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MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Bummey posted:

I would but my main poop room is disconnected from the bathroom proper and it doesn't have a power outlet. rip

Friend you don’t need a power outlet. Just water.


Seriously even with a great diet a nice rear end in a top hat washing after you poo poo is amazing.

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Bummey
May 26, 2004

you are a filth wizard, friend only to the grumpig and the rattata

MarcusSA posted:

Friend you don’t need a power outlet. Just water.


Seriously even with a great diet a nice rear end in a top hat washing after you poo poo is amazing.

All the ones I googled require power. Hmmmmmmmm

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
a bidet doesn't feel weird?

Bummey
May 26, 2004

you are a filth wizard, friend only to the grumpig and the rattata

eonwe posted:

a bidet doesn't feel weird?

it feels the good kind of weird

binge crotching
Apr 2, 2010

eonwe posted:

a bidet doesn't feel weird?

You get used to it by about the second time you take a crap.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel
Everyone's bathroom is big enough to hold not one but two toilet sized devices.

Jingleheimer
Mar 30, 2006
Incredible Savings: Costco Has Started Selling A Jumbo, Family-Sized Condom That Several Men Can Wear Together

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Everyone's bathroom is big enough to hold not one but two toilet sized devices.

Hello my friend,

You don’t need a second toilet. Modern bidets attach to your regular toilet and clean you rear end in a top hat quite nicely.

It really is a life changing experience.

Namaste 🙏🏻

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost
Skip the bidet. Hook up a power wash.

Bummey
May 26, 2004

you are a filth wizard, friend only to the grumpig and the rattata

Gatts posted:

Skip the bidet. Hook up a power wash.

Use a media blaster. Really get rid of all that poo detritus. Remove several layers of skin. Dig deep.

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy
Just install a toilet inside the shower. Never use toilet paper ever again AND get squeaky clean after your massive GOON SHITS from eating all these god drat dogs.

Spread em

A Pack of Kobolds
Mar 23, 2007



S-s-s-s-s-sandblast that turd

fordham
Oct 5, 2002

Your argument is invalid.
Exciting Lemon

A Pack of Kobolds posted:

S-s-s-s-s-sandblast that turd

That's not what toilet paper is for... :confused:

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
im on my way home with a lot including a blanket and a rotisserie chicken

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
I may have ripped off a piece of chicken when I got to the car

its everything you promised

Bummey
May 26, 2004

you are a filth wizard, friend only to the grumpig and the rattata

eonwe posted:

I may have ripped off a piece of chicken when I got to the car

its everything you promised

the real pro move is to eat the rotisserie chicken as you wander the store

Development
Jun 2, 2016

Bummey posted:

the real pro move is to eat the rotisserie chicken as you wander the store

while wearing the costco pyjamas

Schmeichy
Apr 22, 2007

2spooky4u


Smellrose

Development posted:

while wearing the costco pyjamas

Stop following me

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
this blanket is like god himself hugging me

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

by Shine

Involuntary Sparkle posted:

I buy the Tillamook brand cheese snacks, individually wrapped. They're good for about 4 months in the fridge. Likely to be a regional thing for the brand, but I think all US Costcos have some kind of cheese snack.

Individually-wrapped cheese snacks existing in your fridge in quantities greater than (or equal to) 1 is just the universe’s way of telling you that you aren’t eating enough individually-wrapped cheese snacks, hth?

Powershift
Nov 23, 2009


Schadenboner posted:

Individually-wrapped cheese snacks existing in your fridge in quantities greater than (or equal to) 1 is just the universe’s way of telling you that you aren’t eating enough individually-wrapped cheese snacks, hth?

Solution to both problems being discussed on this page.

Eat enough individually-wrapped cheese snacks and you won't even be able to poop!

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Powershift posted:

Solution to both problems being discussed on this page.

Eat enough individually-wrapped cheese snacks and you won't even be able to poop!

I'd that were true I would have stopped pooping a long time ago.

Hypnolobster
Apr 12, 2007

What this sausage party needs is a big dollop of ketchup! Too bad I didn't make any. :(

i actually just reincarnate after a poop

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
Went tonight to get a 4-pack of Choice NY Strip Steaks (one in the sous vide machine right now :D).

Also got frozen zuccini strings for a sorta pasta substitute and some REALLY stank rear end moldy cheese from Jasper Hills.

Ran into my nextdoor neighbor because we both have good taste and know good deals. :cool::respek::cool:

The Slack Lagoon
Jun 17, 2008



Is Costco not carrying the FoodSaver vacuum sealers anymore? I don't see them on the website.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

MarcusSA posted:

Get a bidet and stop worrying about all this poo poo.

This

or this: https://www.amazon.com/Premium-Stainless-Bathroom-Handheld-Sprayer/dp/B01A9A9MUO/

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

by Shine

quote:

Aqua Nexis hand held bidet sprayer is engineered from SOLID stainless steel and lead-free brass to last a lifetime (no rustable chrome plating here!)

:getin:

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

eonwe posted:

a bidet doesn't feel weird?

People are stupid about it until they do it once

It does a much better job much more quickly, doesn't waste a bunch of paper or clog your toilet, etc

If you smeared poo poo on your floor would you just wipe it around with dry paper or would you use some water to clean it up

pacerhimself
Dec 30, 2008

by Fluffdaddy

The Slack Lagoon posted:

Is Costco not carrying the FoodSaver vacuum sealers anymore? I don't see them on the website.

My Canadian store might be in a whole different world, but a week ago, mine had them.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

raton posted:

People are stupid about it until they do it once

It does a much better job much more quickly, doesn't waste a bunch of paper or clog your toilet, etc

If you smeared poo poo on your floor would you just wipe it around with dry paper or would you use some water to clean it up

Yeah I honestly can’t believe I went 30 something years without one.

Like the toilet paper savings alone pays for the drat thing.

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel
Are you guys talking about the ones that attach to the rim of your toilet or whatever? Does that make the toilet harder to clean? Can it be removed easily? What kind of water source do you hook it up to? Would you get some sort of splitter running off the main intake?

Always wanted to get one but figured it'd be a hassle.

Also winters are cold here. Will I get an ice stalagtite hanging off my butthole if I don't turn the heat up?

Pennywise the Frown fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Dec 15, 2018

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Are you guys talking about the ones that attach to the rim of your toilet or whatever? Does that make the toilet harder to clean? Can it be removed easily? What kind of water source do you hook it up to? Would you get some sort of splitter running off the main intake?

Always wanted to get one but figured it'd be a hassle.

Also winters are cold here. Will I get an ice stalagtite hanging off my butthole if I don't turn the heat up?

I like the kind I linked to -- basically one of those things that sprays your dishes in your sink but attached to your shitter, you can install them yourself very easily, there aren't issues with loving around with your toilet seat (putting bigger bumpers on there, that kind of stuff)

I don't care about the little bit of cold water

The regular bidets can make your toilet harder to clean because there's anotehr part that hangs down but it's not that bad, just one more thing to wipe off, most of them are designed with relatively easy cleaning in mind and many have a self-wash for the nozzle

The deluxe ones that are like a whole new topper for your toilet have hot and cold and all that stuff and for most bathrooms that will mean calling your plumber to get the hot plumbed in to it and maybe run electricity to it and the units themselves cost a couple hundred

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

The one I have attaches to the seat and does not make the toilet any harder to clean.

McGurk
Oct 20, 2004

Cuz life sucks, kids. Get it while you can.

Toilets clean themselves every time you flush anyways.

FCKGW
May 21, 2006

i don't like wet buttholes idk what to tell you people

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

FCKGW posted:

i don't like wet buttholes idk what to tell you people

Sorry about your dirty butthole.

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
the skin on that rotisserie chicken is delicious

El Jebus
Jun 18, 2008

This avatar is paid for by "Avatars for improving Lowtax's spine by any means that doesn't result in him becoming brain dead by putting his brain into a cyborg body and/or putting him in a exosuit due to fears of the suit being hacked and crushing him during a cyberpunk future timeline" Foundation

TheManWithNoName posted:

Toilets clean themselves every time you flush anyways.

Not the way I do it.

And not unrelated...

eonwe posted:

the skin on that rotisserie chicken is delicious

Im Ready for DEATH
Oct 5, 2016

eonwe posted:

the skin on that rotisserie chicken is delicious

woe be to he who throws away the skin of the rotiss'

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Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

bernard stieglers noetic processes of proletarization and the pharmakon, debord's spectacle, and even baudrillardian ideas of simulacra of signifiers and language are basically cybernetics.

eonwe posted:

the skin on that rotisserie chicken is delicious

for sure

its kinda shameful ive been going to costco/priceclub since like early 90s and it wasnt until last year i got the rotissere chicken

rip dem savings


i bought this $9.99 rotiss miso chicken from whole foods, it was loving trash garbage compared to costco's chicken and 2x the price

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