Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014




Ramrod XTreme

they dugg to greedily they dugg too deep

the Jim hit the Bob that day

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Amarcarts
Feb 21, 2007

This looks a lot like suffering.


“Get away from her, you Josh!”
"We're in the pipe, Jim by Bob"
“I say we take off, Jim the Bob from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"


Top City Homo posted:

they dugg to greedily they dugg too deep

the Jim hit the Bob that day

Hahaha yes

GIANT OUIJA BOARD
Aug 22, 2011

177 Years of Your Dick
All
Night
Non
Stop


Amarcarts posted:

“Get away from her, you Josh!”

:vince:

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014




Ramrod XTreme



[/quote]

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

RowboatMan: Freezing time is an old P.I. trick...




:vince:

Very nice work.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

eat FRESH motherfuckers!!!!

Dmitri-9
Nov 30, 2004

There's something really sexy about Scrooge McDuck. I love Uncle Scrooge.



Hmmm what should my daughter wear to this "purity" ball? Oh I know a backless spaghetti strap cocktail dress, that'll look real good on my hotel room floor I mean daughter.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Dmitri-9 posted:

Hmmm what should my daughter wear to this "purity" ball? Oh I know a backless spaghetti strap cocktail dress, that'll look real good on my hotel room floor I mean daughter.

It's like the traditional debut where you formally introduce a young woman to polite society and show her off to potential suitors, only in this case those suitors are married dads and presumably some of their daughters who just sorta ogle them and talk about how much they aren't going to gently caress.

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."





LethalGeek
Nov 4, 2009



That is still one of the creepiest things I've seen

SEX BURRITO
Jun 30, 2007

Not much fun

How long have these purity ball things being going on? It'd be interesting to hear from these girls 10 or 15 years after the ball and hear their experiences.

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY


SEX BURRITO posted:

How long have these purity ball things being going on? It'd be interesting to hear from these girls 10 or 15 years after the ball and hear their experiences.
I bet if you asked the organizers they would claim it went back to Mycenaean Greece.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT

Gravy Boat 2k

Dmitri-9 posted:

Hmmm what should my daughter wear to this "purity" ball? Oh I know a backless spaghetti strap cocktail dress, that'll look real good on my hotel room floor I mean daughter.

I was grossed out before but now that you're not point that out :barf: what is wrong with these people?

Carth Dookie
Jan 28, 2013



Thin Privilege posted:

I was grossed out before but now that you're not point that out :barf: what is wrong with these people?

She also reminds me of Ronda Rousey

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT

Gravy Boat 2k

Carth Dookie posted:

She also reminds me of Ronda Rousey

I had to look that up and that's a strange association to make. Teen girl = super muscular weight lift lady?

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you


Thin Privilege posted:

I was grossed out before but now that you're not point that out :barf: what is wrong with these people?

Hey almost everyone gags a little when they finally get to the ball

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT

Gravy Boat 2k

canyoneer posted:

Hey almost everyone gags a little when they finally get to the ball

:barf: is the appropriate response to that, literally. (Gag reflex)

E: :barf:

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Switchblade Switcharoo

Thin Privilege posted:

I had to look that up and that's a strange association to make. Teen girl = super muscular weight lift lady?

A younger slimmer Rhonda

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON


SEX BURRITO posted:

How long have these purity ball things being going on? It'd be interesting to hear from these girls 10 or 15 years after the ball and hear their experiences.

You'd probably get a meek "oh, you'll have to ask my husband. He says I'm not allowed to talk to strangers."

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

i like cats


Geoj posted:

You'd probably get a meek "oh, you'll have to ask my husband. He says I'm not allowed to talk to strangers."

LOL. You have way too much faith in these things. I bet half of them eventually wind up in a Girls Gone Wild video.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese, and a garden full of trees.



In an almost complete reversal of what you would normally think, I have less issue with the very little pre-teen girls going to these 'purity balls' than the teenagers.

The little girls don't know about any of the creepy sexual stuff, nor any of the misogynist "you are the property of your father until he give you to your husband" issues. They just want to wear a pretty dress and go to a party with their dads.

The teenagers surely are old enough to know how creepy, and possessive, and misogynist it all is, yet they go through with it anyway.

Also, where are the mothers in all of this?

Random Hajile
Aug 25, 2003



BrigadierSensible posted:

Also, where are the mothers in all of this?

In the households that have anything to do with purity balls? They're in the kitchen.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014



Dmitri-9 posted:

Oh I know a backless spaghetti strap cocktail dress, that'll look real good on my hotel room floor I mean daughter.

Holy poo poo :barf: :suicide:

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."






She is now an openly gay feminist


So what happened if someone broke their pledge? Would it all be hush hush or did they make a big deal about it?


quote:

There were confessional “ceremonies.” They weren't something I ever had to do but other girls in my class did. Basically if you "break your purity" then you have to confess in front of your pastor and your father in order to "revitalize your purity." So you sit there with these two creepy old men and stand up and say "last night I gave Jesse a blowjob and I apologize to my father and to God." Then the pastor asks you details (i.e how did it happen/ how did it make you feel) to which the girl replies, to her father and pastor, that she got drunk and sucked a dick and felt like a whore. And then you are given your purity back.

http://iacknowledge.net/creepy-pictures-from-christian-purity-ball-where-girls-pledge-virginity-until-marriage/

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006

Was ist das problem fraulein?


christians so obsessed w purity they've utterly destroyed any path that could be reconciled towards it for everyone involved.

Antifa Turkeesian
Aug 20, 2006




This one looks a little too True Detective for me. Was there something about these daddy-daughter wedding things on Showtime that I missed?

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:



She is now an openly gay feminist


So what happened if someone broke their pledge? Would it all be hush hush or did they make a big deal about it?



http://iacknowledge.net/creepy-pictures-from-christian-purity-ball-where-girls-pledge-virginity-until-marriage/



This is so creepy it makes my skin crawl.

Regalingualius
Jan 6, 2012


Jesus. :stonk:

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




Purity Pledges

For Fathers

quote:

I (Daughter’s Name)’s Father, choose before to God to war for my daughter’s purity. I acknowledge myself as the authority and protector of my daughter’s virginity, and pledge to be a man of integrity as I lead, guide, and pray over my daughter and her virginity – as the High Priest of my home.


For Virgins

quote:

I (Name) pledge my purity to my father, my future/husband and my Creator. I recognize that virginity is my most precious gift to offer to my future husband. I will not engage in sexual activity of any kind before marriage but will keep my thought and my body pure as a very special present for the one I marry.


For Secondary Virgins (those who have engaged in promiscuous behavior) and wish to recommit themselves to lives of purity)

quote:

I (Name) re–pledge my purity to my father, my future/husband and my Creator. I now recognize that virginity is my most precious gift to offer my future husband. I deeply regret and will never again engage in sexual activity of any kind before marriage but will keep my thought and my body pure as a very special present for the one I marry.

And gifts are given

quote:

During the ceremony, remembrance gifts are exchanged to represent the oath of the father to protect his daughter and the promise of the girl for chastity. A popular gift is a necklace or charm bracelet that it is in the shape of the heart that the father gives to the girl and the girl gives the father the key that signifies the key to her heart that should be given to the husband at her wedding. The ceremony also is meant to show the girls the standard and the respect that they should be given by the men who are in their lives.

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008




I'll bet they insist on their sons calling them "sir" too.

Antifa Turkeesian
Aug 20, 2006



I guess marrying a secondary virgin is like buying a refurbished printer.

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Are rape victims secondary virgins who have to beg God to make then not damaged goods?

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Purity Pledges

For Fathers



For Virgins



For Secondary Virgins (those who have engaged in promiscuous behavior) and wish to recommit themselves to lives of purity)


And gifts are given

The pledge didn't work the first time, better say it again with a few extra words so we can pretend nothing happened

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008




Nicetalga4Meltdown posted:

Are rape victims secondary virgins who have to beg God to make then not damaged goods?
Imagine if you will a chewed up piece of gum...

Nostalgia4Infinity
Feb 27, 2007

10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

What if the rapist was her dad? Does she have to pledge herself to him?

Antifa Turkeesian
Aug 20, 2006



Nicetalga4Meltdown posted:

What if the rapist was her dad? Does she have to pledge herself to him?

Must apologize for tempting him and beg for forgiveness.

King Possum III
Feb 15, 2016



This recycling of a girl's virginity by saying a few magic words makes no sense to me.

Once you become a pickle, you can never be a cucumber again.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup


Pillbug

King Possum III posted:

This recycling of a girl's virginity by saying a few magic words makes no sense to me.

Once you become a pickle, you can never be a cucumber again.

Welcome to the wacky world of religon my friend.
You can rape and kill all your life, but hey, if you repent just before they kill you in the chair you get to goto HEAVEN!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014




Ramrod XTreme

once you have jimmed you must bob

  • Locked thread