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Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

I'm sure I'll think of something.

AlbieQuirky posted:

I think it will surprise nobody to learn that no one named James Murdock has published any research papers in the fields of microbiology, epidemiology, or public health.

Somewhat untrue, there is plenty of his literature about field research for flight anxiety reduction published under a pseudonym


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0BinEFCp38

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peanut
Sep 9, 2007




ugh and lmao

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

For That you Get the Head...

The Tail...

The Whole Damned Thing

I know people don't like Cracked around here and these aren't technically scams even though I put them in that category. Basically just common and dishonest sales techniques that commission are taught to implement

https://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-1599-heres-how-stores-trick-you-into-spending-money/

Also, along similar lines are fine print, terms of agreement check boxes and sped up radio ad disclaimers that no one can read, understand or hear but are legally binding in the event you get ripped off. I see and hear these bank, car loan and healthcare ads and there's illegible type and sped up audio every time.

E: fixed my link. Thanks Proteus Jones

BiggerBoat fucked around with this message at 23:31 on Mar 26, 2020

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011



Cracked is super hit or miss, more miss lately but they have their moments. Also read everything by Seanbaby, man has a loving gift when it comes to sarcastic takedowns.

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013





Somehow the URL tags got stripped from your link. Here’s a clickable link:


https://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-1599-heres-how-stores-trick-you-into-spending-money/

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Seanbaby is still alive??

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007





BiggerBoat posted:

I know people don't like Cracked around here and these aren't technically scams even though I put them in that category. Basically just common and dishonest sales techniques that commission are taught to implement

cracked.com/pictofacts-1599-heres-how-stores-trick-you-into-spending-money/

Also, along similar lines are fine print, terms of agreement check boxes and sped up radio ad disclaimers that no one can read, understand or hear but are legally binding in the event you get ripped off. I see and hear these bank, car loan and healthcare ads and there's illegible type and sped up audio every time.

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.

Pekinduck
May 10, 2008


Remember the fine print in commercials from the analog TV era? I think you'd need that CSI zoom and enhance technology to read those.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

For That you Get the Head...

The Tail...

The Whole Damned Thing

Pekinduck posted:

Remember the fine print in commercials from the analog TV era? I think you'd need that CSI zoom and enhance technology to read those.

And it all basically says "everything in this ad is patently untrue but we're required by law to disclose it and this is the smallest font we're allowed to use". The sped up radio disclaimers really slay me because they pay by the minute so they rush through it. I'm sure there's also some law that says they can play it at 45 but not 78 speed.

No one under the age of 40 will know what that means.

Captain Monkey
Aug 23, 2007



BiggerBoat posted:

And it all basically says "everything in this ad is patently untrue but we're required by law to disclose it and this is the smallest font we're allowed to use". The sped up radio disclaimers really slay me because they pay by the minute so they rush through it. I'm sure there's also some law that says they can play it at 45 but not 78 speed.

No one under the age of 40 will know what that means.

Not if you don’t include the units. :rolleyes:

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

by Fluffdaddy


BiggerBoat posted:

And it all basically says "everything in this ad is patently untrue but we're required by law to disclose it and this is the smallest font we're allowed to use". The sped up radio disclaimers really slay me because they pay by the minute so they rush through it. I'm sure there's also some law that says they can play it at 45 but not 78 speed.

No one under the age of 40 will know what that means.

33 and 1/3 or fight.

Edit: I like your posting, BiggerBoat. I admire your passion. I hope you’re keeping your brain safe in whatever deep red doodoo pile you’re stuck in.

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


BiggerBoat posted:

No one under the age of 40 will know what that means.

Records were actually about to overtake cd sales for the first time since '86. They're really quite popular as a physical medium. You've been out of the loop a lot longer than you think. LP sales have loving skyrocketed over the last 10 to 15 years.

(One big downside is that the kids don't know the plural of vinyl is vinyl. They call records "vinyls.")



One of the two places left that can supply a required piece of the record pressing supply chain burned down in February. Things are not looking good right now. https://www.billboard.com/amp/articles/business/8550477/vinyl-record-industry-apollo-masters-plant-fire

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

BiggerBoat posted:

I know people don't like Cracked around here and these aren't technically scams even though I put them in that category. Basically just common and dishonest sales techniques that commission are taught to implement

https://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-1599-heres-how-stores-trick-you-into-spending-money/

Also, along similar lines are fine print, terms of agreement check boxes and sped up radio ad disclaimers that no one can read, understand or hear but are legally binding in the event you get ripped off. I see and hear these bank, car loan and healthcare ads and there's illegible type and sped up audio every time.

E: fixed my link. Thanks Proteus Jones

The light swearing makes so much sense. A place I used to work at made us sit through 40 hours of training from this awful motivational coaching company. Everything about it was terrible, from forcing us to do group massages, to showing us clips from The Newsroom to get us pumped (yes, that horribly cliched America monologue). One of their mottos was "No Bitching," and they'd repeat that again and again with this little "aren't we so relate-able" grin.

