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Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


So apparently if you neglect a thread for most of a year, it will be closed and locked automatically. Who knew???

Those of you joining us for the first time will want to catch up on the previous thread, located here.

Let's read Issue #28!



No doubt you guys will remember that the Joe team has tracked Cobra Commander, who escaped their imprisonment with the help of Storm Shadow, to a shack in the Florida Everglades owned by a certain master of disguise named Zartan. The Joes' recon squad made contact and exfiltrated despite heavy resistance from Zartan, Destro, Firefly, and the Baroness.



Duke and Roadblock arrive on the freighter via Wild Bill's copter, and Duke starts making plans to assault Cobra head-on. Zartan surmises that the recon squad will be followed by heavy attack forces and decides to get the gently caress out with his Dreadnoks. He tells Cobra Commander he can keep the shack.



Elsewhere, a stereotypically Southern police patrol car is stuck at a train crossing. The good ol' boys inside are surprised to see Breaker atop one of the boxcars asking if they know where Route 56 is. When he gets his answer...



The other Joe heavy support launches in the form of Wild Bill's Dragonfly chopper and the Water-borne Hovercraft Assault Landing Experimental - W.H.A.L.E.



Back at the oil tanks, the Baroness shows what preparations she has made.



Destro and Wild Weasel take two of the Rattlers toward Zartan's shack to pick up Cobra Commander and Firefly. The Baroness flies the third homewards to Springfield to prepare for their triumphant return.

In Zartan's shack, early warning devices pick up the approach of Joe heavy assault force. Firefly struggles with the system controls only to discover that they're all fake, connected to nothing.



Meanwhile, on the highway...



Wild Bill picks up the approaching Cobra jets on radar and lets Duke know to expect company.

Firefly has just about sorted out the controls he uncovered, as Cobra Commander recalls hearing Zartan talk about a secret robot project he'd made plans for. Apparently, he had done more than just plan.



Buford and R.L. continue to try to pull over the MOBAT, but they are quite rudely interrupted.



Let it not be said that Southern lawmen are slow on the uptake.



Duke, in the WHALE, gets Steeler's call for backup and diverts overland to rendezvous with the other team.



Steeler tries to get the local cops to clear out, but they've got other plans.



As Cobra makes a bombing run, the Joes and cops take cover under the treeline.

After arriving in Springfield, the Baroness grabs a ride to the detention center.



Well, that's hardly ominous.

Destro and Wild Weasel loop back to get a lock on the thermal signatures of their targets now that they've lost visual.



Steeler's crazy plan works, and Destro loses lock-on before he can attack. Buford and R.L. aren't so lucky, barely managing to flee their patrol car before an air-to-ground missile takes it out. They flee into the swamp, hoping to take cover in a nearby abandoned shack.

The WHALE makes the scene just in time for Deep Six to land some solid hits on Destro's Rattler, but these tankbusters are built for survivability.



Most of the Joes in the WHALE are wounded, and Roadblock's turret is knocked out. Deep Six tries to track Destro as e makes another pass, but his turret is damaged and unable to elevate! As Destro closes in, Roadblock takes things into his own hands.



The damage proves too much for Destro's Rattler, and he is forced to eject. Meanwhile, Wild Weasel has landed to retrieve Cobra Commander. Unfortunately, there's no room for Firefly to ride along. After assuring Firefly that such a "resourceful" man should have no trouble making his way out, Cobra Commander muses that he'll need to remember to re-stock his supply of lackeys back in Springfield.



But what of Zartan and his Dreadnoks, you ask? They have a plan.

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Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Behind every great engineer is someone just hoping the "genius" doesn't bankrupt everyone.



This thread is my safe space.

Propagandalf
Dec 6, 2008

itchy itchy itchy itchy

:woop:


Thanks, dude!

Mr-Spain
Aug 27, 2003

Bullshit... you can be mine.

:cmon:

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

:colbert::colbert:




Cyrano4747 posted:

This thread is my safe space.

yeah, all respect to cyrano for sacrificing himself for the greater good (or uh, something) but this is a Good Let's Read.

Somebody Awful
Nov 27, 2011

BORN TO DIE
HAIG IS A FUCK
Kill Em All 1917
I am trench man
410,757,864,530 SHELLS FIRED




Destro is still my favorite.

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


Don't get accustomed to this update pace, but...

Let's read Issue #29!



That's a really great cover. I don't even know who did the art, but the composition, the clean lines... Isn't it neat?



The G.I. Joes have pulled into the nearest fishing port to make emergency repairs on the WHALE, and they're taking some flak from the locals. Don't worry, though. The Joes don't have time for that poo poo.



Back in the swamp, Destro fills Firefly in on the location of Cobra's headquarters: a nice little town called Springfield. And looking in on Springfield...



Remember that kid? You'd better check the first thread!

The Joes continue to work around the clock in the sleepy fishing port of Ehrlinger's Cove. When resources run low, good old American ingenuity takes the stage.



Meanwhile, Destro and Firefly have stumbled across a poacher.



Faced with those threats, the poacher tells them the closest place is a spot called Ehrlinger's Cove...

Back in Springfield, Cobra Commander leads a rally, giving us a glimpse into the greater machinations of Cobra.







At the cove, Cutter finishes repairs on the engine, while Roadblock continues to weld the armored plating. In the midst of this activity, the poacher's boat with Cobras aboard drifts alongside. Cutter is outclassed in hand-to-hand with Destro, denting his knuckles on Destro's beryllium steel mask. Firefly gains a turret and turns in on the other Joes, but Roadblock is quick to react.



Fortunately, Wild Bill arrives just then with supplies. Duke hops aboard the chopper to pursue the WHALE and orders Roadblock to guard Cutter until medical support arrives. Cutter, however, has other plans. He hops into an unattended shrimp boat with plans to head back to their support freighter, the G.I. Jane.



Destro is taking the WHALE overland, following roads for ease of navigation.



Wild Bill and Duke in the chopper catch up to the WHALE as Cutter makes it back to the Jane. He realizes that Destro is making for a channel leading to the open Gulf, and the chances of catching them out there go down dramatically.





Yeah, that's one mighty "special" freighter the Joes are running.



The WHALE is trapped between the Jane and the Dragonfly, but rather than surrender, Destro fires his wrist rockets at Wild Bill's copter. The engines are knocked out, forcing Bill into a dangerous gamble. He points the crippled craft directly at the Jane.



Cutter sees what Bill is trying to do and holds his course steady in the face of a flaming helicopter bearing down on him.



As the Joes extinguish the wreckage and secure their friends, Firefly hatches a desperate plan.



The Jane picks up the WHALE in its well deck, but no one seems to be aboard. The Joes cautiously search the boat, aware of Firefly's reputation as a master saboteur.



Tripwire lifts the detonator out, but realizes that it has only seconds to go.



Roadblock's hunch proves right, and the bomb bounces overboard to detonate harmlessly. He's not too happy about Tripwire's actions, though.



The Joes realize too late that Destro and Firefly must have been in the two depth charges that were fired off earlier, but as they attempt to mount a search...

stealie72
Jan 10, 2007

Their eyes locked and suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass.


So glad to see this thread back...

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


On the broader subject of comics, DC is having a buy-one-get-one-free sale on digital copies of most of their comics today, and Marvel is offering 20% off a year's subscription to their Marvel Unlimited service.

I've had Marvel Unlimited for around a year now, and it's one of the reasons I stopped doing these updates for so long. I was busy running through the world's largest backlog.

Toadstrieb
Apr 14, 2011


Man, I'd forgotten how wild these old comics were. Read the whole run when I was a kid, and some of the new stuff, too, though I ended up tossing out my collection when i got to be "too cool" (I now scoff at this idea) for G.I.Joe. Thanks for posting.

ShitheadDeluxe
May 14, 2007


Thanks for firing this thread up again, Nipponophile.

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


I've been pretty busy the past couple weeks, but with Cyrano taking a well-deserved break from Ringo, I'll crank out some updates in the meantime. The next couple years worth of issues have some really good stuff in them, and I'm eager to see people's reactions.

Until then, here's some file cards for our newest characters.

Code Name: MUTT
File Name: Perlmutter, Stanley R.
SN: RA757793443
Grade: Sp-4
Birthplace: Iselin, New Jersey
Primary Specialty: Dog Handler
Secondary Specialty: Infantry

Mutt is a natural with animals. He likes them and they like him. The problem is that he gets along better with dogs than he does with humans. Graduated Jungle Warfare Training School. Attached as cadre to Special Ops School and as advisor to Security and Enforcement Committee. Qualified expert: M-16, M-14, M-1911A1 Auto Pistol, MAC-11.

"If you're sitting next to Mutt in the mess hall, don't try filching anything from his tray--he'll bite your leg off!"

---

Code Name: CUTTER
File Name: Stone, Skip A.
SN: RA403540688
Grade: Lieutenant J.G
Birthplace: Kinsley, Kansas
Primary Specialty: Hovercraft Captain
Secondary Specialty: Special Services

Cutter badgered his congressmen for two years to get into Annapolis. Then realized his family lacked two essential ingredients: power and influence. Opted for the Coast Guard Academy instead.

Wanted a life at sea even though hometown is as far away from either ocean as you can get (exactly 1,561 miles from San Francisco and NYC). His iron will and contrary nature, laced with a truly bizarre sense of humor; might explain why.

Found out the Joe team didn't have any Coast Guardsmen. Raised such a stink that the Coast Guard top brass had to pull every string necessary to fix it. It also gave the brass a way to get Cutter out of their hair.

---

Code Name: DEEP SIX
File Name: Willoughby, Malcom R.
SN: RA226960917
Grade: PO 2nd (Master Diver's Rating)
Birthplace: Baltimore, MD
Primary Specialty: Diver
Secondary Specialty: Small Craft Pilot/Motorized

Deep Six never won any awards for being friendly. Became a Navy diver so that "I could be alone." Enjoys bottlecap collecting, solitaire, and the New York Times crossword puzzles. Only 12 out of 50 Navy divers passed the strict requirements for the coveted diver position on the Joe team. Eight washed out in the practical application testing. Of the 4 finalists, Deep Six could hold his breath the longest.

Torpedo says: "Down in the depths where light doesn't reach and the water pressure can crush you like an eggshell--that's where Deep Six likes it!"

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

:colbert::colbert:




Cutter is the angriest Coastie ever. :laugh:

Somebody Awful
Nov 27, 2011

BORN TO DIE
HAIG IS A FUCK
Kill Em All 1917
I am trench man
410,757,864,530 SHELLS FIRED




I like him already.

iyaayas01
Feb 19, 2010

Perry'd


Nipponophile posted:

Code Name: CUTTER
<...>
Secondary Specialty: Special Services

This is Special Services. It's literally the MOS for being in a song and dance troupe.

:laugh:

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

:colbert::colbert:




well it explains why he's so gung-ho (oh wait that name is taken) to get into the Joes. Anything to avoid the band, right?

Propagandalf
Dec 6, 2008

itchy itchy itchy itchy

Hey man, can't solve every problem with a gun.

Notgothic
May 24, 2003

Thanks for the input, Jeff!

Skip A. Stone, the hovercraft captain. I like that not all the real names are jokes, but the ones that are are usually pretty good.

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


Barely squeezing in an update before the weekend's over, let's read issue #30!



Thanks to my early impressions of Australia being shaped by Mad Max and Crocodile Dundee, that's basically what I imagine a typical Qantas ground crew looks like on the job.



Taking Buzzer's word for it, Zartan says he's going in to check it out.



The chopper turns out to be bring back two wounded Joes from the Florida job.



Zartan hurries off to avoid further scrutiny and gets in touch with Cobra Commander. The Commander remembers that the transport plane that flew him to his prison in the Rockies launched from McGuire AFB. He comes to the logical conclusion that G.I. Joe must be headquartered at McGuire! He orders Zartan to keep his Dreadnoks in the area and keep an eye out. They set up camp in an abandoned gas station.



