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ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-




Pillbug

Wicked Them Beats posted:

On top of schedule and budget Chris also don't know how version numbers work so they're on v2.3 or somewhere thereabouts.

Version numbers are entirely made up and arbitrary.

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The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007



ToxicSlurpee posted:

Version numbers are entirely made up and arbitrary.

But there are traditions.

Anil Dikshit
Apr 11, 2007


I work for an electric utility, and some of our customers have been having a new variation on an old scam, where people pretending to be techs are calling customers and telling them they’re up for disconnect, and they’re giving the customer a final chance to avoid it by paying over the phone, via credit card number or gift card code.

Xequecal
Jun 14, 2005


I have a co worker whose husband was diagnosed with stage 2 colon cancer and she has definitely been suckered by some kind of bullshit.

"I was in there for the consultation and they just immediately want to go in and cut everything out. They weren't willing to even talk about alternatives, just open him up and cut and cut and cut. They say he'll probably have to poop through a hole in his stomach the rest of his life! You know I read about this indigenous tribe in the Andes where nobody ever gets cancer, and It's because they eat tons of peaches. The peach pits have chemicals in them that kill cancer cells and there's doctors in Mexico that will treat your cancer with infusions of this and no surgery. I don't see why we can't at least try it."

I've never even heard of this but I just have no words for someone that responds to a cancer diagnosis with, "I know! Let's fly to rural Mexico and get an IV peach pit infusion!"

JnnyThndrs
May 29, 2001

HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

JFC, Steve McQueen got suckered into that useless crap like 40 years ago and it was widely known to be bullshit even then.

POOL IS CLOSED
Jul 14, 2011

I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.


Pillbug

The peach pit thing is the same as the apricot kernel thing, aka "vitamin b-17." Laetrile and amygdalin been shown to be useless at best. The lady is in denial. Hopefully her husband will make the decisions that are right for him.

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

I hated your old avatar so much I paid for this one from a gay furry visual novel. gay rights and smoke weed every day

Xequecal posted:

I have a co worker whose husband was diagnosed with stage 2 colon cancer and she has definitely been suckered by some kind of bullshit.

"I was in there for the consultation and they just immediately want to go in and cut everything out. They weren't willing to even talk about alternatives, just open him up and cut and cut and cut. They say he'll probably have to poop through a hole in his stomach the rest of his life! You know I read about this indigenous tribe in the Andes where nobody ever gets cancer, and It's because they eat tons of peaches. The peach pits have chemicals in them that kill cancer cells and there's doctors in Mexico that will treat your cancer with infusions of this and no surgery. I don't see why we can't at least try it."

I've never even heard of this but I just have no words for someone that responds to a cancer diagnosis with, "I know! Let's fly to rural Mexico and get an IV peach pit infusion!"

So, your friend is going through the stages of grief, we all go through it in times of death or tragedy and a cancer diagnosis is right up there. Your friend is in total denial mode for now, but please please encourage them to get a second opinion before seeking alt medicine. The peach pit thing is something about using the trace cyanide compounds in the pit as a cheap form of chemo, is not safe or effective. The Mexican infusion thing, I've seen patients who've done this and subsequently had their cancer keep going and eventually died from it. In the cases I've seen it was a long battle with cancer and they went to mexico and got Au, gold, infusions in some hope that this would do something...it did nothing.

fake edit: that said there are doctors who are not the best, who'd love to start doing surgery to charge you more instead of going more conservative routes, which is a type of scam and/or not a scam depending on who you ask (and depending on their outcomes I'm sure). But the alt medicine poo poo is 100 percent a scam for sure.

LifeSunDeath fucked around with this message at 14:53 on Sep 5, 2018

Pharmaskittle
Dec 17, 2007

arf arf put the money in the fuckin bag


Lol isn't that literally the same magic fruit bullshit that killed Steve Jobs?

occamsnailfile
Nov 4, 2007



zamtrios so lonely

Grimey Drawer

I mean I guess when you're facing the incurable grasping at any desperate bullshit can seem worthwhile. I feel sad for the people who go for it, but their choices are limited. My rage is for the ones preying on them.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-




Pillbug

Pharmaskittle posted:

Lol isn't that literally the same magic fruit bullshit that killed Steve Jobs?

