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Valeyard
Mar 30, 2012


Grimey Drawer
I had an interview today with startup B that ended at 12, I had a positive decision in my email by 12.45 inviting me for a final on-site interview

I've never seen turnaround that quickly

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Mao Zedong Thot
Oct 16, 2008


Valeyard posted:

I had an interview today with startup B that ended at 12, I had a positive decision in my email by 12.45 inviting me for a final on-site interview

I've never seen turnaround that quickly

I had one of those -- interviewed with the founders, they emailed me 15 mins after the callr asking for salary requirements to send an official offer. dropped the ball after that though, they dragged feet for like 4 weeks getting board approval on the equity grant. sucks for them, cause I would have taken the job had they gotten back to me

Valeyard
Mar 30, 2012


Grimey Drawer
i also asked some of the questions from the OP to two different interviewers today, so thanks :tipshat:

Doom Mathematic
Sep 2, 2008

Symbolic Butt posted:

I wasn't part of the interviewing process, I only caught a glimpse of a few candidates. It was an internship position, the parents seemed kind of poor and were like "our son is really smart, unlike us, please he really deserves a chance"

Well I hope you gave him a chance :(

susan b buffering
Nov 14, 2016

Pendragon posted:

just finished 3 hours of phone interviews for junior candidates. I'm done talking for today. on the plus side all seemed pretty smart and I'll probably bring all three in for an on-site.

on the subject of callbacks, I asked my boss what he says to candidates that don't make it.

"I tell them we'll get back to them and then usually don't get back to them"

not about to let that slide after reading this thread.

my most recent internship rejection email said they decided to move forward with another candidate

sent from a NOREPLY email which seemed a bit tacky

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

Pendragon posted:

"I tell them we'll get back to them and then usually don't get back to them"

not about to let that slide after reading this thread.

god bless

Notorious b.s.d.
Jan 25, 2003

by Reene

Valeyard posted:

I had an interview today with startup B that ended at 12, I had a positive decision in my email by 12.45 inviting me for a final on-site interview

I've never seen turnaround that quickly

both of my last fortune 500 interviews resulted in an offer within an hour

this poo poo is v. unpredictable because the candidate has zero insight into what is happening inside the org

Blinkz0rz
May 27, 2001

MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS

Sapozhnik posted:

hmm i dunno man our capex budget is pretty lean this quarter, you'll have to escalate that to the coo

*shovels another $750,000 into the AWS money furnace*

too real

Blinkz0rz
May 27, 2001

MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS

Valeyard posted:

I had an interview today with startup B that ended at 12, I had a positive decision in my email by 12.45 inviting me for a final on-site interview

I've never seen turnaround that quickly

my current job was a 10-2 interview and when i finished the recruiter i was working with came in and said they wanted to move forward

it was fantastic and a huge weight off my mind

Star War Sex Parrot
Oct 2, 2003

ADINSX posted:

Some dorks in the 70s figured out the best way to do it
Having spent the last week watching lectures and reading papers about query optimizers, they actually havenít

Itís not an easy problem, but Microsoft seems to be in the lead with theirs

toiletbrush
May 17, 2010
Query optimisers are nuts. There's so much to learn about SQL, and every time you get close to thinking you finally basically understand it, another world of poo poo you don't know opens up. First it's joins and views, then maybe transactions, isolation levels and locks...then indexes and perhaps query plans...then you discover the joys of statistics, page splits, fill factors...and all that's just a tiny facet of the whole thing. I'm going to be looking for work soon, and I'm dreading getting interview questions on it.

That said, I interviewed someone last week for a senior C# position who'd been using ORMs for years but said he couldn't answer any SQL questions because writing raw sql was a premature optimisation so he never bothered to learn it. It was like, wtf, how can you not even be interested.

DELETE CASCADE
Oct 25, 2017

i haven't washed my penis since i jerked it to a phtotograph of george w. bush in 2003
there's a strange tendency for application programmers to view sql as somehow beneath them, which is especially funny when their application is primarily an interface to a sql database

Shaman Linavi
Apr 3, 2012

went to apply again at a place i interviewed at last year and couldn't find any way to update my resume on their page. so much for that i guess.

qhat
Jul 6, 2015


toiletbrush posted:

Query optimisers are nuts. There's so much to learn about SQL, and every time you get close to thinking you finally basically understand it, another world of poo poo you don't know opens up. First it's joins and views, then maybe transactions, isolation levels and locks...then indexes and perhaps query plans...then you discover the joys of statistics, page splits, fill factors...and all that's just a tiny facet of the whole thing. I'm going to be looking for work soon, and I'm dreading getting interview questions on it.