Fans of anagrams, don't knock yourselves out trying to work on Fred's last name. Also, it turns out the Broca family is moving in right next door to Fort Wadsworth, home of a certain Chaplain's Assistant School.



As Fred and family set up their gear, the ambulances carrying the wounded Joes arrive at the Pit. Wild Bill is more than a little surprised to see a familiar face there.



Hawk confirms that he's been at the Pit all day working on new security programs, and Scarlett verifies it, raising the question of just who Wild Bill actually saw at McGuire...

Cobra Commander has been working on moving his forces into position with the trademark Cobra subtlety.



I included that panel mostly for the "How did this get past the editors?" factor.

Back in friendly old Springfield, a familiar face is rifling through the files at the Arbco Bros. Circus head office. He discovers incriminating evidence, but is interrupted by...



Zartan relays orders for the Dreadnoks to recon the perimeter fence at McGuire and cut open a section in advance of the main Cobra assault force. They're to avoid contact and run quiet, but come on, we all know that's not gonna happen, right?

As Cobra moves their forces into position, Fred Broca receives unwelcome news.



I guess they don't teach anger management at Crimson Guard school. Ironically, if they had kept the equipment hooked up just a few minutes longer, they would have caught a G.I. Joe armored column making its way towards McGuire AFB. Hawk has put two and two together and realized that his doppleganger could be the work of Cobra's new hologram expert.

At McGuire, the Dreadnoks do not stick to the plan. Who could have seen that coming???



But it's OK! They have a plan of their own!



As the Dreadnoks do their thing, the Joes continue their trek to the airbase, and Cobra Commander arrives on site.



Cobra Commander briefs his troops that he wants this insertion to be so stealthy that they should be in place before the Joes have a chance to react. Unfortunately for them, Buzzer manages to saw through precisely the wrong thing just about then.





The Dreadnoks, realizing they've hosed up, make a break for it. They zoom past the Cobra forces on their way in, rationalizing that if they were to stay and fight, the chances of Cobra Commander being around to be mad at them later are that much higher.

Just as the Dreadnoks are about to get away clean, the cavalry arrives on the scene.



Hawk gets word on the main assault on the airfield and breaks off to assist. Their support comes just in the nick of time for the tower crew.



In all the ruckus, Cobra Commander gets so engrossed in lining up a shot on Hawk that he fails to notice Steeler lining up a shot on him.



While Cobra beats a hasty retreat, we check back in with Destro and Firefly, who must have had quite the journey in their stolen shrimp boat.



Next issue: More Snake-Eyes!

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


What's that you say? You need more info on this crazy Cobra-affiliated bikey gang? Well, I aim to please.

Code Name: ZARTAN
File Name: Unknown
Alias: Too numerous to list
Birthplace: Unknown

Zartan can alter his skin color at will to blend in with his environment. He is also a master of make-up and disguise, a ventriloquist, a linguist (over 20 languages and dialects), an acrobatic-contortionist and a practitioner of several mystic martial arts. Very little is known of his background and origins, but most security agencies agree that he must have had European military academy training (probably St. Cyr).

Psychological Profile: Extreme paranoid schizophrenic. Grows into various multiple personalities to such an extent that the original personality becomes buried and forgotten.

---

Code Name: TORCH
File Name: Tom Winken
Birthplace: Botany Bay, New South Wales, Australia

Subject was remanded to Borstal* at age fourteen. Escaped and went to sea in the Merchant Marine where he learned the use of the cutting torch.

Torch is an illiterate, unrepentant thug whose penchant for sudden and unexpected violence is matched only by the utter depth of his stupidity.

Specialty and M.O.**: Works with Oxy-Acetylene torch as a general cutter mostly on remodeling stolen cars and occasional safe crackings. Scavenges the swamps for fun and profit.
*Reform school
**Modus Operandi

---

Code Name: BUZZER
File Name: Dick Blinken (Richard Blinken-Smythe)
Birthplace: Cambridge, England

Buzzer was an extreme left-wing Cambridge sociology don who went to Australia to research the biker gang phenomenon only to be transformed into the very subject of his research. Years of intellectual displeasure caused repressed psychotic anger, manifested in an intense desire to chainsaw apart the expensive geegaws of technological society.

Specialty and M.O.*: A scavenger of the swamps, Buzzer can cut through steel, wrought iron and any metal (except armor plate) with his diamond-toothed chain saw.
*Modus Operandi

---

Code Name: RIPPER
File Name: Harry Nod
Birthplace: Grim Cape, Tasmania

There are devils in Tasmania and Ripper is probably the meanest of them all. Was expelled from nursery school for extorting candy from his schoolmates and spent most of his adult life in various correctional institutions. He is a professional criminal motivated by greed and a malignant dislike for the niceties of civilization-except for motorcycles.

Specialty and M.O.*: Edged weapons and cutting tools. Is known throughout the swamps for using his blade like a cross between a fireman's axe and a can opener to unlock gates and crack safes.
*Modus Operandi

---

Huh, didn't someone just mention something about punny names?

The Imp of Nipples
Jul 24, 2007



Grimey Drawer

I vaguely remember Hasbro apologizing and/or changing for referring to Zartan as a paranoid schizophrenic.

Notgothic
May 24, 2003

Thanks for the input, Jeff!

Nipponophile posted:


Huh, didn't someone just mention something about punny names?

Hah, they really went all-in on the names for that bunch. Love the Buzzer backstory.

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

:colbert::colbert:




He got a pretty badass chainsaw out of it. I guess when you go in, you go all-in.

but yes some of those are :raise: descriptions, but they don't seem to have any relevance to the comics whatsoever? They're just Cobra Biker Gang Because Why Not, it seems like.

also I can't remember if someone made this joke but the Cobra fake name schemes are all about as clever as Ortsac, which I find funny.

Mr-Spain
Aug 27, 2003

Bullshit... you can be mine.



:lol::lol:

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

:colbert::colbert:




Nipponophile posted:




Remember that kid? You'd better check the first thread!

I didn't mind spending the time to re-read the first thread. Here's issue #10, for anyone who's too lazy.

ironwill
Mar 21, 2009



Cobra owns Kirby Vacuum Cleaner Co? :ohdear:

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


One last update for 2015? Why not? It's not like I've got gently caress-all else to do tonight! Let's read Issue #31!



Looking pretty ominous there, Destro.



So apparently our favorite Crimson Guardsman Fred has had to go back and set up all his surveillance gear again after he set it up that one time and then broke most of it.



Cobra Commander tells Fred to expect the arrival of two guests and to provide them his full assistance.

The G.I. Joe team, meanwhile, is making an off-the-records flight. Snake Eyes plans to take some leave at his mountain cabin, and Hawk agreed to give him a lift in the team's C-130. Little do they know, the plane's movements are being tracked by a transmitter that Zartan planted aboard it while his Drednoks were tearing up the airfield last issue. He relays this information to Cobra Commander, who is all too happy to have something good come out of that debacle.



Back at the Broca household, Fred's daughter informs him of the arrival of two visitors.



Spirit notices the transmitter and destroys it before he and Airborne jump, but not before Zartan passes on its last location to Destro.



Spirit and Airborne gripe a bit about having to move their camp back again. Between the wolf's nose and Snake Eyes' vision, their assignment to keep a discreet eye on Snake Eyes is proving impossible.

Just down the road, Fred and company ask around with the locals for help finding their "old army buddy".



Hey, it's been a while since we've checked in with the Baroness and Major Bludd. Let's see what they're up to...



Ah, good times...

Fred and friends have located the cabin they're looking for and, fortunately for them, Snake Eyes has changed out of his casual wear back into his work clothes.



Seriously, the story kind of falls apart here if they pull up and see a guy in flannel and a boonie hat playing fetch with his pet wolf. But they didn't, and so it's on.



Airborne and Spirit notice the gunfire and begin rushing to assist right away, however they're still miles away.

Fred asks if they should try to rush the cabin, but Destro knows what a stupid idea that would be.



The situation quickly changes when Snake Eyes' return fire ignites the gas tank on the Cobramobile they'd been hiding behind.



As Destro covers the windows, Firefly lobs in a frag grenade. Naturally, Snake Eyes isn't going to stand for that.



Whoops, butterfingers. Good thing help has arrived on the scene!



I'm not sure whether this firefight was supposed to have taken much longer than it seemed, or if these guys set new land speed records for the ten miles from their camp.

Anyhow, Snake Eyes manages to knock a table down between himself and the grenade, but the concussion still leaves him dazed and at Destro's mercy. And after that rescue job way back in issue #21 made Destro look bad in front of Cobra Commander, he's not feeling particularly merciful. But somebody's been forgotten in all this excitement...



Outside, the Joes notice Firefly moving to drop an satchel charge down the chimney. Airborne moves to stop him, but doing so allows Fred to outflank him.



Don't worry, guys. They'll be fine. They have action figures. I'd save your concern for the people who didn't get toys made.



Like Fred here. RIP Fred.

Destro shrugs off the wolf and makes a break for the door, and as he and Spirit exchange fire, everything goes red...



Next issue: MORE DREDNOKS!!!

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

:colbert::colbert:




How did I miss this update? Good poo poo.

Also, add one to the "Holy poo poo, he DID just kill that guy" counter. How many are we up to now? As in not generic goons, but named characters with dialogue?

Propagandalf
Dec 6, 2008

itchy itchy itchy itchy

Larry Hama needs to start doing the stories for Call of Modern Warduty.

Back Hack
Jan 17, 2010


I've missed this thread. :allears:

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


Happy birthday, Dr. King! Let's Read Issue #32!!! (In observance of MLK Day, Roadblock, Stalker, and Doc have been given the issue off.)



The DREDNOKS



...actually don't have a lot to do with this issue. We open with the aftermath of the firefight at Snake Eyes' mountain cabin. A mysterious figure arrives on the scene and begins to tend to the wounded survivors. Destro, however, may be a little less wounded than he seemed.





The Soft Master orders Destro to help Firefly haul their friend off the mountain. Good sport that he is, he even lets them keep their guns.

Back at the "Pit", finishing touches are being place as the renovated G.I. Joe Headquarters prepares for its official reopening.



Clutch is actually curious about how Snake Eyes is doing. Hawk reassures him that Spirit and Airborne were sent along to keep an eye on him, but Scarlett doesn't seem too happy to learn this fact.



Oh, look! Fred's not as dead as we all thought! I was playing the unreliable narrator last update. Fred Broca is in this for the long haul, you bet. Also, Destro has clearly seen enough movies to know that you never antagonize a wizened old Asian man, especially if he's smiling at you.

Speaking of...



Beneath the happy suburban streets of Springfield, a conspiracy plays out.



The Soft Master has Spirit assist him in digging through the rubble of Snake Eyes' cabin. He knows a proper ninja would have an escape route prepared, and they soon discover a trap door beneath the debris.

Further down, Destro explains that there is no dishonor in retreating when outmatched, but his fellows don't seem to agree.

Ah, here's the Drednoks. I knew they had to be around somewhere.





Cobra Commander has a proposition. He wants the Drednoks to work as his personal bodyguards. Zartan asks about Storm Shadow, who previously filled that role, but Cobra Commander believes him to still be a prisoner of the Joes on Alcatraz. "Besides, he was getting too nosey. He might have found out something dangerous about his uncle!" Little does the commander know, Storm Shadow has escaped and is eavesdropping from atop the truck.

Snake Eyes and his wolf are pulled from their bolt hole, unconscious from the blast and weak from lack of oxygen. Though badly wounded, Spirit knows he is the most capable among them at wilderness survival and so goes to search for firewood.



Beneath Springfield, the Cobra mobile office pulls in to an isolated stretch of the underground, and Major Bludd and the Baroness watch from a distance as Storm Shadow reveals himself to Cobra Commander.



Spirit's action figure originally came with an eagle accessory for authentic Native American communing with nature action fun!

Anyway, Storm Shadow explains his escape. He straightened springs from his mattress to use as an extendable lockpick.



I don't know why Baroness is so confident in this kid. It's not like he's got a long string of successful assassinations under his belt.

As Destro and Firefly try to track down Fred, they come upon Spirit following the same blood trail. They are surprised that his only reaction is to calmly tell them to turn around and walk away.



Whoops!



Fred seems to be pretty OK with the idea of murder, but the Soft Master continues to stand in his way.

The bear has treed Destro and friends, but Firefly has a foolproof way to handle things.



Spirit realizes that an explosion at the base of a tree they're currently 30 feet up might not be the best of ideas.



Unfortunately for the Cobras, the bear doesn't buy it. As Spirit makes his break, the bear continues to claw at the base of the tree. Well, for about five seconds before it vaporizes.



So Cobra Commander seems to know more than he lets on. I guess you don't stay in his position without a healthy sense of paranoia.

Weakened by the blast, Destro's tree collapses as he and Firefly cling on for dear life. The snow cushions their fall enough that things are looking pretty good as the tree slides further downhill. Oh, except for the sudden cliff, that doesn't look so good.

As Spirit makes his way back to the cabin...



RIP Fred. He's dead for sure this time.

Destro and Firefly zoom over the edge of the cliff... and into a river. They struggle aboard a log raft floating downstream and reflect on their luck.



Scarlett isn't very happy with Lady Jaye's attitude, and is even less happy to learn that she is a new permanent assignment to the G.I. Joe team.



Well would you look at that. Fred's OK after all. Gosh, I just love a happy ending, don't you?

Nipponophile fucked around with this message at 02:24 on Aug 26, 2016

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

:colbert::colbert:




Nipponophile posted:

Well would you look at that. Fred's OK after all. Gosh, I just love a happy ending, don't you?

I'm sure this has no repercussions whatsoever.

Kylaer
Aug 3, 2007


In my opinion, "Give a man a weapon and he will use it. We know their weapons and therefore we know their limitations" is an absolutely classic line, and it has stuck with me ever since I first read this issue twenty-something years ago.

Where do you buy these official digital copies?

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


Personally, I've always loved that last page. Instead of beating you over the head with how eeeeevil Cobra is, it presents a completely understated juxtaposition.

We're shown a classic, all-American suburban nuclear family, the purest and most wholesome thing in the world. Yet with a few simple words, the full picture is revealed. The family are mere pawns in the machinations of Cobra, an organization who thinks of family as nothing more than a convenient vehicle for its purposes. The new Fred stands willing to mold his life, his very identity around the role his masters order of him.


As for the comics, you can buy them through Comixology, which was recently purchased by Amazon. Here's the listing for the compiled volumes I'm using. Right now, we're a little under halfway through volume 4.

Young Freud
Nov 25, 2006



Kylaer posted:

In my opinion, "Give a man a weapon and he will use it. We know their weapons and therefore we know their limitations" is an absolutely classic line, and it has stuck with me ever since I first read this issue twenty-something years ago.

Where do you buy these official digital copies?

It's like, to me, Kwinn's final words how he wouldn't harm Dr. Venom as long as he lived, followed by "A grenade...fallen from a dead man's hand". That line is something that's stuck with me for thirty years now.

stealie72
Jan 10, 2007

Their eyes locked and suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass.


For a comic book conceived to push a line of toys, GI Joe was insanely well written and left me very confused as to why so many other comic books were dumb when I was a kid. I really don't want to contemplate how much effect it had on my formative years.

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


Well, I was going to have another update ready tonight, but imgur is being a dick and not letting me upload pictures right now.

I'll try to post it up tomorrow night. In the meantime, you guys will have to settle for this picture of Roadblock making canapes.

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

:colbert::colbert:




I like how - because this is GI Joe - even that panel includes a knife and a gun. No panel with Roadblock can be unarmed.

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


OK, time to get these parties started. Let's Read Issue #33!







The three in the infirmary are those wounded last issue. Snake Eyes is recuperating by cleaning his Uzi, while Airborne flips through the Encyclopedia Britannica and Spirit seems to be getting some shut-eye. Scarlett bursts in and says that she needs to have a little chat with Snake Eyes. She's been speaking with the Soft Master and has some questions. Airborne takes the hint to make himself scarce, but when he tries to wake up Spirit, he finds only pillows stuffed beneath the blanket.



Spirit leads the others into a florist's shop where he believes he can find the "herbs" he needs.



Ha, kids say the darndest things! While the new Fred and his new wife discuss the difficulty of talking to children about things like "Your real father was actually a secret agent for an anti-government terrorist organization who went and got himself killed on a botched assassination mission but that's OK because Cobra sent out a new daddy who looks and sounds just like the old one," Spirit notices them through the window and goes out to ask some awkward questions of his own, like "Didn't I bury you in an unmarked shallow grave last week?"

Meanwhile in Springfield, everyone is preparing for the big rally tonight. Billy is getting some last minute instruction in diction and also shooting people in the face.



Major poet? Ha ha, get it? No one likes your poetry, Bludd.

As the Baroness makes her way through the tunnels, who should she run into but her old pal Destro. He seems bothered by the distance between them lately, and she has concerns of her own.



Confronted with the raw masculinity of a man in an open-chested shirt with a giant collar and huge gold medallion, she swoons into his arms. No, seriously, that is literally what happens.

One trip to the ice cream shop later, and Fred's kids have done a complete 180 on their attitudes. It's almost eerie how well Hama understands children.



Spirit wants to take this guy in for questioning, but that was some really good ice cream...



Rip-cord and Blowtorch help Spirit up and they take off in pursuit.



The decoration committee doesn't even have any streamers to hang up because they're waiting on Rip-cord and Blowtorch to get back with them. Let's see how that's going.





Bongo the Balloon Bear will be a very important recurring character throughout this next story line with a rather tragic character arc.

As Storm Shadow oversees the stadium security setup, the Baroness reveals the details of the assassination plot to Destro, who turns out not to be a fan. I mean, he likes the part about shooting Cobra Commander well enough, but he's not too keen on involving children.

The chase continues through the streets of Staten Island, and Fred shows off some of the little extras that come factory standard on new model Cobramobiles.





Bongo manages to pull alongside the car, and Rip-cord initiates boarding action. A few pistol rounds through the roof don't shake him off, so Fred tries something else.



Spirit pulls Rip-cord back aboard, but Bongo has had enough of this poo poo.



Later that night, the fateful Cobra rally commences.



All eyes are on the Cobra youth brigade as they approach the podium, especially Destro's...



Hmmm, I wonder what's got him all bothered? Regardless, Destro plows his way through the crowd trying to get to Billy. Watching from the rafters, Storm Shadow picks up on Billy's nervousness and begins to make his move. Once all involved notice the gun, all hell breaks loose.



Man, Destro seems really bugged by this. He's usually pretty chill. I wonder what's going on?



Oh, of course, that's Cobra Commander's son... Wait... WHAT??? :stare:

Meanwhile, at the opening ceremonies for the Pit, General Austin prepares to give his speech, but has his thunder stolen by the arrival of...



After the party's had some time to settle down, Gen. Austin has an important announcement to make.



Those mentioned, all original members of the team, are receiving a promotion... and reassignment to staff duty. Along with Hawk, they'll be working from the Pit in support roles from now on. Snake Eyes, of course, was far too popular to retire and will continue to be a ninja commando.



Once the party winds down, Rip-cord suddenly remembers that they left a bear in a party hat sitting alone in a construction zone several hours ago.



Next issue: DANGER ZONE!

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Propagandalf
Dec 6, 2008

itchy itchy itchy itchy

I spent my youth watching the A-Team instead of reading this?

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