FATAL & Friends 2016-19: Bad Rules and Hidden Jewels

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Mors Rattus: Oct 25, 2007; FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
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2014-2018

I'll be honest I would play the poo poo out of Doggy Day-Care: The Campaign.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 19:10

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 21:34

ZorajitZorajit: Sep 15, 2013; No static at all...

The nonsense of D&D healing isn't worse than the cliche of a dying speech.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 19:10

Nihilarian: Oct 2, 2013

Mors Rattus posted:

So a half-elf and a half-orc have a kid together and that kid marries a halfling.

What do you call the grandchild?

look I'm not here to do math

# ? Oct 23, 2017 19:19

Bieeanshee: Aug 21, 2000; Not keen on keening.; Grimey Drawer

Alien Rope Burn posted:

Eric.

I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 19:21

Mors Rattus: Oct 25, 2007; FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018

Nihilarian posted:

look I'm not here to do math

then why are you playing Pathfinder

# ? Oct 23, 2017 19:23

Nihilarian: Oct 2, 2013

Mors Rattus posted:

then why are you playing Pathfinder

I'm not

# ? Oct 23, 2017 19:25

Cascade Jones: Jun 6, 2015

Nihilarian posted:

I'm not

Um, yeah Mors, obviously they are playing StarFinger, a completely separate game that has no math whatsoever and everything you need to play in the core rulebook.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 19:36

PurpleXVI: Oct 30, 2011; Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

Dallbun posted:

46: Gnoll Cubs, Part 2 of 2

Within 400 yards of the first encounter, there�s another hill with �bloodstains decorating the grassy knolls�... and, given the info on the previous card, grass stains decorating the bloody gnolls.

Because, uh, there are 15 dead gnolls here, in two distinct groups with different fashion choices.

One black-furred gnoll is still hanging on, but dying from �large wounds it has sustained in the fighting.� Cure light wounds? No, you can�t heal him, he�s too far gone. Dead? Well no, he�s not dead yet, he�s going to say something. He�s just dying, okay? He�s� poisoned. His enemy�s weapons were poisoned, so he�s going to die any second! ...No, you try, but you can�t cure the poison, either. No, you don�t find any more vials of uncurable super-poison on the dead gnolls. Look, I have a death speech to read, okay?

Anyway the gnoll lives long enough to recognize the PCs as people of honor, because they're carrying 1.5 gnoll babies each on average. He charges them to raise the cubs �in true gnoll fashion� and in return, grants them �the bauble over which the Blacks and the Ears were fighting.� It�s a battle axe +2. Bauble indeed. At least it�s not +1.

You know, I think some groups would be into this. But it�s a little more disruptive than a single goblin baby, and the death speech cutscene leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Jury?

Personally I'd let the players get away with healing the gnoll after he's made his dramatic death speech and handed over the magical weapon, at which point he's completely confused not to mention utterly unprepared for handling the babies. He'll admit that he has no idea what "true gnoll fashion" would entail and just wanted some dramatic last words that the PC's might tell others about.

Then he tries to distract the PC's and get away so he doesn't get stuck with the babies.

Dallbun posted:

47: Southbound Express

In jagged foothills, the PCs hear echoing feet. A hobgoblin chieftain breaks around a bend in front of them, running south as fast as he can. He doesn�t respond, and doesn�t attack if he�s not forced to - he�s on his own business. He looks grimy but unwinded, and is carrying two long swords +1. (He�s also 4 HD. This being a low-level encounter, he could easily kill some folks in melee with a little luck, if the PCs weren�t going to cast sleep on him.)

Well, it�s kind of pointless, and I hate undifferentiated +1 weapons. But it's easy enough to unenchant this dude's swords, and I do appreciate the stab at demonstrating that the world doesn�t revolve around the PCs. Keep.

I really dig this one, though it feels like it should have a follow-up of some other adventurers or goblinoids chasing after him later, asking the PC's about his location, maybe being suspicious of them, etc. Or maybe he could've tossed the PC's some gold to fight whoever's after him.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 19:39

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

The gnoll babies+ dying plea to raise them could work, in a system where gnolls are not racially evil just hated and if the system does not have instant curing magic.
So not d&d.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 20:11

Terrible Opinions: Oct 18, 2013

It depends on the specific version of D&D but most version of D&D don't have huamnoids as inherently evil.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 20:17

senrath: Nov 4, 2009; Look Professor, a destruct switch!

Terrible Opinions posted:

It depends on the specific version of D&D but most version of D&D don't have huamnoids as inherently evil.

Pretty sure the edition of D&D the cards are from does, though, which is why it's mentioned on the card that the kids will grow up to be evil.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 20:21

DalaranJ: Apr 15, 2008; Yosuke will now die for you.

Having adventurer parents sounds like a real bad deal. They probably should have been charged to safely deliver the children to a sister tribe (and convince them to take them in).

# ? Oct 23, 2017 20:24

Ultiville: Jan 14, 2005; The law protects no one unless it binds everyone, binds no one unless it protects everyone.

Mors Rattus posted:

So a half-elf and a half-orc have a kid together and that kid marries a halfling.

What do you call the grandchild?

3 .5s.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 20:24

senrath: Nov 4, 2009; Look Professor, a destruct switch!

DalaranJ posted:

Having adventurer parents sounds like a real bad deal. They probably should have been charged to safely deliver the children to a sister tribe (and convince them to take them in).

I played a character who was the son of adventurers before. Part of the character was that he wasn't fazed by pretty much anything for the first good section of the campaign and was confused by the rest of the party making big deals over things because he had always assumed that everyone's childhood was like his.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 20:27

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

DalaranJ posted:

Having adventurer parents sounds like a real bad deal. They probably should have been charged to safely deliver the children to a sister tribe (and convince them to take them in).

I think it would be a lot more challenging (and rewarding) to find some charitable villagers who'll take the babies when everyone in the region considers gnolls to be marauding savages.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 20:29

Terrible Opinions: Oct 18, 2013

senrath posted:

Pretty sure the edition of D&D the cards are from does, though, which is why it's mentioned on the card that the kids will grow up to be evil.

I had missed that part. That's really dumb.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 20:48

grassy gnoll: Aug 27, 2006; The pawsting business is tough work.

Dallbun posted:

Jury?

Thumbs down.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 20:51

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

I think it would be a lot more challenging (and rewarding) to find some charitable villagers who'll take the babies when everyone in the region considers gnolls to be marauding savages.

And that Gnoll grew up to be Supergnoll, fighter for truth and justice.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 20:56

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

I keep saying how amazed I am with the brilliant concepts this thread comes up from criticising garbage.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 21:00

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

The gnoll babies+ dying plea to raise them could work, in a system where gnolls are not racially evil just hated and if the system does not have instant curing magic.
So not d&d.

In basically every edition of D&D, the gnolls were created, or at least heavily patronized by, the demon prince Yheenoghu. So there's a heavy undercurrent of chaotic evil and demon worship, and that gnolls themselves might be literally tainted by evil.

In Eberron, some gnolls are that way, but the Gnolls of the Znir Pact realized that that was dumb as hell, threw off the chains of their warlock masters, and started hiring themselves out as mercenaries to the highest bidder.

After reading Volo's, one of my pet ideas for a 5e character (if I ever find myself playing that again) is a Gnoll Asimaar who hides his glorious golden visage under a hood because he thinks he's a hideous perversion the same way a human tiefling would.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 21:02

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Coming up with concepts in abstract is the easy part of writing.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 21:04

The Lord of Hats: Aug 22, 2010; Hello, yes! Is being very good day for posting, no?

kommy5 posted:

Shockingly to other powerful Skaven clans, Eshin don�t give out false information, don�t betray clients, and as far as anyone can tell serve the Council�s plans loyally. Centuries of this have brought them into being the Council�s secret police.

...This work though has resulted in another service that other Skaven will pay good money for: Clan Moulder supplies the best medical treatment available and can keep a Skaven living for many centuries.

Clan Pestilens... will also, with goading and annoyed sighs, cure plagues.

In addition, Skryre also have built electrical power grids in some Skaven settlements, warpstone powered train routes, and magitek communication devices they call Farsqueakers. While they don�t have the sheer volume of wealth that Moulder has, Skryre has the greatest accumulation of power in Skavendom and are considered the greatest of the Great Clans.

Clan Mors is frighteningly good at getting Skaven to work together and be adaptable and it unnerves many Skaven how happy Clan Mors skaven can be and how often they will praise Warlord Gnawdwell and his lieutenants.

I like how, just like how the humans+other races on the surface are slowly reforming and getting into a position to actually push Chaos back, the Skaven just might manage to get their poo poo together and be a functioning society. I mean, that'd probably be a net negative for the world, but still.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 21:06

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

Night10194 posted:

Coming up with concepts in abstract is the easy part of writing.

And yet Paizo.
Just the most uninspired things.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 21:07

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

The Lord of Hats posted:

I like how, just like how the humans+other races on the surface are slowly reforming and getting into a position to actually push Chaos back, the Skaven just might manage to get their poo poo together and be a functioning society. I mean, that'd probably be a net negative for the world, but still.

I doubt it, they are fundamentally unable to trust each other to such an extent that they'd probably end up getting moigled anyway.

Also the best reason that they will never unite... Thanquol.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 22:23

White Coke: May 29, 2015

Josef bugman posted:

I doubt it, they are fundamentally unable to trust each other to such an extent that they'd probably end up getting moigled anyway.

Also the best reason that they will never unite... Thanquol.

Did he ever manage to become Seerlord?

# ? Oct 23, 2017 22:28

Kavak: Aug 23, 2009

Kurieg posted:

After reading Volo's, one of my pet ideas for a 5e character (if I ever find myself playing that again) is a Gnoll Asimaar who hides his glorious golden visage under a hood because he thinks he's a hideous perversion the same way a human tiefling would.

So what does that make him, a really loving handsome Hyena?

# ? Oct 23, 2017 22:31

occamsnailfile: Nov 4, 2007; zamtrios so lonely; Grimey Drawer

Alien Rope Burn posted:

[*]Gnomes: So gnomes have divided into two ethnicities: feychildren and bleachlings. Feychildren are anime-colored and whismical and seek adventure. Bleachlings are "monochromatic" and are believed to come from a plague that drains the color out of gnomes who don't seek out enough adventure (no seriously you guys this is serious), and have a "half-deserved" reputation for dourness. While bleachlings are the minority, apparently their strain is dominant and gnome researchers are trying to figure out what really caused them during the Gap (not the store). Also, have we mentioned gnomes are totes wacky and tr�s obnoxious? Well, they are. In any case, gnomes are the most altered of the races so far, with a bonus to Culture, a bonus against fear effects, and a very limited reroll ability. They still have several spell-like abilities, but can't chat with animals anymore.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 22:41

kommy5: Dec 6, 2016

White Coke posted:

Did he ever manage to become Seerlord?

No. In WFRP's timeline, he basically keeps running around, doing his own thing. He finally, after over 20 years, captures Gotrek and Felix, introduces himself, and gloats how he'll finally have his revenge on the paid of adventurers for foiling so many of his schemes, and their reply sends him into an epic rage:

"Thanquol..? Who is that?"

In the End Times/Age of Pauldron timeline, Thanquol gets fed to Archaon to make Archaon sound more dangerous. I think it might even have happened off-screen.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 22:52

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Kavak posted:

So what does that make him, a really loving handsome Hyena?

Gold and silver fur, upright posture, regal bearing, immaculately clean teeth.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 22:55

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

kommy5 posted:

No. In WFRP's timeline, he basically keeps running around, doing his own thing. He finally, after over 20 years, captures Gotrek and Felix, introduces himself, and gloats how he'll finally have his revenge on the paid of adventurers for foiling so many of his schemes, and their reply sends him into an epic rage:

"Thanquol..? Who is that?"

The scream could be heard from Skavenblight.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 22:59

Vox Valentine: May 31, 2013; Solving all of life's problems through enhanced casting of Occam's Razor. Reward yourself with an imaginary chalice.

occamsnailfile posted:

??