That said, I interviewed someone last week for a senior C# position who'd been using ORMs for years but said he couldn't answer any SQL questions because writing raw sql was a premature optimisation so he never bothered to learn it. It was like, wtf, how can you not even be interested.

Dude if you know that indices are ordered then you are above 99% of fuckheads that work with databases.

HoboMan
Nov 4, 2010

Shaman Linavi posted:

went to apply again at a place i interviewed at last year and couldn't find any way to update my resume on their page. so much for that i guess.

this happened to me too

why are online application portals so universally poo poo?

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

HoboMan posted:

this happened to me too

why are online application portals so universally poo poo?

itís recruiting but automated by the lowest bidder

qhat
Jul 6, 2015


University portals for job recruiting lol. Another useless North American invention.

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

please upload your resume and also type in everything

worst one i've seen so far is the danish police's recruiting portal which is a SAP-web-thing

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

by Shine

Boiled Water posted:

please upload your resume and also type in everything

worst one i've seen so far is the danish police's recruiting portal which is a SAP-web-thing

Pigs out of YOSPOS.

tazjin
Jul 24, 2015


Pendragon posted:

on the subject of callbacks, I asked my boss what he says to candidates that don't make it.

"I tell them we'll get back to them and then usually don't get back to them"

not about to let that slide after reading this thread.

I like to take the final interview one-on-one because then you can be pretty open with the candidate about why you're rejecting them, and maybe even allow them to ask questions and such, without making it a public-humiliation style situation with some other interviewer present

HoboMan
Nov 4, 2010

i have a "meeting" scheduled with the cio of the company that purchased us to "gauge my willingness to work with them"

Progressive JPEG
Feb 19, 2003

HoboMan posted:

this happened to me too

why are online application portals so universally poo poo?

the people paying for them aren't the people who will use them

Progressive JPEG
Feb 19, 2003

Boiled Water posted:

worst one i've seen so far is the danish police's recruiting portal which is a SAP-web-thing

yeah it's a bit overkill for a form that just asks whether or not you hate roma

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

Progressive JPEG posted:

yeah it's a bit overkill for a form that just asks whether or not you hate roma

hey now thatís uncalled for

it also needs to ask if youíre currently a pig. you have to tell the truth otherwise itís entrapment

Share Bear
Apr 27, 2004

DELETE CASCADE posted:

there's a strange tendency for application programmers to view sql as somehow beneath them, which is especially funny when their application is primarily an interface to a sql database

i absolutely rag on this for any of my other coworkers that are like "oh you dont need to do SQL so its great"

this is how we got mongo motherfcukers

Shaggar
Apr 26, 2006

DELETE CASCADE posted:

there's a strange tendency for application programmers to view sql as somehow beneath them, which is especially funny when their application is primarily an interface to a sql database

sql is the only good part of any application

qhat
Jul 6, 2015


I just had an idea. I'm going to create a recurrent neural network bot trained on shaggar's post history and which automatically posts within seconds whenever the subject of SQL or Microsoft hits a thread on yospos, and see if anyone notices the difference.

Notorious b.s.d.
Jan 25, 2003

by Reene

qhat posted:

I just had an idea. I'm going to create a recurrent neural network bot trained on shaggar's post history and which automatically posts within seconds whenever the subject of SQL or Microsoft hits a thread on yospos, and see if anyone notices the difference.

don't forget bicycles

Munkeymon
Aug 14, 2003

Motherfucker's got an
armor-piercing crowbar! Rigoddamndicu𝜆ous.



I got a cold email from some external recruiter a couple weeks ago for a job in South Dakota so I deleted it thinking it was just normal mail merge spam. nope - the guy has followed up four times. gotta figure a normal person would figure out I wasn't going to respond after the second one where he said they were in the final round of interviews and I'd better hurry up to be considered didn't get me running in visibly out of breath holding a half-crumpled resume, but no, not this dude. maybe it's actually a sympathy play because I am wondering just how desperate you have to be to be so obviously thirsty

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016

:cheers:

Munkeymon posted:

I got a cold email from some external recruiter a couple weeks ago for a job in South Dakota so I deleted it thinking it was just normal mail merge spam. nope - the guy has followed up four times. gotta figure a normal person would figure out I wasn't going to respond after the second one where he said they were in the final round of interviews and I'd better hurry up to be considered didn't get me running in visibly out of breath holding a half-crumpled resume, but no, not this dude. maybe it's actually a sympathy play because I am wondering just how desperate you have to be to be so obviously thirsty

this is the best one i've gotten so far


'chances are good that you are not interested in in basically anything i have to say haha'

not exactly making a good pitch, pal

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

prior to the ucf/auburn bowl game, i had a recruiter pitch me a "bet" on the game. if ucf won i'd get a bowl game t-shirt; if auburn won i'd have to listen to his recruiter spiel for a half hour. i accepted. ucf won; i didn't get a t-shirt.

qhat
Jul 6, 2015


Rex-Goliath posted:

this is the best one i've gotten so far


'chances are good that you are not interested in in basically anything i have to say haha'

not exactly making a good pitch, pal

Tek systems from my experience are universally a bunch of clowns who have no idea what they are doing

kloa
Feb 14, 2007


qhat posted:

Tek systems recruiters from my experience are universally a bunch of clowns who have no idea what they are doing

ftfy

ThePeavstenator
Dec 18, 2012

:burger::burger::burger::burger::burger:

Establish the Buns

:burger::burger::burger::burger::burger:

qhat posted:

Tek systems from my experience are universally a bunch of clowns who have no idea what they are doing

I got roped into a 15 minute conversation with one of their recruiters months ago before I got my current job.

Apparently that recruiter left a month or two ago because since then I've been getting weekly voicemails from different recruiters saying that "so-and-so isn't with us anymore, but I'd be happy to connect and continue where you left off!" which leads me to believe that the second you leave the recruiting world your former coworkers all descend upon your contact list like vultures on an animal carcass.

qhat
Jul 6, 2015



At least most of the people that contact me read my profile and understand that if I have C++ then I can probably do a C++ job, and not like loving tech support or something.

Shaman Linavi
Apr 3, 2012

quote:

Join a company who is growing, awesome building, and laid back and people focused company culture.

if the people writing stuff like this are the people reviewing resumes maybe i shouldn't worry so much about having perfect decent grammar

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

qhat posted:

At least most of the people that contact me read my profile and understand that if I have C++ then I can probably do a C++ job, and not like loving tech support or something.

I too am wanted for my language skills.

the language is Danish

the job is literal printer support at xerox at one third my current wage

ďwhat do you mean youíre not interested in a phone interview?Ē

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
i dreamed that there was another layoff and i was the only one left, and when i tried to quit the company wouldn't let me. i spoke to the HR pawns but they didn't hear me, so I grabbed one and tried to sit her back down to process me but she just kept walking. the global boss insisted that he needed me for a project (do not ask what the project is!)

Gazpacho fucked around with this message at 14:50 on Apr 3, 2018

Space Whale
Nov 6, 2014
So (while feverish because recruiter want it done now!11one :bahgawd:) I did a thing:

quote:

Merge sort a really big file in a weird wonky way.

So I do it, and I pull out Moby Dick! :D

I try to send it in, and I run into spamfilter after spamfilter after spamfilter. Dunno if it's because of a .zip with my code, or "Dick" in the text. Don't Care.

So I want. Then the correspondence:

Recruiter: We heard from $JOB last night and unfortunately they did not feel that the coding exercise was in line with what they were looking for. They will be sending you the $200 payment for your time. I will let you know when new positions open up with our other clients. Thanks!

Me: Did they have any specific feedback? I was under the impression they cared about implementation and if it ran in reasonable time. Were they expecting object models or more methods added to the interface?

Recruiter: This was all that we were told:

The test results did not meet our expectations.

Me: Sorry for the pithy response.

Recruiter: We can try to get more detailed feedback for you. If we get anything more, I will let you know!

Me: It's not your fault that's all they said but I'm a little speechless. It ran on my machine, fit the requirements they
gave as best as I understood, and I anticipated some sort of review/"why this way?" process. I did this while
sick with a fever so maybe I overlooked something? Maybe they don't like tuples?

If you can't get anything else from them don't worry.

:q: lol interviews and screenings are shitshow. I'm glad I got $200 for it instead of a "gently caress you". Also in further "WTF" I actually passed a Hackerrank. I guess I'm slightly less bad now.

The WTF part is I'll be potentially working for a certain burrito company.

Edit: my code, in it's glorious terribleness. https://pastebin.com/JPFxG5YB

What should I be NOT doing in the future or more doing in the future? Object models? More classes? If it's a one off tool to do one thing and one thing only why would I bother doing so? I'm not asking to be petulant I want to understand their thinking, and what I should be doing, especially if they are two separate things.

Space Whale fucked around with this message at 19:17 on Apr 3, 2018

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Sapozhnik
Jan 2, 2005

Nap Ghost
i mean you probably shouldn't be posting interview questions verbatim either tbh

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