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Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004





My wife does it and she’s from northern California (actual northern, not bay area). The bit about folks from southern Oregon using it probably explains that though 🤷‍♀️

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ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-




Pillbug

Corsair Pool Boy posted:

Well, get your neighbors to stop mangling the English language.

It's spreading, I work in NoVA with people that do it

Hell no, these linguistic shenanigans are a time-honored part of our culture.

Nah if you excuse me Imma gone dahn t'the crick t' have a bon fahr. Gonna roast me up a Pizzburgh rare steak lemme tell ya.

ToxicSlurpee fucked around with this message at 00:05 on Aug 19, 2018

Wicked Them Beats
Apr 1, 2007



Achmed Jones posted:

My wife does it and she’s from northern California (actual northern, not bay area). The bit about folks from southern Oregon using it probably explains that though 🤷‍♀️

I hear it from relatives and my family is from Monterey. But we also say howdy and y'all cuz we's hella Okie.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


Personally, as a lifelong grammar nit and sometime editor/proofreader, I think dropping the entirely unnecessary words from "needs to be replaced" is a welcome development. Fight me.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!


Eric the Mauve posted:

Personally, as a lifelong grammar nit and sometime editor/proofreader, I think dropping the entirely unnecessary words from "needs to be replaced" is a welcome development. Fight me.

"Needs to have been replaced already"

EKDS5k
Feb 22, 2012

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET YOUR BEER FREEZE, DAMNIT


Every dialect of every country's version of the English language is just mangled phrases on top of corruptions on top of misheard loan words on top of more mangled phrases. Everything is made up and the grammar doesn't matter.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!


EKDS5k posted:

Every dialect of every country's version of the English language is just mangled phrases on top of corruptions on top of misheard loan words on top of more mangled phrases. Everything is made up and the grammar doesn't matter.

The same could be said of all languages.

Don Gato
Apr 28, 2013

Actually a bipedal cat.

Grimey Drawer

English dialects are all mutually intelligible minus minor grammar points, it's not like Chinese where I feel like I have to relearn large parts of the language when talking to people from the countryside, let alone the other Chinese dialects in the south.

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

#GOAT


EKDS5k posted:

Every dialect of every country's version of the English language is just mangled phrases on top of corruptions on top of misheard loan words on top of more mangled phrases. Everything is made up and the grammar doesn't matter.

Yeah, being completely unintelligible through the usage of garbled grammar is fine.

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004

by Cyrano4747


College Slice

Absurd Alhazred posted:

"Needs to have been replaced already"

"Needs replaced"

Eric the Mauve posted:

Personally, as a lifelong grammar nit and sometime editor/proofreader, I think dropping the entirely unnecessary words from "needs to be replaced" is a welcome development. Fight me.

Yeah it bothers me, though not as much as apostrophes for plural words. That is just 100% inexcusable.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!


Corsair Pool Boy posted:

"Needs replaced"

"Should have needed to have been replaced already."

TheKennedys
Sep 23, 2006

By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet


Don Gato posted:

English dialects are all mutually intelligible minus minor grammar points, it's not like Chinese where I feel like I have to relearn large parts of the language when talking to people from the countryside, let alone the other Chinese dialects in the south.

I feel like I appreciate English more as a totally hosed up language after working for a Fujianese man only a few years older than me who speaks three variants of Chinese (Mandarin/Cantonese/Fujianese) fluently. Even he regularly trips up trying to figure out English grammar, and his native language is basically black magic.

EKDS5k
Feb 22, 2012

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET YOUR BEER FREEZE, DAMNIT


iajanus posted:

Yeah, being completely unintelligible through the usage of garbled grammar is fine.

You need to travel more. Even within your own country there are hundreds of different dialects where, get this, they talk differently and use different turns of phrase than you. Maybe read a little on how even a single language can change and evolve in different ways in different places.

"Needs replaced" is perfectly intelligible as "needs to be replaced" to the group of people where it originated. Even to outsiders it's more "That's a funny way of saying it." The only people who don't understand "needs ____ed" after more than like a half second of thought are being deliberately obtuse.

Neither way is "correct," because who fuckin' says so? It's like kitty-corner, catty-corner, cat-a-corner, kit-a-corner, kattywampus, and caddy-corner. Every one of them is "right" to someone, but they're all mispronunciations of "cater-corner," and "cater" itself is a mispronunciation of a French word. Nobody even knows or cares anymore, though, and it doesn't matter anyway, because 90% of the time you're talking to someone who uses the same word as you, and the meaning is understood.


TheKennedys posted:

I feel like I appreciate English more as a totally hosed up language after working for a Fujianese man only a few years older than me who speaks three variants of Chinese (Mandarin/Cantonese/Fujianese) fluently. Even he regularly trips up trying to figure out English grammar, and his native language is basically black magic.

They consider themselves different languages, though, not variants of the same one.

Sanford
Jun 30, 2007

...and rarely post!



EKDS5k posted:

Neither way is "correct," because who fuckin' says so? It's like kitty-corner, catty-corner, cat-a-corner, kit-a-corner, kattywampus, and caddy-corner. Every one of them is "right" to someone, but they're all mispronunciations of "cater-corner," and "cater" itself is a mispronunciation of a French word. Nobody even knows or cares anymore, though, and it doesn't matter anyway, because 90% of the time you're talking to someone who uses the same word as you, and the meaning is understood.

I’m a native English speaker and I don’t know what any of that means.

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

Get into shit, let it out like diarrhea
Got burnt once, that was only gonorrhea




Those are all things really old new england carpenters say instead of "hey your poo poo's hosed up dumbshit" like normal people

Wicked Them Beats
Apr 1, 2007



EKDS5k posted:

Neither way is "correct," because who fuckin' says so? It's like kitty-corner, catty-corner, cat-a-corner, kit-a-corner, kattywampus, and caddy-corner. Every one of them is "right" to someone, but they're all mispronunciations of "cater-corner," and "cater" itself is a mispronunciation of a French word. Nobody even knows or cares anymore, though, and it doesn't matter anyway, because 90% of the time you're talking to someone who uses the same word as you, and the meaning is understood.

Kattywampus? Kattywampus??? My kin say kittywampus and how dare you mispronounce our most cherished shibboleth. You'd best move along fer sundown. *spits*

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

#GOAT


EKDS5k posted:

You need to travel more. Even within your own country there are hundreds of different dialects where, get this, they talk differently and use different turns of phrase than you. Maybe read a little on how even a single language can change and evolve in different ways in different places.

"Needs replaced" is perfectly intelligible as "needs to be replaced" to the group of people where it originated. Even to outsiders it's more "That's a funny way of saying it." The only people who don't understand "needs ____ed" after more than like a half second of thought are being deliberately obtuse.

Neither way is "correct," because who fuckin' says so? It's like kitty-corner, catty-corner, cat-a-corner, kit-a-corner, kattywampus, and caddy-corner. Every one of them is "right" to someone, but they're all mispronunciations of "cater-corner," and "cater" itself is a mispronunciation of a French word. Nobody even knows or cares anymore, though, and it doesn't matter anyway, because 90% of the time you're talking to someone who uses the same word as you, and the meaning is understood.


They consider themselves different languages, though, not variants of the same one.

Lol what a great rant. There's "different turns of phrase" and "completely broken English grammar that is effectively unintelligible to the overwhelming majority of speakers of the language". Strangely, English actually does have rules in it that have solidified over the centuries, which allow speakers from widespread areas to communicate clearly (and it's a great strength of the language). The broken gibberish you're rushing to defend is useless and unintelligent because of how much vagueness it introduces into the sentence. Does the subject need something in particular to be replaced and the writer just forgot to put that bit in? Does the whole thing need to be replaced and the writer is just being unclear? Did a bunch of letters fall off the sign and was it saying something else entirely?

It's like people who act like the general rules for apostrophes are some arcane science that is incomprehensible and isn't useful in the modern world - they're actually extremely useful for making sense of what you're writing, especially in the written form where tone and context are largely absent. Whilst grammar can be flexible, using words and phrases in too broken a manner inevitably leads to a breakdown in understanding and comprehension.

That's completely aside from the fact that "needs replaced" sounds like a three-year-old trying to explain something. That's the reason people think it's a "funny way of saying it". It sounds, frankly, moronic and is considerably harder to enunciate than just saying it the correct way.

