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ham_sanitizer
Jul 11, 2014

professional swine bather

Darkman Fanpage posted:

no items. missionary only. final destination.

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babypolis
Nov 4, 2009

It's a hogspiracy

Gatekeeper posted:

i hear this a lot and i've never understood it. i feel like i must have missed some incredible interviews or something because i've only ever seen the guy being hilariously lovely and awful

its a carefully manicured image to hide the fact hes a corrupt, immoral gently caress with tons of regressive and harmful beliefs

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Not cancelled yet and is being done by Liberty "University"



http://www.alive.org/speakers/

lmao

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."


Do think they would autograph a copy of the police report?

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005




[ASK] Me About OS/2 WARP

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Do think they would autograph a copy of the police report?

does it look like a check from the discovery channel

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Do think they would autograph a copy of the police report?

Turn up with a wheelbarrow full of stones and start shouting 'Stone Josh just as his mother wishes, $5 a rock! $10 for three".

Matinee
Sep 15, 2007

I don't know what's sadder; the hail-mary (lol wrong religion) that this sister-fingering gently caress has been given, or the fact that vast swathes of America seem to think 'progressive' and 'worldliness' are somehow character flaws.

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

lincoln lied, america's average IQ died

swampland
Oct 16, 2007

Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action
Yeah worldliness is one that's new to me but it seems to be on the tongue of all the fundamentalist assholes posted itt

E: probs not even close to the worst thing that's been on their tongues tho

swampland fucked around with this message at 20:39 on May 28, 2015

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
soon to be followed by "rational" and "thinks critically"

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


Jonny 290 posted:

southern protestants unironically believe that catholics worship statues and drink blood at mass. its loving hilarious listening to them trying to play sixth-generation telephone with catholic dogma

my dad, who grew up hardcore southern baptist but has been pretty much non-religious since the 70s, still brings up weird Blood Libel type stuff about catholics occasionally

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005




[ASK] Me About OS/2 WARP

swampland posted:

Yeah worldliness is one that's new to me

and the funny part is that its just as relative as everything else. you pull some weird fundamentalists through a wormhole from 1827 and show them even the pre-rape Duggars and they'll laugh at the filthy, corrupt sons of mammon

they dont mind the worldliness that delivers miracle whip x 20 jars on paved roads via walmart truck to their front door

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
i was raised catholic and as a kid i just thought that all the wafers and communion wine became part of Jesus, and that he was totally huge like 50 times the planet, and that someday giant Jesus would have to fight some big monster or something but until then we had to keep embiggening Jesus

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


Some how the blood=wine thing never creeped me out nearly as much as the flesh=wafer part.

Shark Sandwich
Sep 6, 2010

by R. Guyovich
catholicism is kinda metal when you think about it. angels and demons and saints with swords and poo poo slaying dragons and eating the magic flesh and blood of a dead mangod. it's the stuff of dio albums

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."


Funny or Die?

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/82a2f2d61f/the-duggars-respond

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme
Jim Bob

Dammit_Carl!
Mar 5, 2013
Jim Bo...hey...you look quite fetchin' there, girl :pedo:

Dammit_Carl!
Mar 5, 2013

(Kid in back) Lookout! Daddy's got his sexin' glasses on! Yeeehaaawww!

p.s. last one from me, I swear

Vacation Tenzin
Jan 23, 2005

I'M TOTALLY CALM AND RELAXED.

Pop pop pop pop

Voted funny

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007



Nike! NIKE!!! Aw dang I sinned my britches again...

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I really do wonder what it's like for this super christian people to have sex... I mean, if they're trying for a child (or not preventing pregnancy at all), then by those religious rules, they're allowed to gently caress. So... do they get into it at all? Is it missionary or nothing? Is there foreplay?

And just as I write that, I realize that if it involves Jim Bob, I don't want to know.



I mean LOOK AT THIS GUY. He looks like an aged infant, like his name should be Georgie and he wears velcro shoes and drools a lot.

idk some of the stuff he's said but I can't remember now have lead me to believe they get freaky with it

babypolis
Nov 4, 2009

It's a hogspiracy

dog buttz posted:

idk some of the stuff he's said but I can't remember now have lead me to believe they get freaky with it

someone posted a video of them paractically doing it doggy style at a mini golf course

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I really do wonder what it's like for this super christian people to have sex... I mean, if they're trying for a child (or not preventing pregnancy at all), then by those religious rules, they're allowed to gently caress. So... do they get into it at all? Is it missionary or nothing? Is there foreplay?

And just as I write that, I realize that if it involves Jim Bob, I don't want to know.



I mean LOOK AT THIS GUY. He looks like an aged infant, like his name should be Georgie and he wears velcro shoes and drools a lot.

imagine his penis

imagine his penis

Vacation Tenzin
Jan 23, 2005

I'M TOTALLY CALM AND RELAXED.
Cults like this make it very clear the woman isn't supposed to enjoy sex, so my guess is that Michelle just lays there silently as Jim Bob furiously pushes rope for a few seconds until he blows his load into her babycannon and then they put their modest clothing back on and pray for Jesus to give them another JimBobFace baby.

M_Sinistrari
Sep 5, 2008

Do you like scary movies?



Slaughterhouse-Ive posted:

catholicism is kinda metal when you think about it. angels and demons and saints with swords and poo poo slaying dragons and eating the magic flesh and blood of a dead mangod. it's the stuff of dio albums

We also have the better exorcism/possession films and gothic as gently caress cathedrals.

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."


Mr. Pumroy posted:

imagine his penis

imagine his penis

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Vacation Tenzin posted:

Cults like this make it very clear the woman isn't supposed to enjoy sex, so my guess is that Michelle just lays there silently as Jim Bob furiously pushes rope for a few seconds until he blows his load into her babycannon and then they put their modest clothing back on and pray for Jesus to give them another JimBobFace baby.

What her first orgasm gonna look like? I need descriptive words

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.




:gizz:

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."


Do you think they have a Sybian?

Capilarean
Apr 10, 2009

Mr. Pumroy posted:

imagine his penis

imagine his penis

All I'm picturing is another Jim Bob in his pants.

funeral home DJ
Apr 21, 2003


Pillbug

Slaughterhouse-Ive posted:

catholicism is kinda metal when you think about it. angels and demons and saints with swords and poo poo slaying dragons and eating the magic flesh and blood of a dead mangod. it's the stuff of dio albums

Now that you mention it like that, I kind of want to go back to my church. That and our ballin' new pope who is a good dude. :kiddo:

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

thats what we call nu nus

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."


Clochette
Aug 12, 2013

Does anyone remember that episode of SVU where in the beginning a teenaged girl said she was raped and then it turned out her dad was infertile and had been letting black guys bang his wife so he could have a huge family until she had a hysterectomy so her dad used the guys' sperm to impregnate their daughter with a turkey baster?

Kinda reminds me of the Duggars

BULLETKISS
Jul 3, 2003


I bet Josh's thumb got quite the workout.

Hollis Brownsound
Apr 2, 2009

by Lowtax

Clochette posted:

Does anyone remember that episode of SVU where in the beginning a teenaged girl said she was raped and then it turned out her dad was infertile and had been letting black guys bang his wife so he could have a huge family until she had a hysterectomy so her dad used the guys' sperm to impregnate their daughter with a turkey baster?

Kinda reminds me of the Duggars

Are you loving serious? Is that an actual plotline?

chickie nugs for brekkie
May 17, 2010

Raper face

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012
jim bob

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Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"

Hollis Brownsound posted:

Are you loving serious? Is that an actual plotline?

Yes

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