I was telling a coworker about how one of the coaches had dropped the f-bomb during a session and stopped and apologized to us. My coworker had sat through the training the year before, and asked which coach and which session. Turns out that lady had "accidentally" said "gently caress" at exactly the same time before, and probably went on to "accidentally" say it at the same point during every speech she ever gave.

Konstantin
Jun 20, 2005
And the Lord said, "Look, they are one people, and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do; nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them.

The government isn't handling the coronavirus aid well at all, I'm sure there are already spoof websites out there saying that your aid money will be directly deposited into your account if you enter your bank information and SSN.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019



Konstantin posted:

The government isn't handling the coronavirus aid well at all, I'm sure there are already spoof websites out there saying that your aid money will be directly deposited into your account if you enter your bank information and SSN.

Do you have a link, I want my Trumbux™

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May 29, 2015


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bamhand
Apr 15, 2010


My co-worker is still paying +2k a month for day care even though it's been closed for the last 2 weeks and will be closed for the foreseeable future. He can't leave because every other day care has an enormous waiting list. Now that sounds like a scam to me.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


I guess if you apply an extremely broad definition of 'scam'. The daycares (and lots of daycares are doing that) aren't being deceptive about it. They're just price gouging because they can, and telling customers in no uncertain terms that if you don't like it, go gently caress yourself.

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






Eric the Mauve posted:

I guess if you apply an extremely broad definition of 'scam'. The daycares (and lots of daycares are doing that) aren't being deceptive about it. They're just price gouging because they can, and telling customers in no uncertain terms that if you don't like it, go gently caress yourself.

It's kinda hosed that the caring profession in the US are so bad that you can't tell if they're running a scam or not. In my country daycares are not allowed to demand payment while they're locked down. Luckily for me that work in daycare the government has decided to foot the bill instead.

Guest2553
Aug 3, 2012


Alhazred posted:

It's kinda hosed that the caring profession in the US are so bad that you can't tell if they're running a scam or not. In my country daycares are not allowed to demand payment while they're locked down. Luckily for me that work in daycare the government has decided to foot the bill instead.

America is a scam :rip:

Blackchamber
Jan 25, 2005



Guest2553 posted:

America is a scam :rip:

Why do you hate our freedom?

computer angel
Sep 8, 2008

Make it a double.


Guest2553 posted:

America is a scam :rip:

I just moved here and I was explaining to a very insulated friend back home how health insurance works here: you spend minimum $300 a month and have an $8000 deductible to sometimes only get 80% of the hospitalization covered. Then after you still have to fight your insurance company over piddly details.

ChocNitty
Aug 3, 2011


One time I was so stupid, I fell for a magazine subscription scam.

An attractive young girl was standing in front of the supermarket. She approached me and asked me if I was nice. I said yes. Then she gave me her pitch on magazine subs, and took out a booklet, with other orders she had. So I decided to get one for $20 (this was a long time ago). I told her I had to go to the ATM. And she asked me if she could come with me. She thought I was gonna blow her off. I said okay like a fool, and gave her the $20 from the ATM.

Magazines never came.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Taking advantage of the male tendency to think with our balls is the oldest and most venerable of all scams

ghost emoji
Mar 11, 2016

oooOooOOOooh


BiggerBoat posted:

I know people don't like Cracked around here and these aren't technically scams even though I put them in that category. Basically just common and dishonest sales techniques that commission are taught to implement

https://www.cracked.com/pictofacts-1599-heres-how-stores-trick-you-into-spending-money/

Also, along similar lines are fine print, terms of agreement check boxes and sped up radio ad disclaimers that no one can read, understand or hear but are legally binding in the event you get ripped off. I see and hear these bank, car loan and healthcare ads and there's illegible type and sped up audio every time.

E: fixed my link. Thanks Proteus Jones



I'm not really sure how this one counts as a scam? "Our waiter did their job well even when their coworkers didn't, clearly the waiter is the bad one here"

Haifisch
Nov 12, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender

People are really bad at understanding that the waiters don't control the entire restaurant(and that if you politely raise an actual issue with your food, it'll get fixed/comped). Much better to punish the waiter for something that's not their fault and you never brought up to them.

Or maybe the writer wants everywhere to be one of those gimmick restaurants where the waistaff treats you like poo poo on purpose?

Serephina
Nov 8, 2005



While food arriving to the table cold is a failure of a few different systems, Front of House plays its part in that. About tipping... that's a huge can of worms regarding how the States does things rear end backwards, and isn't worth derailing over.

Parallelwoody
Apr 9, 2008



Yeah when I read that earlier I'm not sure what the gently caress they were thinking. A service industry person treated me nicely!? SCAM

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007


Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952





ChocNitty posted:

One time I was so stupid, I fell for a magazine subscription scam.

An attractive young girl was standing in front of the supermarket. She approached me and asked me if I was nice. I said yes. Then she gave me her pitch on magazine subs, and took out a booklet, with other orders she had. So I decided to get one for $20 (this was a long time ago). I told her I had to go to the ATM. And she asked me if she could come with me. She thought I was gonna blow her off. I said okay like a fool, and gave her the $20 from the ATM.

