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MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


Vicissitude posted:

I'm still surprised they haven't riffed Gymkata yet. So many references over the years, you'd think that'd be an obvious fan demand.

They haven't done Ransom either. (Ransom is good but riffable.)



Kojiro posted:

Yes and it's a great riff but I left it feeling kinda sorry for the director, who clearly just wanted to make some spaceboy softcore and ended up with whatever that was instead.

The man has a style.

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muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Picked up The Journey:Absolution tonight and man that's a loving nutball movie.

Double Agent
Mar 28, 2005

Maybe we're not just a bunch of frak-ups after all.


Ghostpilot posted:

I haven't dared to expose myself to Rollergator yet, but I have not been able to make it through mst3k Hamlet without falling asleep.

I would sooner watch Hamlet twice in a row before I watch Rollergator again. The riff is pretty good, but the movie is so loving horrible I will never watch it again.

egon_beeblebrox
Feb 29, 2008

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.





Rollergator is probably the worst film ever covered by MST3K/Rifftrax. It's so damned bizarre and awful.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006




Grimey Drawer

Years ago I filezed Rollergator before I deleted it. I regret having deleted it because I think I'd want to see if I could sit thru it before buying it. I don't regret filezing it in the first place though because at this point I've easily spent over hundred dollars on riffs. A year. For nearly a decade.

I have a problem.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

RandomPauI posted:

... I've easily spent over hundred dollars on riffs. A year. For nearly a decade.

I have a problem.

I have every riff/VOD/short they've ever done including the Presents titles.

Totally worth it.

BDawg
May 19, 2004

In Full Stereo Symphony


muscles like this! posted:

Picked up The Journey:Absolution tonight and man that's a loving nutball movie.

I watched and still have no idea what the plot is... or where Jamie Pressly came from.

Bedurndurn
Dec 4, 2008


BDawg posted:

I watched and still have no idea what the plot is... or where Jamie Pressly came from.

Did the cut a scene from the Riff? I know when we watched Pressure Point the other night, the main character and the cop talk about going bowling a whole bunch and the end credits thank a bowling alley, but there's no scene in the movie with it. I'm not sure if they're cutting some of the VoD movies (like they did for MST3K) or if that's just the high level of production quality from the movie itself.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



I don't think they cut anything from this because the movie was really vague about anything going on outside of the facility and also they clearly didn't have any budget to go anywhere but the sets they had built.

BDawg posted:

I watched and still have no idea what the plot is... or where Jamie Pressly came from.

She mentions that she lives at the "Outpost" wherever that is.

Ms Boods
Mar 19, 2009

Did you ever wonder where the Romans got bread from? It wasn't from Waitrose!


We watched 'The Apple' last night. Never heard of it before now; I would have been about 15 when it came out.

No, thanks, I do not ever want to be BIM'd.

Miriam Margoyles, what were you doing in this film?

And then all of the loincloths and moose knuckles.



On the other hand, 'Pressure Point' got a 'No loving way!' out of me, as there's about a minute or two's worth of scenage on MLK Bldv in Wilmington, DE, that not only shows the train station clock tower (a station I know all too well), but a extended shot of the carpark I used to make use of for the seven or so years I worked in Wilmington. (Grew up in Newark, DE).

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


The Journey: Absolution is the 10th David DeCoteau movie I've seen spanning over 20 years of his career, it is the closest thing to an actual movie I've seen from him.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006
I ran crying to the mods because someone bought me a title with naughty words in it. (twice!)
I am the world's softest bitch and you you should remind me of it forever. If this text is gone it's because I couldn't handle being a fucking loser.


Smellrose

Ladies and gentlemen, today is an auspicious day, because the new RiffTrax short is Drawing for Beginners: The Square.

Jet Jaguar
Feb 12, 2006

Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr Customs Man.





Biscuit Hider

Will I be able to follow this one if I've forgotten all the riveting events in Drawing for Beginners: The Rectangle?

I Am Fowl
Mar 8, 2008

nononononono


Jet Jaguar posted:

Will I be able to follow this one if I've forgotten all the riveting events in Drawing for Beginners: The Rectangle?

You fool! It will be far too advanced for you--you'll kill us all!

Hogama
Sep 3, 2011


I finally caught up with Fun in Balloonland.
I'm worried about a great deal more than I was an hour ago.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006




Grimey Drawer

I bought Rollergator. May God have mercy on my soul.

ringu0
Feb 24, 2013




RandomPauI posted:

I bought Rollergator. May God have mercy on my soul.

Where you're going there is no God

rickiep00h
Aug 16, 2010

BATDANCE



ringu0 posted:

Where you're going there is no God

And its Not-Name is Joe Estevez.

Waited that whole drat movie for the Gator to be on a skateboard and he was just immediately picked back up and put in a bag.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

RandomPauI posted:

I bought Rollergator. May God have mercy on my soul.

Assuming you survive, please resist the urge to smash every acoustic guitar you see.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006




Grimey Drawer

I also picked up Nestor the Christmas Donkey. I read the Wikipedia entry so I knew what I was getting into. But I still didn't know what I was getting into.

Rirse
May 6, 2006

by R. Guyovich


Wished they would redo Nestor with Kevin and Bill. Mike does a good enough job, but it harder to watch the first year stuff without them around.

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

Horned Rat-Sempai Noticed Me!


muscles like this! posted:

Picked up The Journey:Absolution tonight and man that's a loving nutball movie.

I watched it too and it was...better than I was expecting? I've watched/listened to reviews of other DeCoteau movies and they sounded more unwatchable than Rollergator. This had a discernible-ish plot and while the characters weren't compelling it was clear which ones I should be rooting for. And being military sci-fi the vague porno tones are at least par for the course.

SirPhoebos fucked around with this message at 22:47 on Jan 26, 2018

Vicissitude
Jan 26, 2004

You ever do the chicken dance at a wake? That really bothers people.

Ms Boods posted:

We watched 'The Apple' last night. Never heard of it before now; I would have been about 15 when it came out.

No, thanks, I do not ever want to be BIM'd.

Miriam Margoyles, what were you doing in this film?

And then all of the loincloths and moose knuckles.



Counterpoint:


Also, fun note, the guy who played Mr Boogalo was also the Russian commander in Red Dawn.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

My Rifftrax re-watch continues unabated with Honor and Glory up next.

It's interesting to hear the subtle changes in the riffing as the episodes fly by. Some just sound like a chore while others sound like they're genuinely having a good time cracking each other up.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Watching The Curse of Bigfoot right now and man, what the gently caress is up with this movie? I'm finally at the point where I think the movie is starting?

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



"I could sit back and watch them all day for night." is a pretty great riff.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


SirPhoebos posted:

I watched it too and it was...better than I was expecting? I've watched/listened to reviews of other DeCoteau movies and they sounded more unwatchable than Rollergator. This had a discernible-ish plot and while the characters weren't compelling it was clear which ones I should be rooting for. And being military sci-fi the vague porno tones are at least par for the course.

It's much higher quality than the movies he's put out in the last 10 years. He's had quite a weird career where his movies get progressively lower rent as time goes on. The earliest movie I've seen of his is Prehysteria 3 which is terrible, but it's a movie. The Journey Absolution is also a movie, the production values are a bit lower but it's less stupid so I liked it a bit more. Totem was a few years later and has lower production values, more amateurish acting and just splices in a bunch of stock footage of Vikings to pad out the run time.

After that he decided he could just do whatever and get paid for it so his movies look Room/Birdemic quality with more shirtless twinks and the same house in all of them.

CapnBry
Jul 15, 2002

I got this goin'

Grimey Drawer

muscles like this! posted:

I'm finally at the point where I think the movie is starting?
If you like being confused as to when a movie is starting, watch When a Stranger Calls Back, which is also on Amazon Prime. 30 minutes in I am like "Is this the end of the movie? Is this a short?" Then the movie starts, with all the momentum of starting a 1978 Mercedes 240 Diesel left sitting for a week in 40 below temperatures. Then, about 50 minutes later I wondered, "Was that the movie? Why was there even a movie part to this movie? Why ANYTHING, Lana"

I just watched Journey: Absolution last night. Space Bootcamp Yelling Dorm Men in Underwear, the movie. Is wearing a shirt a reward or a punishment? Guys, Jamie Pressly was from smuggler parents. That's where she came from.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Let me just break down how The Curse of Bigfoot works.

The movie starts with an interminable scene where a monster very slowly moves through some woods toward a house. The monster finally reaches the house and then the scene ends. Cut to:

A professor turning off a projector who starts to talk about monsters and then we learn that the previous scene was a movie? The professor talks about Bigfoot and how two loggers met Bigfoot. Cut to:

A long scene of logging culminating in two dorks stopping their truck, getting out and wandering through some woods until one of them gets killed? Cut to:

Back to the class where a guest lecturer shows up to talk about Bigfoot and says the following story happened to him and that all the people involved are institutionalized. Cut to:

The actual movie which is about a high school teacher (the narrator), an archaeologist and a grip of students who are going on a field trip to a small town in Oregon which has an Indian site nearby. They eventually encounter a monster, which has nothing to do with Bigfoot as it is some kind of ancient mummy they find buried in a mountain cave. Also nothing happens to any of the students that would drive them crazy as the monster is handily defeated with very few deaths. Once they defeat the monster the movie just ends without going back to the class.

The whole thing is weirdly constructed and kind of feels like someone pieced a film together out of separate parts.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

Fundamentals as sound as the WNBA


muscles like this! posted:

Let me just break down how The Curse of Bigfoot works.

The movie starts with an interminable scene where a monster very slowly moves through some woods toward a house. The monster finally reaches the house and then the scene ends. Cut to:

A professor turning off a projector who starts to talk about monsters and then we learn that the previous scene was a movie? The professor talks about Bigfoot and how two loggers met Bigfoot. Cut to:

A long scene of logging culminating in two dorks stopping their truck, getting out and wandering through some woods until one of them gets killed? Cut to:

Back to the class where a guest lecturer shows up to talk about Bigfoot and says the following story happened to him and that all the people involved are institutionalized. Cut to:

The actual movie which is about a high school teacher (the narrator), an archaeologist and a grip of students who are going on a field trip to a small town in Oregon which has an Indian site nearby. They eventually encounter a monster, which has nothing to do with Bigfoot as it is some kind of ancient mummy they find buried in a mountain cave. Also nothing happens to any of the students that would drive them crazy as the monster is handily defeated with very few deaths. Once they defeat the monster the movie just ends without going back to the class.

The whole thing is weirdly constructed and kind of feels like someone pieced a film together out of separate parts.

I am pretty sure I've seen this but have no actual memory of it. I have memories of Rollergator and Balloonland, but I couldn't even describe a vague scene from Curse of Bigfoot.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



MassRafTer posted:

I am pretty sure I've seen this but have no actual memory of it. I have memories of Rollergator and Balloonland, but I couldn't even describe a vague scene from Curse of Bigfoot.

Its 4 bad movies stuffed into a closet to play 90 minute run time in heaven

SirPhoebos
Dec 10, 2007

Horned Rat-Sempai Noticed Me!


"THE CURSE OF BIGFOOT!"

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Kevin flipping out at the movie's blatant rubbing it in of their poor day to night shooting was pretty great.

Gavok
Oct 10, 2005

Brock! Oh, man, I'm sorry about your...

...tooth?




There's a great YouTube channel/series called Defunctland that's all about the history of defunct amusement park rides and, to a lesser extent, amusement parks. Stuff like Jaws, ExtraTERRORestrial, Superstar Limo, Captain EO, Action Park, etc. On the Facebook page, months back, I suggested the idea of doing an episode about Pirates World, including its relation to Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

Today the season 2 trailer was released and I'm pumped:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW1OzKvZE4c

That is definitely some Pirates World footage in there.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

New VOD: Berserker - Hell's Warrior.

From the man who gave us The Little Unicorn and Merlin - The Return.

Old Kentucky Shark
May 25, 2012

If you think you're gonna get sympathy from the shark, well then, you won't.



This doesn't have anything to do with Rifftrax, but Disney's ExtraTERRORestrial was legitimately terrifying and amazing, and it's really sad that it's gone forever.

It's strange that, in a world where all media and entertainment is infinitely reproducible forever, theme park rides end up being one of the only points of real loss in pop culture.

Ghostpilot
Jun 21, 2007

"As a rule, I never touch anything more sophisticated and delicate than myself."

Whoops, ignore this.

Canned Panda
Jul 10, 2012






New riff was released on Friday: Invasion of the Animal People!



quote:

What do a furry monster terrorizing Lapland, a wrecked spaceship, John Carradine, and a beautiful skiing star have in common? Very little, as it turns out! Nonetheless, youíll find them all in Invasion of the Animal People!

Itís fitting that a monster movie like this be stitched together, Frankenstein-style, from the parts of other films. Films that should have been left to rot in peace. A spaceship crashes in Sweden -- or maybe itís Zurich, the piecemeal movie is pretty consistently inconsistent about what country weíre supposed to be in. Suffice to say, the less you know about Scandinavian geography, the more things will make sense. Anyway, the crashed spaceship kills some reindeer (thatíll teach them to taunt Rudolph) and so some people go to investigate it, and talk a lot, and occasionally we cut to John Carradine, the narrator, who talks even more.

But do we ever finally get to the titular Animal People? Yes! Well, no. But we do get one Animal Person, a hilarious monster straight out of the leftover inventory in the back of the Halloween store that sets up shop in your local abandoned Blockbuster every year. Spooky!

Strap on some skis and rip up your map of Western Europe, itís time to join Mike, Kevin and Bill for Invasion of the Animal People!

https://www.rifftrax.com/invasion-of-the-animal-people

Watching this one really felt like prime Sci-Fi era MST.

Mister Kingdom
Dec 14, 2005

And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

So, The Journey: Absolution.

What in the gently caress?

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muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Watched Pressure Point last night and okay, so the main character doesn't actually assassinate the guy at the beginning of the movie but he sure was trying to. So he kind of does deserve to be in jail.

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