No, he did oranges.

Konstantin
Jun 20, 2005
And the Lord said, "Look, they are one people, and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will do; nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them.

occamsnailfile posted:

I mean I guess when you're facing the incurable grasping at any desperate bullshit can seem worthwhile. I feel sad for the people who go for it, but their choices are limited. My rage is for the ones preying on them.

The issue is that with aggressive surgery, the prognosis isn't that bad. If he spends a year or two allowing the cancer to develop while getting alternative medicine it can get much worse. Hopefully his doctor can refer him to an oncologist that can provide a quick, scientifically valid second opinion, while also explaining the consequences of delaying effective treatment and the fact that people with colostomies can live normal lives.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!


ToxicSlurpee posted:

No, he did oranges.

I'm pretty sure it was apples.

Holyshoot
May 5, 2010


If I ever have to poop through a bag I'd rather just die. Sadly though being t1 diabetic something like that is probably coming my way when I'm old.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007




Pooping in a bag isn't that bad. It's easily concealed, increasingly supported in public restrooms and you actually have an advantage at music festivals.

Eric the Mauve
May 8, 2012

Making you happy for a buck since 199X


There's a list of stuff I think I'd rather die than go through. Some of it, like ALS, I'm very sure about. But a lot of it is in the category of it's real easy to say "I'd rather die than..." when death's not actually staring you in the face.

Holyshoot
May 5, 2010


I should probably add a caveat to that. If I'm 70 and all of a sudden get cancer or some other terrible disease. I'm just gonna go out with a bang or blazed out of my mind. Not worth the awfulness that comes with trying to fix that.

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-




Pillbug

Holyshoot posted:

I should probably add a caveat to that. If I'm 70 and all of a sudden get cancer or some other terrible disease. I'm just gonna go out with a bang or blazed out of my mind. Not worth the awfulness that comes with trying to fix that.

That should depend on the cancer, I think. Some of them have very high cure rates if you catch them early enough. I used to work with a dude who was pushing 100 that had cancer three times. Pretty good health otherwise. Interestingly he only worked because he wanted to rather than from that he couldn't afford not to.

Anyway, my thought is similar, though. If it's one of those "you have a 50% chance to live and even if you do you'll have like 2 years, tops, and they'll suck" types of cancer then OK, I'm out. Had a good run. See you on the flip side, folks. Big pharma (a whole scam topic in and of itself) has come under fire for marketing cancer drugs for certain kinds of terminal cancers that cost tens of thousands but maybe give you an extra year of life.

greazeball
Feb 4, 2003





ToxicSlurpee posted:

That should depend on the cancer, I think. Some of them have very high cure rates if you catch them early enough. I used to work with a dude who was pushing 100 that had cancer three times. Pretty good health otherwise. Interestingly he only worked because he wanted to rather than from that he couldn't afford not to.

Anyway, my thought is similar, though. If it's one of those "you have a 50% chance to live and even if you do you'll have like 2 years, tops, and they'll suck" types of cancer then OK, I'm out. Had a good run. See you on the flip side, folks. Big pharma (a whole scam topic in and of itself) has come under fire for marketing cancer drugs for certain kinds of terminal cancers that cost tens of thousands but maybe give you an extra year of life.

What kind of job can still be competently done by a 100-year-old? Academia? I've got lots of teaching colleagues who are noticeably losing a step in their 70s.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

I'm sorry, everyone.

Holyshoot posted:

I should probably add a caveat to that. If I'm 70 and all of a sudden get cancer or some other terrible disease. I'm just gonna go out with a bang or blazed out of my mind. Not worth the awfulness that comes with trying to fix that.

Same. I'm just going to request/demand as many opiates as they'll give me and fade away in a daze.

Holyshoot
May 5, 2010


greazeball posted:

What kind of job can still be competently done by a 100-year-old? Academia? I've got lots of teaching colleagues who are noticeably losing a step in their 70s.

Public office in the United States(or so the government thinks) :laffo:

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

I hated your old avatar so much I paid for this one from a gay furry visual novel. gay rights and smoke weed every day

BiggerBoat posted:

Same. I'm just going to request/demand as many opiates as they'll give me and fade away in a daze.

Yeh, hospice all the way. Snow me out, gently caress it snow me in, don't care.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!


I feel like, instead, this would be a good time to try :lsd:.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007




greazeball posted:

What kind of job can still be competently done by a 100-year-old? Academia? I've got lots of teaching colleagues who are noticeably losing a step in their 70s.

I also know a 99 year old college president who just signs stuff and writes poems all day.

JacquelineDempsey
Aug 6, 2008


My mom had an ileostomy before she died, which is like a colostomy only they route your guts to a bag starting at the small intestine, rather than colon. One of the most heartbreaking conversations I had with her during her last year on earth went like this:

:( : "So, uh, when you got that done... howzit work? Do they sew your butt closed?"
:smith: : "Yep. I don't have a butt anymore."
:( : "...."
:smith: : "...I really miss pooping."

Screw that; if I inherit her weird, rare form of uncurable cancer along with her arthritis and bad knees that I've already got, my plan is:
1. Hike to the top of a remote mountain or cliff
2. Get turbo-high
3. Eat a whole pot of chili
4. Take one last triumphant poo poo
5. Throw myself off said mountain or cliff

fake edit: this is one hella strange derail

jobson groeth
May 17, 2018

by FactsAreUseless


Ask / Tell > Tell me about common cons/scams your suicide plan

Non Serviam
Feb 25, 2006

wAstIng 10 bUcks ON an aVaTar iS StUpid

JacquelineDempsey posted:

My mom had an ileostomy before she died, which is like a colostomy only they route your guts to a bag starting at the small intestine, rather than colon. One of the most heartbreaking conversations I had with her during her last year on earth went like this:

:( : "So, uh, when you got that done... howzit work? Do they sew your butt closed?"
:smith: : "Yep. I don't have a butt anymore."
:( : "...."
:smith: : "...I really miss pooping."

Screw that; if I inherit her weird, rare form of uncurable cancer along with her arthritis and bad knees that I've already got, my plan is:
1. Hike to the top of a remote mountain or cliff
2. Get turbo-high
3. Eat a whole pot of chili
4. Take one last triumphant poo poo
5. Throw myself off said mountain or cliff

fake edit: this is one hella strange derail

They do not sew your butt closed, dude.

Pharmaskittle
Dec 17, 2007

arf arf put the money in the fuckin bag


Your mom got in one last own

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-




Pillbug

jobson groeth posted:

Ask / Tell > Tell me about common cons/scams your suicide plan

Sorry, I gotta go with Tell me about common cons/scams - One Last Triumphant poo poo on this one.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012



greazeball posted:

What kind of job can still be competently done by a 100-year-old? Academia? I've got lots of teaching colleagues who are noticeably losing a step in their 70s.

Stamp dealer or coin dealer

They all seem to be at least 100

Roger Angell still writes great stuff for the New Yorker and he's 97.

JacquelineDempsey
Aug 6, 2008


Pharmaskittle posted:

Your mom got in one last own

As amusing as that would be, just gonna drop this like I'm gonna drop my triumphant deuce one day:

http://www.surgeryencyclopedia.com/Fi-La/Ileostomy.html

quote:

For some patients, an ileostomy is preceded by removal of the colon (colonectomy) or the colon and rectum (protocolectomy). ... The anal canal is stitched closed.

I'll stand corrected that apparently that's not always SOP, as they say "some". But yeah, in some instances, they do.

(Can't wait for THIS conversation later ---
husband: "So what'd you get up tonight?"
me: "Oh, got in a pedantic spat with internet strangers about whether or not you get your butt sewn closed after an ileostomy."
husband: :yikes: )

MisterOblivious
Mar 17, 2010


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rXhAnu5ETU

teh winnar!
Apr 16, 2003


AllNewJonasSalk posted:

Guys, I recently got a job at a call center that seemed like a dream come true. As a felon, there aren't very many jobs in offices that I'm able to get so of course I jumped on the chance to randomly call people on the phone and lower the interest rates on their credit cards.

Sounds like one of three things, two of which actually are legitimate.

"Balance Transfers" are deals that major banks do with their credit cards. The gist of it is that Citibank pays off your Amex and you pay Citibank at a lower (to you) rate. This is genuinely used by people to get their credit card balances under control, as there is a lower rate (When I did these in 2000, purchase rates were 15-20% APR and the balance transfer rates tended to be 2-7%). As long as you cancel those cards you paid off (don't accrue more debt), don't put anything else on the BC card either (payments tend to go towards your lowest rate balances first, meaning if you have $10,000 balance transfer and $5,000 purchases, that 5k will accrue interest at the higher rate the whole time until the 10k is paid of), and don't miss a payment (most BC deals have contracts stating that a single missed payment brings the entire balance to either the purchase rate or the Default rate, which is something insane like Prime plus 20%), you'll do fine. The banks count on either you loving up with the above, or at least reaping the win-win of getting some interest at the lower rate.

"Debt Consolidation" are those things you hear about on the radio, which involves the third party making a deal with your creditors to pay off a portion of what you owe in order for them to call it even, then you pay the debt consolidation place. Much like balance transfers except you get charged an up-front fee. There are ways to do this for free or at a much lower rate than what the consolidators charge, but you're trading time and effort for money there.

Finally, there are scams pretending to be the former, and folks just trying to skim as many details as they can to do some nice identity theft shenanigans.

teh winnar! fucked around with this message at 15:17 on Sep 7, 2018

occamsnailfile
Nov 4, 2007



zamtrios so lonely

Grimey Drawer

teh winnar! posted:

Sounds like one of three things, two of which actually are legitimate.

"Balance Transfers" are deals that major banks do with their credit cards. The gist of it is that Citibank pays off your Amex and you pay Citibank at a lower (to you) rate. This is genuinely used by people to get their credit card balances under control, as there is a lower rate (When I did these in 2000, purchase rates were 15-20% APR and the balance transfer rates tended to be 2-7%). As long as you cancel those cards you paid off (don't accrue more debt), don't put anything else on the BC card either (payments tend to go towards your lowest rate balances first, meaning if you have $10,000 balance transfer and $5,000 purchases, that 5k will accrue interest at the higher rate the whole time until the 10k is paid of), and don't miss a payment (most BC deals have contracts stating that a single missed payment brings the entire balance to either the purchase rate or the Default rate, which is something insane like Prime plus 20%), you'll do fine. The banks count on either you loving up with the above, or at least reaping the win-win of getting some interest at the lower rate.

"Debt Consolidation" are those things you hear about on the radio, which involves the third party making a deal with your creditors to pay off a portion of what you owe in order for them to call it even, then you pay the debt consolidation place. Much like balance transfers except you get charged an up-front fee. There are ways to do this for free or at a much lower rate than what the consolidators charge, but you're trading time and effort for money there.

Finally, there are scams pretending to be the former, and folks just trying to skim as many details as they can to do some nice identity theft shenanigans.

There are also non-profit debt consolidation places--you still pay them but they may get you a better deal since they are less concerned with maximizing their own dollar. To be honest, for-profit debt consolidation as a whole seems pretty scammy to me given the number of fees they charge, and many of them have little incentive to properly relay the payments you make to your creditors so you may end up with late fees and a worse credit score from their negligence. They also don't have a lot of oversight like so many financial ventures.

