Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:

I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





I got horse flyed last night and my hand has swollen up. Not quite to comedy levels but here's.hoping

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Natalie Fartman
Apr 5, 2013

I selflessly rescued an abandoned cat during the COVID-19 Pandemic :3:



I have no love for any reality TV, it's just not my thing.

E:ratty, be well! If it swells up comically large pls post pics

Natalie Fartman fucked around with this message at 08:39 on Aug 6, 2020

Solefald
Jun 9, 2010

すう すう




It feels good to learn to appreciate new things out of your comfort zone. Makes life a bit more fun and exciting for me.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010






Salad Prong

Ratjaculation posted:

I got horse flyed last night and my hand has swollen up. Not quite to comedy levels but here's.hoping

horse flies are loving gross as gently caress. i hate them.

Fingerless Gloves
May 21, 2011

... aaand also go away and don't come back


The only reality tv I've watched recently was that one where they race through south america which had potential but just turned into 'wow I'm so glad we had an opportunity to do this, here are our interpersonal struggles, look how poor these people are in south america, good thing British people dont have it this bad' when it should be wacky fun with the ability to hinder competitor trips by stealing their passports and planting baggies of talc on their person

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010






Salad Prong

Fingerless Gloves posted:

The only reality tv I've watched recently was that one where they race through south america which had potential but just turned into 'wow I'm so glad we had an opportunity to do this, here are our interpersonal struggles, look how poor these people are in south america, good thing British people dont have it this bad' when it should be wacky fun with the ability to hinder competitor trips by stealing their passports and planting baggies of talc on their person

i kinda assumed it was fake as hell because anyone doing it would just be sitting on a coach/train 99% off the time . also you'd have to be followed by camera crew/medical crew/tv producers etc so there's zero way anything happened spontaneously.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:

I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





Hey hemale, was it you that was planning a Dartmoor bike trip?

They've banned wild camping across the national park for this month, potentially beyond, and have emergency powers to enforce it

fridge corn
Apr 2, 2003




I think that's the thing that fucks me off the most about reality tv is the fact that there is nothing real about it and just offscreen are hundreds of crew, cameras, equipment and what you're actually seeing has been heavily edited to fit whatever narrative the producers are aiming for. It's just like any other tv show except the writing and acting is abysmal

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010






Salad Prong

Ratjaculation posted:

Hey hemale, was it you that was planning a Dartmoor bike trip?

They've banned wild camping across the national park for this month, potentially beyond, and have emergency powers to enforce it

I've already done it!! the authorities are too late!

e: googling it, it's only banned in some areas where the idiots like to gather in big groups, start fires and poo poo everywhere. it's not really even wild camping but more like morons treating the place like a festival ground and making GBS threads everything up.

hemale in pain fucked around with this message at 09:46 on Aug 6, 2020

el dingo
Mar 19, 2009



Haha fuuuuuck me, I just called up the eu settlement scheme resolution centre.

I applied back in February, got the letter with my case number etc and a timeframe of 5 days, a month at most. Takes longer if something is wrong, they need more info etc. So I call up, give my info and ask why its 6 months and I've heard nothing. I get told not to really pay much attention to those times (yknow, the times given on the gov.uk website) they're busy. Is there anything wrong with my application? More info needed? No, they just havent done it yet. They'll be in touch!

I thought it would be a doddle as I've had my biometric EEA card for a few years, still valid etc but nope. Shoulda known better really

Fingerless Gloves
May 21, 2011

... aaand also go away and don't come back


hemale in pain posted:

i kinda assumed it was fake as hell because anyone doing it would just be sitting on a coach/train 99% off the time . also you'd have to be followed by camera crew/medical crew/tv producers etc so there's zero way anything happened spontaneously.

Definately.

'We have to race across the country!'
'Oh but this is where El Chapo did a bunch of stuff'
'ok lets go there for the day but then we gotta be FAST'

Just complete the race, fuckers. The fact that the people who won the leg of whatever they were on get a headstart on the next one but never come first even with the head start is the worst poo poo.

I'm not allowed to watch reality tv with my housemate anymore which suits me perfectly.

