Zazz Razzamatazz posted:

What is going on here?

Honestly surprised that guy hasn't been downvoted out.

MilesK posted:

More concerning is that he's only created 9 art pieces since March 24th and none of them include the new Tumbril motorcycle jpg even though motorcycles are probably his favorite thing.

Mirificus posted:

Doug Sisk posted:

Can we unban Derek for a couple of weeks? I want his hints of rumours and an arbitrary deadline for when it all becomes hosed.
Plus it would be funny.

Mirificus posted:

Flared Basic Bitch posted:

Nice try Derek.

Zazz Razzamatazz posted:

What is going on here?

Honestly surprised that guy hasn't been downvoted out.

Sarsapariller posted:

The mission text is great: "I don't want to get too specific, but let's just say it would be better for everyone if MISSIONLOCATIONADDRESS was taken out of commission for a bit."

Mirificus posted:

Mirificus posted:

Sarsapariller posted:

Trip Report: Patch 3.5.1

So 3.5.1 is the patch with all the amazing customization and bug fixes for 3.5, the quarterly patch that was supposed to be fully delivered at the end of March but hey what's literally another entire quarter between friends. Whatever. It's out on the live servers now and that means it's time to play it!

My mission for the day: gently caress it, I don't know, I hate this game. Do a combat mission I guess?

Attempt 1: My login hangs forever

Attempt 2: Log in but I'm told there's a patch to the patch and I need to go download it. Finish that, log in, there's a patch to the patch to the patch, go download it. Fuuuuuuuck, fine. My will to even bother is swiftly fading.

Attempt 3: Log in, wake up in wank pod, go to spawn ships. What's this? CIG has gifted me all of the Origin luxury super-best yacht ships! I guess it's a free-fly or something. But all of my ships, all of them, are listed as "Destroyed." Meaning I have to manually claim them, and wait out the insurance timers. Also my cash balance from the last time I played back in like 3.4 has been reset, so I have no money to do any of the component testing or anything. I seriously eye the logout button for several seconds, considering abandoning this whole loving endeavor before I ever get to space. gently caress this game with a rake, seriously. But I endure. I go do some dishes and when I come back the timer on my 600i (Touring) has counted down. Oh boy! Touring! I don't know what that means! It's a great big gently caress-off luxury yacht though so you know it's going to be stupidly OP, that's how Star Citizen works.

I spawn it and go get in. Astonishingly, the HUD on this ship isn't terrible. That's because there isn't a single 3D television screen on the bridge. It's just empty space and when you sit down in the chair, the HUD pops up on your helmet. I don't get it- it's like they just rolled the dice on the HUD for every ship in the game, and this is the one that actually scored a clean and useable interface? Okay, gently caress it, whatever. The ship has 3 big guns and a lot of missiles so I take a combat mission to go shut down a comm array. The mission text is great: "I don't want to get too specific, but let's just say it would be better for everyone if MISSIONLOCATIONADDRESS was taken out of commission for a bit." Way to gently caress up the text gen on one of the 3 functioning missions in the game, CIG. So I have no idea where MISSIONLOCATIONADDRESS is, and I spend several minutes trying to find it on the map, before I realize it is literally on the far loving side of the solar system. Goddammit. That's a 12 minute flight! There's no way to find distance in the contract-acceptance screen, of course. You just have to accept everything and hope you get a few close by.

So I spool up the quantum drive and let it rip, then get out of the pilot's seat to go explore the ship because it is literally going to be 12 minutes of staring at blue wavy poo poo. One thing I love about QT is that they add the stuttery-wavy blue lines everywhere, even when you're just walking around. So everything's kind of wavery and blue and lovely, all the time, and this is how you're supposed to spend the majority of your game time? Holy gently caress. Anyway I walk around the ship and it's just... so loving pointless. 90% of the ship is nonfunctional luxury horseshit. Just passenger compartments, and lounges, and bars. Why would you pay money for this? What possible gameplay function do you expect this to serve? There's nothing to do here! There's not even the expectation that there one day might be anything to do! The closest thing to excitement comes when I find the pool table- non functional, of course. The entire ship probably costs six hundred US dollars and it is literally a static prop. About halfway through my exploration the ship drops out of QT, due to that overheating thing that the game has now, so I have to run all the way back up to the pilot's seat and re-engage the jump drive. Nothing interesting happens. It just turns off, I turn it back on again, I go back to exploring the 6 loving bathrooms on this ship- yes it has 6, yes I counted. I can't believe they're making another luxury yacht and it's even bigger than this piece of crap.

So finally I exit QT- it has been at least an hour since I decided I wanted to play Star Citizen and I haven't done a single goddamn thing except press B a couple of times. I'm at the comm array. As expected, there are a bunch of orange buccaneer pirate NPC's, extremely spooky. I target them and begin firing. That is when I discover two critical things:
1) The ship has 3 gigantic, fixed-position laser cannons
2) The ship turns like a shopping cart with a wheel missing

I literally cannot hit the NPC's. I can barely, barely turn fast enough to get them in line with my nose, but I can't move quickly enough to put the guns on them. So I turn and I fly away, towards the comm array. gently caress actually trying to fight. But one of them sticks with me and is actually slowly chewing through my shields. This piques my interest a bit- an actual fight? Against competent enemies? This isn't Star Citizen's ai! And it isn't. I target it and, sure enough, it's an actual loving player who I guess was just hanging out in the NPC fields failing to kill any of them. He's glued to my rear end now, but his Constellation sucks just as much poo poo as my gigantic love boat, and as soon as I start turning to face him he can't get through my shields. So that's the battle. I turn, and turn, and turn, and turn, and turn, and he strafes and strafes and shoots me a billion times. My ship costs too much money for him to even scratch it, and turns too slow to land even the most glancing of hits on him. I can't turn and fly away because stopping my turn fight will let him fixate on my rear end. He can't get a solid spot to hit my shield more than once because... well, I'm assuming because he sucks, but who knows. So we fight and fight and fight and fight and it never ends. I exhaust all my missiles on him, which might as well be spitballs. He empties his guns over and over, and I assume all his missiles as well because I get a lot of warnings but zero damage. After easily five minutes of just turning and shooting, I decide gently caress it, and align to QT to the nearest planet. He immediately gets in behind me, pops my shield and kills me. I respawn in the wankpod to him bragging in chat about the amazing fight and how it was super cool. I log off.

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Summary: I don't even have the energy to rant angrily about it. It's just so bad. It never gets better. Everything that was broken before is still broken, but now there's more of it. I could have spent the last two hours working on my web novel but instead I spent it on this. I'm really disappointed in myself. Don't play Star Citizen.

MilesK posted:

Bumble He posted:

the transformer added at dot though!

NoMas posted:

Is the game out yet.

iron buns posted:

Lack of Gravitas posted:

those bookmarked searches tho...

Sarsapariller posted:

At this point I don't even see anything really in 3.6. It's just a bunch of location/ship/gun assets, same as 3.5, but at least 3.5 was advertised as having the huge flight model update that would fix everything. What does 3.6 even have? The hover mode? The ship rental system, still sitting at 0% completion? Ragdoll improvements? There's not a single item in this quarterly that has any bearing on the main state of the game.

kw0134 posted:

As you all know, criminals are known for their op-sec, like deleting stuff and renaming threads to hide the incriminating evidence we just leave around on public forums. That way, it's hard to prove criminal conspiracy because we mislabel our notes! Who says goons aren't crafty.

AbstractNapper posted:

Is it weird that my first thought about these low-lifes is that they are either alters of arguably deranged Sandi or altogether fake/troll accounts to bait goons (or others) into pointless discussions with them?

Does that count as me being optimistic about the human kind?

iron buns posted: