- cda
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by Hand Knit
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Apr 20, 2017 19:36
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Oct 10, 2024 15:19
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- i am he
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Sexy Woman Realtor: So, what do you think? 4 bedrooms, 3 and a half baths, hardwood floors throughout, newly furnished... All for under 100K
Me: What, is it some kind of murder house?
Sexy Woman Realtor: *tossing hair back in a way that could be alluring or maybe her hair was just in her face* No, not at all.
Me: I love you so much for finding me this house.
Sexy Woman Realtor: *slight pause* Thanks. That's very nice of you to say.
Me: ... And there's nothing wrong with it? Why's it so cheap?
SWR: it's in the Friend Zone.
Me: I KNEW it! Why didn't you just tell me?
SWR: Look at how you're acting! That's why I didn't tell you.
loll
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Apr 20, 2017 20:47
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- Fuck My Ass
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lmao
Thank you, very nice I like. For the insanely win sig.
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Apr 20, 2017 23:11
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- Petr
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why does donald trump always wear red neckwear?
because he has so many russian ties
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Apr 21, 2017 00:19
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- Petr
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I worked on that one for hours
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Apr 21, 2017 00:20
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- little munchkin
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▐▬▬NEMMED▬▬▌
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listing a bunch of different ways to get murdered and then saying it's good after each one
ex: most people would get really upset at being shot with a shotgun. the wouldn't like to have their bones crushed and their organs torn up with buckshot. personally i would enjoy it if that happened to me
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Apr 21, 2017 02:01
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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listing a bunch of different ways to get murdered and then saying it's good after each one
ex: most people would get really upset at being shot with a shotgun. the wouldn't like to have their bones crushed and their organs torn up with buckshot. personally i would enjoy it if that happened to me
this is pretty good drat
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Apr 21, 2017 02:16
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- Piso Mojado
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funny things to say when you open the door for someone
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Apr 21, 2017 04:05
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- Piso Mojado
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funny things to say on June 9th (6/9 lol)
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Apr 21, 2017 04:05
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- deep dish peat moss
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Inventing a time machine, but it only takes you back to 15 minutes before you started inventing the time machine, so every time you build it 15 minutes sooner and travel back in time that way.
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Apr 21, 2017 04:33
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- Fuck My Ass
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funny things to say on June 9th (6/9 lol)
Thank you, very nice I like. For the insanely win sig.
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Apr 21, 2017 05:18
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- deep dish peat moss
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Me: So what's your new show about?
Geraldine Seinfeld : Nothing.
Me: What do you mean nothing?
GS: Don't worry about it.
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Apr 21, 2017 15:50
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- Starshark
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I think this gig economy is overheated. We should dial it back to something like a meg economy.
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Apr 21, 2017 17:27
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- FutonForensic
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Apr 21, 2017 19:30
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- Android Blues
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my family becoming bloated and irritable after my handmade corncob pipe etsy takes off and they shift to an all corn diet to keep up with demand.
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Apr 21, 2017 20:00
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- i am he
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my family becoming bloated and irritable after my handmade corncob pipe etsy takes off and they shift to an all corn diet to keep up with demand.
lol
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Apr 21, 2017 20:07
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- Pomp
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by Fluffdaddy
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list of instruments i can play: shame-isen, guiltar, hurtsichord, blamepipes, doldrums, didgeridoubt, despairinet, low self-esteem whistle
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Apr 22, 2017 16:14
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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list of instruments i can play: shame-isen, guiltar, hurtsichord, blamepipes, doldrums, didgeridoubt, despairinet, low self-esteem whistle
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Apr 22, 2017 21:28
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- Areola Grande
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it's a free country u pervs
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funny things to say when you open the door for someone
"Let the building eat you"
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Apr 22, 2017 23:34
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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"Let the building eat you"
Nice callback.
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Apr 22, 2017 23:43
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- Areola Grande
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it's a free country u pervs
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Apr 23, 2017 00:12
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- SHY NUDIST GRRL
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Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.
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Different kind of *punk, like cyberpunk and steampunk but new things. Of course there's Weedpunk where the earth is covered by a dense, slowing fog and the sun has gone ultraviolet, and Netpunk where everyone lives on one of those endless black gridded planes in the digital world.
Everyone would just name obscure *punks they don't know have been coined already
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Apr 24, 2017 00:10
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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using Nadsat from A Clockwork Orange and doggospeak at the same time like "viddy this pupper my droogs, it's a horrowshow corgo that's looking a little poogly after this floofy did it a frighten."
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Apr 24, 2017 01:47
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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using Nadsat from A Clockwork Orange and doggospeak at the same time like "viddy this pupper my droogs, it's a horrowshow corgo that's looking a little poogly after this floofy did it a frighten."
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Apr 24, 2017 02:15
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- SHY NUDIST GRRL
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Communism will help more white people than anyone else. Any equal measures unfairly provide less to minority populations just because there's less of them. Democracy is truly the tyranny of the mob.
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Is currentpunk like something to do with electricity, or something to do with the ocean; or is it just, like, the current world we live in.
Yes
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Apr 25, 2017 01:31
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- deep dish peat moss
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Everyone would just name obscure *punks they don't know have been coined already
Big Punk, it's a dystopian universe exactly like our own, but everything is 20 times bigger.
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Apr 25, 2017 02:28
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- deep dish peat moss
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Big Punk - punk companies, collectively, as a sector of industry
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Apr 25, 2017 02:30
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- Peg Sliderskew
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Is currentpunk like something to do with electricity, or something to do with the ocean; or is it just, like, the current world we live in.
Not sure, but currantpunk involves an economy entirely dependant on the availability of grapes and sunshine. It's pretty chilling.
Courtesy of Manifisto
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Apr 25, 2017 16:49
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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sounds more like its pretty......CHILL, to me 
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Apr 25, 2017 17:38
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- DragQueenofAngmar
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You shall not pass!
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i like wine
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Apr 25, 2017 17:39
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- Starshark
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Okay, you can stop laughing now... I've reloaded.
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Apr 27, 2017 00:20
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- goethe.cx
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the class-action lanham act suit filed when it turns out plebian parasite's corncob pipes are technically made from maize
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Apr 27, 2017 06:56
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Oct 10, 2024 15:19
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- BRB pooping
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Hello, welcome to the butt-restaurant, may i take your order?
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Apr 27, 2017 08:56
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Apr 20, 2017 19:36
