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Xaerael
Aug 25, 2010

Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.



Pope Corky the IX posted:

So who is the upsettingly fat dude that can't do anything with his arms other than rest them on his stomach?

That's High Star Citizen Pope Lesnick, founder of the Church of Christ Roberts who's grace returnethed Lesnick's sight from diabetic blindness so he could read the next thrilling installment of the Wing Commander novel franchise.

Only part of that is a joke, you decide which.

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CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW



Dinosaur Gum

Here are some procedurally generated space cats I commissioned Ryan Archer to draw (not bad cats, these are good cats)

Giant watercolour space cat


Space cat not looking at Earth, because that was where Star Citizen was made, and Star Citizen sucks. Cats cannot look at bad things.


Kawaii as gently caress space cat with kawaii space fish and kawaii space yarn


Another artsy watercolour space cat. This must be a series

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003







Fallen Rib

If this ELE doesn't happen as advertised Derek will have proven that he can beat Chris in even the one thing Chris is best at: overpromising and underdelivering.

SpunkyRedKnight
Oct 12, 2000


I guess if you don't play any games other than Star Citizen and Wing Commander, then yeah, PC gaming is dead. It all makes sense now.

Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.



AP posted:

Apologies I lose track sometimes of who's actually serious or not.


i'm the steam(?) coming out of the gun a second after it's fired

Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.



SpunkyRedKnight posted:

I guess if you don't play any games other than Star Citizen and Wing Commander, then yeah, PC gaming is dead. It all makes sense now.
there have literally been no pc games since 1999 or whenever prophecy was

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW



Dinosaur Gum

Ash1138 posted:

i'm the steam(?) coming out of the gun a second after it's fired

Everything is steam-powered in the retro-future now. Maybe Chris should promise steampunk elements? It's a big thing among terrible nerds with bad taste.

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are yew looking at?

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Ben Lesnick? He makes me feel sad :(

Xaerael posted:

That's High Star Citizen Pope Lesnick, founder of the Church of Christ Roberts who's grace returnethed Lesnick's sight from diabetic blindness so he could read the next thrilling installment of the Wing Commander novel franchise.

Only part of that is a joke, you decide which.

Thanks!

SpunkyRedKnight
Oct 12, 2000


Ash1138 posted:

i'm the steam(?) coming out of the gun a second after it's fired

That's just a barrel paaarp. Working as intended.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015







CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Everything is steam-powered in the retro-future now. Maybe Chris should promise steampunk elements? It's a big thing among terrible nerds with bad taste.

How can you not see the obvious?


Clearly that commando is having a sick post-kill vape.

Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.



CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Everything is steam-powered in the retro-future now. Maybe Chris should promise steampunk elements? It's a big thing among terrible nerds with bad taste.
look i stuck some copper tubing to this flintlock pistol it's steampunk now

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015







LuiCypher
Apr 24, 2010


kikkelivelho posted:

Dark souls doesn't have pilotable starships or 14 player multiplayer

Given the amount of griefing that you can do in Dark Souls, the one thing it really doesn't have on Star Citizen is Captain B'Tak.

IronicDongz
Aug 18, 2013

there he goes

Paramemetic posted:

If this ELE doesn't happen as advertised Derek will have proven that he can beat Chris in even the one thing Chris is best at: overpromising and underdelivering.
I mean it was like a week ago or something when he said that in 3 days 9 higher ups would publically leave and that didn't happen so like,

Dementropy
Aug 23, 2010





CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Everything is steam-powered in the retro-future now. Maybe Chris should promise steampunk elements? It's a big thing among terrible nerds with bad taste.

Procedural goggles

redwalrus
Jul 26, 2013

:stoke:


Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008



Scratchmo

IronicDongz posted:

I mean it was like a week ago or something when he said that in 3 days 9 higher ups would publically leave and that didn't happen so like,

Derek's been wrong many times. That doesn't mean he's not infallible though, it's reality that fails him

atxsperg
Jan 29, 2016

I like cats for their cuddles, but hate the boxes of shit.


Toops posted:

WHAT.

Crobberts is against PBR?

No loving way, I just won't believe it.

hes not against it because its a spangly word. he just has no idea what it is.
someone once told him normal maps are how you cheat showing detail without using real geometry. there is no cheating in the crisverse.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008



Scratchmo


He'll need a money suit

3.0 Jesus Patch
Jan 23, 2010



Grimey Drawer

So did that mass walk out still happen ? What was it 11 people quitting the other day, did that actually happen ?

Didn't see anything from the D man confirming it like he usually does when he post's on repeat about the latest greatest "Info".

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006





https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/4dgiv2/vr_idea_hybrid_vr_solution_for_star_citizen_some/


Guys, hold on, I need to put on my VR headset

Seamless gameplay

IMMERSION

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006





Making it Rain posted:

So did that mass walk out still happen ? What was it 11 people quitting the other day, did that actually happen ?

Didn't see anything from the D man confirming it like he usually does when he post's on repeat about the latest greatest "Info".

D_Smart posted:

Out of the 11 that I have got wind of, 3 thus far are gone as of 03/31. This won't be reflected on their LinkedIn profile until they update it themselves.

The mass exit is still happening. More soon.

A Stupid Baby
Dec 31, 2002

lip up fatty



ew

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them


Grimey Drawer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpLSvHFAUjs&t=1029s

Loiosh
Jul 25, 2010


Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

Derek's been wrong many times. That doesn't mean he's not infallible though, it's reality that fails him

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW



Dinosaur Gum

Space cat enjoys some space pizza


Space cat and space mouse's jpg just despawned! :(


This is not a cat! This is an alien!


I do not think this space cat's helmet is up to standards!


Unicorn space cat, the rarest space cat. Also these are not actually part of a series. Multiple artists independently decided to paint watercolour space cats.


Space cats always enjoy playing with space yarn. It's not an offensive stereotype if it's true.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008



Scratchmo

atxsperg posted:

hes not against it because its a spangly word. he just has no idea what it is.
someone once told him normal maps are how you cheat showing detail without using real geometry. there is no cheating in the crisverse.

I find this surprisingly believable

Palisader
Mar 14, 2012

DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE


Fried Sushi posted:

What if atxsperg is Ryan Archer, plagiarizes art, but dishes dirt on cig. So conflicted.

Shhhh

that crossed my mind

Duckaerobics
Jul 22, 2007




Lipstick Apathy


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dkm8Hteeh6M

Sushi in Yiddish
Feb 2, 2008




Just want to say, your photoshops are the first thing that got me back into the thread a few threads back after not following SC stuff for a long time. Great stuff.

Chalks
Sep 30, 2009




This explains a lot about why Star Citizen backers have such trouble understanding the severity of the technical difficulties the game faces. They simply lack the ability to think things through.

Everything is easily solved if all your ideas are stupid and won't work!

atxsperg
Jan 29, 2016

I like cats for their cuddles, but hate the boxes of shit.


AP posted:

This is a great post, I remember back in 2014 wondering why CIG never featured the networking team considering how important it was going to be for the core features of the game. They'd do lots of features on the other teams, now we know why.

networking doesn't sell ships. jpgs and hundreds of jpgs shown at 30fps in a ship commercial sell ships. always be selling.

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)



no

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them


Grimey Drawer

atxsperg posted:

networking doesn't sell ships. jpgs and hundreds of jpgs shown at 30fps in a ship commercial sell ships. always be selling.

What's the situation with the lease on the Austin studio to your knowledge?

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.



Completely forgot to gif Chris...

Cao Ni Ma
May 25, 2010





So what would the brown sea think about the new CoD when it comes out and it has actual fun space + fps combat for 60 bucks?

CRoberts quote about SC having to be out by 2014 or it would have been too late continues to be the only thing right he's ever been right on

Berious
Nov 13, 2005


Eldragon posted:

Jesus loving Christ close the thread and don't make a new one until th ELE hits.

Every time someone says this something amazing happens not long after

Fat Shat Sings
Jan 24, 2016


Also on the topic of the Star Citizen PR Firm idea.

Of course they would be in this thread, this is the only real source of criticism that they have. I've read almost every Star Citizen article, news piece and blog for the past few years and if the article isn't a glowing review written by a cultist, it's entire comments section is filled with the extremely faithful that would die for Star Citizen. Sometimes going so far as to give out free game packages or ships to anyone who complains.

And that's not even the worst part. Even unrelated articles. Articles about space or even things on the economy, if anyone makes a crack about Star Citizen anywhere someone shows up like some kind of autistic genie to spew out the major talking points. Oh what's that someone joked in a NASA funding article that Star Citizen would pay for a mission to the moon? Here's a cultist with a referral code and a pamphlet of talking points.

You see how they moderate their own forums. Most of their internet presence is being vehemently defended for free by people trying to justify their own poor decisions.

Someone who has time really needs to compile screenshots of all the major cultist talking points and compile them into collages.

I don't know how many times I've read the exact same points from so many different people in so many different places. One instance of each point like "Open Development" or "You don't understand Game Development" or "It's in Alpha." The best one would probably be the 100+ different times development has supposedly started. The worst one would be the sad one where people try to justify it as a hobby and you read 100 people talking about how other people play golf or buy cars or get coin collections.

redwalrus
Jul 26, 2013

:stoke:


Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

He'll need a money suit

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atxsperg
Jan 29, 2016

I like cats for their cuddles, but hate the boxes of shit.


Fried Sushi posted:

What if atxsperg is Ryan Archer, plagiarizes art, but dishes dirt on cig. So conflicted.

guilty i am captured.

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