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WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012



Linda, you're tearing me apart!

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Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...




Clapping Larry

Linda was always such a hussie. Look how she dresses.

Shugojin
Sep 6, 2007

THE TAIL THAT BURNS TWICE AS BRIGHT...




WrenP-Complete posted:

Linda, you're tearing me apart!

*throws a hollowed out TV chassis out the window*

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

turbomoose posted:



this article popped up on my facebook feed today, arranged marriage gone wrong. https://www.buzzfeed.com/andreborge...xobV#.fvEm4m4M0

I like "too good a husband"

This is hosed up. Dogs are great.

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012
WORST OF ALL THE BENNYS

Zzulu posted:

i love myself

if there was a clone of me i would prob buttfuck myself until i died from exhaustion

The top or the bottom?

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007



I AM A FREE
I AM NOT MAN
A NUMBER




Muldoon

Never mind, I've changed my mind. I disike dogs now

Tricky D
Mar 31, 2005



You gotta be real pathetic in order to be threatened by your woman's dog.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Tricky D posted:

You gotta be real pathetic in order to be threatened by your woman's dog.

What if it was a super huge and expensive dog that also had multiple expensive chronic health issues and was poorly trained and becoming more prone to violent outbursts as it got older?

It'd be me or the fuckin' dog. She'd choose the dog obviously, because she would have shown the poor animal mercy long ago if she weren't being all crazy about her meat property.

It would be a Catch 22, though. Giving up the dog for me would be a terrible choice because I'm a retarded manchild, but keeping the dog would be a terrible choice that would drive away the last vestiges of human contact the woman would likely ever have, which is why she's making a decision between the dog and me in the first place.

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012



Wait is the husband is too good to me person the same as the dog person? I dont get if it's the same story what happened.

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY


Grimey Drawer

Sounds more like at least one person looking for a way out of an arranged marriage.

SatansChoice
Sep 14, 2016

by Smythe


Ratjaculation posted:

Never mind, I've changed my mind. I disike dogs now

Purple too?

DragQueenofAngmar
Dec 29, 2009

You shall not pass!


WrenP-Complete posted:

Wait is the husband is too good to me person the same as the dog person? I dont get if it's the same story what happened.

It sort of looks like he sent her a picture of that story in their chat, but I don't know what the relevance of him doing that would have been

Tricky D
Mar 31, 2005



Pvt.Scott posted:

What if it was a super huge and expensive dog that also had multiple expensive chronic health issues and was poorly trained and becoming more prone to violent outbursts as it got older?

It'd be me or the fuckin' dog. She'd choose the dog obviously, because she would have shown the poor animal mercy long ago if she weren't being all crazy about her meat property.

It would be a Catch 22, though. Giving up the dog for me would be a terrible choice because I'm a retarded manchild, but keeping the dog would be a terrible choice that would drive away the last vestiges of human contact the woman would likely ever have, which is why she's making a decision between the dog and me in the first place.

IDK man. This scenario seems pretty specific and contrived. Like, how do you even get the point of ultimatum if the person you are seeing has such a lovely animal?

AndyElusive
Jan 7, 2007



It came from Facebook.

MY PALE GOTH SKIN
Nov 28, 2006


meow


Was expecting minutes between posts, not hours.

superjew
Sep 5, 2007

No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!


WrenP-Complete posted:

Wait is the husband is too good to me person the same as the dog person? I dont get if it's the same story what happened.

It looks like he sent it in a message, but I have no idea what his point would be.


Some content: I met my partner when she started working at the same brewery that I do. She was persuaded to do so by a few people who already worked here, one of them being another bartender. He met her while they were taking a math class together and kept texting her after that ended.

The following semester she was on campus for a class one day and he texted her warning her that it would probably start storming soon. He kept offering to give her a ride home, stressing how small a deal it was for him to do so, and when she politely declined he still left the offer on the table. When she got out of class there was a heavy downpour and she took him up on the offer. He was apparently pleasant during the ride, but after that he would mention how he came to her rescue every single time he texted her or spoke to her. She came to find out he was bragging about it to mutual friends and probably strangers. When she confronted him about it he apologized profusely and opened up about how lonely he was.

She felt bad and went to lunch with him a couple of times in a casual friendly way. He interpreted it as them dating and told everyone he knew. She found out again and had to confront him again, but kept her distance from him after that. He still texted her constantly but she would only respond occasionally.

We met a few weeks after that. In the beginning she had an irregular schedule, so I used to go to the bar around opening every day and ask one of the bartenders if she was working that day or not. I noticed that he would avoid me when the bar staff got used to my routine. It took a month for her to get more shifts, one of which was Wednesdays with this guy. One afternoon they were opening the bar together and she mentioned me (not in a lovey-dovey way but just happened to mention my name). He asked her if they could talk and then told her that he's been having a very hard time dealing with our relationship. He said their "history" made it difficult and asked her if she could not talk about me at all for a while. She was nice enough to agree, and when she told me I did my best to avoid the subject with him as well. He got over it after a few months.


Not an awful "nice guy", but a nice guy nonetheless.

lohli
Jun 30, 2008


MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:

Was expecting minutes between posts, not hours.