Banks love balance transfers, they give you the promotional lower rate but they get a fee up front which is more than they would have gotten if your debt stayed with some other bank. They're playing a long game and hoping you gently caress up or don't pay it off in time--or even if you have a lower rate, that is again a customer they stole from another bank. So they're legit, as legit as things get when usury laws have been superseded thanks to the insane US state structure.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

I'm sorry, everyone.

teh winnar! posted:



"Debt Consolidation" are those things you hear about on the radio, which involves the third party making a deal with your creditors to pay off a portion of what you owe in order for them to call it even, then you pay the debt consolidation place. Much like balance transfers except you get charged an up-front fee. There are ways to do this for free or at a much lower rate than what the consolidators charge, but you're trading time and effort for money there.


I did a Debt Consolidation thing after I'd destroyed my credit and scorched my student loans and it worked out pretty well for me. It rolled all my debt into one payment at something like 6% I think and really repaired my credit. Maybe I got lucky or only think it was smart but I was cool with it.

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

I hated your old avatar so much I paid for this one from a gay furry visual novel. gay rights and smoke weed every day

BiggerBoat posted:

I did a Debt Consolidation thing after I'd destroyed my credit and scorched my student loans and it worked out pretty well for me. It rolled all my debt into one payment at something like 6% I think and really repaired my credit. Maybe I got lucky or only think it was smart but I was cool with it.

You think it repaired your credit? Why not just check your score?

Here's a scam I lived through: Scientology!

Grew up totally non-religious, at the age of 10 my mom met a guy who turned out to be a serious conman, married the dude, and he in short order got her spending tons of money at the celebrity center in LA. My step dad turned out to be an old Sea-Org member who somehow got out but still continued to scam people into the church, which we assume was the cost of him getting out of the Sea-Org because normally you get excommunicated when that happens.

Anyway, so I got to experience, taking scientology courses, I went to Delphi Academy for a year which is a private si-ty school celebrities send their kids to. I got taken out of the school for various issues all based in me not giving a poo poo about their "at your own pace" education system that was more or less a recruitment mill for the Sea-Org.

Fast forward to recent few years with all the celebs coming out disclosing about being scammed by the "church" and my mom is breaking down about how much money she spent and how she was conned and all this poo poo. The whole thing is a black mark on our family story, but whatever.

Fun-fact: If you're a really good con-man, you can lie, cheat, steal and gaslight your way through a 5 year marriage and somehow come out getting paid alimony even against good divorce lawyers. What a loving waste of space that dude was.

LifeSunDeath fucked around with this message at 14:50 on Sep 10, 2018

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013





LifeSunDeath posted:

You think it repaired your credit? Why not just check your score?


Try reading that again with the knowledge that the "and" is separating two distinct clauses. He thinks the rate was 6%. It really repaired his credit.

I know he was missing a couple commas there, but it didn't make it unintelligible.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007




LifeSunDeath posted:

Here's a scam I lived through: Scientology!

:kingsley: looking forward to your ama megathread, buddy!

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

I hated your old avatar so much I paid for this one from a gay furry visual novel. gay rights and smoke weed every day

peanut posted:

:kingsley: looking forward to your ama megathread, buddy!

Yeah, I don't have too many more stories. I did go to school with the fat kid from sandlot right before the movie came out, and I told him I didn't believe he was actually in movies, because I was a little shithead. Turned out the dude was in movies and we're not friends :/

There's a ton of good poo poo out there on scientology now, I suggest this podcast because they actually got in pretty deep before being exposed as journalists:

http://ohnopodcast.com/investigations/2016/2/1/ross-and-carrie-audit-scientology-part-1-going-preclear

LifeSunDeath
Jan 4, 2007

I hated your old avatar so much I paid for this one from a gay furry visual novel. gay rights and smoke weed every day

Proteus Jones posted:

Try reading that again with the knowledge that the "and" is separating two distinct clauses. He thinks the rate was 6%. It really repaired his credit.

I know he was missing a couple commas there, but it didn't make it unintelligible.

I was pretty scorched during that reply.

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BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

I'm sorry, everyone.

LifeSunDeath posted:

You think it repaired your credit? Why not just check your score?



No, I meant "I think it was 6%". It DEFINITELY repaired my credit. Poor sentence structure there.

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