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Mr Fronts posted:WHAT IS AGILE? WHAT IS SCRUM?  Sounds very accurate. I will steal it at first available opportunity.
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Mar 24, 2018 12:02
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I wish I hadn't asked 
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Mar 24, 2018 12:03
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Welcome to the
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So things Im seeing. Quarterly patches are a marketing ploy that they are already trying to exploit, not that there is a while lot of content in the patch or that the real test is that its sustainable in the long run. FFXIV has had quarterly patches now since its rerelease and theyve had to cut content from them through the years because the staff was burning out and they are still a million times more robust than what CIG is pushing out. Hell, the in between patch they come up with now is more robust than 3.1 The survey is both for marketing and to use as an excuse for when things get delayed. They can always go “oh the survey made us change direction so these features will be delayed slightly. And the evangelists will just blame themselves for the delays like theyve done with the scope creep. Also how the gently caress are you going to react that quickly to something thats gonna come out in a few months. The things that should be pushed out in the next patch should be things youve been working on now for at least 3 months Cao Ni Ma fucked around with this message at 12:23 on Mar 24, 2018 |
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Mar 24, 2018 12:15
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SomethingJones posted:Star Citizen: Reverse the Verse LIVE - Alpha 3.2 Feature Survey w/ Chris Roberts quote:that you will be happy with thats thats the thats definately 3.2 *mumbling* but in terms of other ones yeah we would like to know some priorities because if we are going to add some stuff to 3.2.. to zero some gain we have to shift some other stuff out so aah u know whats more interesting is is umm u know repair more interesting than salvage more interesting than refueling those kind of things *claps* so I know this kinda this cynicum
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Mar 24, 2018 12:21
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The beauty of the CIG polling tactic is the way they leave the poll open after a decision is made. That way all the citizens can fall into line after the fact and vote for the option that already "won" the poll, making them feel satisfaction that they voted for the "winning" item, even if it was after it already won. It also makes for an even wider margin for CIG to point to later on down the line. It worked before.
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Mar 24, 2018 12:21
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G0RF posted:THE POLL - TEXT & SUBTEXTS Not sure I get the poll actual message to backers. On the one hand CIG says they would like to stop scope creep for a while and improve existing mechanics. On the other the poll itself is all about new mechanics. What gives?
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Mar 24, 2018 12:46
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Cao Ni Ma posted:So things Im seeing. Quarterly patches are a marketing ploy that they are already trying to exploit, not that there is a while lot of content in the patch or that the real test is that its sustainable in the long run. FFXIV has had quarterly patches now since its rerelease and theyve had to cut content from them through the years because the staff was burning out and they are still a million times more robust than what CIG is pushing out. Hell, the in between patch they come up with now is more robust than 3.1 It's exactly what Chris said it was, it's to regain trust. They never met a date so now let's meet some dates, but they can't manage the features that the dates were for in the first place. The astroturfing for the quarterly releases was underway a month ago, as each quarter release presents 'progress' and as long as there's progress there is no need for concern. They are taking basic steps in response to 'something' and I think G0rf might have completely nailed it with his 'phantom crash' supposition. The feature poll is chapter one in Marketing For Dummies.
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Mar 24, 2018 12:47
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MedicineHut posted:Not sure I get the poll actual message to backers. On the one hand CIG says they would like to stop scope creep for a while and improve existing mechanics. On the other the poll itself is all about new mechanics. What gives?  Crobblers is lying out his rear end. Again.
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Mar 24, 2018 12:52
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tooterfish posted:After that I'd build whatever I'd found decent items for, and then I'd go off and die like a chump to something stupid and the cycle would begin anew. Yup. Put on a coat, listen to "That's Life" by Sinatra on youtube, tell myself computer games are stupid and a waste of my time then go to the pub. Come back from the pub, fire up a game and be terrible all over again. goto 10
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Mar 24, 2018 13:01
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Meanwhile, inside an unassuming building, somewhere in Southern Paarpania... "Good morning everyone, and welcome to DhowSha Communications! My name is Havno Morales, Regional Manager, and I'll be leading your induction today. You should all have received your staff passes and the Welcome Pack, which contains everything you need to find your assigned cubicle and designated team leader, your logon details, and a rundown of the facilities of the system. Those of you who have been with us before may see that this is an unusually large group for an induction, but as you'll all be working on the same campaign, it made sense to go through it together. So let's begin..." A Powerpoint presentation starts... "The campaign you'll be working on is for one of our most long-standing and important clients. As you can see from the slide, our engagement-level has steadily increased over the last 5 years. Today we estimate our penetration into the Target Population to be between 55 and 60 percent. Although this is very high when compared to other campaigns, in this case, the remaining Authentics have a particularly high Value Factor to our Client, which more than compensates for the sub-optimal penetration level. However, due to the high percentage, it is imperative you cross-check intented Targets on the Masterlist before engaging. Otherwise at this point, a Circle Condition is very likely to arise". Next slide... "The Target Population has been divided into are three sub-groups, which we call Assets, Neutrals and Hostiles. You'll find a quick identification chart for these hanging in your cubicle to help you get started. The full definitions are available in the Campaign Knowledgebase. The last group are currently our Client's priority, but I'll touch on other two groups first." Next slide... "Assets - When acting in accordance with 'Approved Behaviour', Assets should be encouraged to continue with their current behaviour - see 'Procedure 3' for details. Assets should also be defended when attacked by others for doing so - follow 'Procedure 6' for this. Ideally, you'll be able to successfully encourage the Asset to increase self-engagement, whilst at the same time, track and suppress any tendancies that endanger our Client's interests. Avoid the expense of using any 'Deep Reasoning' approaches for this group, as our analytics show them to be more than usually resistant, and in this case, use of DR also risks a Logical Conflict arising. Our Client produces plenty of Magpie Material that you can use to entrench, and referencing this material is usually sufficient. "When suspected of NOT conforming to AP, Assets should be flagged in the Masterlist and passed to a fellow Operator who is Correction Agent rated. The CA will be selected by your Team Leader automatically when you flag the Asset with 'Code PR'. If you yourself are rated CA, maintain ownership of the Asset and follow 'Procedure 4' as detailed in the KB, but don't forget to flag the Asset as 'Code PR' because this is critical to the Analytics & Tracking Department. "It's been shown that with careful handling, an Asset can be developed to the point where it becomes Self-Seeding. This advanced level of cultivation is a specialist task, so you won't be expected to achieve results like that. Good job if you do manage to do it though! We have a bonus system for any Accounts that qualify for promotion to Star status." Next slide... "Neutrals - You would not normally engage with this group, as our Client has specialist Conversion & Cultivation teams for this task. However, in the past, we've found Hostiles that have been identified as masquarading as Neutrals. 'Procedure 1 - Addendum 6' contains the specific steps/communications needed to determine the true Neutrals, which once identified, should not engaged further. However, if you identify a Psuedo-Neutral, first check the Dossier to see if there is an existing entry - remember to use the 'Global with Aliases' option to perform a full Interlink search. Confirm any links above a 75% confidence level, and BlackFlag any links above a 98% confidence level. New BlackFlag links trigger an automatic notification to be sent to the relevant Direct Action Team. If you get no results from the search, don't try to create a new Dossier entry - you won't be able to as you don't have the clearance or training on the system. Instead flag the Psuedo-Neutral as 'Code CT' and pass to your team leader for escalation as a Priority 1 Action." Next slide... "Hostiles - As I said before, this third and final group are currently our Client's priority. There has been a marked increase in the prevalence of this group, more than typical trend at this stage of a campaign. We do have a good idea where they're being made, and have identified three particular locations as primary breeding-grounds, but the DAT's efforts to eradicate them at source have so far not been as successful as planned. "Hostiles will therefore be your primary engagement group. This group has the potential to impact both Current and Predicted VF of our Client's Assets, as well as making it harder to convert Neutrals into Assets. "When engaging Hostiles, the tactical focus should be on the 'Confuse', 'Reflect', and 'Disregard' methods of the SaT list. The 'Deep Reasoning' method should generally be avoided because past experience has shown that for this particular campaign, the DR method usually leads to a Terminal condition due to a cross-referencing error, exacerbating the issue. In rare, specific instances, DR may be authorised, but even then only to those Operatives who are at least Level 4 Background Knowledge certified, and who will be familiar with the logical traps and pitfalls to avoid. "For those who haven't yet had the opportunity to go through the SaT:" Next slide... "Confuse - Respond with an entirely different argument, or no argument at all. Repetition is your friend here". Next slide... "Reflect - we've identified the areas of controversy being directed towards our Client. These are listed in Resource Document 3 on the KB, which is updated on a regular basis. Pick one and accuse the Hostile of doing it. Particularily effective when combined with the Confuse method". Next slide... "Disregard - You should be familiar with this stalwart method already, but we've added a fallback routine specifically for this campaign. We call it 'SmartArse', and have found it to be extremely effective due to its Deflection Value. There have been reports of timing issues and a tendency for it to Go Critical unexpectedly though , so use with caution. Next slide... "You'll find a complete Glossary of Terms in the KB, and to help you meet your Daily Performance Targets, a full Response Tree is available, which should suffice for most situations. You can find it in the KB too. Any situation not encompassed by the RT should be handled by a generic Fluff response. "Oh, and most importantly, you'll find that a few of the Targets, which can be of any sub-group, are GoldFlagged in the Masterlist. If you encounter any of these, do not engage under any circumstances. If a GoldFlagged target enagages one of your Accounts, always ignore it. "My collegue, Douche Bagge, will be going into more depth with regard to engaging Hostiles in the training session after lunch, so finally..."" Next slide... "To start you off, you've each been assigned 200 Accounts - enough to provide sufficient depth on all the major platforms. The Accounts are auto-generated on our system in advance, complete with plausable histories. Get to know your Accounts, their personas, and their histories. We'll be assigning additional Accounts to you periodically, as well as removing those that have either exhausted their usefulness or qualified for Star status. We expect you to create content for most of your Accounts daily, and use them in mutual support. Our system has a full suite of proxies available, and each Account will use a different proxy automatically, so Traceback won't be an issue. "You'll find that some of your Accounts are Client-centric. Use these as you would the others, but you'll occasionally receive additional Voting Directives for them. "Well, I hope you'll enjoy being part of our friendly family. With hard work, you'll find your time here very rewarding. Once again, welcome to DhowSha Communications. I think it's close enough to lunchtime that we can call a break, so if you'd like to familiarise yourselves with the layout, have a look around, and eat your lunch, feel free, and Douche will see you back here in... 12 minutes".
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Mar 24, 2018 13:27
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Mr Fronts posted:TEAM BASED AGILE SCRUM 
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Mar 24, 2018 13:33
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How the gently caress have I never seen this before
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Mar 24, 2018 13:36
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For your Sat morning viewing pleasure https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xisrvF739-E ----------------
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Mar 24, 2018 14:23
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I have no game but I must sell
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Mar 24, 2018 14:24
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G0RF posted:You’re right but the key distinction that’s new is “they have no choice”. Reagan posted:A few months ago I told the American people I did not trade arms for hostages. My heart and my best intentions tell me that's true, but the facts and evidence tell me it is not.
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Mar 24, 2018 14:41
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Uchrisses (A Poem) It little profits that an idle king Of MS-DOS, among these CD-ROMs, Match'd with an aged wife, I mete and dole Fidelity unto a savage race, That pledge, and tweet, and dream, and know not me. I cannot rest from traveling First Class: I will drink Life to the lees: All times I have enjoy'd Greatly, hand waved greatly, both with those That doxxed me, and alone, with Ben, and when Thro' lengthy blogs the FUDdy Derek Vext the Brown Sea: I am become a game; For always scamming with a hungry heart Much have I raised and blown; CitizenCons And mocap, celebrities, cutscenes, game modes, Myself not least, but honour'd of them all; And drunk delight of vacations with my peers, Far on the luxury yachts of Monaco. I am a Paarp of all that I have met; Yet all development is an arch wherethro' Janks that unoptimized 'verse whose geometry jiggles For ever and forever when I move. How dull it is to play, to make an effort, To stream unironically, not to acknowledge the truth! As tho' to theory craft were life! Code piled on code Were all too little, and of game design to me Little remains: but every hour is saved From that eternal scope creep, something more, A bringer of new things; and vile it were For some three-point-whatever patches to store and hoard myself, and this gray toupee yearning in desire To follow the money like a never-was movie star, Beyond the utmost bound of Federal jurisdiction. This is my brother, mine own Erin, To whom I leave the Space Door and the espresso machine,-- Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfil This labour, by slow prudence to make work A frankenengine, and thro' soft degrees Finally add Network Bind Culling. Almost blameless is he, centered in the sphere Of common duties, decent not to fail In games about Legos, and pay Fines and fees to Coutts and Crytek, When I am gone. He works his work, I mine. There lies the parking lot; the Porsche puffs her exhaust: There gloom Ortwin and Sandi. My accomplices, Souls that have lied, and cheated, and fleeced with me -- That ever with a frolic welcome took The money and the gifts, and opposed Refunds, free thought -- you and I are subpoena'd; Skadden hath yet their discovery and their voir dire; Conviction closes all: but something ere the end, Some work of profitable note, may yet be done, Not unbecoming men that strove with Publishers. The lights begin to twinkle from the pursuit vehicles: The long highway wanes: the border crossing nears: the deep Moans round with many sirens. Come, my friends, 'T is not too late to seek asylum. Push off, and sitting well in order smite The chainlink fence; for my purpose holds To drive beyond Mexico, and the lands Of all extradition countries, until I die. It may be that the Gulf will wash us down: It may be that we shall touch Belize And see the great McAfee, whom we knew. Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho' We are not now the strength which in old days Made Wing Commander, that which we are, we are; One equal temper of shameless self-promotion, Made weak by time and repeated failure, but strong in will To promise, to kickstart, to fund, and not to release.
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Mar 24, 2018 14:42
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sockgarters posted:This isn't that. But it inspired me:   
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Mar 24, 2018 15:38
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Mr Fronts posted:WHAT IS AGILE? WHAT IS SCRUM? 
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Mar 24, 2018 16:02
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sockgarters posted:This isn't that. But it inspired me:  what’s it called? you gotta name your -moon
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Mar 24, 2018 16:15
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Derek, from one UK man to another, how much better is Miami than Watford (been twice, not a fan, Watford, that is. My favourite music? Gloria Estefan and the Watford sound machine - it's just latin drums and the sounds of a guy commuting to London for a sales pitch at 10.00am)? Is Miami as good as Will Smith told me? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwBS6QGsH_4 Star Citizen related? Is Watford in Star Citizen yet? If not, why not? How can a proc gen Watford be real if our eyes aren't real? You can't answer that.
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Mar 24, 2018 16:23
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I wrote a short thread on the latest "poll" drama.
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Mar 24, 2018 17:42
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Derek was right about this whole  Star Citizen thing.
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Mar 24, 2018 18:20
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You can tell when Derek paid for a new avatar because he still calls himself a prancer
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Mar 24, 2018 18:52
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Admiral Snackbar posted:Uchrisses (A Poem)
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Mar 24, 2018 19:01
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Rebuild a game from 1994, turns out it's tough and takes more time and money than originally anticipated. Has to scale back to even maybe finish the project. Building a new game where a single ship has more gameplay than most entire games. The theme is "live in a whole universe where anything is possible and all your dreams will come true". No concept of scaling back and yet already every single deadline has been missed, and it appears the game is still just a tech demo that doesn't work well. Somehow fails to see the problem.
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Mar 24, 2018 19:23
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The Titanic posted:Rebuild a game from 1994, turns out it's tough and takes more time and money than originally anticipated. Has to scale back to even maybe finish the project. That's our Cymelion! *laugh track*
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Mar 24, 2018 19:26
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Mr Fronts posted:No stolen non-goon valour here: Crediting the original, which still hits a pretty high level on the old bullshit-ometer: So really CIG are Applied Agile Admiral Snackbar posted:Uchrisses (A Poem) Do some Alexander Pope now.
ewe2 fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Mar 24, 2018 |
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Mar 24, 2018 19:42
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So, coming up on the end of the quarter... Forgot to add a little croberts from yesterday's presentation. Bootcha fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Mar 24, 2018 |
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Mar 24, 2018 19:46
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Derek's short thread posted:The project is an industry laughing stock. Those who have left it, are the ones spreading all the info on just how FUBAR it all is.
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Mar 24, 2018 20:06
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Chris has seen Crobear and is amused !!
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Mar 24, 2018 20:15
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So for comparison's sake: 2018 - RED Jan-- 15 Feb-- 7 Mar-- 24 tot-- 46 2017 - YELLOW Jan-- 0 Feb-- 15 Mar-- 21 tot-- 36 2016 - GREEN Jan-- 7 Feb-- 0 Mar-- 14 tot-- 21 2015 - BLUE Jan-- 10 Feb-- 9 Mar-- 15 tot-- 34 2014 and 2013 did not have any sales during the first quarter.
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Mar 24, 2018 20:17
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Bootcha posted:So, coming up on the end of the quarter... Sales will continue until morale improves
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Mar 24, 2018 20:18
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EightAce posted:Chris has seen Crobear and is amused !! LOL excellent.
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Mar 24, 2018 20:18
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Never mind, I did a Pope: Ode to Solitaire (apologies to Popes spinning corpse) Happy the Citizen, whose wish and care A few paternal gigabytes, seem Content to breathe his wankpod air, In his own dream. Whose ships with doors, whose network's dead, Whose merch supply him with attire, Whose tweets on Derek throw him shade, yet must backfire. Blest, who can unconcernedly find Hours, days, and years slide soft away, With reams of jpegs, fidelity blind, Parp by day, Same parp by night; stutter and freeze, Together crashed; scant recreation; For innocence, spells cash to squeeze, but named donation. That this scam cheats, unseen, yet known; And unlamented it must die; Stole from the marks, and via trial, discovery.
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Mar 24, 2018 20:19
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Let's not forget that historically this quarter is the less productive time for CIG. Any "development mode" seems to fizzle out at this point, as it was in between a crunch and bug-fixing period and the next crunch for GamesCom. They are not doing anything major this quarter. I'd bet there loving is no morale for that. They are not doing anything big next one either with no GamesCom to put some real pressure on them.
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Mar 24, 2018 20:24
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ewe2 posted:So really CIG are Applied Agile Not the OP, but I'll do my best: WHAT dire Offence from am'rous Causes springs, What mighty Quarrels rise from Financial Things, I sing — This Verse to Derek, Muse! is due; This, ev'n Sandi may vouchsafe to view: Slight is the Subject, but not so the Praise, If Sandi inspire, and Chris approve my Lays. Say what strange Motive, Goddess! cou'd compel A well-bred Derek t'paarp a gentle Roberts-Belle? Oh say what stranger Cause, yet unexplor'd, Cou'd make a gentle Roberts refund a Smart-Lord? And dwells such Rage in softest Bosoms then? And lodge such daring Souls in Little Men?
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Mar 24, 2018 20:24
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AbstractNapper posted:Let's not forget that historically this quarter is the less productive time for CIG. Any "development mode" seems to fizzle out at this point, as it was in between a crunch and bug-fixing period and the next crunch for GamesCom. They're going to coast right on through to WhaleCon in May, and then ShitizenCon in Dec. ----------------
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Mar 24, 2018 20:27
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D_Smart posted:They're going to coast right on through to WhaleCon in May, and then ShitizenCon in Dec. I may be wrong here, but that seems longer than two weeks.
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Mar 24, 2018 20:28
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Frank_Leroux posted:Not the OP, but I'll do my best: I do like Pope in satirical mood, although you have to bone up on Greek and Roman allusions.
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Mar 24, 2018 20:30
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AbstractNapper posted:Let's not forget that historically this quarter is the less productive time for CIG. Any "development mode" seems to fizzle out at this point, as it was in between a crunch and bug-fixing period and the next crunch for GamesCom. Let's look: 2018 - $5,092,916 2017 - $5,037,306 2016 - $6,809,482 2015 - $8,828,952 2014 - $5,432,305 2013 - $1,248,692 So already they're looking better than last year. They'll probably pass 2014, barring any major fuckups before the month's end. They might come close to 2016 if the sales are a smash hit, and if the 3.1 patch goes ahead as planned. I don't think they'll match or come close to 2015. Just a reminder: Something special, non-merch, non-flash, on sale in the first quarter... 2018 - A sale every 0.5111r days and rising 2017 - A sale every 0.4 days 2016 - A sale every 0.23 days (91, leap year) 2015 - A sale every 0.3777r days
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Mar 24, 2018 20:46
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