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  • Locked thread
flerp
Feb 25, 2014

I DON'T ALWAYS
HERDY DUR MUR FLERP FLERPITY
FLOOPIN
BUT WHEN I DO
I YER DER FLERPITY
THURN DER DERMIN
BORK! BORK! BORK!


platedlizard posted:

Most quiverfull families are poor as poo poo because even on a decent salary it's really difficult to support a family of ten.

not only that but also the dad is the only one allowed to work

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Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007




Josh Bob is destined to succeed Got hard as cult leader

proof:

Clochette
Aug 12, 2013



Jonny 290 posted:

wait i just realized that none of the girls are really overweight and i just remembered about michelle's eating disorder history and i just realized that a bunch of these girls probably have eating disorders too because it is EXTREMELY STATISTICALLY UNLIKELY that all of those girls have a bmi as low as they do

look at the guys. soon as they hit 18 they blow up into a weird pillsbury doughboy and all their hair falls out

Is it really that shocking that a patriarchal cult that's obsessed with sexuality would demand that its female members remain fuckable, while allowing the men to let themselves go?

Obligatory Toast
Mar 19, 2007

What am I reading here??

Now the women are going to have to get perms and brazilians.

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

Gotta nuke something


The Duggar went down to Georgia, and He was lookin' for a girl to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young girl juss' lookin' for a man to serve.
And the Duggar jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Girl, I'm your perv."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a Quiverfuller, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.
Now you've got some nice permed hair, girl, but give the Duggar his due.
I'll put my pole within your hole 'cause I think I'm the master of you."

The girl said, "My name's Michelle, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the most pregnant there's ever been."

Michelle, rosin up your cunny and birth some little tards.
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Duggar likes it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny trailer made of gold,
But if you lose the Duggar gets your soul.

The Duggar opened up his fly and he said, "Lemme grab my log."
And fire flew from his dick as he rosined up his hog.
And he pushed the hog right in that snizz and it made an evil hiss.
And a band of Mormons joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the Duggar finished, Michelle said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son,
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done."

"Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

The Duggar bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden trailer on the ground at Michelle's feet.
Michelle said, "Duggar, don't you even fret",
I done told you once, Man of My Dreams, I'm gonna marry you yet!"
And she played:

Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005



lol

Regrettable
Jan 4, 2010


McStabby posted:

Olive Garden sounds too fancy for Jim Bob. Do they have Fazzolis in Arkansas?

Yes, they do.

Bethamphetamine
Oct 29, 2012




College Slice


This is harder to pin down, because the Duggars don't like to share the details of how much government welfare they rely on.

Google it, and you get worthless conservative rags like the WSJ and BusinessInsider telling you that they are Real American John Galts of family budgetry.
And some blogs with a (deserved) axe to grind against them telling you that they are monsters.

Local papers doing fluff pieces hint at how much they rely on charitable donations, but we don't have concrete information on how much government aid they use monthly. That's verboten to ask or share.

spacemang_spliff
Nov 29, 2014

Rocketways drifter




Jonny 290 posted:

wait i just realized that none of the girls are really overweight and i just remembered about michelle's eating disorder history and i just realized that a bunch of these girls probably have eating disorders too because it is EXTREMELY STATISTICALLY UNLIKELY that all of those girls have a bmi as low as they do

look at the guys. soon as they hit 18 they blow up into a weird pillsbury doughboy and all their hair falls out

p unstable genes IMO

Obligatory Toast
Mar 19, 2007

What am I reading here??

They're not supposed to be getting government aid anyways, and I even wonder if they have insurance, because fertility treatments aren't loving cheap and neither are the consultations. And they've probably burned through most sensible fertility doctors in the state, considering Michelle has had a history of preeclampsia.

Captain von Trapp
Jan 22, 2006

I don't like it, and I'm sorry I ever had anything to do with it.

BrigadierSensible posted:

What do the Quiverfull/Gothardites think of guns? Are they packing heat?

Obviously, but in the south you might as well ask if they own a toaster oven. Everybody does, regardless of politics or religion.

Kite Pride Worldwide
Apr 20, 2009




God was the greatest scam ever conceived by man.

Astoundingly Ugly Baby
Mar 22, 2006



Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Duggar went down to Georgia, and He was lookin' for a girl to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young girl juss' lookin' for a man to serve.
And the Duggar jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Girl, I'm your perv."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a Quiverfuller, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.
Now you've got some nice permed hair, girl, but give the Duggar his due.
I'll put my pole within your hole 'cause I think I'm the master of you."

The girl said, "My name's Michelle, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the most pregnant there's ever been."

Michelle, rosin up your cunny and birth some little tards.
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Duggar likes it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny trailer made of gold,
But if you lose the Duggar gets your soul.

The Duggar opened up his fly and he said, "Lemme grab my log."
And fire flew from his dick as he rosined up his hog.
And he pushed the hog right in that snizz and it made an evil hiss.
And a band of Mormons joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the Duggar finished, Michelle said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son,
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done."

"Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

The Duggar bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden trailer on the ground at Michelle's feet.
Michelle said, "Duggar, don't you even fret",
I done told you once, Man of My Dreams, I'm gonna marry you yet!"
And she played:

Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

Yesss

meet girls at the store
Nov 4, 2002


BrigadierSensible posted:

What do the Quiverfull/Gothardites think of guns? Are they packing heat? There was something about a paramilitary training thingo that they send the boys to.

http://www.inquisitr.com/1934805/du...lip-on-duggars/

Do a quick GIS for "Duggars guns" and you'll see that they post pictures of themselves posing with guns all over social media.

crazycarl
Jun 13, 2001

Welcome to TB Diddlers in Mokena.

Where the special is always Dr Rassmusin's Hot Beef Injection and you can play "Whers my Manometer" with other diners


Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Duggar went down to Georgia, and He was lookin' for a girl to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young girl juss' lookin' for a man to serve.
And the Duggar jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Girl, I'm your perv."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a Quiverfuller, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.
Now you've got some nice permed hair, girl, but give the Duggar his due.
I'll put my pole within your hole 'cause I think I'm the master of you."

The girl said, "My name's Michelle, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the most pregnant there's ever been."

Michelle, rosin up your cunny and birth some little tards.
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Duggar likes it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny trailer made of gold,
But if you lose the Duggar gets your soul.

The Duggar opened up his fly and he said, "Lemme grab my log."
And fire flew from his dick as he rosined up his hog.
And he pushed the hog right in that snizz and it made an evil hiss.
And a band of Mormons joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the Duggar finished, Michelle said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son,
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done."

"Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

The Duggar bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden trailer on the ground at Michelle's feet.
Michelle said, "Duggar, don't you even fret",
I done told you once, Man of My Dreams, I'm gonna marry you yet!"
And she played:

Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

We've hit the pinnacle of this thread here.

cams
Mar 28, 2003



Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Duggar went down to Georgia, and He was lookin' for a girl to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young girl juss' lookin' for a man to serve.
And the Duggar jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Girl, I'm your perv."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a Quiverfuller, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.
Now you've got some nice permed hair, girl, but give the Duggar his due.
I'll put my pole within your hole 'cause I think I'm the master of you."

The girl said, "My name's Michelle, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the most pregnant there's ever been."

Michelle, rosin up your cunny and birth some little tards.
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Duggar likes it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny trailer made of gold,
But if you lose the Duggar gets your soul.

The Duggar opened up his fly and he said, "Lemme grab my log."
And fire flew from his dick as he rosined up his hog.
And he pushed the hog right in that snizz and it made an evil hiss.
And a band of Mormons joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the Duggar finished, Michelle said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son,
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done."

"Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

The Duggar bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden trailer on the ground at Michelle's feet.
Michelle said, "Duggar, don't you even fret",
I done told you once, Man of My Dreams, I'm gonna marry you yet!"
And she played:

Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.
did you write this cause i want to share it and i wanna know who to give proper credit

M_Sinistrari
Sep 5, 2008

Do you like scary movies?





MAKE NO BABBYS posted:

They eat such garbage loving food, too. The earlier episodes/specials showed a lot of what they ate and it was allllll cheap pasta, frozen tater tots and Midwestern-style funeral casseroles. All empty, cheap carbs and cheap processed fats.

You didn't mention the infamous ice cream cake they went nuts over. http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/201...cream-cake.html

Boof Bonser
Jan 26, 2015

nvj is touched by your generosity!


Broenheim posted:

not only that but also the dad is the only one allowed to work

Also the low IQ thing kinda caps income potential

Bethamphetamine
Oct 29, 2012




College Slice

Boof Bonser posted:

Also the low IQ thing kinda caps income potential

Low IQ has never capped income potential. Connections and nepotism always trumps stupidity and laziness.

Krispy Wafer
Jul 26, 2002

I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat



Grimey Drawer

Do It Once Right posted:

This is harder to pin down, because the Duggars don't like to share the details of how much government welfare they rely on.

Google it, and you get worthless conservative rags like the WSJ and BusinessInsider telling you that they are Real American John Galts of family budgetry.
And some blogs with a (deserved) axe to grind against them telling you that they are monsters.

Local papers doing fluff pieces hint at how much they rely on charitable donations, but we don't have concrete information on how much government aid they use monthly. That's verboten to ask or share.

I can't imagine them getting any government aid. The family makes about 100k per episode and then there's Jim Bob's dealerships and book deals and an exclusive cover deal with People magazine.

What they do get are income tax credits other high earners have phased out of due to the sheer size of their family. They also probably hid assets behind their church. Like any money donated to them would have to be declared as income unless the check was made payable to the Church of Jimothy Roberts.

Maybe they relied on welfare early on, but using the year Jim Bob ran for Senate and Josh figured out girls don't pee out of their vaginas as our baseline, they'd have to had made less than 70k to be below the poverty line. That year, Jim Bob had a personal net worth of 250k.


Obligatory Toast posted:

They're not supposed to be getting government aid anyways, and I even wonder if they have insurance, because fertility treatments aren't loving cheap and neither are the consultations. And they've probably burned through most sensible fertility doctors in the state, considering Michelle has had a history of preeclampsia.

Wouldn't Duggar clients be awesome testimonials for a fertility clinic? You could hang banners in your office with the kids you helped convinced like High School championship pennants. They probably get their Clomid and semen centrifuged for free.

Medium Chungus
Feb 19, 2012


Bloody Hedgehog posted:

A fine piece of Americana



I hope wherever Charlie Daniels is, he feels a sudden disturbance in the force and immediately starts projectile vomiting Duggar semen.

Lazy_Liberal
Sep 17, 2005

These stones are precious


M_Sinistrari posted:

You didn't mention the infamous ice cream cake they went nuts over. http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/201...cream-cake.html

hahahhaahaha this "recipe" makes me feel like a goddamn pastry chef

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005



Jinger, Jana who can I turn to?
I'll give you something you can hold on to
I know you'll think I'm like the brothers before
I love you all but love some a little more

Girls, I've got you numbered
I'll make all of you mine
But my favorite sisters are
8, 6, 7, 5, 3 and niiii-iiiine

Decrepus
May 21, 2008

In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.


Lazy_Liberal posted:

hahahhaahaha this "recipe" makes me feel like a goddamn pastry chef

5 ingredients
4 product placements

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014




Ramrod XTreme

alot of those boys look like they got the gay in them

pretty sure the wizard sleeve has some sort of internal mechanism that fucks up biology after the 4th child as some evolutionary way to make peder puffers who will not mate and help with the children

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

Gotta nuke something


cams posted:

did you write this cause i want to share it and i wanna know who to give proper credit

Charlie Daniels get credit for the original composition of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia".

Now lets all enjoy this great animated short:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9uk9IcoQ0w

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS

WHY BE A FATCAT WHEN YOU CAN BE A SMOKERAT?

COOL ZONE HERO, ASK ME ABOUT MY LIVESTREAMS




"The children love it, and it's good for you," explains Michelle on Nina Frye's Living the Dream Mom radio show. "The beans and the chilli have the protein...the iron and fiber. Everybody likes it, and it's so fast."

"When you're in a hurry and you don't have anything planned, or if you've got a large number of people coming over, it's very inexpensive. We open up a giant can of the chili beans, throw in some ground beef that's already been cooked and seasoned...It's ready in fifteen minutes."

Chili Frito Pie

12 (15 oz) cans Mexican style chili beans
2 bags Fritos
4 c. shredded cheddar cheese
2 small containers sour cream
*Ground beef (optional)

Warm beans in large pot. Serve over Fritos with cheese and sour cream. Easy family favorite.

Say Nothing
Mar 4, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Decrepus posted:

5 ingredients
4 product placements

At least they didn't make bread.
Some weird things are in bread.

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.

Say Nothing posted:

At least they didn't make bread.
Some weird things are in bread.

Don't let Josh near the yeast.

ZDar Fan
Oct 15, 2012



Do It Once Right posted:

Google it, and you get worthless conservative rags like the WSJ and BusinessInsider telling you that they are Real American John Galts of family budgetry.

More like Real American John Galts of family buggery

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007
"If you put a hamburger in the toaster it'll say Happy Birthday."




It looks like besides tomorrow evenings interview, Friday is a one hour special

Mr Ice Cream Glove fucked around with this message at 05:26 on Jun 3, 2015

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008


Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

It looks like besides tomorrow evenings interview, Friday is a one hour special



I did not have sexual relations with that woman, my sister.

Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

you can call
but I seldom answer after all




Crusty Nutsack posted:

"The children love it, and it's good for you," explains Michelle on Nina Frye's Living the Dream Mom radio show. "The beans and the chilli have the protein...the iron and fiber. Everybody likes it, and it's so fast."

"When you're in a hurry and you don't have anything planned, or if you've got a large number of people coming over, it's very inexpensive. We open up a giant can of the chili beans, throw in some ground beef that's already been cooked and seasoned...It's ready in fifteen minutes."

Chili Frito Pie

12 (15 oz) cans Mexican style chili beans
2 bags Fritos
4 c. shredded cheddar cheese
2 small containers sour cream
*Ground beef (optional)

Warm beans in large pot. Serve over Fritos with cheese and sour cream. Easy family favorite.

Screw this, Hank Hill taught me the only acceptable frito pie features Wolf(c) brand chili

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot


What exactly did the Clintons do worse? Is this some kind of bizarre conspiracy poo poo like thinking they murdered Vince Foster or what

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



mdm posted:

What exactly did the Clintons do worse? Is this some kind of bizarre conspiracy poo poo like thinking they murdered Vince Foster or what
Well he did frame this guy named Wayne Dumond as a violent serial rapist, coincidentally he turned out to be a violent serial rapist. SLICK WILLY HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT WHO WILL CURB HIS EVIL LIBERAL BLOODLUST

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!


mdm posted:

What exactly did the Clintons do worse? Is this some kind of bizarre conspiracy poo poo like thinking they murdered Vince Foster or what

monica was bill's long-lost sister

platedlizard
Aug 31, 2012

I like plates and lizards.


mdm posted:

What exactly did the Clintons do worse? Is this some kind of bizarre conspiracy poo poo like thinking they murdered Vince Foster or what

There was a rape accusation when he was a governor that was never substantiated. Personally I'm of the opinion that he sticks his dick in crazy.

None of the women he's been with have been related to him, well, no more than average for Arkansas anyway

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


also the only moral molestation is MY molestation

ur in my world now
Jun 5, 2006

Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was




Smellrose

wow, they hosed up a frito pie. i didn't think that was possible

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UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑




The White Dragon posted:

monica was bill's long-lost sister

And also a toddler

  • Locked thread