Pharmaskittle
Dec 17, 2007

arf arf put the money in the fuckin bag


Guy: Hey that lightbulb needs replaced.
You: I'm sorry?
Guy: That lightbulb *points at burnt out lightbulb* needs replaced
You: I'm sorry sir, I just can't understand what you're saying.
Guy: THAT-LIGHT-BULB-NEEDS-TO-BE-RE-PLACED

Which one looks stupid in that?

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004

by Cyrano4747


College Slice

Pharmaskittle posted:

Guy: Hey that lightbulb needs replaced.
You: I'm sorry?
Guy: That lightbulb *points at burnt out lightbulb* needs replaced
You: I'm sorry sir, I just can't understand what you're saying.
Guy: THAT-LIGHT-BULB-NEEDS-TO-BE-RE-PLACED

Which one looks stupid in that?

The two toddlers pretending to be a guy in a trenchcoat that haven't learned how to speak proper English yet.

hellotoothpaste
Dec 21, 2006

I dare you to call it a perm again..



MY GIRLFRIEND almost got popped by an "I'm in trouble" scam and I'm real glad I had been reading this thread/staying aware of scam tactics for a long while. Caller was pretending to be a friend of a relative in some sort of tight spot and needed money right now. Was trying to get her to send money via the Cash app (like Venmo/Zelle, I hadn't heard of it at all) and while she is empathetic and was starting to believe, fortunately she isn't gullible and feigned dependence on my decision until I got home and the phone rang again. I picked up and we had a different sort of conversation.

Pretty standard fast-talky, scammy person trying to talk past the ability to process information. Knew an incredible amount about the guy he was pretending to be, including a professional license number which he was far too over eager to share in order build confidence. Told him to slow down and we had a pretty ridiculous "you're a loving idiot scammer and it's obvious" call where he was constantly trying to break off from me to get back to her. I got tired of the call when he started turning it around on me in a poo poo lazy fashion and told her it's probably A Good Idea to block the number. A strange part was that he was pretty adamant about getting on Facetime to prove who he was. That seemed strange to offer that up when clearly this was someone that snagged an identity, and I wasn't going to waste the 10-15 mins where he "can't get video working" or whatever that was probably heading toward, but like.. I dunno, it was oddly confident but in the obvious way sociopaths/narcissists can get when challenged. Either that or it'd help him identify me via connections he'd already made.

One curiosity came to mind after, was what are the chances this is a single direct hit on something like email -> social media accounts -> building up a list of info and relatives to hit, versus that whole thing being sold as a package by a third-party and/or in bulk? It seemed like it would be an awful amount of work to dig up the really comprehensive, but outdated information about not only the mark, but shared acquaintances as well. I've only ever thought about bulk credentials being traded in the dark but it's even scarier if it's large profiles that have been mined from that information.

PS: This thread not needs derailed

hellotoothpaste fucked around with this message at 15:42 on Aug 19, 2018

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

#GOAT


Pharmaskittle posted:

Guy: Hey that lightbulb needs replaced.
You: I'm sorry?
Guy: That lightbulb *points at burnt out lightbulb* needs replaced
You: I'm sorry sir, I just can't understand what you're saying.
Guy: THAT-LIGHT-BULB-NEEDS-TO-BE-RE-PLACED

Which one looks stupid in that?

The first guy, who clearly knows the correct way to phrase the statement to be understood, but instead decided to sound like he was missing a chromosome for a bit?

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004

by Cyrano4747


College Slice

hellotoothpaste posted:

MY GIRLFRIEND almost got popped by an "I'm in trouble" scam and I'm real glad I had been reading this thread/staying aware of scam tactics for a long while. Caller was pretending to be a friend of a relative in some sort of tight spot and needed money right now. Was trying to get her to send money via the Cash app (like Venmo/Zelle, I hadn't heard of it at all) and while she is empathetic and was starting to believe, fortunately she isn't gullible and feigned dependence on my decision until I got home and the phone rang again. I picked up and we had a different sort of conversation.

Pretty standard fast-talky, scammy person trying to talk past the ability to process information. Knew an incredible amount about the guy he was pretending to be, including a professional license number which he was far too over eager to share in order build confidence. Told him to slow down and we had a pretty ridiculous "you're a loving idiot scammer and it's obvious" call where he was constantly trying to break off from me to get back to her. I got tired of the call when he started turning it around on me in a poo poo lazy fashion and told her it's probably A Good Idea to block the number. A strange part was that he was pretty adamant about getting on Facetime to prove who he was. That seemed strange to offer that up when clearly this was someone that snagged an identity, and I wasn't going to waste the 10-15 mins where he "can't get video working" or whatever that was probably heading toward, but like.. I dunno, it was oddly confident but in the obvious way sociopaths/narcissists can get when challenged. Either that or it'd help him identify me via connections he'd already made.

