl o his mudda's girl, an dey make sex togedda, az shame fo dem. You guys gotta cut dem off in front all da peopo, so dey not dea peopo no moa. Da guy make his sista shame, so he get da blame fo dat.

jim bob

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Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012



Nobody suppose to go nea one close ohana fo make sex wit dem. I Yahweh, da God dass fo real.

You betta not make sex wit yoa sista, no matta her yoa fadda's girl o yoa mudda's girl, no matta she grow up da same house wit you, o anodda place.

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