Realtalk, give me the bleachlings, I've always generally disliked gnomes and Pathfinder's gnomes are no exception, making them dour and stoic would be a welcome personality change from the bog-standard d20 gnome personality of "I'm a gnome" along with the optional personality trait of "tee hee aren't I whimsical and a tricksy stinker".

# ? Oct 23, 2017 23:03

Barudak: May 7, 2007

occamsnailfile posted:

??

Its also the plot of the recent trolls movie as well. Its apparently a thing in childrens fairy tale creaturws

# ? Oct 23, 2017 23:09

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

One of the books mentiones that the bleaching is, in the long run, a good thing for gnomes, as it means that they'll live longer lives and not die out because the entirety of their race was trying to out-jackass each other.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 23:10

Simian_Prime: Nov 6, 2011; When they passed out body parts in the comics today, I got Cathy's nose and Dick Tracy's private parts.

Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

And yet Paizo.
Just the most uninspired things.

EDIT: Not the time or place

Simian_Prime fucked around with this message at 00:57 on Oct 24, 2017

# ? Oct 23, 2017 23:15

Feinne: Oct 9, 2007; When you fall, get right back up again.

kommy5 posted:

No. In WFRP's timeline, he basically keeps running around, doing his own thing. He finally, after over 20 years, captures Gotrek and Felix, introduces himself, and gloats how he'll finally have his revenge on the paid of adventurers for foiling so many of his schemes, and their reply sends him into an epic rage:

"Thanquol..? Who is that?"

In the End Times/Age of Pauldron timeline, Thanquol gets fed to Archaon to make Archaon sound more dangerous. I think it might even have happened off-screen.

Honestly Thanquol getting offscreened by Archaeon has the opposite effect, because without really describing how scary he can be if he's actually trying and not sandbagging it's just a giant armor man beating up a scrawny grey rat with a stick.

# ? Oct 23, 2017 23:44

Angrymog: Jan 30, 2012; Really Madcats

Davin Valkri posted:

Do you think that other game lines do this "more gracefully", as it were? The only one that comes to mind is Ashen Stars and its Bogey Conundrum--how does that compare to Starfinder's Gap?

Stars Without Number has 'The Scream', a psychic event that shattered the star-spanning human civilisation, and forced planets that survived it to start making their own way back into space. Said human civilisation was well on the way to amusing itself to death before The Scream happened.

# ? Oct 24, 2017 00:09

DalaranJ: Apr 15, 2008; Yosuke will now die for you.

Alien Rope Burn posted:

Starfinger Core Rules Part #25: "In the same way we did with Pathfinder, we�re trying to be all things to all people, which is normally a recipe for disaster."
_{(James Sutter, Starfinger Creative Director, Game Informer interview.)}

James, you accidentally added the word 'normally' to this statement.

# ? Oct 24, 2017 00:14

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Feinne posted:

Honestly Thanquol getting offscreened by Archaeon has the opposite effect, because without really describing how scary he can be if he's actually trying and not sandbagging it's just a giant armor man beating up a scrawny grey rat with a stick.

I think it says something that one of the favorite parts people had in Total Warhammer was 'How did I kick the poo poo out of the everfailure', and that no-one remembers his equally bland 'good guy' counterpart Valten.

# ? Oct 24, 2017 00:16

Mors Rattus: Oct 25, 2007; FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018

Was he Sigmar Jesus that got ganked by Snikch but then came back for the End Times?

# ? Oct 24, 2017 00:28

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 21:34

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Mors Rattus posted:

Was he Sigmar Jesus that got ganked by Snikch but then came back for the End Times?

Yes. In WHFRP his death is currently being used as a rallying cry by Luthor Huss, crazy religious rebel, as the church of Sigmar considers having another disastrous schism because the Empire can't get enough of those sweet, sweet own goals.

Admittedly 'Supposed Chosen One got murdered while everyone won the war anyway' feels properly warhammer. As does it becoming a plot point of political and religious disunity that PCs might have to fight or mend.

# ? Oct 24, 2017 00:37

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