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bony tony
Aug 9, 2013




I can't believe you're spoiler tagging this

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Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019








Phy posted:

A single hair. She gives him three.

You really need three to cover all of the erogenous zones. Head, armpit and buttcrack.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs of siren songs
To oohs to ahhs to big applause
With all of my anger I scream and shout
America, I love you but you're freaking me out


Biscuit Hider

Lmao remember when the one guy ate the tomato all weird?

HiroProtagonist
May 7, 2007

This is an accurate representation of my current level of enjoyment.


Zipperelli. posted:

idgi and I feel like an idiot because everyone else seems to

Overly explaining a joke but you see, RPGs and long winded nerds who like LOTR and also think cavalier pantomime is the epitome of courtship, and etc.

also gimli short, lol

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.



Do dwarves have big dicks? What about the chode situations?

im pooping!
Nov 17, 2006




best part of lotr is when gandalf says 'You cannot pass." all stoic like

RatHat
Dec 31, 2007


Phy posted:

A single hair. She gives him three.

So in this situation she would show him 3 breasts then?

Stoatbringer
Sep 15, 2004

naw, you love it
you little ho-bot


Phy posted:

Hear all ye Elves!’ she cried to those about her. ‘Let none say again that Dwarves are grasping and ungracious! Yet surely, Gimli son of Glóin, you desire something that I could give? Name it, I bid you! You shall not be the only guest without a gift.’

‘There is nothing, Lady Galadriel,’ said Gimli, bowing low and stammering. ‘Nothing, unless it might be –

sugar mouse
Oct 17, 2006



Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008









Megabound
Oct 20, 2012




At that price I can't afford not to!

sugar mouse
Oct 17, 2006



Drunk ordering cheap stuff from wish is the best.

This is my favourite purchase... (either aug or awesome, not sure)


Anil Dikshit
Apr 11, 2007


sugar mouse posted:

Drunk ordering cheap stuff from wish is the best.

This is my favourite purchase... (either aug or awesome, not sure)




I donít find it very appealing.

beanieson
Sep 25, 2008

I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av



Im picturing this little device as the rick and morty robot who gains sentience only to learn that his purpose is fixing ingrown toenails, and I canít help but feel sorry for him.

RoboRodent
Sep 19, 2012



My last drunken Wish purchase was a tactical mermaid knife.

It hasn't come yet.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


RoboRodent posted:

My last drunken Wish purchase was a tactical mermaid knife.

It hasn't come yet.

I didn't realize that mermaids were big enough of a threat that you'd need a specialized knife.

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever


Iron Crowned posted:

I didn't realize that mermaids were big enough of a threat that you'd need a specialized knife.

Its just a Disney branded fillet knife

eating only apples
Dec 12, 2009

Shall we dance?




I've used one of these (though not from Wish lol my feet might have fallen off) and yes they work and yes they're gross but no it doesn't all come off in one big dry sheet, it's just flakes of skin for a week filling your socks like you have the worst eczema ever, and then you swear blind your feet are softer because otherwise it was all for nothing

Wild T
Dec 15, 2008

The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.

My Wish order history is nothing but sex toys, BDSM gear and firearms parts. It's the most American thing ever, except made in China, which is even more American.

RoboRodent
Sep 19, 2012




I want this, but all over my body. Just peel myself out of my skin like a lizard.

Decrepus
May 21, 2008

In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.



RoboRodent posted:

I want this, but all over my body.

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010




eating only apples posted:

I've used one of these (though not from Wish lol my feet might have fallen off) and yes they work and yes they're gross but no it doesn't all come off in one big dry sheet, it's just flakes of skin for a week filling your socks like you have the worst eczema ever, and then you swear blind your feet are softer because otherwise it was all for nothing
Baby Foot is the OG brand. The others either don't work as well or don't fit my reasonably sized feet. Not even the ones from Tonymoly, which isn't even a knock-off brand.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012



College Slice


Honestly, do a half-marathon in the rain and you will get the same results

Reiche
Jan 28, 2009

I like my coffee with cream and lsd.


AlbieQuirky posted:

Honestly, do a half-marathon in the rain and you will get the same results

I also find that playing a beach volleyball tournament in 100 degree weather will achieve this. 10 hours standing in searing hot sand left me almost incapable of walking for days because of the blistering.

One More Fat Nerd
Apr 13, 2007
no neckbeard, though.



Nap Ghost

My wife has gotten several Wish ads for what i can only describe as a hoodie for your junk. Like a little cock and balls bag made out of sweatpants material, complete with a drawstring. I dont know what its really for, like theres no way to secure it so its not a chastity fetish thing, and its just a solid color so it isnt particularly decorative.

Who needs a forest green penis cozy?

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012



College Slice

A peter heater? A willy warmer? A cock sock? A woody hoodie?

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.


Fun Shoe

It's like a replacement foreskin, but on a budget.

bony tony
Aug 9, 2013




What the gently caress Wish

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.



bony tony posted:

What the gently caress Wish



Try it out you might like it

Not using the wish one tho unless you want to endanger your own nipples

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

by Fluffdaddy


bony tony posted:

What the gently caress Wish



152 kroner? Thatís outrageous, or maybe a really good price.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

High Energy, Good Feeling!




If it's Norwegian Kroner that's like 15 bucks.

Which seems like a lot for shady nipple clamps. I'm pretty sure I could run down to Home Depot and get supplies to fab up some perfectly serviceable nipple clamps forn1/10th that amount.

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001



Yeah, that's not a nipple clamp. Them's labia clamps.

T-man
Aug 22, 2010


Talk shit, get bzzzt.



My post still applies

Humphreys
Jan 26, 2013

We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule







Iron Crowned posted:

I didn't realize that mermaids were big enough of a threat that you'd need a specialized knife.

They can be if you are a baddie in a Dethklok song.

sugar mouse
Oct 17, 2006



AlbieQuirky posted:

Honestly, do a half-marathon in the rain and you will get the same results

But I don't wanna

Watermelon Daiquiri
Jul 10, 2010




Knormal posted:

Yeah, that's not a nipple clamp. Them's labia clamps.

So.. Lipple Clamps?

Stoatbringer
Sep 15, 2004

naw, you love it
you little ho-bot


Knormal posted:

Yeah, that's not a nipple clamp. Them's labia clamps.

Useful if you need to keep them safely contained while operating a lathe.

Groke
Jul 27, 2007
New Adventures In Mom Strength

Elviscat posted:

If it's Norwegian Kroner that's like 15 bucks.

The language there is Swedish, so Swedish kronor. Same order of magnitude though, we haven't gotten around to Zimbabwe-style hyperinflation yet.

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

A garden full of trees, and a pocket full of cheese.

https://www.grandandtoy.com/en/prod...ASABEgLEqfD_BwE

These make way better nippla clamps. And you can use them for office work afterwards, they come in different sizes, clamping forces etc...

Only registered members can see post attachments!

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Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof



One More Fat Nerd posted:

My wife has gotten several Wish ads for what i can only describe as a hoodie for your junk. Like a little cock and balls bag made out of sweatpants material, complete with a drawstring. I dont know what its really for, like theres no way to secure it so its not a chastity fetish thing, and its just a solid color so it isnt particularly decorative.

Who needs a forest green penis cozy?

Eldridge Cleaver, apparently

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