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Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008









Not an injury, but semi related. I have a female friend from Boston who was telling us a story about her ex boyfriend once. They had been getting bored with the physical relationship and were trying to like rekindle stuff, so she suggested they try talking dirty to start. Next time they were in bed, he tried.

"Yeah, you like that, you loving RETARD?"

She recounted this all in a very heavy Boston accent. Fucken reeetaaaahd.

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cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



girl pants posted:

There was actually a Tumblr joke post about doing exactly this but it was green instead of orange and it ended with the poster locking all the doors and lecturing their family about how damaging reinforcing the gender binary is for several hours

Yeesh, hahaha



Sandwich Anarchist posted:

Not an injury, but semi related. I have a female friend from Boston who was telling us a story about her ex boyfriend once. They had been getting bored with the physical relationship and were trying to like rekindle stuff, so she suggested they try talking dirty to start. Next time they were in bed, he tried.

"Yeah, you like that, you loving RETARD?"

She recounted this all in a very heavy Boston accent. Fucken reeetaaaahd.

I love this.

Also, some low-hanging fruit to keep things going

eating only apples
Dec 12, 2009

Shall we dance?



Elohssa Gib posted:

I don't think it's quite as exciting but some people get weirded out by the fact that I can bend the tips of my fingers without bending the other joints.


I can do this too! I can also make a perfect circle with my index and middle fingers.



The joints are only gonna get looser so finger splints probably in my future, yay! When I lock my knees it looks like I have bird legs, too. They bend so far in the wrong direction.

Heath
Apr 29, 2008



(portaxx voice) Bird knees don't bend backwards!

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009


Iron Crowned posted:

I remember hearing somewhere that something like 30% of people have been injured during sex. I did manage to break a partner's ankles once because it turns out that floors are hard

I got a broken nose a few years ago.

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN

I don't get the hate for gender reveal parties. Kids are expensive, and parents can use all the help they can get.

I'm just going to assume they are secretly jealous someone else is getting presents and not them

snoo
Jul 5, 2007






Panfilo posted:

I don't get the hate for gender reveal parties. Kids are expensive, and parents can use all the help they can get.

I'm just going to assume they are secretly jealous someone else is getting presents and not them

that's presumably what baby showers are for. forcing a stereotypical gender role onto a goddamn fetus is what's weird and gross about gender reveals imo

bony tony
Aug 9, 2013




Heath posted:

(portaxx voice) Bird knees don't bend backwards!

THANK you.

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



Baby showers are just a general, "I had a baby and if you've got a crib you don't want, please give it to me because holy gently caress are these things expensive". Gender reveal parties are, "I already have the crib, but I would like you to know that the occupant of said crib will have a vagina".



Plus, as mentioned, with these parties come some really bizarre gender-related expectations, which is so much for someone still living off an umbilical cord to fulfill. You know?

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002



Hell Gem

cash crab posted:


Plus, as mentioned, with these parties come some really bizarre gender-related expectations, which is so much for someone still living off an umbilical cord to fulfill. You know?

YEAH gently caress THOSE CISBABIES

It's harmless calm down.

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



Bum the Sad posted:

YEAH gently caress THOSE CISBABIES

It's harmless calm down.

Uh... okay.

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



I always find it weird when you calmly point something out, and someone has a complete meltdown and tells you that you need to calm down. I feel like there's a word for that.

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002



Hell Gem

cash crab posted:

I always find it weird when you calmly point something out, and someone has a complete meltdown and tells you that you need to calm down. I feel like there's a word for that.

The capslock key does not equal a meltdown it's just that crusading against stupid gender reveal parties just seems really over reaching.

Things to hate:
Police systematically murdering innocent black people, yes I'm upset
Transgender people getting beaten to death, yes I'm upset
Boring suburbanites cutting open a pink cake, you've lost me

Bum the Sad has a new favorite as of 18:31 on Jun 5, 2018

Such Fun
May 6, 2013
 

eating only apples posted:

I can do this too! I can also make a perfect circle with my index and middle fingers.

Lady, nothing in that picture, circle or finger related, is perfect.

fizzymercy
Aug 18, 2011




Bum the Sad posted:

The capslock key does not equal a meltdown it's just that crusading against stupid gender reveal parties just seems really over reaching.

Things to hate:
Police systematically murdering innocent black people, yes I'm upset
Transgender people getting beaten to death, yes I'm upset
Boring suburbanites cutting open a pink cake, you've lost me

No it isn't. They're disgusting from literally every angle, including the gender one. Check out the tutus and touchdowns poo poo. I'm a girl, I played football. I felt like poo poo for it because it made me weird. Tutus made me want to die. Gender is bullshit and you sound dumb.

You can care about literally limitless things. It's totally okay to hate lots of things and crusade against them.

girl pants
Sep 21, 2006
I feel a great disturbance in my pants

Imagine showing up to a cute party for your friend who's expecting and seeing this

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!

I'm changing my Twitter name to TOUCHDOWNS OR TUTUS bc idr how to do that on the forums and it's probably longer than fourteen characters.

fizzymercy
Aug 18, 2011




.

girl pants
Sep 21, 2006
I feel a great disturbance in my pants

And furthermore,



ahhh yes, the two genders, guns and glitter

Mr. Bad Guy
Jun 27, 2006


Now I regret changing my red text avatar of Ace Ventura doing a touchdown dance in a tutu.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



Ive never had a serious injury story from sex, but a few times during doggy style my exs head bounced off the wall. Its okay though because shes a masochist.

I also had one case during attempted car sex where the girl was trying to position herself on top and her rear end hit the steering wheel, setting off the car alarm. Because we were doing this in a deserted parking lot for a public park, we freaked out and drove away before any cop came to investigate...before she had put her clothes back on.

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002



Hell Gem

girl pants posted:

And furthermore,



ahhh yes, the two genders, guns and glitter


Kyron
Aug 6, 2013



Sandwich Anarchist posted:

Not an injury, but semi related. I have a female friend from Boston who was telling us a story about her ex boyfriend once. They had been getting bored with the physical relationship and were trying to like rekindle stuff, so she suggested they try talking dirty to start. Next time they were in bed, he tried.

"Yeah, you like that, you loving RETARD?"

She recounted this all in a very heavy Boston accent. Fucken reeetaaaahd.

My ribs hurt from laughing so hard at this

girl pants
Sep 21, 2006
I feel a great disturbance in my pants


pretty sure this is illegal in Texas

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002



Hell Gem

girl pants posted:

pretty sure this is illegal in Texas

As a Texan I support this. My wife is the girliest girl to ever girl and I wish she liked guns so I could buy this for her.

Mr. Bad Guy
Jun 27, 2006


My wife accidentally hit the tip of my dick with a riding crop once.

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002



Hell Gem

Mine won't even when I ask her.

Bum the Sad
Aug 25, 2002



Hell Gem



Further proof Texas supports Hello Kitty guns

JEEVES420
Feb 16, 2005

The world is a mess... and I just need to rule it

Panfilo posted:

I don't get the hate for gender reveal parties. Kids are expensive, and parents can use all the help they can get.

I'm just going to assume they are secretly jealous someone else is getting presents and not them

Don't have kids if you can't afford them.

I know someone who had a reveal party and then miscarried so whats that saying? Don't ask for free poo poo from your friends before it hatches.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



Bum the Sad posted:

The capslock key does not equal a meltdown it's just that crusading against stupid gender reveal parties just seems really over reaching.

Things to hate:
Police systematically murdering innocent black people, yes I'm upset
Transgender people getting beaten to death, yes I'm upset
Boring suburbanites cutting open a pink cake, you've lost me

Me saying I think something is weird doesn't qualify as crusading, but you are indeed being a little reactive right now. Reel it in, please.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Sandwich Anarchist posted:

Not an injury, but semi related. I have a female friend from Boston who was telling us a story about her ex boyfriend once. They had been getting bored with the physical relationship and were trying to like rekindle stuff, so she suggested they try talking dirty to start. Next time they were in bed, he tried.

"Yeah, you like that, you loving RETARD?"

She recounted this all in a very heavy Boston accent. Fucken reeetaaaahd.

This is my favorite thing.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Mr. Bad Guy posted:

My wife accidentally hit the tip of my dick with a riding crop once.

That wasn't an accident, bud.

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008









Cross post from the Anti food Porn thread:

CommonShore posted:

inc

A secretary at work just told this story:

Her friend this week was letting her kid - three or four years old - play out in the back yard. The kid comes in, with red smeared all over her face. Mom is alarmed, because she thinks her kid is hurt, but the kid is just toddling along as kids are wont to do. Mom ask the kid if she's ok and the kid responds "yes, I've just been eating the berries off of the dog."

The kid was eating dog blood-engorged wood ticks.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



*loud screeching*

snoo
Jul 5, 2007






NO

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



Sandwich Anarchist posted:

Cross post from the Anti food Porn thread:

Panfilo
Aug 27, 2011

EXISTENCE IS PAIN

The Snoo posted:

that's presumably what baby showers are for. forcing a stereotypical gender role onto a goddamn fetus is what's weird and gross about gender reveals imo

Nobody is forcing anything. People get curious whether a mom is having a girl or a boy. There's nothing freakish or weird about this.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




People kept asking what I was having and I said, "A baby." You can wait until it's born to find out what it's got between its legs! You can also not have a baby shower!

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



What the gently caress is it about you bunch and not being able to have anyone say the word "gender" without it loving devolving into a contest about who cares more or less?

Shut the gently caress up. I'm serious.

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snoo
Jul 5, 2007








e: whoop sorry cash crab

snoo has a new favorite as of 19:51 on Jun 5, 2018

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