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CannedMacabre
Jul 6, 2007

In space, no one
can hear you fart.


opus111 posted:

They were called mummy yummies over here and were very much in, but now people call them milfs cos of filthy american soft imperialism.

*in mockingly bad English accent*

"OOOhhhh Oy so do luv a good wanking frum me mums! Ahm such a nawty twidget! Boon poodle mah willy knacker mummsy! Ticker flicker mah bean pole nummy yummy!"

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Roylicious
Feb 21, 2012


opus111 posted:

They were called mummy yummies over here and were very much in, but now people call them milfs cos of filthy american soft imperialism.

Just another thing that America has fixed for you.

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time


Gatekeeper posted:

milves are typically ( in my imagination at least) like the mother of one of your contemporaries and not just a mother, full stop. Like poo poo, a 16 year old girl could be a mother. but she presumably without the interference of bad bad scientists could not be mother to your 20 y/o pal

But the MILFs are my contemporaries but I still consider them MILFs.

opus111
Jul 6, 2014



CannedMacabre posted:

*in mockingly bad English accent*

"OOOhhhh Oy so do luv a good wanking frum me mums! Ahm such a nawty twidget! Boon poodle mah willy knacker mummsy! Ticker flicker mah bean pole nummy yummy!"

geez americans are so bad at this.

CannedMacabre
Jul 6, 2007

In space, no one
can hear you fart.


opus111 posted:

geez americans are so bad at this.

*in mockingly bad English accent*

Roylicious
Feb 21, 2012


At least we don't wank to mummy yummies.

Gross.

opus111
Jul 6, 2014



Roylicious posted:

At least we don't wank to mummy yummies.

Gross.

however, you are responsible for rosebudding.

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time


On the last season of Secret Diary of a Call Girl there was a british actress doing a really bad american accent and for the first time I really understood why british people complain about bad british accents. Not related to porn of course, but the current conversation reminded me of it.

CannedMacabre
Jul 6, 2007

In space, no one
can hear you fart.


I like how an Englishman will bitch about the use of "their language" in the same sentence as "mummy yummies."

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless


Young Orc

Zzulu posted:

I get off on not getting off

Its complicated

Look up "ruined orgasm" for more

Light Gun Man
Oct 17, 2009

toEjaM iS oN
vaCatioN






Lipstick Apathy

Mange Mite posted:

Look up "ruined orgasm" for more

I've had some of these, they were not fun for me.

ConstantDelays
Jan 1, 2013


I'm British and have literally never heard the term 'mummy yummy'. Around my parts we call em 'Methuselah's honeypots'.

ConstantDelays fucked around with this message at 21:08 on Sep 16, 2016

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





I'd just like to question the very notion of an attractive British woman.

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time


ikanreed posted:

I'd just like to question the very notion of an attractive British woman.

Scotland is part of Great Britain.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





Germstore posted:

Scotland is part of Great Britain.

Probably not much longer with the way brexit is playing out.

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"

Grimey Drawer

Germstore posted:

But the MILFs are my contemporaries but I still consider them MILFs.

Yea, many of my friends are now milfs, it is a noble profession with lots of history.

Not related really, but I have generally found that the milfs of my acquaintance who had kids in their mid-late 20's are looking far hotter then the ones who had kids in their mid-late 30's. They also now have kids who are in their teens so they can go out and party again.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


Germstore posted:

But the MILFs are my contemporaries but I still consider them MILFs.

you got old son

life changes in a daily basis

i have a headache juss thinkin bout it

you went from finding your contemporaries moms to be milves because they were like 40 and hot and you were a lil beansprout

Now the milves are your 40 y/o mama friends because they're 40s and hot, but you are a long donger with moons behind you

Time is completely and totally hosed

It's why I am so frequently thinkin about offin meself

Nic Cage dick cage
Jun 23, 2009



Lipstick Apathy

When I got older I was surprised by how many milfs/matures make themselves available and all you have to do is be in decent shape and clean and calm and not a mouth breather etc. It's not all bad unless you are really goony.

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time


Gatekeeper posted:

you got old son

life changes in a daily basis

i have a headache juss thinkin bout it

you went from finding your contemporaries moms to be milves because they were like 40 and hot and you were a lil beansprout

Now the milves are your 40 y/o mama friends because they're 40s and hot, but you are a long donger with moons behind you

Time is completely and totally hosed

It's why I am so frequently thinkin about offin meself

it's at least why i'm often thinking about the logistics of loving my wife's friends, but it always seems more trouble than it's worth.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


loving is def more trouble than it's worth

Krishna gave us a dick that fits.perfectly in one hand And another hand to pleasure the butthole

Just lol if you gently caress

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time


yes, but if you put a dick in a vagina you have four available hands and two bholes and I'm not gonna do the math but that's a lot of possibilities

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"

Grimey Drawer

oncearoundaltair posted:

When I got older I was surprised by how many milfs/matures make themselves available and all you have to do is be in decent shape and clean and calm and not a mouth breather etc. It's not all bad unless you are really goony.

Yea, like, I'm no bodies picnic, but somehow I seem to be more desirable at 38 then I was at 28 or especially 18.

I suspect I was still pretty goony at 28 and was just embarrassing at 18, but still.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


bongwizzard posted:

I seem to be more desirable at 38 then I was at 28 or especially 18.

pics? i already find your intellect diesrable so lemme see some cock cleavage, flash a lil dickneck for me hon, let's see if the sparks fly

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"


I really like to gently caress and hopefully I get sum fuk tonight

Keebler Cookout
Aug 25, 2014

Drinking is important to my well being.

a lot of people want to watch brothers and sisters loving..

would explain why the general population is loving retarded.

Meredith Baxter-Burnout
Jul 4, 2003

It's okay to watch child porn if you don't touch your dick, just raises awareness man.



Germstore posted:

That is not what a MILF is. A milf is a woman of the typical age to have a teenage son, which is to say middle aged.

Pretty much. Not really a MILF unless she's old enough to be your mother.

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"

Grimey Drawer

Gatekeeper posted:

a lil dickneck

It's actually pretty hard to take a flattering picture of the dickneck region. I did waste about 20 minutes at work trying, so thanks for that at least.

CannedMacabre
Jul 6, 2007

In space, no one
can hear you fart.


Have we nailed down the universally accepted definition of MILF yet? It is of vital importance. I need to know this before I can give my doodle a motherly tug.

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"

Grimey Drawer

It a mom I'd like to gently caress, don't over think it.

I contend that June Cleaver is the ur-milf.

Big Bad Voodoo Lou
Jan 1, 2006


ConstantDelays posted:

90% of women are either BWs or BWs. Why is a true BBW such a rarity is my question.

Angelina Castro.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009


I also like them fat and ugly, it's so hot

china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX


Plaster Town Cop

milf is in the eye of the fucker

NO FUCK YOU DAD
Oct 23, 2008

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU


Oldstench posted:

Kelly Wells
Sex with Kelly Wells would be fun in the same way as a flight in a fighter jet or being a passenger in a demolition derby, only for your dick. Sure, sex with hot girls who aren't crazy is alright, but dipping your balls into a girl's distended anus while she recites her times tables is an experience.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


NO gently caress YOU DAD posted:

Sex with Kelly Wells would be fun in the same way as a flight in a fighter jet or being a passenger in a demolition derby, only for your dick. Sure, sex with hot girls who aren't crazy is alright, but dipping your balls into a girl's distended anus while she recites her times tables is an experience.

life begins when she screams choo-choo train noises


bongwizzard posted:

It's actually pretty hard to take a flattering picture of the dickneck region. I did waste about 20 minutes at work trying, so thanks for that at least.

thank you for trying

Sentient Data
Aug 31, 2011

My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!


River Zapata posted:

a lot of people want to watch brothers and sisters loving..

I've heard that's not the case for most people - it was explained to me that it's basically the only kind of porn left right now that even tries to have any kind of story or seduction. I doubt it's much better than a pizza delivery person, but it sounds better than most porn of "ay gurl lets make some goatman fanart"

LGD
Sep 25, 2004




Sentient Data posted:

I've heard that's not the case for most people - it was explained to me that it's basically the only kind of porn left right now that even tries to have any kind of story or seduction. I doubt it's much better than a pizza delivery person, but it sounds better than most porn of "ay gurl lets make some goatman fanart"

well and if you are a fan of the plotless "lets gently caress" variety it's pretty easy to ignore the narrative, and the actual sex depicted tends to be pretty straightforward/normal so it seems like you'd be able to appeal to pervs and 'normals' at the same time, which is a pretty good trick that you can't do with a lot of other taboo sex stuff

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler

Pillbug

Mais ou sont le milfs d'antan?

star eater
Jan 1, 2006






Fallen Rib

I wanna know what the stars that don't have sex get paid. The guy getting cuvked, the "parents"., Etc

Sometimes they participate a little or not at all but are always usually stars themselves, not Craigslist randoms

But I assume they get like, what, union wages???

Roylicious
Feb 21, 2012


Watch a lot of c uck porn do you?

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Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




Germstore posted:

On the last season of Secret Diary of a Call Girl there was a british actress doing a really bad american accent and for the first time I really understood why british people complain about bad british accents. Not related to porn of course, but the current conversation reminded me of it.

In The Wire, British Dominic West played American Jimmy McNulty who at one point had to go under-cover as a British guy and used an appallingly terrible English accent and the layers made it amazing

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