I'm not sure whether or not there is a bright side to his surpassing expectations in this way.

how me a frog
Feb 6, 2014


I went to an event hosted by a female person I know recently and I didn't really feel like going so I told her I didn't know why I even bothered coming cause it wasn't like we were going to gently caress ever on account of her douchebag boyfriend and she said she very much intended to sleep with me on one occasion when she invited me to her place but I decided at the time to bring my girlfriend along so nothing happened. I had no idea. That was my personal recent story, I am a nice man.

darkhand
Jan 18, 2010

This beard just won't do!


I just skip all the middle comments and go straight to the last comment after a few minutes, only in my mind though, not spoken aloud or online, you know, like a normal person.

Stinky_Pete
Aug 15, 2015

Stinkier than your average bear

Lipstick Apathy

If I were a women, I would give affirmative consent by ing and singing "Be My Guest"

personable decorum
Sep 7, 2016

by FactsAreUseless


Stinky_Pete posted:

If I were a women, I would give affirmative consent by ing and singing "Be My Guest"

eye contact does not matter ever

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


Tricky D posted:

IDK man. This scenario seems pretty specific and contrived. Like, how do you even get the point of ultimatum if the person you are seeing has such a lovely animal?

It could happen to anyone.

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl



If you would get rid of a dog for a boyfriend/girlfriend you don't deserve dogs or romance. She did the right thing

extra stout
Feb 24, 2005

ISILDUR's ERR


The Saurus posted:

A loose female acquaintance of mine sends a slave messenger at 1:00am today and asks me if I could chisel something on a Tabulae for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this diptych and lo and behold I can't chisel it. It's written in Greek with circles and curves and I only have a straight chisel so I begin panicking, trying to find a greek slave or a way to chisel the letters. Scouring the vicus yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my Insula.


I finally come up with an idea and I tell the girl, if I can proceed with it. The plan was I would carry my stone tabulae about 2 miles to her house, chisel out the needed letters, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there. I was hoping for at least a hug out of this ordeal.


By the time I get there, I'm wet all over from sweating in the malarial swamp and carrying a heavy motherfucking stone tabulae. The first thing I see upon entering her room (my first time in a girl's bedroom) is a mamillare on her bed.

this post made me laugh, reflect on how the author of the original story is dead, and then type this post

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY


What if both the dog and the boyfriend are poorly trained? Who do you give up in that scenario?

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012



Is someone having sex with a dog?

Coach D.A.R.E.
Sep 14, 2016

by WE B Bourgeois


WrenP-Complete posted:

Is someone having sex with a dog?

I don't think I would gently caress a dog if I was desperate maybe forced but really.

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY


That's like asking "is it raining" because of course it's raining somewhere.

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012



Sure I guess I didn't understand the connection between the dog thing and the husband thing and my mind is reaching?

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY


You just need to try harder. If you're a shrink or a social worker or whatever, life's going to throw crazy poo poo at you.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


WrenP-Complete posted:

Sure I guess I didn't understand the connection between the dog thing and the husband thing and my mind is reaching?

The "dump me or dump the dog" guy texted a screen cap of the news story about the husband who was being divorced for being too nice as a passive aggressive way of telling the woman he was giving his childish ultimatum to that she was making a poor decision, just like the woman in the article.

E: it's also a great self own because he posted an article about a suffocating, controlling d-bag being divorced by his wife who was never allowed to do even the simplest of things.

Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Sep 15, 2016

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012



phasmid posted:

You just need to try harder. If you're a shrink or a social worker or whatever, life's going to throw crazy poo poo at you.

Lol thanks. It's true that I'm a shrink that works at a think tank and my mind is mush right now but I think knowing there's crazy poo poo out there may be why I jumped to "maybe he is accusing her of loving a dog."

Boomzilla
Dec 2, 2007



Some dogs aren't great and some people suck amd it's probably not great to stay in a relationship that hinges on something that petty?

darkhand
Jan 18, 2010

This beard just won't do!


I think if you get upset about your partner's dog, you're probably a codependent piece of garbage anyways.

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY


WrenP-Complete posted:

Lol thanks. It's true that I'm a shrink that works at a think tank and my mind is mush right now but I think knowing there's crazy poo poo out there may be why I jumped to "maybe he is accusing her of loving a dog."
I mean I keep my boyfriend in a cage and call him a dog so the issue is muddy at best.

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012



phasmid posted:

I mean I keep my boyfriend in a cage and call him a dog so the issue is muddy at best.

Well where else are you going to keep a dog like him? The bed?

phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY


WrenP-Complete posted:

Well where else are you going to keep a dog like him? The bed?

Hell no. That's for my dog

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


phasmid posted:

I mean I keep my boyfriend in a cage and call him a dog so the issue is muddy at best.

Some guys have it pretty





















ruff.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

New Year, New Me!

Why would anyone choose to hate women when it's so much more rewarding to hate yourself?

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dads_work_files
May 14, 2008

important_document.avi



"Oh yeah, I'm consumed with feelings of profound inadequacy and need an animal that has been bred to think of me as its boss because it is the only thing I will ever have power and control over in my entire stupid life" - dog owners, probably

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