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FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
Happy 4th of July, everyone! Time to celebrate America by competing in a gluttony contest!

WHAT: This is a place to talk about the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. The women's event is going on right now on ESPN3 if you're interested. The Men's event starts coverage on ESPN2 at noon EST, though the eating won't start until around 12:30 or so.
WHO: Takeru Kobayashi, the only man to eat > 60 hot dogs that's not Joey Chestnut, is still banned. So really there are only 2 competitors worth watching:


Joey Chestnut: The reigning champ, Chestnut has won the contest 8 straight years and likely will make today his 9th. Holds the world record for hot dogs, which is, of course, 69. He is by far the most dominant competitive eater, and really the only way he loses is if he underperforms and comes back to the pack. Chestnut on a bad day might be slightly worse than his top competitor on a great day.

Why might he have a bad day? Perhaps he'll remember that last year, he proposed to his girlfriend on July 4, but that they later split up and didn't get married. If those demons come back to haunt him, maybe he'll have a rough go of it. Or maybe his age will catch up with him as he's likely on the precipice of his decline phase. Here, read this (no seriously; I need the PVs)


Matt "The Megatoad" Stonie: Stonie was ahead of Chestnut in last year's contest well into the back half, but then he faded and Chestnut won, 61-56. Stonie is Chestnut's chief competition in most Major League Eating events, and consistently puts up very strong numbers that would make him #1 if not for the juggernaut that is Chestnut. He still rates as an underdog (ha ha), but if anyone's going to beat Chestnut, it's Stonie.

WHEN: Noon EST on ESPN2 if you don't want to miss the introductions (and you don't; they're hilarious). 12:30 otherwise.

WHERE: Coney Island. Apparently it's a tough to find ticket nowadays.

WHY: Because watching competitive eating is a great self-esteem booster. And because Chestnut is a freak of nature that's really really good at this completely absurd skillset.

HOW: I'll never miss a chance to link this gross ESPN Sport Science clip!

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whatis
Jun 6, 2012
how do you get banned from hot dog eating contests

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

whatis posted:

how do you get banned from hot dog eating contests

Kobayashi's not banned from hot dog eating contests, he's banned from the Nathan's contest because it's an MLE event and he's banned from MLE.

Kobayashi had a contract dispute (basically, he wanted endorsement money for being the best, and didn't want to give MLE a cut. So MLE told him to gently caress off) and hasn't competed in MLE for most of the decade. Which doesn't ban him from hot dog contests, just the one that everyone watches. In recent years, Kobayashi has eaten a bunch of "Kobi Dogs" (and no idea what the caloric conversion rate is between a Nathan's dog and a Kobi dog) concurrent to the contest, pretending as if he's actually competing.

He also ate a bunch of Domino's Pizza a couple months back in some Terminix-sponsored event. Basically, if you're a skilled eater that can't compete under the MLE umbrella, you're boned. He's still probably the most famous competitive eater, but he's not making anywhere near what he could in MLE.

Ice To Meet You
Mar 4, 2007

Reduced to eating Domino's pizza... man, that's rough.

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

They even have a choir this year

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

"Sweeping the nation like a brand new broom"

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.
This is on up against Wimbledon. Not even close.

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

Moneyball posted:

This is on up against Wimbledon. Not even close.
Agreed, I feel bad for tennis

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

The David Blaine of the Bowel

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.
This announcer is incredible "He broke up with his girlfriend and euthanized his dog, leaving a void to fill with hot dogs."

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001

Moneyball posted:

This announcer is incredible "He broke up with his girlfriend and euthanized his dog, leaving a void to fill with hot dogs."

George Shea is the best asset MLE has. Dude's hilarious.

sportsgenius86
Jun 17, 2008

Oh my god

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
Mods, Please make the background music to this thread the Badlands Booker Rap, tia

Mukaikubo
Mar 14, 2006

"You treat her like a lady... and she'll always bring you home."

FairGame posted:

George Shea is the best asset MLE has. Dude's hilarious.

That rap made me a better human being

edit: gently caress YEAH MEGATOAD

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
Eater X shouldn't be in the same intro with Stonie and Chestnut. Guy's awful and doesn't even have a good gimmick.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
Last year Chestnut was brought in on a sedan chair. This is a disappointing intro.

Mukaikubo
Mar 14, 2006

"You treat her like a lady... and she'll always bring you home."

FairGame posted:

Last year Chestnut was brought in on a sedan chair. This is a disappointing intro.

Appropriate music, though, I can't help but think there are better choices but that was a good one.

Booker stole the intro show.

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.
There needs to be a chestnut eating contest and hopefully Megatoad can win that.

Eltoasto
Aug 26, 2002

We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.



Oh my god that farmersonly.com commercial

KnoxZone
Jan 26, 2007

If I die before I Wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.
Alright, let's do this.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
Chestnut always looks like he's in agony

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
Reminder that in previous years it's been roughly a 60/40 split between hot dogs eaten in the first 5 and last 5, so a record pace would need to be around 40 hot dogs in the first 5 minutes.

Ice To Meet You
Mar 4, 2007

GO OJI

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs
Takeru is a bitch boy. Let's go Joey

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
What do you think Badlands is listening to on those headphones?

sportsgenius86
Jun 17, 2008

The Grand Master Flash of Corned Beef Hash

Ice To Meet You
Mar 4, 2007

FairGame posted:

What do you think Badlands is listening to on those headphones?

If it's not his own theme song on loop, then I disown him forever

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
This is gonna end like 59-57. Chestnut has come back to the pack.

The 7th Guest
Dec 17, 2003

The two most important people in this are George Shea and the color commentator dropping Rambo II and Panera Bread

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

He's gonna go back to hitting on girls in Panera Bread after this.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
Stonie's gonna win this with some pedestrian total.

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
I'm glad the announcers recognize how absurd this is and are talking about Rambo II

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky
UPSET

sportsgenius86
Jun 17, 2008

The Jordan Spieth of tubed beef

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs
STONIE!!!

KnoxZone
Jan 26, 2007

If I die before I Wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.
The end of a dynasty.

A Man and his dog
Oct 24, 2013

by R. Guyovich
Stonie!!!!!!!

FairGame
Jul 24, 2001
IT HAPPENED

Moneyball
Jul 11, 2005

It's a problem you think we need to explain ourselves.
This a legendary day in sports history. 2004 Red Sox? Please.

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sportsgenius86
Jun 17, 2008

THE BOSS HOGG OF BEEF LOGS

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