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Parahexavoctal
Oct 10, 2004

I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

as a Jew, I've never actually gone through the whole "Santa Claus" thing. I have no idea what it would have been like to believe in the Red-Suited Home-Invader and his Global Potlatch -- confusing, I assume. But what I'm interested in is how you came to the realization that your parents were lying to you. What's your story? How old were you? Did you figure it out yourself? Did someone tell you?

If you write, I will make it better.

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Aryu Kiddimeh
Nov 9, 2012
I don't remember believing, cognitive dissonance deleted all the memories, I have never been wrong. Good Day

Pastor Travis
Jun 5, 2008

Aryu Kiddimeh posted:

I don't remember believing, cognitive dissonance deleted all the memories, I have never been wrong. Good Day

I didn't know you were a goon, mr. president-elect

Shbobdb
Dec 16, 2010

by vyelkin
Gifts are real. Trees are real. Rivers are real. The metaphorical representation of each through Santa, Dyads and Naiads, are just metaphors. Both Saturn and Jupiter are still in the sky, so Saturn isn't able to eat Jupiter.

You realize the metaphor and that's cool.

In junior Kindergarten, I got held back a year for making basically that argument (it ended up in me getting punched in the face so I was labeled antisocial).

Mythology is a tricky thing.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon
I still believe

LogisticEarth
Mar 28, 2004

Someone once told me, "Time is a flat circle".

Parahexavoctal posted:

as a Jew, I've never actually gone through the whole "Santa Claus" thing. I have no idea what it would have been like to believe in the Red-Suited Home-Invader and his Global Potlatch -- confusing, I assume. But what I'm interested in is how you came to the realization that your parents were lying to you. What's your story? How old were you? Did you figure it out yourself? Did someone tell you?

I think for most kids it happens young enough that the memories are pretty vague. I recall figuring out that the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus were all imaginary around the same time. I think the Easter Bunny did it all in first, and once that happened I just connected the dots between the rest. I was maybe...five...or six?

Again, I vaguely recall that I heard footsteps at night in my room on Easter night. I knew that I wasn't supposed to open my eyes because I'd scare him off or whatever, but I realized I was hearing footsteps, and since I figured a rabbit would hop, not walk, it was probably my parents. I think it felt like a game, and I had "figured it out", and that it was OK since it reinforced that my parents loved me. The Easter Bunny and Santa and such are these generally benevolent giving figures, and realizing that their myths were just proxies for my parents was comforting. Santa was real and he was my dad!

My wife has a pretty different view though, and is kinda against the whole "Santa/Easter Bunny" myth. Conversely, her family life when she was young was pretty rough, so that seems to be part of it. Instead of this reinforcement that your parents are good, having Santa yanked away from you might be a realization that it's just you and your crappy family stuck in a world of poo poo.

My Imaginary GF
Jul 17, 2005

by R. Guyovich

Shbobdb posted:

Gifts are real. Trees are real. Rivers are real. The metaphorical representation of each through Santa, Dyads and Naiads, are just metaphors. Both Saturn and Jupiter are still in the sky, so Saturn isn't able to eat Jupiter.

You realize the metaphor and that's cool.

In junior Kindergarten, I got held back a year for making basically that argument (it ended up in me getting punched in the face so I was labeled antisocial).

Mythology is a tricky thing.

If you're going around a kindergarten saying Santa ain't real, you're engaging in some attention-seeking behavior indicative of potential developmental delay. Holding you back would be a good call.

Sometime between 3rd and 4th grade when my sister and I stumbled upon our presents in the dryer.

Let me ask you this, op: when did you realize channuka harry wasn't real?

My Imaginary GF fucked around with this message at 13:37 on Dec 22, 2016

Parahexavoctal
Oct 10, 2004

I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

My Imaginary GF posted:

If you're going around a kindergarten saying Santa ain't real, you're engaging in some attention-seeking behavior indicative of potential developmental delay. Holding you back would be a good call.

Sometime between 3rd and 4th grade when my sister and I stumbled upon our presents in the dryer.

Let me ask you this, op: when did you realize channuka harry wasn't real?

we never did any of those gift-giving personifications. Gifts are from your parents.

A friend is having trouble convincing her kid that Santa's not real, because the kid is terrified of Santa.

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

I'm Jewish too but my parents told me and my brother the Santa myth anyway when we were very little so we wouldn't feel left out.

at that time there was some dude who would drive around the town in a Santa suit and you could pay this guy to come over and do a "Santa visit" and give your kids a pre-arranged present. So my parents arranged for the guy to come over and be Santa, and they told me and my brother he was "really Santa". I had already heard rumors at school that Santa wasn't real so when this guy came over I grabbed his beard and it was a fake beard that just pulled right off his face. that was pretty much it.

Control Volume
Dec 31, 2008

Ytlaya
Nov 13, 2005

I remember my friend believed in Santa Claus until like 7th grade. I was Jewish so I never did, but I remember him trying to come up with all these convoluted explanations for how Santa could exist.

BlackJosh
Sep 25, 2007
I actually have a decent story about this. I was super young when I learned, like 5. I watched some Unsolved Mysteries and I became super crazy scared of alien abduction. I also suffer from sleep paralysis and didn't understand it as a kid and it freaked me the gently caress out when it happened and made me think I was going to get abducted by aliens and I started freaking the gently caress out almost every night. My parents had to sit me down and reassure me I was safe and no one could ever get into our house and blah blah blah whatever parents say to scared kids. I retorted, with I think pretty good logic for a little kid, oh yeah then what about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy? They broke it to me that they were not real and they did those things. It honestly didn't really impact me at all since it just made me feel safer about the whole alien abduction thing and it was a cool little secret I got to hold on to for awhile from my sister and other kids. I never ruined it for someone.

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008

i was told my old av was distracting
Pretty sure it was when I heard the first part and I was like "first god now this? laffo"

Shellception
Oct 12, 2016

"I'm made up of the memories of my parents and my grandparents, all my ancestors. They're in the way I look, in the colour of my hair. And I'm made up of everyone I've ever met who's changed the way I think"

Parahexavoctal posted:

A friend is having trouble convincing her kid that Santa's not real, because the kid is terrified of Santa.

Spanish equivalent of Santa are the "Three wise men" who come and leave presents in the night of the 5th January. When my mother was a kid, her youngest brother used to be scared to death of them because they were breaking into his home, even if it was to give presents v:shobon:v

I was never told they were real, and we give gifts on Christmas, but I was told not to tell anything to the other kids. For a few very early years I had this weird image where I got presents from my parents but the rest of the kids got them way later and from some mysterious entities. I never cared too much anyway because hey, toys :toot:

Carnival of Shrews
Mar 27, 2013

You're not David Attenborough
I was sitting in the car going to school, and said something along the lines of, "You know, Father Christmas often uses the same wrapping paper that we do..." And in that moment, I became enlightened, because my mother couldn't suppress a laugh. Of course she then said how amazingly clever I was to work it out like that, and that now it was my job to be all grown-up and pretend for my baby brother (7 years younger than me. I was not super quick on the uptake).

Turns out, though, my brother is a truly devious little cadger. When the penny dropped for him, he never admitted a thing -- not to our parents, or to me, or his classmates, some of whom were of course in their first flush of being able to deal out SPOILERS. I think we kept up the charade until the grand age of 8 1/2, and as the next Christmas loomed, we were beginning to fear for his logical reasoning.

Gentle questioning revealed that we'd all pretended for the last two Christmases, because he feared that revealing he knew the truth would stop the flow of Santa swag. Smart lad.

Mr Enderby
Mar 28, 2015

There was no moment of revelation. I realised at a fairly young age that Father Christmas (which is what we called the bearded man in my neck of the woods, before this American Santa bullshit took over) was probably not a real phenomenon. But I was able to not question that fact, and continue to enjoy the magic, because children are good at ignoring cognitive dissonance.

We spent Christmas at my grandmother's, and the room I and my brother slept in had an opaque glass door. I remember aged about ten, seeing the silhouette of what was clearly my father, filling the stockings outside (and necking the whisky we had left for Father Christmas). That wasn't a moment of shock, but rather a sad realisation that I had to give up on the last vestiges of a belief that I'd largely rejected years ago.

But because I'm drunk, and because of the season, I'm going to say that I still believe in Father Christmas. He's the beardy, red nosed embodiment of a living tradition. Good will to all men. Have a glass of sherry and a mince pie.

Also St Nicholas threw some hands with the heretic Arius, and he helps out prostitutes, so God bless that dude.

Defenestration
Aug 10, 2006

"It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"


Grimey Drawer
Santa's handwriting was the same as my parents'. I remember being smug that I realized this. No illusion shattering or anything.

Now, when Obama gave up on the public option...

Dr. Video Games 0081
Jan 19, 2005

Shbobdb posted:

Gifts are real. Trees are real. Rivers are real. The metaphorical representation of each through Santa, Dyads and Naiads, are just metaphors. Both Saturn and Jupiter are still in the sky, so Saturn isn't able to eat Jupiter.

You realize the metaphor and that's cool.

In junior Kindergarten, I got held back a year for making basically that argument (it ended up in me getting punched in the face so I was labeled antisocial).

Mythology is a tricky thing.


Shut up Shbodbd

Friar Zucchini
Aug 6, 2010

When I was like 7 I totally found the greatest Matchbox set ever to have graced this fine Earth with its presence, it was in my mom's closet concealed within a Walmart bag and I found it on like December 22ish so I guess that was my Santa Gnosis moment



and I believed

Prince Reggie K
Feb 12, 2007

I've been denied all the best Ultra-Sex.

Defenestration posted:

Santa's handwriting was the same as my parents'. I remember being smug that I realized this. No illusion shattering or anything.

Now, when Obama gave up on the public option...

This is how I figured it out too. "Santa" left a note in my father's handwriting. like "Thanks for the cookies, but make sure to clean up more often!" okay dad....

Orange Sunshine
May 10, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
My parents taught us that Santa Claus is something we like to pretend.

Because kids understand pretending and understand fictional characters and enjoy them anyway. Kids watch spongebob even though they know he's not real. It's totally unnecessary to lie to kids about santa claus.

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Super Slash
Feb 20, 2006

You rang ?
A combination of a. pretending very well I was asleep to listen out for my folks putting out presents b. wondering why there were so many Argos carrier bags in the bin c. accidental price tags left on presents.

Then again a lot of media always shown him giving gifts like lovely wooden horses, how the gently caress is this old man going to know what the dragonzord is?

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