One curiosity came to mind after, was what are the chances this is a single direct hit on something like email -> social media accounts -> building up a list of info and relatives to hit, versus that whole thing being sold as a package by a third-party and/or in bulk? It seemed like it would be an awful amount of work to dig up the really comprehensive, but outdated information about not only the mark, but shared acquaintances as well. I've only ever thought about bulk credentials being traded in the dark but it's even scarier if it's large profiles that have been mined from that information.

PS: This thread not needs derailed

An incredible amount of personal data has been disseminated over the past few years, from hundreds of hacks to companies like Facebook selling it to apparently anyone with money. It's possible most of the information was part of a dump, and the scammer spent a couple minutes researching a bit more before scamming. If you've ever put something online, it's available to bad actors, and some of them are really, really good at social engineering like this even without having most of the info gift-wrapped in an easily obtainable database.

Corsair Pool Boy fucked around with this message at 16:36 on Aug 19, 2018

WithoutTheFezOn
Aug 28, 2005
Oh no

Sanford posted:

I’m a native English speaker and I don’t know what any of that means.
The term means “on the opposite diagonal corner”. Like, SW vs NE.

Sanford
Jun 30, 2007

...and rarely post!



WithoutTheFezOn posted:

The term means “on the opposite diagonal corner”. Like, SW vs NE.

Oh right, thanks. We don’t have that in our hosed up unintelligible dialect speaking backwater (England).

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007





Corsair Pool Boy posted:

An incredible amount of personal data has been disseminated over the past few years, from hundreds of hacks to companies like Facebook selling it to apparently anyone with money. It's possible most of the information was part of a dump, and the scammer spent a couple minutes researching a bit more before scamming. If you've ever put something online, it's available to bad actors, and some of them are really, really good at social engineering like this even without having most of the info gift-wrapped in an easily obtainable database.

If you have access to six big dumps you can probably do a look up to see which identities have certain critical pieces of data and take a few minutes to build the target package.

EKDS5k
Feb 22, 2012

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET YOUR BEER FREEZE, DAMNIT


iajanus posted:

It sounds, frankly, moronic and is considerably harder to enunciate than just saying it the correct way.

Yeah! And while we're at it, black people should quit with the ghetto-speak. Why can't they just learn to talk like normal people?

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




Yikes

epsilon
Oct 31, 2001



EKDS5k posted:

Yeah! And while we're at it, black people should quit with the ghetto-speak. Why can't they just learn to talk like normal people?

Man I know what you were trying to do but chill tf out

iajanus
Aug 17, 2004

#GOAT


EKDS5k posted:

Yeah! And while we're at it, black people should quit with the ghetto-speak. Why can't they just learn to talk like normal people?

Wow

Don Gato
Apr 28, 2013

Actually a bipedal cat.

Grimey Drawer

At this point in time I'm pretty sure telemarketers know more about where I live and my job than my own family does.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

Ask me about my dream Frasier episode where Frasier and Bulldog oil their heads and then rub them together. It's definitely not a fetish of mine, I swear!

Don Gato posted:

At this point in time I'm pretty sure telemarketers know more about where I live and my job than my own family does.

We're beginning to enter a phase where, eventually, companies will have so much information about people that they will know you better than you know yourself. Every advertising experience will involve you having a crushing epiphany about yourself, coming to grips with a savage Truth. Every store will be full of people crying and frantically texting their loved ones while they try to buy some new shoes.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-




Pillbug

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

We're beginning to enter a phase where, eventually, companies will have so much information about people that they will know you better than you know yourself. Every advertising experience will involve you having a crushing epiphany about yourself, coming to grips with a savage Truth. Every store will be full of people crying and frantically texting their loved ones while they try to buy some new shoes.

That's already true. Target knows you're pregnant before you do based on what you buy.

Initio
Oct 29, 2007
!

