Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
platedlizard
Aug 31, 2012

I like plates and lizards.


Top City Homo posted:

i cant believe how easy it is to start a cult

you just memorize the bible and focus an obscure passage disproportionally outside its actual relevance and make huge logical leaps in a loud certain voice

the key is to be really extreme about your views basically the more certain you are the more followers you gather

now keep in mind that the followers are a trickle but you are casting a wide enough net to catch as many people as you can

then you start stratification

in cults its important to stratify and filter

you gotta filter out as many people as possible and cast another net

finally after enough schisms you will have a core of true believers

about 100 people

this is your economic base to milk for money, rape, abuse, and treat as chattel

congrats on your new cult

grow it in size and try really hard to segment it and isolate it

make sure you keep the women to yourself and the men are sent to paramilitary brainwashing camps

keep it going and then move the whole cult to a small rural state and try to take over local politics

you are soon on your way to success

god bless

There was a cult near me that was basically the Bible, Sex, Drugs, and Raping Little Girls cult.

Except for the last bit it sounded pretty cool.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014




Ramrod XTreme

platedlizard posted:

There was a cult near me that was basically the Bible, Sex, Drugs, and Raping Little Girls cult.

Except for the last bit it sounded pretty cool.

name?

SERPUS
Mar 20, 2004


Darkman Fanpage posted:

if there isnt a mixed drink called a jim bob there should be

1 part vodka
1 part warm tomato sauce
Stir with fingers.

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007




Maybe kool-aid will wrangle a sponsorship with the Duggars before they go full Jonestown

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

RowboatMan: Freezing time is an old P.I. trick...


Lord of Pie posted:

Maybe kool-aid will wrangle a sponsorship with the Duggars before they go full Jonestown

Jimstown.

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien


Ever clear and apple juice

Shark Sandwich
Sep 6, 2010

by R. Guyovich


tbf when they say "spare the rod, spoil the child" they never say what the rod is

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!


Grimey Drawer

alcohol is haram forbidden by Jaysus

KHLAV KALASHNIKOV
Nov 13, 2005



Darkman Fanpage posted:

if there isnt a mixed drink called a jim bob there should be

Mix two beverages, then mix that with one of the original components: Jim Bob's Grandbaby.

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007




Yeah everybody knows Jeezus was knocking back Welch's grape juice at the last supper

frank.club
Jan 15, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Bob's Duggars

PassTheRemote
Mar 15, 2007

Number 6 holds The Village record in Duck Hunt.

The first one to kill wins.

TNG posted:

But really, what sort of future are they setting their children up for? The education they push only teaches things like proper victim behaviors, any sort of scientific progress made in the last 300 years is all lies and devilry, what sort of clothing on women is sinful, and that any critical thinking and opposition to the head of the family will cause you to go to hell. I don't see any development of life or job skills, encouragement to go into fields not related to spreading of their particular brand of ignorance, or generally anything of the sort that would make any of them employable or otherwise useful outside the compound.

Even with the gutting of our education system, the Duggars and their ilk are more so disadvantaged since anything involving not being a professional politician, a brood mare, a used car salesman, or physical laborer is not even on the menu. Jim Bob is going to die, and gormless emotional cripple Josh is going to take over and what then? I highly doubt that the Duggar boys are going to start or be involved in any career that would pay a decent wage. Trying to take over Arkansas, Tennessee, and Colorado are nice and everything, but the real world has technical and professional obstacles that their educations will not prepare them for in the slightest.

It'll be worse for the daughters that escape, if any do escape. They will be on their own with no life skills, probably no form of Identification, and good luck them trying get crucial documents (birth certificate, SSN card, documentations of homeschooling) from parents who will shun them and do everything possible to keep them from being able to live on their own.

platedlizard
Aug 31, 2012

I like plates and lizards.



The North Clackamas Bible Community

They had a compound in Happy Valley, Oregon. According to family members of the cult members I know the pastor did a lot of drugs with the women and girls he was screwing.

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012


SERPUS posted:

1 part vodka
1 part warm tomato sauce
Stir with fingers.

bro

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!


Grimey Drawer

jim bob I have a miracle medical treatment guar-on-teed to increase fertility that those GODLESS LIBERAL GOVERNMENT types don't want you to know about!

it's called trepanning and it's very simple

swampland
Oct 16, 2007

Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action


PassTheRemote posted:

It'll be worse for the daughters that escape, if any do escape. They will be on their own with no life skills, probably no form of Identification, and good luck them trying get crucial documents (birth certificate, SSN card, documentations of homeschooling) from parents who will shun them and do everything possible to keep them from being able to live on their own.

Gotta release a tell all book and go hard on exposing your rear end in a top hat family, make talk show money, maybe speaking fees as a cult survivor or whatever at places

Antifa Turkeesian
Aug 20, 2006



Jim Bob.

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!


Grimey Drawer

When will people learn that if you don't spay and neuter your Fundamentalist Christians that they'll just keep breeding?

Bob Barker would be ashamed

empty sea
Jul 17, 2011

gonna saddle my seahorse and float out to the sunset

Exactly. At 18 one of those kids could just walk out until she or he hits a payphone or computer and get in touch with the media. Then it's clear sailing. Imagine the fuckton of journalists and idiots who want to hear every dirty detail about the Duggars. Sure, the money they get, and probably the interviews and tell-all books, won't buy them the common sense and education they've been denied but it'll be enough to get them started.

Even if they end up broke and working min wage at McDonald's, they'll still be better off than being a brainless, submissive broodmare or dumbass patriarch leading another generation into stupidity. All they have to do is realize there are options....which they likely won't because they've been brain-washed since birth. This is worse than the Truman Show because there aren't people breaking in to shriek the truth at them, instead we just film them and laugh at their ignorance and hosed up ways of life.\

We are all Jane Goodall and god have mercy on our souls.

swampland
Oct 16, 2007

Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action


empty sea posted:

Exactly. At 18 one of those kids could just walk out until she or he hits a payphone or computer and get in touch with the media. Then it's clear sailing. Imagine the fuckton of journalists and idiots who want to hear every dirty detail about the Duggars. Sure, the money they get, and probably the interviews and tell-all books, won't buy them the common sense and education they've been denied but it'll be enough to get them started.

Even if they end up broke and working min wage at McDonald's, they'll still be better off than being a brainless, submissive broodmare or dumbass patriarch leading another generation into stupidity. All they have to do is realize there are options....which they likely won't because they've been brain-washed since birth. This is worse than the Truman Show because there aren't people breaking in to shriek the truth at them, instead we just film them and laugh at their ignorance and hosed up ways of life.\

We are all Jane Goodall and god have mercy on our souls.

Indeed, but take note Duggar kids YOU HAVE TO BE THE FIRST!!! If another sibling leaves before you they'll take all the good stories with them and your potential profits will drop enormously DO NOT SLEEP ON THIS

Dammit_Carl!
Mar 5, 2013


Nah. The lot'll have a cushier ride now that they are, "persecuted by the godless, liberal media," and get all they want and then some from all the rubes who want to, "show those godless, commie queer lovers," a thing or two by throwing even more money and attention to those fucks.

Ol' lizardbrain Jimmie Bobo and company are going to pimp this angle for at least another two years easy.

They aren't trying to win converts because they don't have to. All they have to do is make sure they stay in the good graces of the circles they run in.

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!


Grimey Drawer

you can shoot an unarmed black man and hordes of racist morons will donate like 500 k bucks to you

these weirdos are going to be fine for the rest of their lives I think

Windows 98
Nov 13, 2005

by Reene


There is supposed to be an interview with Jimmy Jangles tonight, yes? If so what time and what channel

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

Klomping endlessly thru the gray void...





Fun Shoe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?featu...e&v=QK01f5_aKY4 For those with question marks over their heads.

And because its topical as ever.

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014




Ramrod XTreme

platedlizard posted:

The North Clackamas Bible Community

They had a compound in Happy Valley, Oregon. According to family members of the cult members I know the pastor did a lot of drugs with the women and girls he was screwing.

Should have read

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien


PassTheRemote posted:

It'll be worse for the daughters that escape, if any do escape. They will be on their own with no life skills, probably no form of Identification, and good luck them trying get crucial documents (birth certificate, SSN card, documentations of homeschooling) from parents who will shun them and do everything possible to keep them from being able to live on their own.

Oh yeah I remember that chick from reddit whose fundie parents never registered her birth (she was born at home) and never took her to the doctor so when she got older she did not exist as a person in the eyes of the government. No documents. Nothing. I also remember her mom running a Christian mommy blog and spending all day pinning things on Instagram, while trying to sell people essential oils as some part of MLM scheme

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005



Slaughterhouse-Ive posted:

tbf when they say "spare the rod, spoil the child" they never say what the rod is

i love when this gets used to excuse child abuse, the rod is a herding rod and last time i checked you're not supposed to beat the poo poo out of your sheep

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."






Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006

Was ist das problem fraulein?


if anybody ever says "spare the rod" you can basically guarantee a CPS report will yield results if the family isn't politically protected like this cult.

do u know jenny
Dec 24, 2007

by Lowtax




Of course they'd take a selfie there. Of course.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


Melmac posted:



Of course they'd take a selfie there. Of course.

His hobby is molesting his sisters.

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

you can call
but I seldom answer after all





Jobby Bobby

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot


Jumpingmanjim posted:

His hobby is molesting his sisters.

His lobby is institutional protection due to political connections

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




quote:

Fox News’ Megyn Kelly warned viewers Monday night that her upcoming, exclusive sit-down with Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar might not be as “tough” as the hosts of The View and others have predicted it will be.

“I’ll take that reputation as a tough but fair journalist,” Kelly said. “However, this isn’t going to be a cross-examination of a family. It’s going to be an interview. I want to hear their story. And I think America wants to hear their story now.”

The Fox host was particularly outraged by the way some in the media have highlighted connections between the Duggars and Republican presidential candidates like Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum.

“Bill Clinton was accused of rape. He has been accused by several women of sexually assaulting them,” Kelly stated. But the fact that a presidential candidate has posed with some random member of the family that’s going through this issue is somehow a problem for the GOP’ers?” For the record, several candidates have posed with Josh Duggar and not just random members of his family.

Boooo

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/megyn-ke...ss-examination/

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot


Is Megyn Kelly equating actual rapes with rape accusations?

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!






Megyn Kelly knows when to toe the line. If a conservative is being excessively stupid or ignoring obvious reality she'll call them on it because it makes other conservatives look bad. She's hardly going to risk pissing off the elderly Fox religious conservatives for an interview with the Duggars, who while reprehensible, aren't really significant aside from their stupid TV show. Megyn Kelly's independence has probably been overstated. Though it was funny when she called Mike Huckabee Mike Fuckabee.

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Dang it, Jim Bobby!

A MIRACLE
Sep 17, 2007

All right. It's Saturday night; I have no date, a two-liter bottle of Shasta and my all-Rush mix-tape... Let's rock.



caleramaen posted:

Though it was funny when she called Mike Huckabee Mike Fuckabee.

A lazy joke but I'm still laughing

Whatev
Jan 19, 2007

unfading


Say Nothing posted:

Dang it, Jim Bobby!



reverse the ages and keep the facial expression, and pretty much, yeah

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005



lol if you thought that interview would be anything different

  • Locked thread