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dogstile
May 1, 2012

fucking clocks
how do they work?


Dillbag posted:

I am in no way calling you out or suggesting anything, but I have seen things like this happen to "the stinky guy".

I at least know this isn't me so no worries! I once worked in a gaming shop and had to deal with the cat piss guy, was terrible and a constant reminder that I should smell nice.

Sickening posted:

They were wanting to talk about you right away.

Nobody telling you about what was bothering them about you usually means the thing they didn't like was embarrassing to mention or you blow up easily. The stinky guy, bad breath guy, rear end crack guy, and disgusting habit guy generally fits those themes really well. Did you eat your own boogers or something?

Again, none of these would make sense. I now work at a company that serves pretty high end clients (AKA, very rich and judgemental) and i'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been hired if I didn't present myself properly. I just don't think I got along with them, we were pretty different politically and we didn't really agree on film taste (for example, rogue one was better than the force awakens, they didn't agree).

Fakeedit: Saw the post that you were joking about the boogers thing. Didn't know if you were at first.

Ghostlight posted:

I'm interested in how you reach this dismissive and unhelpful conclusion.

Like, if it weren't something they did or something about their person, then what do you even imagine these goons would confront them about? "poo poo, I really feel awkward saying hello to that person every day at work, better form a conspiracy with all the other awkward dweebs at work to push them out" already requires far more social skills than you're ascribing to them. And even if it was that, it would still be good to know that the reason you lost your job was because you were socially intimidating to the wizards.

They weren't socially awkward nerds who never talked to eachother at all. I want to get this straight, 90% of them were completely likeable people, with the other 10% being people who I shared absolutely nothing in common with, but I also never interacted with them so maybe I was wrong. If anything, my girlfriend looked at them and said "dude, you work with mega nerds" but the mega nerds were still cool dudes who both didn't smell/weren't assholes.

I just don't think I got along with them like the last dude who worked there and they decided that based on that and that my scripting wasn't particularly up to scratch, I wouldn't be working there any longer. Don't get me wrong, I was doing a mix of support and other tasks and stayed well within my deadlines, but if you don't like the people you're working with and they're on probation, it doesn't surprise me that they'd try again. You're working with that person for 8 hours a day and everyone in that office went home and continued interacting with eachother via games.

Like I said, sucks for me, but I landed on my feet, they gave me some time to find another job and I found one before they stopped paying me. It truly sucks because I liked the place, but i understand. Hopefully the next guy they hire is what they want.

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Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013





Methanar posted:

Buy a used Fortigate 100d and FortiGuard license for like, 2000 dollars altogether on ebay and use that.
100e is not that much more expensive, but yeah get a Fortigate and a support license that includes FortiGuard.

The 100d/e should easily handle the traffic load from your campus. Let Fortinet do the heavy lifting of categorization. It's been a while since I've used one, but I'm pretty sure if you use FortiGuard, you get multiple updates a day.

Based on the angry "why is this porn site blocked I thought this was America!" emails the firewall team has shared, it does a pretty good job at blocking specific categories of sites.

RedMagus
Nov 16, 2005

Male....Female...what does it matter? Power is beautiful, and I've got the power!


Grimey Drawer

Today in "Why you should check your software patches on a test domain before rollout":

our software deployment team rolled out a Malware Bytes update (ie: just let it pull from the update server from the actual company) and it completely hosed DNS on all the machines on our network. So we helpdesk grunts are seeing call hold times of 10+ minutes while we manually remote into each device and remove the software, and hope SCCM doesn't reinstall it tonight.

at least we're getting catered lunch? I hope it's not pizza

stevewm
May 10, 2005


I see A/V vendors are following the Microsoft way.. Let customers be your testers.

SEKCobra
Feb 28, 2011


stevewm posted:

I see A/V vendors are following the Microsoft way.. Let customers be your testers.

They pay you, instead of you paying them = genius.

The Iron Rose
May 12, 2012

Cat Army


RedMagus posted:

Today in "Why you should check your software patches on a test domain before rollout":

our software deployment team rolled out a Malware Bytes update (ie: just let it pull from the update server from the actual company) and it completely hosed DNS on all the machines on our network. So we helpdesk grunts are seeing call hold times of 10+ minutes while we manually remote into each device and remove the software, and hope SCCM doesn't reinstall it tonight.

at least we're getting catered lunch? I hope it's not pizza

...how the hell did that even happen?

More to the point, SCCM will absolutely reinstall it, depending on how the update was rolled out. But unless the deployment has been removed from the device collection, it's just going to keep reinstalling on every machine.

Malek
Jun 22, 2003

Shut up Girl!
And as always: Kill Hitler.


RedMagus posted:

Today in "Why you should check your software patches on a test domain before rollout":

our software deployment team rolled out a Malware Bytes update (ie: just let it pull from the update server from the actual company) and it completely hosed DNS on all the machines on our network. So we helpdesk grunts are seeing call hold times of 10+ minutes while we manually remote into each device and remove the software, and hope SCCM doesn't reinstall it tonight.

at least we're getting catered lunch? I hope it's not pizza

Wait... didn't this happen before back in 2014 or something?

Johnny Aztec
Jan 29, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 20 days!


Malek posted:

Wait... didn't this happen before back in 2014 or something?

What was old is new again

Alighieri
Dec 10, 2005






RedMagus posted:

Today in "Why you should check your software patches on a test domain before rollout":

our software deployment team rolled out a Malware Bytes update (ie: just let it pull from the update server from the actual company) and it completely hosed DNS on all the machines on our network. So we helpdesk grunts are seeing call hold times of 10+ minutes while we manually remote into each device and remove the software, and hope SCCM doesn't reinstall it tonight.

at least we're getting catered lunch? I hope it's not pizza

So that's what happened to a clients SQL server we access and suddenly could not access. After politely informing them server platforms shouldn't really need malware bytes at all their IT replied with "we need it for security."

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box




Malek posted:

Wait... didn't this happen before back in 2014 or something?

I think it was longer ago than that, but worse. McAfee flagged svchost.exe as malicious on an update and a fuckton of places auto-updated in the middle of the day and royally shat the bed.

GreenNight
Feb 19, 2006
Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

AlexDeGruven posted:

I think it was longer ago than that, but worse. McAfee flagged svchost.exe as malicious on an update and a fuckton of places auto-updated in the middle of the day and royally shat the bed.

This happened to us. Was all hands on deck with us and all our consultants to fix this gently caress up. We went straight to Sophos after that.

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box




GreenNight posted:

This happened to us. Was all hands on deck with us and all our consultants to fix this gently caress up. We went straight to Sophos after that.

We had operating room computers bootlooping in the middle of the day.

Forefront rollout began within days.

Malek
Jun 22, 2003

Shut up Girl!
And as always: Kill Hitler.


AlexDeGruven posted:

I think it was longer ago than that, but worse. McAfee flagged svchost.exe as malicious on an update and a fuckton of places auto-updated in the middle of the day and royally shat the bed.

No this was Malware Bytes and they pulled the update within about an hour of putting it out. It was kinda "Wow" but they had a great response.

It was 2013 actually according to my emails... so... OH here it is

https://blog.malwarebytes.com/malwarebytes-news/2013/04/yesterdays-database-update-issue/

Actuarial Fables
Jul 29, 2014



Taco Defender

RedMagus posted:

Today in "Why you should check your software patches on a test domain before rollout":

our software deployment team rolled out a Malware Bytes update (ie: just let it pull from the update server from the actual company) and it completely hosed DNS on all the machines on our network. So we helpdesk grunts are seeing call hold times of 10+ minutes while we manually remote into each device and remove the software, and hope SCCM doesn't reinstall it tonight.

at least we're getting catered lunch? I hope it's not pizza

We ran afoul of this issue over the weekend. All our internal network services are hosted within the blocked range of addresses, so that was great.

hihifellow
Jun 17, 2005

seriously where the fuck did this genre come from


Client put a request in a month ago to load balance their Exchange 2013 servers on a Netscaler, and get a process down for adding Exchange 2016 servers when they're built. I go guide hunting and co-worker poking, find out all 9 of the web services (along with the SMTP and IMAP ports) that need to be load balanced, prep a document with every step I'd need to take (over 100 lines of commands to paste in to the cli), and get ready to do it all today.