I mean as scary as that one sounded when it came out, it doesn’t take a marketing genius to figure out that someone who is buying prenatal vitamins might possibly be pregnant and interested in deals on baby stuff.

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004

by Cyrano4747


College Slice

ToxicSlurpee posted:

That's already true. Target knows you're pregnant before you do based on what you buy.

They knew she was pregnant before her father did, because

Initio posted:

it doesn’t take a marketing genius to figure out that someone who is buying prenatal vitamins might possibly be pregnant and interested in deals on baby stuff.

B33rChiller
Aug 18, 2011





Biscuit Hider

A couple days ago I received an email from "Canada Revenue Agency Online Mail"
Ooh, this should be a good one I thought. Wonder how this made it through gmail's spam filter? I curiously opened it to find the contents as below:

CRA posted:

English version *** La version française suit ***

You registered to receive most mail from the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) online instead of on paper in the mail.

Dear *REDACTED*,

There is new mail from the CRA in your My Account which may require your attention.

To view your mail, log in to My Account and select View mail from the sidebar on the left.

If you don't have My Account yet, go to the CRA website and select "Log in / Register" to sign up.

This is an automated email system. Please do not reply to this message.

Version française *** The English version precedes ***

Vous vous êtes inscrit pour recevoir la majorité de votre courrier de l'Agence du revenu du Canada (ARC) en ligne plutôt que par la poste.

Cher/Chère *REDACTED*

Vous avez du nouveau courrier de l'ARC dans « Mon dossier » qui pourrait nécessiter votre attention.

Pour consulter votre courrier, ouvrez une session dans « Mon dossier » et sélectionnez « Voir le courrier » dans le menu latéral gauche.

Si vous n'avez pas encore de compte « Mon dossier », allez sur le site Web de l'ARC et sélectionnez « Ouvrir une session » ou « Inscrivez-vous » pour vous inscrire.

Ce message vous a été transmis par un système de courriel automatisé. Veuillez ne pas y répondre.

Wow! It was legit. Not a single link or url to be found in the message. Just a quick "Yo! You got mail. Log in to your account and read it. You know where to find us."

Corsair Pool Boy
Dec 17, 2004

by Cyrano4747


College Slice

B33rChiller posted:

A couple days ago I received an email from "Canada Revenue Agency Online Mail"
Ooh, this should be a good one I thought. Wonder how this made it through gmail's spam filter? I curiously opened it to find the contents as below:


Wow! It was legit. Not a single link or url to be found in the message. Just a quick "Yo! You got mail. Log in to your account and read it. You know where to find us."

Did they write it in French and then run it through a half dozen other languages on Google translate before converting it to English with no proofing?

B33rChiller
Aug 18, 2011





Biscuit Hider

Corsair Pool Boy posted:

Did they write it in French and then run it through a half dozen other languages on Google translate before converting it to English with no proofing?
That's not entirely unlikely.
That's honestly some of the best written communications I've ever seen from the federal government. I've become so numb to it over the years, I actually didn't see any problems with it. :audible shrug:

edit: "MyAccount" is the brand name they put on whatever online system they have set up for you to access your file with the CRA

Tunicate
May 15, 2012





Corsair Pool Boy posted:

They knew she was pregnant before her father did, because

Also the only source on that is a marketing guy, and lol if you take a marketing guy at his word about how amazing his product is, lying about that is literally his job

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!


Hey, there's a new (?) attack using browser-level input capturing and an official-looking error page to fool a user into calling a scammer's number. The article seems like a bit of a rough translation of the author's Hebrew blog post, so bear that in mind.

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mostlygray
Nov 1, 2012

BURY ME AS I LIVED, A FREE MAN ON THE CLUTCH


hellotoothpaste posted:

MY GIRLFRIEND almost got popped by an "I'm in trouble" scam...

PS: This thread not needs derailed

My very social media savvy friend experienced a similar thing. He should have known better. The scammer got lucky and found out that his cousin was a missionary in central Africa (I forget which country, it was years ago) and did the "send money via Western Union or he'll be murdered" deal. He was freaking out about it.

Fortunately, he had me look at it and I found the origin of the scam and the IP. I told him to email his cousin before panicking. All was well, of course. Sometimes we get blind sided and we freak out. It happens to the best of us. Heck, I bought a coupon book over the phone once when I was broke in college. I still regret that one.

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