Duggars: "Incest is Best"

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Duggars: "Incest is Best"

flerp: Feb 25, 2014

platedlizard posted:

Most quiverfull families are poor as poo poo because even on a decent salary it's really difficult to support a family of ten.

not only that but also the dad is the only one allowed to work

# ? Jun 3, 2015 01:47

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# ? Jan 25, 2025 06:15

Lord of Pie: Mar 2, 2007

Josh Bob is destined to succeed Got hard as cult leader

proof:

# ? Jun 3, 2015 01:50

Clochette: Aug 12, 2013

Jonny 290 posted:

wait i just realized that none of the girls are really overweight and i just remembered about michelle's eating disorder history and i just realized that a bunch of these girls probably have eating disorders too because it is EXTREMELY STATISTICALLY UNLIKELY that all of those girls have a bmi as low as they do

look at the guys. soon as they hit 18 they blow up into a weird pillsbury doughboy and all their hair falls out

Is it really that shocking that a patriarchal cult that's obsessed with sexuality would demand that its female members remain fuckable, while allowing the men to let themselves go?

# ? Jun 3, 2015 01:55

Obligatory Toast: Mar 19, 2007; What am I reading here??

Now the women are going to have to get perms and brazilians.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 01:55

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

The Duggar went down to Georgia, and He was lookin' for a girl to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young girl juss' lookin' for a man to serve.
And the Duggar jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Girl, I'm your perv."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a Quiverfuller, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.
Now you've got some nice permed hair, girl, but give the Duggar his due.
I'll put my pole within your hole 'cause I think I'm the master of you."

The girl said, "My name's Michelle, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the most pregnant there's ever been."

Michelle, rosin up your cunny and birth some little tards.
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Duggar likes it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny trailer made of gold,
But if you lose the Duggar gets your soul.

The Duggar opened up his fly and he said, "Lemme grab my log."
And fire flew from his dick as he rosined up his hog.
And he pushed the hog right in that snizz and it made an evil hiss.
And a band of Mormons joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the Duggar finished, Michelle said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son,
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done."

"Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

The Duggar bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden trailer on the ground at Michelle's feet.
Michelle said, "Duggar, don't you even fret",
I done told you once, Man of My Dreams, I'm gonna marry you yet!"
And she played:

Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 01:56

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

lol

# ? Jun 3, 2015 02:04

Regrettable: Jan 4, 2010

McStabby posted:

Olive Garden sounds too fancy for Jim Bob. Do they have Fazzolis in Arkansas?

Yes, they do.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 02:05

Bethamphetamine: Oct 29, 2012

SERPUS posted:

Source?

This is harder to pin down, because the Duggars don't like to share the details of how much government welfare they rely on.

Google it, and you get worthless conservative rags like the WSJ and BusinessInsider telling you that they are Real American John Galts of family budgetry.
And some blogs with a (deserved) axe to grind against them telling you that they are monsters.

Local papers doing fluff pieces hint at how much they rely on charitable donations, but we don't have concrete information on how much government aid they use monthly. That's verboten to ask or share.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 02:05

spacemang_spliff: Nov 29, 2014; wide pickle

Jonny 290 posted:

wait i just realized that none of the girls are really overweight and i just remembered about michelle's eating disorder history and i just realized that a bunch of these girls probably have eating disorders too because it is EXTREMELY STATISTICALLY UNLIKELY that all of those girls have a bmi as low as they do

look at the guys. soon as they hit 18 they blow up into a weird pillsbury doughboy and all their hair falls out

p unstable genes IMO

# ? Jun 3, 2015 02:10

Obligatory Toast: Mar 19, 2007; What am I reading here??

They're not supposed to be getting government aid anyways, and I even wonder if they have insurance, because fertility treatments aren't loving cheap and neither are the consultations. And they've probably burned through most sensible fertility doctors in the state, considering Michelle has had a history of preeclampsia.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 02:11

Captain von Trapp: Jan 22, 2006; I don't like it, and I'm sorry I ever had anything to do with it.

BrigadierSensible posted:

What do the Quiverfull/Gothardites think of guns? Are they packing heat?

Obviously, but in the south you might as well ask if they own a toaster oven. Everybody does, regardless of politics or religion.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 02:21

Kite Pride Worldwide: Apr 20, 2009

God was the greatest scam ever conceived by man.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 02:44

Astoundingly Ugly Baby: Mar 22, 2006; "...crying bitch cave bitch boy."
- Anonymous Facebook user

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Duggar went down to Georgia, and He was lookin' for a girl to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young girl juss' lookin' for a man to serve.
And the Duggar jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Girl, I'm your perv."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a Quiverfuller, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.
Now you've got some nice permed hair, girl, but give the Duggar his due.
I'll put my pole within your hole 'cause I think I'm the master of you."

The girl said, "My name's Michelle, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the most pregnant there's ever been."

Michelle, rosin up your cunny and birth some little tards.
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Duggar likes it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny trailer made of gold,
But if you lose the Duggar gets your soul.

The Duggar opened up his fly and he said, "Lemme grab my log."
And fire flew from his dick as he rosined up his hog.
And he pushed the hog right in that snizz and it made an evil hiss.
And a band of Mormons joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the Duggar finished, Michelle said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son,
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done."

"Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

The Duggar bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden trailer on the ground at Michelle's feet.
Michelle said, "Duggar, don't you even fret",
I done told you once, Man of My Dreams, I'm gonna marry you yet!"
And she played:

Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

Yesss

# ? Jun 3, 2015 02:48

meet girls at the store: Nov 4, 2002

BrigadierSensible posted:

What do the Quiverfull/Gothardites think of guns? Are they packing heat? There was something about a paramilitary training thingo that they send the boys to.

http://www.inquisitr.com/1934805/duggars-gun-children-5-year-old-josie-plays-near-unattended-gun-people-flip-on-duggars/

Do a quick GIS for "Duggars guns" and you'll see that they post pictures of themselves posing with guns all over social media.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 02:51

crazycarl: Jun 13, 2001; Welcome to TB Diddlers in Mokena.

Where the special is always Dr Rassmusin's Hot Beef Injection and you can play "Whers my Manometer" with other diners

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Duggar went down to Georgia, and He was lookin' for a girl to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young girl juss' lookin' for a man to serve.
And the Duggar jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Girl, I'm your perv."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a Quiverfuller, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.
Now you've got some nice permed hair, girl, but give the Duggar his due.
I'll put my pole within your hole 'cause I think I'm the master of you."

The girl said, "My name's Michelle, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the most pregnant there's ever been."

Michelle, rosin up your cunny and birth some little tards.
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Duggar likes it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny trailer made of gold,
But if you lose the Duggar gets your soul.

The Duggar opened up his fly and he said, "Lemme grab my log."
And fire flew from his dick as he rosined up his hog.
And he pushed the hog right in that snizz and it made an evil hiss.
And a band of Mormons joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the Duggar finished, Michelle said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son,
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done."

"Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

The Duggar bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden trailer on the ground at Michelle's feet.
Michelle said, "Duggar, don't you even fret",
I done told you once, Man of My Dreams, I'm gonna marry you yet!"
And she played:

Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

We've hit the pinnacle of this thread here. :banjo:

# ? Jun 3, 2015 03:17

cams: Mar 28, 2003

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Duggar went down to Georgia, and He was lookin' for a girl to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal
When he came across this young girl juss' lookin' for a man to serve.
And the Duggar jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Girl, I'm your perv."

"I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a Quiverfuller, too.
And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.
Now you've got some nice permed hair, girl, but give the Duggar his due.
I'll put my pole within your hole 'cause I think I'm the master of you."

The girl said, "My name's Michelle, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet; and you're gonna regret 'cause I'm the most pregnant there's ever been."

Michelle, rosin up your cunny and birth some little tards.
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Georgia and the Duggar likes it hard.
And if you win you get this shiny trailer made of gold,
But if you lose the Duggar gets your soul.

The Duggar opened up his fly and he said, "Lemme grab my log."
And fire flew from his dick as he rosined up his hog.
And he pushed the hog right in that snizz and it made an evil hiss.
And a band of Mormons joined in and it sounded something like this.

When the Duggar finished, Michelle said, "Well, you're pretty good ol' son,
But sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done."

"Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

The Duggar bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid that golden trailer on the ground at Michelle's feet.
Michelle said, "Duggar, don't you even fret",
I done told you once, Man of My Dreams, I'm gonna marry you yet!"
And she played:

Quiverfull of chillins'." Run, boys, run!
The Duggars in the house of the Pillsbury Buns;
Chicken's in the bread pan picking out dough.
Huckabee, does your dog bite? No, child, no.

did you write this cause i want to share it and i wanna know who to give proper credit

# ? Jun 3, 2015 03:19

M_Sinistrari: Sep 5, 2008; Do you like scary movies?

MAKE NO BABBYS posted:

They eat such garbage loving food, too. The earlier episodes/specials showed a lot of what they ate and it was allllll cheap pasta, frozen tater tots and Midwestern-style funeral casseroles. All empty, cheap carbs and cheap processed fats.

You didn't mention the infamous ice cream cake they went nuts over. http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2010/08/world-famous-duggar-ice-cream-cake.html

# ? Jun 3, 2015 03:37

Boof Bonser: Jan 26, 2015; nvj is touched by your generosity!

Broenheim posted:

not only that but also the dad is the only one allowed to work

Also the low IQ thing kinda caps income potential

# ? Jun 3, 2015 03:39

Bethamphetamine: Oct 29, 2012

Boof Bonser posted:

Also the low IQ thing kinda caps income potential

Low IQ has never capped income potential. Connections and nepotism always trumps stupidity and laziness.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 03:42

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

Do It Once Right posted:

This is harder to pin down, because the Duggars don't like to share the details of how much government welfare they rely on.

Google it, and you get worthless conservative rags like the WSJ and BusinessInsider telling you that they are Real American John Galts of family budgetry.
And some blogs with a (deserved) axe to grind against them telling you that they are monsters.

Local papers doing fluff pieces hint at how much they rely on charitable donations, but we don't have concrete information on how much government aid they use monthly. That's verboten to ask or share.

I can't imagine them getting any government aid. The family makes about 100k per episode and then there's Jim Bob's dealerships and book deals and an exclusive cover deal with People magazine.

What they do get are income tax credits other high earners have phased out of due to the sheer size of their family. They also probably hid assets behind their church. Like any money donated to them would have to be declared as income unless the check was made payable to the Church of Jimothy Roberts.

Maybe they relied on welfare early on, but using the year Jim Bob ran for Senate and Josh figured out girls don't pee out of their vaginas as our baseline, they'd have to had made less than 70k to be below the poverty line. That year, Jim Bob had a personal net worth of 250k.

Obligatory Toast posted:

They're not supposed to be getting government aid anyways, and I even wonder if they have insurance, because fertility treatments aren't loving cheap and neither are the consultations. And they've probably burned through most sensible fertility doctors in the state, considering Michelle has had a history of preeclampsia.

Wouldn't Duggar clients be awesome testimonials for a fertility clinic? You could hang banners in your office with the kids you helped convinced like High School championship pennants. They probably get their Clomid and semen centrifuged for free.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 03:43

Medium Chungus: Feb 19, 2012

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

A fine piece of Americana

I hope wherever Charlie Daniels is, he feels a sudden disturbance in the force and immediately starts projectile vomiting Duggar semen.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 03:55

Lazy_Liberal: Sep 17, 2005; These stones are precious

M_Sinistrari posted:

You didn't mention the infamous ice cream cake they went nuts over. http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2010/08/world-famous-duggar-ice-cream-cake.html

hahahhaahaha this "recipe" makes me feel like a goddamn pastry chef

# ? Jun 3, 2015 03:58

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Jinger, Jana who can I turn to?
I'll give you something you can hold on to
I know you'll think I'm like the brothers before
I love you all but love some a little more

Girls, I've got you numbered
I'll make all of you mine
But my favorite sisters are
8, 6, 7, 5, 3 and niiii-iiiine

# ? Jun 3, 2015 04:09

Decrepus: May 21, 2008; In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.

Lazy_Liberal posted:

hahahhaahaha this "recipe" makes me feel like a goddamn pastry chef

5 ingredients
4 product placements

# ? Jun 3, 2015 04:12

Top City Homo: Oct 15, 2014; Ramrod XTreme

alot of those boys look like they got the gay in them

pretty sure the wizard sleeve has some sort of internal mechanism that fucks up biology after the 4th child as some evolutionary way to make peder puffers who will not mate and help with the children

# ? Jun 3, 2015 04:16

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

cams posted:

did you write this cause i want to share it and i wanna know who to give proper credit

Charlie Daniels get credit for the original composition of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia".

Now lets all enjoy this great animated short:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9uk9IcoQ0w

# ? Jun 3, 2015 04:23

Crusty Nutsack: Apr 21, 2005; SUCK LASER, COPPERS

"The children love it, and it's good for you," explains Michelle on Nina Frye's Living the Dream Mom radio show. "The beans and the chilli have the protein...the iron and fiber. Everybody likes it, and it's so fast."

"When you're in a hurry and you don't have anything planned, or if you've got a large number of people coming over, it's very inexpensive. We open up a giant can of the chili beans, throw in some ground beef that's already been cooked and seasoned...It's ready in fifteen minutes."

Chili Frito Pie

12 (15 oz) cans Mexican style chili beans
2 bags Fritos�
4 c. shredded cheddar cheese
2 small containers sour cream
*Ground beef (optional)

Warm beans in large pot. Serve over Fritos� with cheese and sour cream. Easy family favorite.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 04:28

Say Nothing: Mar 4, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Decrepus posted:

5 ingredients
4 product placements

At least they didn't make bread.
Some weird things are in bread.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 04:42

Toadvine: Mar 16, 2009; Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.

Say Nothing posted:

At least they didn't make bread.
Some weird things are in bread.

Don't let Josh near the yeast.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 04:47

ZDar Fan: Oct 15, 2012

Do It Once Right posted:

Google it, and you get worthless conservative rags like the WSJ and BusinessInsider telling you that they are Real American John Galts of family budgetry.

More like Real American John Galts of family buggery

# ? Jun 3, 2015 04:47

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

It looks like besides tomorrow evenings interview, Friday is a one hour special

Mr Ice Cream Glove fucked around with this message at 05:26 on Jun 3, 2015

# ? Jun 3, 2015 05:19

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

It looks like besides tomorrow evenings interview, Friday is a one hour special

I did not have sexual relations with that woman, my sister.

# ? Jun 3, 2015 05:33

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

Crusty Nutsack posted:

"The children love it, and it's good for you," explains Michelle on Nina Frye's Living the Dream Mom radio show. "The beans and the chilli have the protein...the iron and fiber. Everybody likes it, and it's so fast."

"When you're in a hurry and you don't have anything planned, or if you've got a large number of people coming over, it's very inexpensive. We open up a giant can of the chili beans, throw in some ground beef that's already been cooked and seasoned...It's ready in fifteen minutes."

Chili Frito Pie

12 (15 oz) cans Mexican style chili beans
2 bags Fritos�
4 c. shredded cheddar cheese
2 small containers sour cream
*Ground beef (optional)

Warm beans in large pot. Serve over Fritos� with cheese and sour cream. Easy family favorite.

Screw this, Hank Hill taught me the only acceptable frito pie features Wolf(c) brand chili

# ? Jun 3, 2015 05:44

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

What exactly did the Clintons do worse? Is this some kind of bizarre conspiracy poo poo like thinking they murdered Vince Foster or what

# ? Jun 3, 2015 05:49

Casimir Radon: Aug 1, 2008

mdm posted:

What exactly did the Clintons do worse? Is this some kind of bizarre conspiracy poo poo like thinking they murdered Vince Foster or what

Well he did frame this guy named Wayne Dumond as a violent serial rapist, coincidentally he turned out to be a violent serial rapist. SLICK WILLY HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING THAT WHO WILL CURB HIS EVIL LIBERAL BLOODLUST

# ? Jun 3, 2015 06:03

Fur20: Nov 14, 2007; すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

mdm posted:

What exactly did the Clintons do worse? Is this some kind of bizarre conspiracy poo poo like thinking they murdered Vince Foster or what

monica was bill's long-lost sister

# ? Jun 3, 2015 06:08

platedlizard: Aug 31, 2012; I like plates and lizards.

mdm posted:

What exactly did the Clintons do worse? Is this some kind of bizarre conspiracy poo poo like thinking they murdered Vince Foster or what

There was a rape accusation when he was a governor that was never substantiated. Personally I'm of the opinion that he sticks his dick in crazy.

None of the women he's been with have been related to him, well, no more than average for Arkansas anyway

# ? Jun 3, 2015 06:48