Client posted:

Oh we just need SMTP load balanced, we've got a hybrid setup with O365

Did it all in like 11 commands...

AlexDeGruven
Jun 29, 2007

Watch me pull my dongle out of this tiny box




Malek posted:

No this was Malware Bytes and they pulled the update within about an hour of putting it out. It was kinda "Wow" but they had a great response.

It was 2013 actually according to my emails... so... OH here it is

https://blog.malwarebytes.com/malwarebytes-news/2013/04/yesterdays-database-update-issue/

Ahh, the McAfee thing was even longer back, then.

Edit: April 2010.

AlexDeGruven fucked around with this message at 04:35 on Jan 30, 2018

Dillbag
Mar 4, 2007

Click here to join Lem Lee in the Hell Of Being Cut To Pieces


Nap Ghost





RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418




I understand all but that last one. Last one just looks like finger smudges getting caught in the light.

Jorath
Jul 9, 2001


The last one is infuriating! Monitor != touchscreen !!!!!

Mr. Fix It
Oct 26, 2000

ayyy




RFC2324 posted:

I understand all but that last one. Last one just looks like finger smudges getting caught in the light.

people poking at an iMac screen thinking it's a touchscreen + no cleaning.

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418



Oh, i expected something gross like moldy frog or mummified lizard, not just dumb.

Arquinsiel
Jun 1, 2006

"There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families. And no government can do anything except through people, and people must look to themselves first."

God Bless Margaret Thatcher
God Bless England
RIP My Iron Lady


I was thinking it looked vaguely like a bird strike, but on closer inspection it's just smudges.

Merijn
Nov 7, 2005

The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.


It's probably just children. My toddler thinks everything that looks like a play icon ( ▶) means he can tap it and start a movie. Tablet, phone, TV, newspaper, magazines... tap tap tap tap

Nth Doctor
Sep 7, 2010

Darkrai used Dream Eater!
It's super effective!




Merijn posted:

It's probably just children. My toddler thinks everything that looks like a play icon ( ▶) means he can tap it and start a movie. Tablet, phone, TV, newspaper, magazines... tap tap tap tap

I'm in an ongoing debate with my six year old over her opinion that ▌▌ means play, because that's what the button changes to while things are playing. No amount of evidence has yet convinced her.

nielsm
Jun 1, 2009




Fallen Rib

Nth Doctor posted:

I'm in an ongoing debate with my six year old over her opinion that ▌▌ means play, because that's what the button changes to while things are playing. No amount of evidence has yet convinced her.

Get her a cassette tape deck, with mechanical buttons not electronic controls.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!




We had a GD here that sneeze and say and spray all over her screen, her iMac looked ten times worse than that. Never cleaned the drat thing either.

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013





Bob Morales posted:

We had a GD here that sneeze and say and spray all over her screen, her iMac looked ten times worse than that. Never cleaned the drat thing either.

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy


A ticket came in

"Customer states *company* hotspot is causing health issues with her body. Customer requests callback"

Well that one's getting added to the recordbooks. I feel bad for whoever has to call them back.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Renegret posted:

"Customer states *company* hotspot is causing health issues with her body. Customer requests callback"
You have the correct answer to that in your title.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!



Renegret posted:

A ticket came in

"Customer states *company* hotspot is causing health issues with her body. Customer requests callback"

Well that one's getting added to the recordbooks. I feel bad for whoever has to call them back.

We put a cell phone extender in 2 offices that we have because we're in a poo poo cell phone reception area.



Nobody wants to sit by the 'cancer box'. So they'll unplug it and think we won't know.

Nuclearmonkee
Jun 10, 2009




Renegret posted:

A ticket came in

"Customer states *company* hotspot is causing health issues with her body. Customer requests callback"

Well that one's getting added to the recordbooks. I feel bad for whoever has to call them back.

When I worked in local government I went to a public meeting to act as the technical details nerd for questions about a p2p microwave network project to extend broadband coverage to remote county locations.

We spent two hours or so explaining how these were not govt mind control ray emitters and how they do not cause headaches or cancer in people living 50 miles from a highly directional transceiver on a mountain.

Wireless crazies own.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Nuclearmonkee posted:

When I worked in local government I went to a public meeting to act as the technical details nerd for questions about a p2p microwave network project to extend broadband coverage to remote county locations.

We spent two hours or so explaining how these were not govt mind control ray emitters and how they do not cause headaches or cancer in people living 50 miles from a highly directional transceiver on a mountain.

Wireless crazies own.

You'll know if you're in the affected area of a microwave antenna by the drink in your hand starting to boil on its own. That and the bigass dish antenna in your immediate vicinity.

stevewm
May 10, 2005


Renegret posted:

A ticket came in

"Customer states *company* hotspot is causing health issues with her body. Customer requests callback"

Well that one's getting added to the recordbooks. I feel bad for whoever has to call them back.

Ugh, brings back memories...

We had a now former employee that claimed the CCTV camera hanging from the ceiling several tens of feet from her area was giving her headaches due to its "negative energy magnetic field". The thing is, this camera wasn't even live anymore, hadn't been for years, and never was during her employment there. We had upgraded our CCTV system several years prior. Instead of ripping the old cameras down, the wire going to them was cut off and we left them in place. We did this to make it appear that we had more cameras than we actually did. (retail store). There where many other cameras close by that where actually active, but she claimed it was only that one she "felt"; the one that wasn't actually working. Upon being told this she still claimed she could feel the "negative energy".

She was a bit of a strange one. Talked about healing crystals, oregone, etc.. the whole nine yards of crazy. Her crystals certainly didn't help her keep the job.

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009



Bob Morales posted:

Nobody wants to sit by the 'cancer box'. So they'll unplug it and think we won't know.
Put it above the ceiling. Out of sight out of mind.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012






https://clientsfromhell.net/post/170186662589/a-client-sent-me-one-excel-document-with-five
Saw this and thought of you, thread.

quote:

A client sent me one excel document with five sheets.

The spreadsheet had several attached word files. Yes, the files in their entirety were attached inside the sheets.

In sheet #1 there were four Word documents.

In sheet # 2 there were two more word documents.

Within each of these word documents, there were yet another two Word documents.

In sheet #3 there were four more word documents and another excel file.

And the excel file contained one single page that would’ve looked much better in Word.

The Macaroni
Dec 20, 2002
...it does nothing.

Turtles alllllllll the way down.

Had a recent repeat of the ol' "What do you mean I can't attach a DVD/2GB video file to an email? Next thing you'll tell me is that we can't stream this video to our users over the LMS server!" Actually, that was indeed the very next thing I was about to tell you.

The Macaroni fucked around with this message at 15:12 on Jan 30, 2018

nielsm
Jun 1, 2009




Fallen Rib

Bob Morales posted:

Nobody wants to sit by the 'cancer box'. So they'll unplug it and think we won't know.

I think the correct response is to contact the office as soon as monitoring shows it going offline. "Our monitoring shows that the cell antenna is failing. We just wanted to inform you before it becomes business critical, so you can plan around it."

spog
Aug 7, 2004

It's your own bloody fault.


Renegret posted:

A ticket came in

"Customer states *company* hotspot is causing health issues with her body. Customer requests callback"

Well that one's getting added to the recordbooks. I feel bad for whoever has to call them back.

I bet the number the customer gave was a cell phone.

Inspector_666
Oct 7, 2003

benny with the good hair


spog posted:

I bet the number the customer gave was a cell phone.

My mother recently forwarded some article to everybody in the family about how you shouldn't keep your cell phone in a pocket because or radiation etc. I pointed out that I didn't really want to carry around a lead-lined container for my phone, especially since my parents get mad when I don't answer their calls. The article also implied that the radiation from the cell towers get "shot at" your phone when you use it as if there are a jillion little monodirectional antennae pointing at people when they use their phones.

All of this also ignores that I live in New York City, so even if I threw my phone into the river I'm surrounded by them and probably breathing more dangerous poo poo in 24/7.

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feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008




GreenNight posted:

This happened to us. Was all hands on deck with us and all our consultants to fix this gently caress up. We went straight to Sophos after that.

And then https://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/09/20/sophos_auto_immune_update_chaos/ happened to you?

I started work at Sophos literally just after that happened. Made for an..interesting atmosphere (though fortunately it wasn't my or my team's problem).

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