Also the best reality tv show was The Murder Game. A team of people went into a staged town and had to investigate a murder, then were graded by detectives on how they did and the two worst go on a ghost train ride with one of them getting murdered at the end

Solefald
Jun 9, 2010

すう すう




The best show was the one where people had to run really fast and got chased down by dogs lmfao

Natalie Fartman
Apr 5, 2013

I selflessly rescued an abandoned cat during the COVID-19 Pandemic :3:



Best reality TV was The Crystal Maze

Also OG Robot Wars

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003




hemale in pain posted:

I've already done it!! the authorities are too late!

the dartmoor ponies have your scent now...

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:

I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





hemale in pain posted:

I've already done it!! the authorities are too late!

e: googling it, it's only banned in some areas where the idiots like to gather in big groups, start fires and poo poo everywhere. it's not really even wild camping but more like morons treating the place like a festival ground and making GBS threads everything up.

that happened every week when I worked there in my Nature Conservation* role
*and picker upper of peoples rubbish

I spent years becoming a Ranger and then Dartmoor put me off it because it was so much people management.

I wouldn't mind so much if we were only invited to the raves, ya feel.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.




Grimey Drawer

Almost all TV is bad.

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






Hoo boy, a tl;dr about fuckin Love Island but, I mean, god forbid I actually do my job amirite?

fridge corn posted:

By their very nature, the sort of person who would willingly subject themselves to appearing on reality television is a vapid husk of a human being. They are the same people who love to ask and be asked the question "what would you do if you won the lottery?" and I cant think of anything less interesting than that

From my extensive binge-watching experience in Love Island, there are different motivations for the "islanders" which can be summed as:

1-)Random blue/white collar young people looking for their 15 minutes of fame: You can literally walk into a random pub in Essex and find at least 10 of these fake tanned idiots who don't know what Brexit is and claim that moon landing was a hoax.

2-) Z-list celebs (Instagram influencers etc.) and athletes: Trying to score a deal from the sponsors like "I Saw it First" or in some cases a spot on tv shows that no one would remember next weekend (the Irish girl with one catchphrase which I can only describe saying "Ah you johken mea?" has a dumb reality tv show on it I think).

This is basically striking gold for any Instagram / IRL model as their following straight up skyrockets to million follower levels if they are somewhat popular. I think Molly from the last season got a six-figure modeling deal from ISIF and god knows she must be raking it from sponsorships. Producers love these models as they enter the villa later and have like clearly better looking than the people in the first category, which usually ends up in prime drama.

3-) People related to "celebrities": They are also in for their 15-minute fame bu already have some sort of following. Like Tommy Fury (half-brother of Tyson Fury) which claimed that he was going to be a world champ but spends 8 weeks in the villa to laze around and hit on girls awkwardly and brag about how he doesn't know how to cook because his mom cooks every single meal for him.

4-) Posh boys/girls that are inexplicably there: I mean, this is one of the takes from Love Island that you might have money but by god fame is something else. There was this guy in season, uh, 5 I think that turned out to be a heir to some East India Company-esque trading company with like 400 million pounds to his family or some poo poo. Our theory was that particular contestant was just trying to prove that he can score girls without flashing his spice galleon profits but he ended up saying that anyway.

You'd think that Reginald Thaddeus III Esq. wouldn't be craving for instagram followers or hookup with a club promoter from East London but here we are.

5-) SlamChads craving for some exposure while proving how Alpha they are: These are usually tattooed douchebags simply jump from one girl to another on drop of a hat to prove that "I can get any bird in here, bruv". Incidentally, they are probably one of the main source of drama and viewers.

Why do I watch this thrash?

Initially it was a good distraction from the hectic back and forth bureaucracy of immigration (I learned about the sucides of contestant and Caroline Flack much later). It almost feels like super-meta commentary about how prejudiced a viewer can be as I had initial assumptions about certain contestants and given time how I felt shameful about coming to conclusions. The editing really changes how you perceive someone and the best tangent I can think of is WWE and Survivor.

The challenges are most of the time straight up designed to stir up poo poo and sometimes downright cruel (forcing people to physically contact with people they broke up with, sending people in committed relationships on dates with newcomers etc.) but I guess it's all a script somewhere.

The early seasons, especially the first one feels more real because it wasn't a perfect formulated series of clips instead bunch of chavs smoking cigarettes and saying things like "I mean, once my dick is up, there is no turning back bruv" (Yikes).

What I most enjoy is, some smug rear end in a top hat getting turned down by the whole villa and progressively expose how loving insecure they are. The top drama is the early 20 episodes where they keep sending increasingly hot people into the fray, usually the last 10 episodes are sappy couple dates and some intentionally vile stuff like asking loaded questions like "Do you think you have a future with her outside?" on lie detector (which I imagine not an actual one but simply an intern pushing a button to simply cause drama).

Also everyone in the show being exceptionally fit and generally hot helps. Gf declared that she is getting more enjoyment watching girls in bikinis more than chads shave their chests so there's that. It just runs in the background when we have a break from work or playing mobile games on my phone but by god I was religiously watching new episodes at 9 p.m on Feb.

Well, Aberdeen is back to lockdown I guess, too.

Galewolf fucked around with this message at 13:18 on Aug 6, 2020

Escobarbarian
Jun 18, 2004





Grimey Drawer

the only good reality TV moments are bits like that geordie shore clip where the woman thinks her bfs gonna propose but instead he suggests they try anal for the first time

Salisbury Snape
May 26, 2014
While a grain platform can be used for corn, a specialized corn head is ordinarily used instead.



Natalie Fartman posted:

Best reality TV was The Crystal Maze

Also OG Robot Wars

OG Robot Wars was legit, best part of the weeks tv

Escobarbarian
Jun 18, 2004





Grimey Drawer

the new seasons were pretty good too even if Im totally sick of Dara

Natalie Fartman
Apr 5, 2013

I selflessly rescued an abandoned cat during the COVID-19 Pandemic :3:



Really early on in the reality TV boom in 2000, the BBC did a year long experiment called Castaway on which they put a group of 30 some people on a remote island in Scotland to be a more or less self-sufficient community. The cast filmed themselves and there were no prizes, it was just 'can these people band together and be a community if they are forced to'

The answer was lol no

It was also pretty cool and I miss that kind of reality TV because I'm boring and unfun like that

e: oh, and there was also a thing not too long ago where people went into their own completely self isolated shipping container and had to be shut off from the outside world for a week, no clocks, no concept of day/night, just them and a few items they bought along. Most people didn't manage it, except this one girl who basically flourished, bought art materials with her and was all 'yeah I liked not being able to be contacted by everyone it was nice'

Bascially I like actual social experiments and not tattooed louts trying to make out with every girl and people on TV who are just plastic as gently caress

Natalie Fartman fucked around with this message at 13:59 on Aug 6, 2020

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:



I just generally dislike people so reality TV feels like self-inflicted torture.

Natalie Fartman
Apr 5, 2013

I selflessly rescued an abandoned cat during the COVID-19 Pandemic :3:



Nevermind that,

I just got a letter from the vet saying it'll cost 3000 to fix Tuna's ear.

She has horners syndrome, and a polyp in her middle ear. It needs fixing because it'll only cause more problems, and I can't insure against the cost.


gods kitty, its a good thing I love you.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.




Grimey Drawer

That's a pricey cat op.

You can probably get a surgery kit on Ali express for about £20 and find a guide video on YouTube.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010






Salad Prong

Ratjaculation posted:

that happened every week when I worked there in my Nature Conservation* role
*and picker upper of peoples rubbish

I spent years becoming a Ranger and then Dartmoor put me off it because it was so much people management.

I wouldn't mind so much if we were only invited to the raves, ya feel.

if it helps ive never intentionally littered. though i lost a bottle of lucozade once which came off my bar bag somewhere :( i was really looking forward to that lucozade

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






Natalie Fartman posted:

Nevermind that,

I just got a letter from the vet saying it'll cost 3000 to fix Tuna's ear.

She has horners syndrome, and a polyp in her middle ear. It needs fixing because it'll only cause more problems, and I can't insure against the cost.


gods kitty, its a good thing I love you.

I spread the word around a little bit both London friends and in the Turkish white-collar community in case we can get some additional opinion about the price of that surgery and I'll let you know if something concrete comes but in the meantime I think you should definitely ask other vets about the cost of procedure.

Tuna :smith:

Bobby Deluxe
May 9, 2004

this changes nothing, i am still dead inside

i dont care if its secretly deep love island is idiocy for idiots

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010






Salad Prong

a month ago we had 500 daily coronavirus cases and now we're on 950

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






Bobby Deluxe posted:

i dont care if its secretly deep love island is idiocy for idiots

It probably isn't, neither it claims to be but it's more of a "Are we the actual dumb people watching this mind poison?" revelation, more than anything.

Solefald
Jun 9, 2010

すう すう




I like Galewolf, I think they're deffo my fav new poster at the moment :3:

NotJustANumber99
Feb 15, 2012



I only watch love island through Gogglebox for an added layer of abstraction

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






Solefald posted:

I like Galewolf, I think they're deffo my fav new poster at the moment :3:

Why, thank you fellow UKlandia thread poster friend :shobon:

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.




Grimey Drawer

Gogglebox is a clear sign of a civilisation in decline.

kecske
Feb 28, 2011

it's round, like always



does anyone have some kind of 101 primer for how to play dungeons and dragons, I've been invited to a game on saturday and I've never played before and I dont want nerds to tut and sigh at my goblin faux pas

killerwhat
May 13, 2010


Read all of Order of the Stick beforehand

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:

I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER





Solefald posted:

I like Galewolf, I think they're deffo my fav new poster at the moment :3:

what the

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






kecske posted:

does anyone have some kind of 101 primer for how to play dungeons and dragons, I've been invited to a game on saturday and I've never played before and I dont want nerds to tut and sigh at my goblin faux pas

Uh, try to enjoy yourself and don't think too hard about it. The D&D got some heavy exposure because now attractive and famous people are playing it on the screen so the "content" kinda exploded all over the place, which might feel like daunting.

In short, D&D is pretty much you and your mates in the playground telling each other stories about how Voltron totally will beat Megazord.

When I was playing tabletop back in the 90's, newbies were wrapped in cotton and cradled because one more player meant one more potential DM because it was pretty rare and you'd be quickly unpopular if you were outed as nerd in other social environments. Nowadays I expect things being pretty much the same, D&D games are usually safe spaces where new players actually bring some fresh air from metagaming nerdlords stacking prestige classes on top of each other for MAXIMUM DAMAGE.

I think current edition (5th) is pretty streamlined and new player friendly, but if you absolutely need an advice here you go:

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.




Grimey Drawer

How it works is largely dependent on the group and the game. Sometimes the DM is running a fairly tightly scripted story and you're playing inside the structures and restrictions of the storyline and rules, other times nobody has any real plan and you can freeform things that fall considerably outside the handbook and setting.

Read the room, don't feel like you have to impress anybody with sparkling wit and mastermind solutions. If it's not fun, don't assume the problem is you.

Party Boat
Oct 31, 2007

where did that other dog come from

who is he



kecske posted:

does anyone have some kind of 101 primer for how to play dungeons and dragons, I've been invited to a game on saturday and I've never played before and I dont want nerds to tut and sigh at my goblin faux pas

how is your beard / hair situation op

Do you have a character rolled up yet? I've yet to find a character sheet that's not just a huge list of numbers so it's a good idea to make yourself a cheat sheet for the most frequent things you'll be doing so that you're not paralysed by choice on your turn

On a related note, try to figure out beforehand what your character's better than anyone else at. A good DM will try to set up scenarios that let you show off your abilities

Know what dice you need, most characters don't use all of them but the most important one is the d20. If you're doing just about anything that has a chance of failure the DM is probably going to ask you to roll a d20 and add something, so even if you don't entirely know what you're going to do it's a good idea to have your d20 to hand

Ask the DM for the full name of every person you meet, they love when you do that

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Galewolf
Jan 9, 2007






If a DM makes a hidden dice roll (I never use DM screens propped up, just as reference cards) , expect to fail that check.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply