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naem
May 29, 2011



GreatGreen posted:

A woman passionately moans and arches her back in ecstasy, running her fingers through her own hair with one hand and gently reaches for the safety and strength of the back of her lover's neck with the other as all her curves bounce and shake in steady, seductive rhythm.

*camera focuses angrily on ultra-closeup of dude's chode the whole time*

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WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010





GreatGreen posted:

A woman passionately moans and arches her back in ecstasy, running her fingers through her own hair with one hand and gently reaches for the safety and strength of the back of her lover's neck with the other as all her curves bounce and shake in steady, seductive rhythm.

*camera focuses angrily on ultra-closeup of dude's chode the whole time*

This right here is why I prefer lesbian porn.

E: VVV (only after washing hands, natch)

WampaLord fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Aug 30, 2016

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

Sorry guys, I'm just a donut.



WampaLord posted:

This right here is why I prefer lesbian porn.

Yeah probably 90% of the time

Laurenz
Dec 21, 2015

They call him little janny hotpockets. He was terrific, he was the best, and he did it for free too.


I swear they always make the angles in straight porn as terrible as they can.

I don't wanna see some dude's hairy rear end crack, I'll stick to lesbian thanks

Cocksmith
Dec 28, 2012

by FactsAreUseless


you're supposed to imagine that it's YOUR hairy rear end crack

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015


I gots no rear end.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009



hehe, that's a good smiley

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


I was gonna say "I just heard somewhere that as weird as it sounds, people overwhelmingly prefer seeing a close up of the guys puckered bumhole as he furiously nails some junkie to a mattress" but now that I think about it the "somewhere" was almost certainly this thread

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless


how come she's gotta be a junkie

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


MEATHOLES is forever! They make bitches cum! They got no choice. Respect the cock motherfuckers. God Bless.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


Moridin920 posted:

how come she's gotta be a junkie

to truly appreciate heaven u gotta live thru hell

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

Sorry guys, I'm just a donut.



Gatekeeper posted:

to truly appreciate heaven u gotta live thru hell

as the great blind tuvan throat singer Paul Pena said "You know you got to go through hell,
Before you get to heaven,
Big ol' jet airliner,
Don't carry me too far away,
Oh, oh big ol' jet airliner,
Cause it's here that I've got to stay"

And it continues in that fashion until he starts singing like popeye

red19fire
May 26, 2010



Flesh Forge posted:



e: NOT TRADEMARKED

There was already a company that tried this and flamed out. IIRC the only successful projects were anime-related and 3D printed butt plugs.

Decrepus
May 21, 2008

In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.


Why did the trend of having the guy/guys cum on plates, cups, etc start? I remember seeing it years ago and apparently it is still around? Because

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Switchblade Switcharoo

Decrepus posted:

Why did the trend of having the guy/guys cum on plates, cups, etc start? I remember seeing it years ago and apparently it is still around? Because

Wut are u watching? That's gay.

Sir Not Appearing
Apr 26, 2004



Decrepus posted:

Why did the trend of having the guy/guys cum on plates, cups, etc start? I remember seeing it years ago and apparently it is still around? Because

The ones where the girls do santorum shooters after a good anal pounding are always classy.

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

WampaLord posted:

This right here is why I prefer lesbian porn.

E: VVV (only after washing hands, natch)

The inverse: camera keeps panning up to the woman's face and every time it does, she notices and tries to mug the camera with a really fake desultory expression.

Borneo Jimmy
Feb 27, 2007

by Smythe


It's me, I'm the guy who asked to make ladies rimming dudes a standard in contemporary pornographs

The White Dragon
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!


Decrepus posted:

Why did the trend of having the guy/guys cum on plates, cups, etc start? I remember seeing it years ago and apparently it is still around? Because

it has since evolved into cumming on figures, like garden gnomes, lawn flamingos, etc

Flesh Forge
Jan 31, 2011

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG

red19fire posted:

There was already a company that tried this and flamed out. IIRC the only successful projects were anime-related and 3D printed butt plugs.

awwww

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013



GORILLA BASTARD posted:

MEATHOLES is forever! They make bitches cum! They got no choice. Respect the cock motherfuckers. God Bless.

PYF Things You Heard in Line Waiting for Methadone

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009



Lipstick Apathy

Leroy Dennui posted:

I just read a Tijuana bible where Wimpy watches a post-boob job Olive Oyl masturbate and then steps into her room and fucks her. Popeye ends up catching them in the act only to whip out his massive penis and join them, ending the story with Wimpy doing anal on him while Popeye's schlong ends up going through Olive Oyl's mouth all the way from her vagina.

Well blow me down!

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.


Germstore posted:

I for one have fully embraced Idaho Spud.

He gazed up at the enormous spud. Four years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark eyes. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two tater-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved The Idaho Spud.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


do they still do the "girl blowing a two foot long dildo while the camera guy makes cumsounds and pretends it's his dick and then finally they hose the girl down with a gallon of tzatsiki sauce"? that was good imo and should have evolved further until the dildo was so enormous the girls had to unhook their jaws like snakes just to get the tip in their mouth and then they get waterboarded with a bathtubs worth of yoghurt

the Pixies fukken SUCKED
Jul 16, 2003

Figure 2 in a series of 3


I am Toni Lippi posted:

Oh yeah thanks for reminding me to watch some porn today. I almost forgot to.

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat




red19fire posted:

There was already a company that tried this and flamed out. IIRC the only successful projects were anime-related and 3D printed butt plugs.
And furry poo poo.

It was called Offbeatr; The F+ had an episode about it.

Laurenz
Dec 21, 2015

They call him little janny hotpockets. He was terrific, he was the best, and he did it for free too.


Gatekeeper posted:

do they still do the "girl blowing a two foot long dildo while the camera guy makes cumsounds and pretends it's his dick and then finally they hose the girl down with a gallon of tzatsiki sauce"? that was good imo and should have evolved further until the dildo was so enormous the girls had to unhook their jaws like snakes just to get the tip in their mouth and then they get waterboarded with a bathtubs worth of yoghurt

theyve probably stepped it up since then

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012



the fake penis porn in funny in how emasculating it has to be for the male performer

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010



I only watch chinese cartoon porn so I never even noticed.

limaCAT
Dec 22, 2007

il pistone e male


Slippery Tilde

8 track betamax posted:

here is an idea: stop watching this disgusting filth ---> <--- you animals

Gobblecoque
Sep 6, 2011


I like my girls like I like my music:

Traps

Ork of Fiction
Jul 22, 2013

In paradise, your teeth will grow back. I promise!
In paradise, I'll hide my laughter. I promise!


KomodoWagon posted:

My true desire is watching an actual porn movie - that is, a movie with an actual story, decent-good acting, and copious amounts of loving. If there's no reason for what's going on to be going on, I start to lose interest no matter how hardcore the action is. I've browsed Mr. Skin to find movies with explicit scenes, but they often only have one or two fairly short sequences and I end up having to watch two hours of pretentious sub-par French cinema just to get my rocks off.

You got a near miss here. What you're looking for is Spanish Cinema. Not as pretentious, but they still gently caress.

red19fire
May 26, 2010



Sham bam bamina! posted:

And furry poo poo.

It was called Offbeatr; The F+ had an episode about it.

Ha, that's right.
If you think Kickstarter has a problem with charlatans taking fools' money and disappearing, have I got a website for you!

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



Gobblecoque posted:

I like my girls like I like my music:

Traps
What ever do you mean?

P-Mack
Nov 10, 2007



red19fire posted:

Ha, that's right.
If you think Kickstarter has a problem with charlatans taking fools' money and disappearing, have I got a website for you!

I imagine it's difficult to put together a class action lawsuit of defrauded horse dildo enthusiasts.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


red19fire posted:

Ha, that's right.
If you think Kickstarter has a problem with charlatans taking fools' money and disappearing, have I got a website for you!

gofundme.com?

A Stupid Baby
Dec 31, 2002

lip up fatty


P-Mack posted:

I imagine it's difficult to put together a class action lawsuit of defrauded horse dildo enthusiasts.

lol you said "hard"

Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004

by WE B Bourgeois


Pvt.Scott posted:

gofundme.com?
You're posting in it.

A Stupid Baby
Dec 31, 2002

lip up fatty


I want porn where the guy is an older gentleman who cant get it up as easy as he used to anymore and the woman is being really supportive and so she brings in another dude and they have sex and then he gets a boner so she starts loving him and he cums so hard he has a heart attack and the video ends with him waking up in the hospital with the woman kissing him on the forehead and telling him she loves him

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Laurenz
Dec 21, 2015

They call him little janny hotpockets. He was terrific, he was the best, and he did it for free too.


A Stupid Baby posted:

I want porn where the guy is an older gentleman who cant get it up as easy as he used to anymore and the woman is being really supportive and so she brings in another dude and they have sex and then he gets a boner so she starts loving him and he cums so hard he has a heart attack and the video ends with him waking up in the hospital with the woman kissing him on the forehead and telling him she loves him

romance + cuckoldry

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