Are you the Russian!? - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Are you the Russian!?

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UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Advice on getting an MFA: don't, die alone in your parents' basement.

Clearly American, the Russian would advise getting drunk and writing sheer depression before committing suicide.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 23:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Mar 21, 2023 15:24

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:

Clearly American, the Russian would advise getting drunk and writing sheer depression before committing suicide.

yeah but he wouldn't have gotten a MFA

# ? Feb 2, 2018 23:22

Slim Pickens: Jan 12, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Da it's me, the American Johnny Hamburger! I love the baseball! Yankees is best!

# ? Feb 3, 2018 01:47

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

It's raining dogs and cats out there

# ? Feb 3, 2018 02:58

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:

It's raining dogs and cats out there

We eat tonight!

# ? Feb 3, 2018 03:06

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Good luck.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 03:06

mods changed my name: Oct 30, 2017

I am literally typing this as i piss

# ? Feb 3, 2018 03:12

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Good luck.

ALBANIAN SPOTTED

# ? Feb 3, 2018 03:24

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Slavic Crime Yacht posted:

ALBANIAN SPOTTED

Great Escape dude, the train

# ? Feb 3, 2018 04:06

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Aw, gently caress, how did I miss this?

# ? Feb 6, 2018 00:16

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Is it too late? gently caress it, I'M GOING IN, BOYS.

# ? Feb 6, 2018 00:36

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Ok I'm going through the answers now. Wow, you people are bad at following directions.

edit:I stopped replying to the emails that didn't follow directions, so I'll tell you here - if you didn't format your answers like I said to, I didn't count your entry. You're welcome to resubmit in the next 24 hours with the right version.

Zeris fucked around with this message at 03:44 on Feb 7, 2018

# ? Feb 7, 2018 03:40

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

USA! USA! USA!

# ? Feb 7, 2018 03:50

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:

USA! USA! USA!

# ? Feb 7, 2018 06:48

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

https://youtu.be/lDQ7hXMLxGc

# ? Feb 7, 2018 07:21

Terrible Robot: Jul 2, 2010; FRIED CHICKEN; Slippery Tilde

lol jesus gently caress

# ? Feb 7, 2018 12:17

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Is always being cold in Siberia.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 16:49

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Ok done.

In some cases, a second-most-popular answer will be tallied. Let's do winners, prizes, and losers later today.

1. Who is the best pre-Trump US President?

Popular answer: Three-way tie between FDR, Teddy Roosevelt, and Lincoln (2 pts)
Runner up: N/A

2. What is the worst political party in the history (or present) of the United States?

Popular answer: The whig party (3 pts)
Runner up: Tea party (2 pts)

3. How many current members of congress (on 1/15/2018) are military veterans?

Popular answer: Between 98 and 100 (3 pts)
Runner up: Between 81 and 83 (2 pts)

4. Is the United States Marine Corps its own branch of service, or a part of the Navy?

Popular answer: No (8 pts)
Runner up: Obsolete / anachronism / department of crayola (3 pts lol)

5. How many editions of the dick art book have been published?

Popular answer: Two (8 pts)
Runner up: Three (2 pts)

6. Who is the patron saint of GIP?

Popular answer: Freddie Mercury (4 pts)
Runner up: N/A

7. Which MRE makes you poo poo you pants?

Popular answer: Jambalaya (6 pts)
Runner up: N/A

8. Who is the collectively most hated mod of GIP?

Popular answer: Grover (9 pts)
Runner up: Ralp (2 pts)

9. What year did GIP become its own subforum?

Popular answer: If you managed to write a number, you get 8 pts.
Runner up: If writing a number was too hard, you get 0 pts.

10. Which regular GIP poster currently on active duty is the dumbest?

Popular answer: All of them (6 pts)
Runner up: Mustang (3 pts)

11. Does kneeling during the national anthem insult your service to this great country?

Popular answer: No (9 pts)
Runner up: N/A

12. What's the highest rank (any nationality) of anyone who has posted in GIP?

Popular answer: O-6 (4 pts)
Runner up: N/A

13. Which US-involved war was/is the coolest?

Popular answer: WWII (5 pts)
Runner up: Civil War (2 pts)

14. What will ultimately cause the demise of the United States?

Popular answer: Nuclear weapons (3 pts)
Runner up: Hubris (2 pts)

15. What is the best dog in GIP?

Popular answer: All of them (8 pts)
Runner up:

Zeris fucked around with this message at 19:44 on Feb 7, 2018

# ? Feb 7, 2018 19:32

mods changed my name: Oct 30, 2017

Lol at mustang

# ? Feb 7, 2018 19:37

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I think I know the runner up for 15 and now I'm sad

# ? Feb 7, 2018 19:46

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Hey I said Sherman for patron saint why wasn't my vote counted

VOTER SUPPRESSION

# ? Feb 7, 2018 20:40

mods changed my name: Oct 30, 2017

Slavic Crime Yacht posted:

Hey I said Sherman for patron saint why wasn't my vote counted

VOTER SUPPRESSION

My understanding is that it only counts if multiple people say the same thing

# ? Feb 7, 2018 20:43

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Oh, no, I answered "best political party." :negative:

# ? Feb 7, 2018 20:43

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

mods change my name posted:

My understanding is that it only counts if multiple people say the same thing

Well...

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Feb 7, 2018 20:45

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Ok it was a good one:

Deathy McDeath came in first and is an all-American with 73 points.

He gets to choose the fate of his Russian foe, terrible robot, with 70 points, who is clearly a spy attempting to influence the forums.

Deathy notably was the first to submit answers to the challenge, so it's a little strange...

Notable as well - overall loser and bad poster UP THE BUM NO BABY aka Pesticide bottomed out with a shameful 33 points, the least of any contender.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 18:34

mods changed my name: Oct 30, 2017

eat shti PISSticide

# ? Feb 8, 2018 18:37

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

RIP me

# ? Feb 8, 2018 18:40

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

mods change my name posted:

eat shti PISSticide

# ? Feb 8, 2018 19:00

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I didn't play so obviously I couldn't be the Russian :chord:

# ? Feb 8, 2018 19:15

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

I didn't play so obviously I couldn't be the Russian

Nork spotted.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 19:45

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Naked Bear posted:

Nork spotted.

anybody seen any coooooooooooooooooodes

# ? Feb 8, 2018 20:22

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

I didn't play so obviously I couldn't be the Russian

# ? Feb 8, 2018 20:26

Time Crisis Actor: Apr 28, 2002; by Hand Knit
(and can't post for 9 days!)

Zeris posted:

Ok it was a good one:

Deathy McDeath came in first and is an all-American with 73 points.

He gets to choose the fate of his Russian foe, terrible robot, with 70 points, who is clearly a spy attempting to influence the forums.

Deathy notably was the first to submit answers to the challenge, so it's a little strange...

Notable as well - overall loser and bad poster UP THE BUM NO BABY aka Pesticide bottomed out with a shameful 33 points, the least of any contender.

I request permission to issue a MOD CHALLENGE, with all the penalties associated with it.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 21:17

maffew buildings: Apr 29, 2009; too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned

Any way we can get a quick hits or best of spread on responses so we can laugh and regale in how we all have donkey brains?

# ? Feb 8, 2018 21:30

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

maffew buildings posted:

Any way we can get a quick hits or best of spread on responses so we can laugh and regale in how we all have donkey brains?

Some of you had a really time giving straight answers

# ? Feb 8, 2018 21:51

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

My name's not there wtf yo

# ? Feb 8, 2018 22:11

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Slavic Crime Yacht posted:

My name's not there wtf yo

You didn't enter

# ? Feb 8, 2018 22:29

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Zeris posted:

You didn't enter

I emailed you twice dude... junk mail?

# ? Feb 8, 2018 22:35

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Pasted here for your reading pleasure

1. Who is the best pre-Trump US President? B-Rock The Islamic Shock Superallah Hussein Obama
2. What is the worst political party in the history (or present) of the United States? The Confederacy
3. How many current members of congress (on 1/15/2018) are military veterans? All of them, they're all retarded
4. Is the United States Marine Corps its own branch of service, or a part of the Navy? A spy WOULD want to know that, wouldn't they?
5. How many editions of the dick art book have been published? 2 and if you don't own one suck my dick you fuckman
6. Who is the patron saint of GIP? General William Tecumseh Sherman, the burningest man in history
7. Which MRE makes you poo poo you pants? Never eaten one.
8. Who is the collectively most hated mod of GIP? Obvious answer is Grover, but I'm going with Hagetaka
9. What year did GIP become its own subforum? 2007 maybe?
10. Which regular GIP poster currently on active duty is the dumbest? Mustang
11. Does kneeling during the national anthem insult your service to this great country? I didn't serve, suck my dick
12. What's the highest rank (any nationality) of anyone who has posted in GIP? Probably FrozenVent since he's qualified as a 4 stripe. If merchant navy doesn't count, I'd think manmythlegend, I believe he was a Commander.
13. Which US-involved war was/is the coolest? Civil War, see my answer to patron saint.
14. What will ultimately cause the demise of the United States? A lack of Sherman
15. What is the best dog in GIP? Louis, gently caress you if you say otherwise

Love from Two Finger

# ? Feb 8, 2018 22:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Mar 21, 2023 15:24

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Oh I didn't count yours because you didn't follow the rules

# ? Feb 8, 2018 23:25

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Are you the Russian!?

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