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Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008









im pooping! posted:

so idgi, they are polarized?

Yes

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Megabound
Oct 20, 2012




In Aus these are known as Speed Dealers.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!


I don't think they have a name in the UK, so I'd like to suggest "Twat Markers."

Grumbletron 4000
Nov 30, 2002

Where you want it, bitch.

College Slice

Death Panel Czar posted:

There was that one time Trump's evil Penn Jillette clone talked with Recoil magazine about his EDC.

I'd rip into it but the article Here’s What It Looks Like When Your EDC List Is A Cry For Help is way funnier.

I actually have that same gun. The S&W 9mm. Mine is even stupider than that one too, being a fake carbon fiber finish. I like the way it looks and it only ever comes out at the range.

I don't carry anything other than a folding knife and a keychain flashlight on me. I do however have a bag with some first aid poo poo, a firestarter, rope, tools and a change of clothes in my car. Be prepared is what my inner boyscout says.

I'm guilty of thinking some of this poo poo is cool though. Not cool enough that I'd festoon myself with tactical hatchets and weird knives and poo poo. Some of it would be neat to have camping or just to look cool at the range. I dunno. Guess I got a little of the tacticool douchery in me.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



The intended purpose of EDC is that you'll be prepared for any sudden disastrous event that might occur in your daily life. Car crashes, serious work accidents, medical emergencies, natural disasters that catch you away from home, or being at the scene of a crime.

Gorka's is so dumb because he's clearly just preparing for a gunfight. He doesn't have any tools except a knife and lighter and no medical supplies except for a combat tourniquet that he's definitely only planning on using on himself if he gets shot in the arm by a terrorist. If someone at the office fell off a ladder or a car drove up onto the sidewalk and ran a bunch of people over, his EDC is totally useless.

Philippe
Aug 9, 2013



The article went into that. He's using two different caliber guns because he thinks he's in Call of Duty.

Perestroika
Apr 8, 2010



bony tony posted:

The article went into that. He's using two different caliber guns because he thinks he's in Call of Duty.

"You see, the average terrorist has few hitpoints due to malnutrition, so all you need is a 9 mil. But every five waves you'll see a boss terrorist with extra HP, so that's when you bust out the 10 mm!"

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus





Perestroika posted:

"You see, the average terrorist has few hitpoints due to malnutrition, so all you need is a 9 mil. But every five waves you'll see a boss terrorist with extra HP, so that's when you bust out the 10 mm!"

But what do I use for the bonus waves? :ohdear:

Philippe
Aug 9, 2013



Lifehack: Crouch behind a wall and wait for the jam to leave your vision. Use [Emergency Splint] to perform First-Aid on yourself to restore 15HP!

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



bony tony posted:

The article went into that. He's using two different caliber guns because he thinks he's in Call of Duty.

The article misread the picture. He says one gun OR the other. Hes not carrying two at once.

Jeremy_X
Jul 27, 2006


Zil posted:

But what do I use for the bonus waves? :ohdear:

You strip naked as fast as you can, insert the knife into your rear end, whip around and charge the enemy. Give 'em the ol' pokey pooper. Works every time.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!


chitoryu12 posted:

The article misread the picture. He says one gun OR the other. Hes not carrying two at once.

And I've got to disagree with his "Just get a Gerber" assertion. Gerber are loving poo poo these days. Get a Swiss Army Knife. Not tacticool, but practical.

Jeremy_X posted:

You strip naked as fast as you can, insert the knife into your rear end, whip around and charge the enemy. Give 'em the ol' pokey pooper. Works every time.

:nws: 'cos it's Oglaf: https://www.oglaf.com/haft/

Sunswipe has a new favorite as of 13:54 on Jul 2, 2018

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



Sunswipe posted:

And I've got to disagree with his "Just get a Gerber" assertion. Gerber are loving poo poo these days. Get a Swiss Army Knife. Not tacticool, but practical.

I'd say a Leatherman Rebar or Wave since the blades and tools are bigger. I bought a Rebar for $50 and it almost completely replaced every non-specialized and non-power tool for virtually every task I had to do.

Not great for self-defense, but that's what a proper weapon is for.

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008









My EDC is just a 1.5 foot long piece of rebar tucked into my knee high sock

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


So, does a tactical athletic cup exist?

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008









Iron Crowned posted:

So, does a tactical athletic cup exist?

The NuttyBuddy ballistic cup.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


Sandwich Anarchist posted:

The NuttyBuddy ballistic cup.



So it'll just turn your nuts into peanut butter instead of them getting shot off.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless


There was this kid in my neighborhood who was kinda like Eric Cartman. Let's call him Eric C. Eric C. once was at my neighborhood friend's house and found an athletic cup and held it up to his face and was like "Can I put this on my face?" and nobody told Eric C. what it was until after he did it.

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus





Sponge Baathist posted:

There was this kid in my neighborhood who was kinda like Eric Cartman. Let's call him Eric C. Eric C. once was at my neighborhood friend's house and found an athletic cup and held it up to his face and was like "Can I put this on my face?" and nobody told Eric C. what it was until after he did it.

And that kid went on to become president of the United States.

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013


Remember Dude Wipes

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short



EmmyOk posted:

Remember Dude Wipes

And who can forget the Axe Detailer Shower Tool?

Heath
Apr 29, 2008



It's shaped like a buzz saw, so you know it's manly!

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short



Heath posted:

It's shaped like a buzz saw, so you know it's manly!

I was thinking it's more of a monster truck wheel. Manliness all around, either way.

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest

That bunch of zip ties that one dude had are definitely going to end up in an evidence room somewhere

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013


I bet the wind resistance on that bby is minimal

Jeremy_X
Jul 27, 2006



An axe is a pretty big step up from a pocket knife. You're going to want to train before just whapping an axe in your prison purse and flailing about.

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008









Jeremy_X posted:

prison purse

I, too, find humor in men being raped in prison.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



Sandwich Anarchist posted:

I, too, find humor in men being raped in prison.

Its a contraband joke, not a rape joke.

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008









chitoryu12 posted:

It’s a contraband joke, not a rape joke.

:negative:

Jeremy_X
Jul 27, 2006



Misunderstandings are such a pain in the rear end aren't they

Sandwich Anarchist
Sep 12, 2008









Jeremy_X posted:

Misunderstandings are such a pain in the rear end aren't they

:anime:

Jeremy_X
Jul 27, 2006



I don't understand this reply. This means I'm old doesn't it? I hope it doesn't, if it does that means age snuck up and bit me in the rear end.

Heath
Apr 29, 2008



Jeremy_X posted:

I don't understand this reply. This means I'm old doesn't it? I hope it doesn't, if it does that means age snuck up and bit me in the rear end.

It's Anime, friend.

Grumbletron 4000
Nov 30, 2002

Where you want it, bitch.

College Slice

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

I, too, find humor in men being raped in prison.

I was laughing the whole time I was being prison raped. They shoved an axe handle up my rear end and then I went full force axe murder with the axe in my rear end you smug gently caress.

twistedmentat
Nov 21, 2003

That just struck me as a big fuck you to any guy who's shorter, that it suggested that all his success is because he's tall. I guess that's not really his fault, but as I said, it just made me feel like he's a hack that has cruised to fame due to his appearance.

So, question, how many work places are okay with their employees to come into work strapped?

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



twistedmentat posted:

So, question, how many work places are okay with their employees to come into work strapped?

I couldn't think of an effective strap-on joke in relation to the "rear end murderer" thing.

It's completely dependent on your environment. Generally any gun store or rental range will have employees openly carrying handguns to discourage anyone from trying to make off with a gun or load it up while examining it. I've been given permission to bring one to work if there's a serious concern about the office's safety because we've had some extremely crazy customers go utterly ballistic and actually make physical threats, and we're far enough back in a plaza off a highway (with a full glass front that anyone with a weapon could break) that no cop would ever arrive in time if some lunatic showed up with a tire iron or something.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



I always forget about these videos until something suddenly reminds me, and then it's a scramble to remember the name.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1j35GuYWQcI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCEfu471oS8

twistedmentat
Nov 21, 2003

That just struck me as a big fuck you to any guy who's shorter, that it suggested that all his success is because he's tall. I guess that's not really his fault, but as I said, it just made me feel like he's a hack that has cruised to fame due to his appearance.

chitoryu12 posted:

I couldn't think of an effective strap-on joke in relation to the "rear end murderer" thing.

It's completely dependent on your environment. Generally any gun store or rental range will have employees openly carrying handguns to discourage anyone from trying to make off with a gun or load it up while examining it. I've been given permission to bring one to work if there's a serious concern about the office's safety because we've had some extremely crazy customers go utterly ballistic and actually make physical threats, and we're far enough back in a plaza off a highway (with a full glass front that anyone with a weapon could break) that no cop would ever arrive in time if some lunatic showed up with a tire iron or something.

I was just wondering if these EC guys are like office workers, or mechanics, or salesmen or whatever. I think if I worked in an office and Trey is always walking around with his Sig 229 on his hip I'd have a talk with HR.

Untrustable
Mar 16, 2009







Office workers and computer janitors with an EDC are ridiculous to me. I have a job where it wouldn't be out of place for me to carry but I just don't. If I get shot then whatever.

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chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



twistedmentat posted:

I was just wondering if these EC guys are like office workers, or mechanics, or salesmen or whatever. I think if I worked in an office and Trey is always walking around with his Sig 229 on his hip I'd have a talk with HR.

I think the infamous EDC Nerd picture was a janitor or IT guy at NASA. A lot of them are just regular office workers; I'd probably argue that most of them are office workers because that's really the only job where you can carry a bunch of poo poo in your pockets without worrying about anything falling out, getting dirty, or injuring you if you fall on it (one of the reasons you may not want to carry a gun at the back of your hip is so you don't bruise your spine if you fall backwards).

The two most useful items if you want absolutely minimal EDC are probably a Leatherman or similar solid multitool and the best pocket first aid kit you can carry. I've had plenty of days where I've needed a tool in the office for stuff like assembling and disassembling furniture or electronics, and if someone gets seriously injured the best knowledge and equipment you can have is probably for controlling bleeding.

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