Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007



Exchanging glaaances..



Kit Walker posted:

I’ve grown way, way more since then, fortunately, and my relationship (and relationship dynamic) with my wife is better than ever. She also recently mended things with that person and they started going out again, albeit long distance (again, because of the move). That person, on the other hand, firmly resents me and I don’t think any amount of charm is going to ever bridge that gap. It’s kind of incredible how good I am at not hooking up with people

oh yeah, this is a good and healthy place to be, allowing someone who resents you into the relationship. this certainly isn't the start to every 'and so the third/external relationship broke up the marriage' story I've heard in my time (and I'm a big queerbo with polyamorous friends)

Happy Thanksgiving, may the odds be ever in your favor.

EDIT:
Goddamit snype.

I honestly don't have too many dating stories, but I just moved back to the town I went to high school in, and am now part of an organization with the husband of a girl I used as a rebound from my first love and then TOTALLY loving GHOSTED in my teens and man is it awkward. I treated her like trash so I'm happy she found a nice guy. Ugh. It's like revisiting my old teen idiocy anew each time.

StrangersInTheNight has a new favorite as of 16:46 on Nov 22, 2018

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Arcsquad12
Mar 4, 2013

I Love Satan


Haven't gone on dates in years. First one started as an apology for being a drunken idiot at a party the night before which turned into a lunch date. Never saw her again. Second one became a short relationship that didn't work out because my grades were slipping and she got seriously imbalanced when she was off of her birth control and o got scared off.

And I don't do well on the online dating thing because I don't take good pictures and I low-key kinda hate myself.

sporklift
Aug 3, 2008

Feelin' it so hard.


LingcodKilla posted:


The movie was a murder mystery called “Lone Star”.
It was not a good first date movie. About as bad as “Kids”.

I had heard about this movie called The Bridge . I was a pretty big film nerd at the time so I saw all sorts of crazy movies with my friends and wasn't really thinking when I asked this girl to see it on our first real date. We were both pretty quiet after the movie. Still ended up dating for a little bit after but she had just turned 21 and I was in my thirties so the age gap always weirded me out.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

For that you get the head...

the tail...

the whole damned thing.

ShortyMR.CAT posted:

I paid $10 dollars to post on a comedy forum 10 years ago. Then I paid another $10 bucks after I got banned once.

drat, dude, that loving sucks.

Kit Walker
Jul 10, 2010
"The Man Who Cannot Deadlift"



Dixville posted:

Look I know this thread isn't e/n or whatever but if you don't see how this could go south real fast if you and your wife are ever not getting along at any point you are depressingly naive

We’ve been together for eight years now and we’re closer than we’ve ever been. I’m not too worried

StrangersInTheNight posted:

oh yeah, this is a good and healthy place to be, allowing someone who resents you into the relationship. this certainly isn't the start to every 'and so the third/external relationship broke up the marriage' story I've heard in my time (and I'm a big queerbo with polyamorous friends)

Happy Thanksgiving, may the odds be ever in your favor.

This is a more meaningful point. Fortunately, we’re both going back for the holidays to visit family and we’ll get to catch up with friends in person including her other partner. I haven’t spoken to them since we moved so it’ll be a good opportunity to clear the air. All I really need to do is talk over what happened and apologize sincerely for being a poo poo in the past, and it should sort things out. We’ve all grown up since then. I just really doubt I’ll ever be hooking up with them. Could’ve had a good thing!

LingcodKilla
Dec 28, 2002

I ate too much crab and transformed into this.



Skippy McPants posted:

I'm not sure being on SA in 2003 is something of which he should be proud. If anything, you've got the edge for resisting the abyss for an additional four years.

Hey!

Beer_Suitcase
May 3, 2005

Verily, the whip is ghost riding.





Bad Dates? My drug addiction caused a pretty memorable moment.

I spent about 12 hours in a utility closet in an unfinished apartment complex smoking speed with a girl I met on the internet. 


There was only one bare lightbulb and a power outlet in the closet. We we do a hit, talk a out stupid poo poo ,black helicopters, the "truth" about everything ect. Then she would turn to the laptop she had and put half the screen on porntube the other half on a jigsaw puzzle game. Our time vacillated between choosing the perfect porn clip, furious masturbation and intense scrutiny of digital jigsaw pieces.

It wasn't my proudest moment but it's pretty funny to think back on.

I'm sober now. I haven't touched meth in nearly 7 years.

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.


Grimey Drawer

I feel like I’ve mentioned this in another thread relatively recently but I once dated a woman who used the terms “do sex” or “did sex” rather than the typical “have/had sex”. Not too weird all in all, but she also called me constantly from her work throughout the day...at least 10 times a day. Her work was assisting special needs children at a school so I assumed maybe she should be paying attention to them? She also talked constantly about her ex which is always a red flag. She had an awesome dog though so I stuck around for a while.

Also when I inevitably broke it off, her dad called me the next day to berate me for “breaking her heart”.

She was 31 years old at the time.

pseudorandom
Jun 16, 2010




Yam Slacker

Beer_Suitcase posted:

Bad Dates? My drug addiction caused a pretty memorable moment.

I spent about 12 hours in a utility closet in an unfinished apartment complex smoking speed with a girl I met on the internet. 


There was only one bare lightbulb and a power outlet in the closet. We we do a hit, talk a out stupid poo poo ,black helicopters, the "truth" about everything ect. Then she would turn to the laptop she had and put half the screen on porntube the other half on a jigsaw puzzle game. Our time vacillated between choosing the perfect porn clip, furious masturbation and intense scrutiny of digital jigsaw pieces.

It wasn't my proudest moment but it's pretty funny to think back on.

I'm sober now. I haven't touched meth in nearly 7 years.

With the exception of the meth, that actually sounds kinda fun in a weird way.


I don't have any real bad date stories because I haven't been on many dates. The most awkward regret story was the time I ran into an acquaintance while drinking downtown with friends one night. We spent the night talking and getting along well, and eventually when it was getting late she invited me back to her apartment. I proceeded to just sit on her bed with her and talk for a bit before getting up to leave and asking if I could kiss her. She said yes, we kissed, and I walked out and went home.


It took me an embarrassingly long time before I realized the signals I missed and how dumb I was. But, at the time, I was an awkward virgin and both didn't know to initiate anything and was therefore afraid to initiate. Now, I'm just still awkward and still anxious about initiating.

Danger - Octopus!
Apr 20, 2008




Nap Ghost

When I was a very awkward nerd in my early 20s, I completely missed that a hot girl was hitting on me.

I was getting the train home from work, and there was an attractive woman maybe a few years older than me in the next seat. She asked where I was going, and when it turned out I'd be getting off the train at the same stop as her, she asked for directions to a place in the town that she was visiting since she wasn't familiar with that part of the town. She then took great pains to say where she'd be going for a drink later in the evening alone, and to let me know that she was staying in a hotel alone, and reiterated what time she would be going for a drink, and where. I nodded politely but inside was going "wtf I don't care about your evening plans, can't wait to go home and paint some space marine miniatures"

It wasn't until the next day I basically had a light bulb moment and realised that she was telling me this because it was basically an offer of a no-strings date. (or an invitation to a horrifying murder because I was a lonely nerd who wouldn't be missed, idk)

Six-Of-Hearts
Mar 17, 2009

"I want to break your heart, and give you mine."






Super Grocery Kart posted:


Also when I inevitably broke it off, her dad called me the next day to berate me for “breaking her heart”.

She was 31 years old at the time.

I'm pretty curious how this conversation went and for how long.
I had a relationship fall apart years ago and her sister called me to passive aggressive guilt trip me for "letting the relationship deteriorate" and how much it hurt her sister or whatever. 2 minutes into this call i asked: "So you're aware that i know she's been loving her ex, right?" and hung up.

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN

I met a lovely woman on eharmony who was upfront about having a young child. She had been recently divorced and trying to move on with her life. We had a nice date and she invited me to her kid sister's birthday party later that week. In hindsight I think she wanted her family to size me up because they asked me a million questions at the party which felt kind of awkward considering I had just met this woman a few days before. Oh, and I was so nervous about meeting her family that I accidentally locked my keys in my car as soon as I got there and her dad had to help me Jimmy the door open.

No surprise I didn't hear back from her. Probably ended up looking like a total goober to her family. Of course, it's pretty awkward to meet someone's family so early like that.

Carl Killer Miller
Apr 28, 2007

This is the way that it all falls.
This is how I feel,
This is what I need:


I was meeting a girl from a dating app at a coffee shop. She had a pretty unusual name. When I got to the coffee place, there was a girl who looked a fair amount like her loitering around. I asked the girl if she was [unusual name] and she said yes. I gave her a hug and asked her if she wanted to sit down. She looked a little weirded out, but I figured that maybe she wasn't the hug type. We sat down and she said "would you like to see my resume?"

Turns out that this was a totally different woman, coincidentally with the same name, who was applying to the coffee shop and was freaked out because a person that was ostensibly her new boss just hugged her.

The girl I was supposed to be with was watching this entire interaction from the upper level of the coffee shop. I sheepishly found her upstairs and sat down. The rest of the date did not go well.

jobson groeth
May 17, 2018

by FactsAreUseless


Carl Killer Miller posted:

I was meeting a girl from a dating app at a coffee shop. She had a pretty unusual name. When I got to the coffee place, there was a girl who looked a fair amount like her loitering around. I asked the girl if she was [unusual name] and she said yes. I gave her a hug and asked her if she wanted to sit down. She looked a little weirded out, but I figured that maybe she wasn't the hug type. We sat down and she said "would you like to see my resume?"

Turns out that this was a totally different woman, coincidentally with the same name, who was applying to the coffee shop and was freaked out because a person that was ostensibly her new boss just hugged her.

The girl I was supposed to be with was watching this entire interaction from the upper level of the coffee shop. I sheepishly found her upstairs and sat down. The rest of the date did not go well.

This is probably the funniest goon face blindness yet.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



I don't think I've got any bad stories where I hosed up, apart from one where I got sick on a date at Disney and had to suddenly lie down for a while instead of doing Disney things.

Usually my issue has been picking really bad partners.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

For that you get the head...

the tail...

the whole damned thing.


He said "2003". You're good

Is this the Bad Date thread now?

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.


Fun Shoe

BiggerBoat posted:

He said "2003". You're good

Is this the Bad Date thread now?

Every thread can be, if you wish it.

Mr Hootington
Jul 24, 2008

et tu hootay




My decade long friendship with a guy ended because I wouldn't gently caress his sister while I was in a long term relationship.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof



Mr Hootington posted:

My decade long friendship with a guy ended because I wouldn't gently caress his sister while I was in a long term relationship.

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/02705f...27-38df2b7f0fcc

Tex Avery
Feb 13, 2012


I haven't had any particularly notable bad dates, but I'll let you all share with me the horror of my obliviousness.

The first time I asked my now-wife on a date, she said no. She was vague about the reason, but that was okay by me. I can respect that. Unbeknownst to me, she had just gotten out of a brief but semi-abusive relationship less than a day before I asked her, so yeah, she was understandably wanting to avoid the dating scene for a little bit.

A couple of months later, she saw me at work. I had just parked a train and was getting ready to do all of the things you have to do to break up the train, so I was preoccupied with trying to plan it all out. She stopped me and said, "you know, if you'd just asked me out a few weeks later, I would have said yes."

My dumbass brain replied with "man, that sucks for me!" and continued walking away processing the work IMMEDIATELY. Okay, I've got to pull this car off and put it on track 4, then I can bring the rest back here and...

I made it a good ten paces out before I realized what that was and scrambled to fix my mistake. That was almost eight years ago. We just celebrated our sixth anniversary this last Tuesday.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.



Y'all can be some weapons grade D'aww sometimes

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008



My first girlfriend was giving me my first blowjob on our first date when she suddenly stopped and said "would you finish already?"

