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Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Behind every great engineer is someone just hoping the "genius" doesn't bankrupt everyone.



Lol, normally I wouldn't bother with a "money in africa" email but it made me laugh

Agent Josh posted:

Federal Bureau Of Investigations
Headquarters Washington Dc.
Building 935 Pennsylvania Ave.
NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
+1 440-332-0405


NOTICE OF ONGOING INVESTIGATION

Attn Recipient:

This is agent Josh, we were sent by the acting Director of Federal Bureau of Investigation Andrew G. McCabe, we are currently in Africa as an FBI/United States delegate that have been delegated to investigate these fraudsters who are in the business of swindling Foreigners that has transactions in Africa.
Be informed that during our investigations we found out that there is a total amount of $2.5 Million that has been assigned in your name as the beneficiary and these fraudsters are busy swindling you without any hope of receiving your fund, these are the works of the fraudsters who needed to extort money from you in the name of this transfer, We have to inform you that we have arrested some men in respect of this delayed overdue fund. We have a very limited time to stay in Africa here so I advise you urgently respond to this message.

These criminals will be caught unaware and we don't want them to know this new development to avoid jeopardizing our investigation, you need to conceal anything that has to do with this exercise to enable us get all the necessary information we required.

I will be expecting your swift response as soon as you receive this email and notify us of any message or phone call you receive from those fraudsters for us to investigate on it before you make any contact with them.

In case if found this message in spam folder, it could be due to your Internet Service Provider, ISP. So kindly move to your inbox before replying.

Regards,
Jackson Josh
International Banking Unit

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EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!



I do love the names these guys pick out, it's like they *almost* make sense but never quite right.

Qu Appelle
Nov 3, 2005

"If a COVID-19 pandemic occurs, public health officials may have additional instructions, such as avoiding close contact with others as much as possible, and staying home if someone in your household is sick." - Official insights from Public Health: Seattle & King County staff



Straight White Shark posted:

The estate is absolutely responsible for outstanding debts. Otherwise everyone would go on a credit card buying spree for their loved ones before they shuffle off and hey, free stuff!

yup - it all goes to the Estate. This happened with relatives of mine.

My experience is only in WI, but if there's more debt than assets, the debtors eat the loss. They can't go after next of kin for the deceased person's debt. What they *can* do, however, is sue if they think the Estate is being mishandled - but unless there's gross negligence, or large amounts of money involved, it won't come to that.

When I was an Executor, I just sent letters when the Estate was settled saying "There wasn't enough to cover the debt, this is your portion of it, here's the breakdown, and now the Estate is closed. Sincerely, Qu Appelle."

sweart gliwere
Jul 5, 2005

better to die an evil wizard,
than to live as a grand one.


Pillbug

EL BROMANCE posted:

I do love the names these guys pick out, it's like they *almost* make sense but never quite right.

Even if the name and phrasing were on-point, there's still the cool central plotline:

"Uh, we're in Africa now. Not any specific country, but the American FBI (a domestic agency limited by US borders) now operates in all of Africa. Yeah don't worry about it, the whole continent is united in support for our program. ONLY FOR A LIMITED TIME"

Highbrow Slick
Jul 1, 2007

it is a fool who stays alive - but such fools are we.

flosofl posted:

my once and future sister-in-law

Am I parsing this phrase correctly?

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!


I wonder if I just ran into a scammer. I was driving home with some groceries. I got to the 4-way intersection of local streets where my block was on the far right side. I kept going straight, because from my position, if I went forward there is an entrance to the alley on my right side, and I park my car by going down the alley to the back side of my lot. But before I pass the intersection, I see a dude on the left side of the street looking back and forth, and crossing after the car in front of me passes him. He doesn't seem to notice that I'm there, but whatever, if he's walking like that I assume he might live on my block so I'm not going to be a dick and honk at him or anything. He then proceeds like he's going to go down the alley too, but I have plenty of room to sneak by him in my car, so I do. I get to my place, park on my outdoor driveway, and start unloading my groceries. The dude then walks by, and starts talking to me. He says "I'm installing these blinds in this lady a couple blocks down, but she doesn't have any screws! Do you have any screws?" And while I certainly do have an impressive amount of tools and hardware for someone who rents their home, I just say "sorry, I don't", and the guy says thanks or something and walks off.

Has anybody run into something like this before? My scam sense was tingled here because the situation just didn't add up. First is that the guy is dressed like he wants to be a low-rent 40-year-old Slim Shady, i.e. his jeans and shirt were way too fancy (relatively speaking) to be work clothes. Second is that he's walking through the alley instead of the sidewalk; this might make sense if it was a shortcut to a hardware store, but this brings us to the next point. Third, there is not a hardware store anywhere close to the vector from which I observed him start-to-finish; in fact, the closest hardware store within walking distance was on the 180-degree side of one of the 90-to-180-degrees arcs the opposite way from the direction he was traveling.

I know the dude might also just be a dumbass, but hopefully y'all enjoy my story anyway.

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Behind every great engineer is someone just hoping the "genius" doesn't bankrupt everyone.



Sounds more like someone looking for poo poo to come back and steal than anything else.

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013





Highbrow Slick posted:

Am I parsing this phrase correctly?

I was probably trying to be too clever by half here.

My fiancé passed away, so she will never be my sister-in-law now.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007




^^^^
:(

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



We had a Bell salesperson come to our house promising us that if we reconnected our cable and home phone our monthly bill would be lower than it is now with just home internet

No contract, but he could guarantee that he could get me that same deal if they ever sent me a notice telling me they were changing it

I said no that we were happy with our situation and he was visibly upset and kept reiterating that I would be saving money. I regret not telling him that I didn't trust his poo poo company and his guarantees were worthless and we both knew it

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



I had a similar thing where my (ex) ISP called me up and offered me a package deal on Spotify and Netflix for a minor discount over paying for both services separately, and the salesperson was noticably perplexed when I refused his offer after I had admitted that I use and pay for both services already.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that it's because I was waiting for my co-op to finish installing the local fibre network and as soon as that was done I was going to cancel their service so I had no interest in signing up for more services with them. :v:

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

Gamera is friend to all Pumpkins
-----------------------------------
SA is funded by your AV purchases, thank you!



Pillbug

There's a definite increase in the number of robocalls, I wonder if Trump's not enforcing the Do Not Call list anymore :smith:

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



Collateral Damage posted:

I had a similar thing where my (ex) ISP called me up and offered me a package deal on Spotify and Netflix for a minor discount over paying for both services separately, and the salesperson was noticably perplexed when I refused his offer after I had admitted that I use and pay for both services already.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that it's because I was waiting for my co-op to finish installing the local fibre network and as soon as that was done I was going to cancel their service so I had no interest in signing up for more services with them. :v:

Our telecoms/ Chaos gods in Canada (all 3 of them plus the minor company they tolerate) are super grumpy that people are cancelling their cable and home phones and are charging more for internet to make up for lost revenue they think they deserve. They're terrible, but they have an undue amount of influence in this country :canada:

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!



CommieGIR posted:

There's a definite increase in the number of robocalls, I wonder if Trump's not enforcing the Do Not Call list anymore :smith:

Republicans are keen to pass a bill that allows spammers to leave voicemails on phones without them ringing, so...

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007





CommieGIR posted:

There's a definite increase in the number of robocalls, I wonder if Trump's not enforcing the Do Not Call list anymore :smith:

I thought you had to renew your enrollment on the do not call list. Maybe you timed out?

skateboardjesus
Oct 16, 2004



Slippery Tilde

Midjack posted:

I thought you had to renew your enrollment on the do not call list. Maybe you timed out?

I made sure my number was on the list about 2 months ago, if anything I get more calls now than before. I think I get between five and ten a day, always from different numbers. Robocallers really give no fucks about any do not call lists. I was thinking that it should be harder to get a phone number to combat this but telecoms can't make money thinking that way.

Blue Footed Booby
Oct 4, 2006

got those happy feet




Slippery Tilde

skateboardjesus posted:

I made sure my number was on the list about 2 months ago, if anything I get more calls now than before. I think I get between five and ten a day, always from different numbers. Robocallers really give no fucks about any do not call lists. I was thinking that it should be harder to get a phone number to combat this but telecoms can't make money thinking that way.

At this part the problem seems to be easy access to VoIP. All the calls I get have obviously spoofed info since there's no way I'd get this many calls from real phones with the same area code and first three digits as me.

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004

by Cyrano4747


College Slice

Blue Footed Booby posted:

At this part the problem seems to be easy access to VoIP. All the calls I get have obviously spoofed info since there's no way I'd get this many calls from real phones with the same area code and first three digits as me.

yeah, same. I get one like that almost every day, bever the same last 4 numbers.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-




Pillbug

Professor Shark posted:

We had a Bell salesperson come to our house promising us that if we reconnected our cable and home phone our monthly bill would be lower than it is now with just home internet

No contract, but he could guarantee that he could get me that same deal if they ever sent me a notice telling me they were changing it

I said no that we were happy with our situation and he was visibly upset and kept reiterating that I would be saving money. I regret not telling him that I didn't trust his poo poo company and his guarantees were worthless and we both knew it

When I had Comcast every single time I called them to complain about something that needed fixed (which was frequently because loving Comcast...it's like they actively try to be the worst company in existence) they'd repeatedly try to upsell me on my service. They kept saying "but it will save you money! Your bill will go down!" And I'm like no...no it won't. It might go down temporarily but it'll be just that; temporary. I didn't have a reason to have a landline and I don't watch television so I had no reason to ever have either service. The end result would be that my bill would go up while services I would never, ever use would get tacked on. It would do me no good but they would not...shut...UP...about it. Unfortunately my choices at the time were Comcast or "lol gently caress you hope you enjoy the stone age."

When I moved and had a choice I called up Comcast to cancel and told them every single reason why. I didn't yell at the phone guy because it wasn't his fault but I was like "hey send this poo poo up the chain because you work for a terrible company everybody hates." I don't think Comcast gave a poo poo because they have so many areas where they're the only game in town but really...all telcos are awful but Comcast is a special variety of awful.

Of course now I have Verizon who made promises on the phone that weren't delivered because "lol gently caress you it wasn't in writing" but at least my internet loving works now and I actually get the speed I pay for.

...what I'm saying is "gently caress Comcast."

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!



I genuinely did have a cheaper bill every month because I had a landline with no phone plugged into it (Virgin Media in the UK)

I've got Xfinity now in the states, and while everything has genuinely gone well in the last year beyond a few hiccups, I'm sure they'll mess up on Thursday when I move. I see a coax cable hanging out of a wall in the new place but no guarantees it's actually hooked up to them so I'm not touching poo poo.

stringball
Mar 17, 2009



Blue Footed Booby posted:

At this part the problem seems to be easy access to VoIP. All the calls I get have obviously spoofed info since there's no way I'd get this many calls from real phones with the same area code and first three digits as me.

holy poo poo I didn't realize this until you mentioned this just now, the first 3 digits of mine are shared with the other 4 on my family's plan making it even more fun

Also cable/satellite is a major scam and almost everyone my age doesn't even bother with it. I legit wonder if when it's going to crash hard, either when even the moms/dads realize its loving dumb or when their main customer base dies

Thanatosian
Apr 16, 2013

Angrier, Bitterer Man


Grimey Drawer

stringball posted:

holy poo poo I didn't realize this until you mentioned this just now, the first 3 digits of mine are shared with the other 4 on my family's plan making it even more fun

Also cable/satellite is a major scam and almost everyone my age doesn't even bother with it. I legit wonder if when it's going to crash hard, either when even the moms/dads realize its loving dumb or when their main customer base dies
The cable companies are already moving into content creation and internet streaming, so pretty much never.

stringball
Mar 17, 2009



Thanatosian posted:

The cable companies are already moving into content creation and internet streaming, so pretty much never.

I meant more of a "pay $250 for endless garbage channels" kind of thing


-------------------

I love reading dumb spam mails I get and this one was was defiantly unique:

quote:

My Dear Beloved Friend,

Greetings. Please let this not sound strange to you because I am not asking you of money, for my only surviving lawyer who would have done this died early this year. I prayed and got your email address from your countrys guest book which I have been with my late husband and I wish to visit once more if God will in his infinite mercies grant me. In function of your good profile, I want to solicit your assistance in the discharge of my will. I am Mrs. Susan Read from London and am aged 65 years suffering from endometrial cancer. Please, I want you to help me create a charitable project with the money that I inherited from my deceased husband who died in a motor accident. I was brought up from a motherless baby's home and was married to my late husband for twenty nine years without a child.

My friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness and I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them anymore, so I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of 9m Pounds with my bank. All I need is an honest person who will use at least %60 of the funds as I instructed, then the rest %40 will go to you for helping me accomplish this mission because donating this money to charity is the only legacy I can leave behind after my death. No money is required from you to carry on with this project because it is my heart desire to make a generous gift to you to work for a charity in your country, I don't mind if you are a Christian or Muslim
but I dont know if I can trust you because there are greedy and fraudulent people over the world. I will give you more details as soon as I hear from you.

Looking forward for your urgent response.

Regards.

"yes god gave me your email address from a guestbook that was with my dead husband. Also gently caress anyone who isn't christian or muslim and I cant trust you yet even though god gave me your email"

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006
I am an autistic asshole that is incapable of understanding anything that isn't face value. Please consider my disability when reading my posts.

Blue Footed Booby posted:

At this part the problem seems to be easy access to VoIP. All the calls I get have obviously spoofed info since there's no way I'd get this many calls from real phones with the same area code and first three digits as me.

Yeah, and there's also the issue that making phone service widely available, easy and cheap is a pretty good thing in most respects. It's nice to have providers like Twilio so you can do things that require text or voice capability without too much cost or hassle. The problem, as always, is when people abuse a good system. I don't know there's any good way to combat that.

One interesting thing, however, is that (unless something has changed recently) there's no way to spoof a number for SMS. You can't even "send as" a certain verified number that you own, if you're not actually using that number. If this were the case for voice calls, I think it would solve a lot of problems.

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004

by Cyrano4747


College Slice

Hell, I'd reply to that email just to see what the next step is, and string them along as long as possible.

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!


my guess is that the religion thing is a shibboleth indicating that the writer of the email is african. asking "oh hey are you guys christian or muslim" is like one of the standard topics for small talk when im at a staff training and during a break some of my african coworkers start asking each other where they are from :shobon:

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007





MANime in the sheets posted:

Hell, I'd reply to that email just to see what the next step is, and string them along as long as possible.

Like this.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



419Eater stopped being funny when they got those kids killed

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

Gamera is friend to all Pumpkins
-----------------------------------
SA is funded by your AV purchases, thank you!



Pillbug

Professor Shark posted:

419Eater stopped being funny when they got those kids killed

....what?

Bogan King
Jan 21, 2013

I'm not racist, I'm mates with Bangladesh, the guy who sells me kebabs. No, I don't know his real name.

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!



http://www.419eater.com/html/RoadToChadDarfur/

The general belief is the kids who went missing weren't scamming, but were told to go by the scammers.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



IIRC the guy the 419'ers were scamming sent his nephew and a friend or something, never to be heard from again

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

Gamera is friend to all Pumpkins
-----------------------------------
SA is funded by your AV purchases, thank you!



Pillbug

:smith: What the hell is wrong with humanity.

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007





CommieGIR posted:

:smith: What the hell is wrong with humanity.

Life is cheap, it turns out after all.

Pilsner
Nov 23, 2002



stringball posted:

holy poo poo I didn't realize this until you mentioned this just now, the first 3 digits of mine are shared with the other 4 on my family's plan making it even more fun

Also cable/satellite is a major scam and almost everyone my age doesn't even bother with it. I legit wonder if when it's going to crash hard, either when even the moms/dads realize its loving dumb or when their main customer base dies
Why are you so angry about cable/sat TV and hope that the market crashes, when it's a completely voluntary service? Just don't subscribe to it if you don't like it. Calling it a "major scam" is flat out incorrect.

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004

by Cyrano4747


College Slice

Pilsner posted:

Why are you so angry about cable/sat TV and hope that the market crashes, when it's a completely voluntary service? Just don't subscribe to it if you don't like it. Calling it a "major scam" is flat out incorrect.

In the sense that you have to pay for 30 channels you don't want just to get one or two you do, he's right. To get my local CSN affiliate so I can watch hockey games, I also have to pay for ESPN and the NFL Network - two of the most expensive channels, and I NEVER watch them at home. Not to mention garbage like the Big 10 network, Speed, and all the other channels that come with it.

I've wound up totally cutting the cord during the offseason to make up for it, which sucks for obvious reasons.

With 'data thresholds/caps' and things like that, internet is almost as bad - and its even worse in Canada.

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!


Pilsner posted:

Why are you so angry about cable/sat TV and hope that the market crashes, when it's a completely voluntary service? Just don't subscribe to it if you don't like it. Calling it a "major scam" is flat out incorrect.

nobody lives in your mythical lolbertopia where there is a perfect free market. it doesn't exist

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004

by Cyrano4747


College Slice

Lutha Mahtin posted:

nobody lives in your mythical lolbertopia where there is a perfect free market. it doesn't exist

Counterpoint: 2000s Russia.

BigDave
Jul 14, 2009

Taste the High Country


Anyone run into WorldVentures yet? Just had a coworker try to get me to sign up for it. $119 signup fee and $15 a month for the opprotunity to stay in cheap hotels and timeshare cruses? Sign me up! :suicide:

https://web.archive.org/web/2013082...res-leader.html

https://whywaittoseetheworld.com/worldventures-this-is-not-the-way-to-travel-the-world/

http://vacationsooner.com/video/dreamtrips_gold_platinum_rep/english

Best I can tell, it's basically Primerica for vacations.

EDIT: Even better, found a pro-WorldVentures website practically daring you to sign up and sell.

http://kaduceusvacationtravelclub.com/beware-of-pyramid-schemes/

quote:

Let’s face it, not everyone is cut out to be a leader. Because if all we had were leaders, we’d have no followers. Even large companies, like Priceline, have a pyramid scheme. Except theirs points down, as that’s what they have to spend in order to gain your business. Vacation Sooner is offering a unique product that everyone wants and dollars trickle up to you. If you want to take advantage of that and start your own pyramid without the risk and blowing a lot of cash advertising, join as a Representative. Otherwise, stay part of the millions of people that simply DO NOT want to lead. They’re completely satisfied being complacent, and there’s nothing wrong with that. A matter of fact, this opportunity is for those doing JOBS that are wanting more. The chance to start their own business with minimal cost.

BigDave fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Jun 22, 2017

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Gobbeldygook
May 13, 2009
Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

Put this racist on ignore immediately!


BigDave posted:

Anyone run into WorldVentures yet? Just had a coworker try to get me to sign up for it. $119 signup fee and $15 a month for the opprotunity to stay in cheap hotels and timeshare cruses? Sign me up! :suicide:

https://web.archive.org/web/2013082...res-leader.html

https://whywaittoseetheworld.com/worldventures-this-is-not-the-way-to-travel-the-world/

http://vacationsooner.com/video/dreamtrips_gold_platinum_rep/english

Best I can tell, it's basically Primerica for vacations.
Yep, friend got honked by these clowns. They got recruited through 'Dream Trips' which is part of World Ventures. They're paying $50 a month but they're earning Dream Points and at the end of the year they can cash them out for a Dream Trip. If they can just recruit four people under them they'll get their membership fee waived! They also sell a $200 electronic thingy that can act like eight credit cards, thus saving you wallet space.

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