I didn't fall for the one that tried me. Also an attractive young girl; we were on a community college campus. She basically snuck up behind me on the stairs to whisper "I've been following you" in a really husky, sexy voice. I jumped and was kinda freaked out at someone sneaking up on me like that. I was too put out to be stupid enough to sign up. Good thing she didn't try me in my incredibly stupid about women phase maybe six or eight years later.

Happy Thread
Jul 9, 2005

by Fluffdaddy


Plaster Town Cop

Guest2553 posted:

America is a scam :rip:

America was a Ponzi scheme that has now run its course

Everyone who has been watching the finance sector or the economics thread knows that this is true in every most literal possible sense, and we're headed for whatever the result is of an entire global empire being a Ponzi scheme

Pharmaskittle
Dec 17, 2007

arf arf put the money in the fuckin bag



mllaneza posted:

I didn't fall for the one that tried me. Also an attractive young girl; we were on a community college campus. She basically snuck up behind me on the stairs to whisper "I've been following you" in a really husky, sexy voice. I jumped and was kinda freaked out at someone sneaking up on me like that. I was too put out to be stupid enough to sign up. Good thing she didn't try me in my incredibly stupid about women phase maybe six or eight years later.

I had a girl come to my apartment to sell magazines once years ago. I was absolutely out of my mind with a fever, which is the only reason I let her in, and she left partway into her pitch when she realized how ill I was.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

For That you Get the Head...

The Tail...

The Whole Damned Thing

Man, why do I have the feeling we're in for several doozys in the coming months as all the evil fuckers in the world devise ways to monetize covid19. We've already seen the lovely preachers pulling their usual lovely poo poo but when money starts getting handed out and the systems set up to distribute it can't handle it, a ton of call centers and phishing scams are gonna explode.

Then again, once nobody has any money, there'll be nothing left to scam I suppose.

Volmarias
Dec 31, 2002

I'm sure I'll think of something.

BiggerBoat posted:

Man, why do I have the feeling we're in for several doozys in the coming months as all the evil fuckers in the world devise ways to monetize covid19. We've already seen the lovely preachers pulling their usual lovely poo poo but when money starts getting handed out and the systems set up to distribute it can't handle it, a ton of call centers and phishing scams are gonna explode.

Then again, once nobody has any money, there'll be nothing left to scam I suppose.

It's already getting handed out to the grifters. Don't worry though, the bottom feeders will still call grandma and tell her about their miracle cure that Trump is only giving up the right people, wink. You know. Just need your bank numbers to prove that you're an American!

Weatherman
Jul 30, 2003

WARBLEKLONK


Life imitates art. There was a "miracle cure"-pedding grifter in Contagion, and just like this hellworld we live in, his faithful followers bailed him out after the CDC or SEC or whoever investigated him and exposed the scam.

Oh, I'm sorry, I mean after :argh: THE drat FEDS :argh: put their bootheel down on an honest businessman just trying to get you the miracle cure that doctors Don't Want You To Know!!11!!

Guest2553
Aug 3, 2012


Dumb Lowtax posted:

America was a Ponzi scheme that has now run its course

Everyone who has been watching the finance sector or the economics thread knows that this is true in every most literal possible sense, and we're headed for whatever the result is of an entire global empire being a Ponzi scheme

Which thread is that? Sounds like something to peruse on lockdown.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

For That you Get the Head...

The Tail...

The Whole Damned Thing

Dumb Lowtax posted:

America was a Ponzi scheme that has now run its course

Everyone who has been watching the finance sector or the economics thread knows that this is true in every most literal possible sense, and we're headed for whatever the result is of an entire global empire being a Ponzi scheme

My conservative ex father in law agrees with you but he thinks that social security and medicare are the real Ponzi schemes and sees no correlation whatsoever between the stock market and a Vegas casino, nor any problems with tying people's retirement money to the banks who gamble there. He called me naive but never really explained how it's not (almost) exactly like a casino. Seems like gambling to me.

Yeah, he's not bright. Although he is "done with Trump" bu not sure what the breaking point was there.

bamhand
Apr 15, 2010


The stock market is a casino but the odds are in your favor. So it is kinda different.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019



BiggerBoat posted:

My conservative ex father in law agrees with you but he thinks that social security and medicare are the real Ponzi schemes and sees no correlation whatsoever between the stock market and a Vegas casino, nor any problems with tying people's retirement money to the banks who gamble there. He called me naive but never really explained how it's not (almost) exactly like a casino. Seems like gambling to me.

Yeah, he's not bright. Although he is "done with Trump" bu not sure what the breaking point was there.

Done with Trump means he's still voting Trump but doesn't want to get yelled at for anything Trump does.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019



Don't know if this quite qualifies as a scam but it doesn't qualify as a not scam



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Happy Thread
Jul 9, 2005

by Fluffdaddy


Plaster Town Cop

bamhand posted:

The stock market is a casino but the odds are in your favor.

**𝘛𝘏𝘐𝘚 𝘐𝘚 𝘞𝘏𝘈𝘛 investors 𝘈𝘊𝘛𝘜𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘉𝘌𝘓𝘐𝘌𝘝𝘌**

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