Sardonik
Jul 1, 2005



So I was invited to go camping by this absolutely beautiful woman who was a few years older than me who I'd been talking to at networking events for the business school at my University. We set up the camp just fine, made a nice fire. Shot the poo poo some, drank some beer. When I realized now would be a great time to inquire about sex, I froze, terrified. My mind jumped immediately to the fear that asking would ruin the trip and she'd hate me or something like that. Not wanting to be that guy I awkwardly blurted out "BOUT TIME TO HIT THE SACK, EH?" And then proceeded to not even change out of my clothes and just sleep as is, terrified.

The next day we did a little bit of hiking and then headed back. When she dropped me off at my apartment I told her I had fun and went back inside. Something in my brain broke though after I went inside and closed the door. I wound up running back to her car and told her I was "catching feels" (kill me), and that if she was interested. She said she'd "think about it" (soft no).

We hung out as friends later and saw Green Room, which she utterly hated, and we didn't talk much after that.

A few years later I had a tinder date which was pretty much the worst date possible. She just sat across from me at the restaurant in her workout clothes and stared at me without saying anything. Any casual conversation topic I bought up was too boring for her and asking questions about her was met with "you don't get to know that about me". She introduced no conversation topics at all, it was terrible. I should have just left but i figured I don't get many dates so I may as well play it out. In the end it felt like I was part of a hosed up social experiment in making one person do all the talking than a date.

She also used a fake name apparently, which is fine, you do you for security reasons, but I did see the name on her check started with A, which did put things into perspective.

I hate dating

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.


Ham Wrangler

AlbieQuirky posted:

I think he's just being a dick about open relationships/polyamory/whatever their deal is.

I didn't say having an open relationship is bad, I just think having your SO long-distance dating someone who hates you is kind of asking for trouble. I've just seen so many conventional relationships break up because someone was emotionally cheating with someone else, confiding in them about their issues with their SO, and ending up with the other person because they were "there for them."

Anyway I remembered a much worse date story but it almost doesn't count since I was in middle school at the time. But one time I had a date at the county fair with a guy I had been crushing on for a while, and I ended up getting really anxious when he seemed like he was about to kiss me and I threw up. We were sitting on a hill in the grass so I just turned my head and threw up on the grass. I actually tried to pretend it didn't happen somehow but this obviously did not work so we went to the nurses station. I blamed it on eating bad chicken.

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.


Grimey Drawer

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

I'm pretty curious how this conversation went and for how long.
I had a relationship fall apart years ago and her sister called me to passive aggressive guilt trip me for "letting the relationship deteriorate" and how much it hurt her sister or whatever. 2 minutes into this call i asked: "So you're aware that i know she's been loving her ex, right?" and hung up.

It was quite a few moons ago, but it was probably around ten minutes or less. I could tell he was feeling awkward about the call; I remember getting the impression that maybe she had talked him into making it. It wasn’t like he was angry or berating me for breaking up with her, it felt more like he was just looking out for his daughter. Once I mentioned that it was really clear that she was still hung up on her ex and how much of her conversations were about that previous relationship, he just kinda went “yeah, I can understand that being frustrating, thanks for being honest”.

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008




Lipstick Apathy

BiggerBoat posted:

drat, dude, that loving sucks.

Themata
Dec 10, 2011

If you want a pizza this pie
You can crust that
I won't cheese on you
Dance on the groove flour
And I'll give you a disco-unt


Not a date, but AUG leading up to eventual dating - when I first met my now girlfriend on OKCupid, we were across the country. Her message to me was 'hey let's be online buddies', so I took that to mean she was like everyone else I talked to on OKCupid over the years, which was to find a friend to chat with before eventually going away. On our first Skype call, she kept staring at me and when she saw I was getting self-conscious, said she thought I was really cute and she was sorry for staring. I thought she was being nice and giving me compliments. This continued to escalate in our e-mail exchanges, to the point where she asked me how comfortable I would be with 'sexual things directed at me' (as opposed to the other sexual things she had been talking about with increased frequency) and me thinking 'I'm not sure how I would feel about it from someone who isn't a random creepy dude'. She responded to this with her telling me about a sexual fantasy she had of me, to which I thought, "That's really weird she had one, cause she did say she wanted to be online buddies!" and told her I appreciated her honesty.

This caused her to finally just tell me directly we were either dating or stop talking altogether because her crush on me was wrecking her ability to focus on her studies.

Later on, I also found out she wanted to Skype me specifically because I had given her the impression I was a mentally disabled 14 year old girl and she wanted to verify I was actually who I said I was on my profile.

Danger - Octopus!
Apr 20, 2008




Nap Ghost

Sardonik posted:

but I did see the name on her check started with A, which did put things into perspective.

I'm probably missing a reference here but why does that put things into perspective?

scourgeofthe7bees
Jun 21, 2008


Once took a date to an office supply store for reasons that were never clear to either of us.

LingcodKilla
Dec 28, 2002

I ate too much crab and transformed into this.



Themata posted:


Later on, I also found out she wanted to Skype me specifically because I had given her the impression I was a mentally disabled 14 year old girl and she wanted to verify I was actually who I said I was on my profile.

Are you?

Because this is bad.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

Don't get my name wrong,
If you want to touch me there.

scourgeofthe7bees posted:

Once took a date to an office supply store for reasons that were never clear to either of us.

Aint no party like an Officeworks party!

But seriously, you should have taken them to Bunnings instead. At least then you would have gotten a sausage.

Groke
Jul 27, 2007
New Adventures In Mom Strength

sporklift posted:

I had heard about this movie called The Bridge .

Ha, I saw that with my wife, but we were already engaged by then. (Or maybe even married, I'm not entirely sure.)

fizzymercy
Aug 18, 2011




scourgeofthe7bees posted:

Once took a date to an office supply store for reasons that were never clear to either of us.

I once had a guy take me to OfficeMax to "look at all the cool stuff". After an hour of wandering around the store we went to a bar and played pool. I accidently shoved a pool cue up the guys nose so hard he sneezed blood. I was just trying to point across the bar enthusiastically and jousted his sinus instead. That's payback for making me sniff all the scented markers, Patrick.

We dated for three years.

Tubgoat
Jun 30, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 6 days!


Themata posted:

Later on, I also found out she wanted to Skype me specifically because I had given her the impression I was a mentally disabled 14 year old girl and she wanted to verify I was actually who I said I was on my profile.
Aw hell yeah, playah!

Sardonik
Jul 1, 2005



Danger - Octopus! posted:

I'm probably missing a reference here but why does that put things into perspective?

That was admittedly more of a joke, but there has been observed a strong correlation between women whose names begin with A and being pretty out there.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




Eyes Wide Shut is another bad date movie when you're still in that extremely awkward and tenuous early stage and really don't want to do anything to torpedo the relationship.

LingcodKilla
Dec 28, 2002

I ate too much crab and transformed into this.



Best dating advice I could give someone even though I haven’t been on a “date-date” in 20 years is to prescreen a movie for underage, weird or sister/brother/parent sex scenes.

Lava Lamp Goddess
Feb 19, 2007



Met a guy on a dating site. We chatted for a while and decided to grab drinks one night. He was decent looking and we had fun.

Went back to his place afterwards and I laughed my rear end off at his Shadow the Hedgehog collection.

He stopped talking to me the next day.

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

Lava Lamp Goddess posted:

Met a guy on a dating site. We chatted for a while and decided to grab drinks one night. He was decent looking and we had fun.

Went back to his place afterwards and I laughed my rear end off at his Shadow the Hedgehog collection.

He stopped talking to me the next day.

Yeah but did you sleep with him?

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Tetracube
Feb 12, 2014

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


Lava Lamp Goddess posted:

Met a guy on a dating site. We chatted for a while and decided to grab drinks one night. He was decent looking and we had fun.

Went back to his place afterwards and I laughed my rear end off at his Shadow the Hedgehog collection.

He stopped talking to me the next day.

https://kotaku.com/5888677/how-i-ac...ehog-themed-bed

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply