awful programming: post .net clarity strikes again

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > awful programming: post .net clarity strikes again

«‹›1159 »

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

fritz posted:

i write c, and while i can assure you that yes its nearly as bad as my posts, i dont ever want to touch the javascript again

at least c is pretty clear on the types and where you put them

# ? Jan 12, 2019 20:33

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Oct 4, 2024 05:57

Beamed: Nov 26, 2010; Then you have a responsibility that no man has ever faced. You have your fear which could become reality, and you have Godzilla, which is reality.

Plorkyeran posted:

did you completely miss that 10 year period where everyone loved dynamic typing and thought that static types were just a legacy thing that used to be required for good performance?

probably, i didn't program until 2011

# ? Jan 12, 2019 21:04

AWWNAW: Dec 30, 2008

it�s huge fun writing dynamically typed programs and it fuckin sucks to maintain them

# ? Jan 12, 2019 21:05

Blinkz0rz: May 27, 2001; MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS

AWWNAW posted:

it�s huge fun writing dynamically typed programs and it fuckin sucks to maintain them

# ? Jan 12, 2019 21:09

Deep Dish Fuckfest: Sep 6, 2006; Advanced
Computer Touching; Toilet Rascal

it absolutely isn't fun to write them. i like my errors same as my coffee: at compile time

# ? Jan 12, 2019 21:14

Blinkz0rz: May 27, 2001; MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS

i'm the NullPointerException at runtime

# ? Jan 12, 2019 21:20

AWWNAW: Dec 30, 2008

Blinkz0rz posted:

i'm the NullPointerException at runtime

whose stack trace has been elided as a performance optimization

# ? Jan 12, 2019 22:06

Blinkz0rz: May 27, 2001; MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS

AWWNAW posted:

whose stack trace has been elided as a performance optimization

pretend i posted a stack trace entirely comprised of files in spring boot

# ? Jan 12, 2019 22:11

brand engager: Mar 23, 2011

https://twitter.com/ryanqnorth/status/1083814625035067392

# ? Jan 12, 2019 22:20

mystes: May 31, 2006

AWWNAW posted:

it�s huge fun writing dynamically typed programs until you try to run them

# ? Jan 12, 2019 22:38

echinopsis: Apr 13, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

if I wanted to generate an 8 diget alphanumeric hash to name a url are there any tricks I need to know

# ? Jan 12, 2019 22:58

CPColin: Sep 9, 2003; Big ol' smile.

Make sure it spells naughty words often

# ? Jan 12, 2019 23:13

FormatAmerica: Jun 3, 2005; Grimey Drawer

ComradeCosmobot posted:

Do you prefer substr or substring?

code:

Warning: Although String.prototype.substr(�) is not strictly deprecated (as in "removed from the Web standards"), it is considered a legacy function and should be avoided when possible. It is not part of the core JavaScript language and may be removed in the future. If at all possible, use the substring() method instead.

Just

MDN + [javascript thinghy] and learn how to use the language correctly for modern standards.

# ? Jan 12, 2019 23:14

redleader: Aug 18, 2005; Engage according to operational parameters

Blinkz0rz posted:

if you get into a place where you have questions about your types you're probably writing bad code anyway

Blinkz0rz posted:

the terrible programmers are coming from inside the thread

# ? Jan 13, 2019 01:16

my homie dhall: Dec 9, 2010; honey, oh please, it's just a machine

Blinkz0rz posted:

pretend i posted a stack trace entirely comprised of files in spring boot

i�ve got a full stack trace of my code and lemme tell ya, I�m mad as hell about it

# ? Jan 13, 2019 01:17

Deep Dish Fuckfest: Sep 6, 2006; Advanced
Computer Touching; Toilet Rascal

Blinkz0rz posted:

i'm the NullPointerException at runtime

loving christ i wish i could get something as well-defined as a NullPointerException in dynamically typed languages

# ? Jan 13, 2019 01:19

DaTroof: Nov 16, 2000; CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

Deep Dish Fuckfest posted:

loving christ i wish i could get something as well-defined as a NullPointerException in dynamically typed languages

the error always means your object's interface doesn't match what the receiver expected. just like statically typed languages. the only difference, with dynamic typing, you don't know it's a problem until runtime, and for some reason it's still supposed to be your fault

# ? Jan 13, 2019 01:36

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

Sapozhnik posted:

death pyramid callback hell

mods

# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:12

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

a ton of smart people have worked hard to make javascript usable in a browser. it�s much better than it used to be and it�s amazing what�s been accomplished.

but there are exactly 0 reasons to execute javascript outside your browser, there are so many better options. the only javascript you should execute outside your browser is your flavor of webpack, and even that should have been written in a good language.

# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:17

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

florida lan posted:

staring at modern webapps (including ours) saddens me.

i have fond memories of a time long long ago when i was briefly employed as a web dev, and in absence of any actual education or training from my employer on how to do web dev, watching some nice video made by google engineers about how html provided the content, css provided formatting, and javascript provided dynamic modifications of the other two based on user action. it was such a beautiful separation of concerns.

now html is a stub document with a bunch of script tags and a splash logo to display while said scripts construct a document with actual content and styling using some nonsense involving 14 layers of functions with single-character names.

i have become angry outdated old so much sooner than i thought.

no, they were right and you�re right, and this way of making web pages and calling them �apps� is wrong

web pages are for displaying information; putting the information to display someplace other than the HTML and putting any styling someplace other than the CSS is Doing It Wrong

# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:29

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

Sapozhnik posted:

Yes it turns out that a document typesetting system makes a poor user interface toolkit

sapozhnik is right

Shaggar posted:

lol no. javascript is a horrible, horrible language and all the tooling in the world cant fix it. also all the tooling is terrible

shaggar is right

# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:31

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

Shaggar posted:

it should be compared to c# and java which are much better languages and were an option at the time javascript really started to become a problem.

scheme was also an option, seriously considered

if only jwz had done the scripting instead of eich; jwz could actually look at and integrate scheme48, but eich threw up his hands at figuring out how to integrate anything and wrote his own babbys first C-like with lex & yacc instead

# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:35

aardvaard: Mar 4, 2013; you belong in the bog of eternal stench

someone linked an article about blockchain card games and i wanted to hate read it but i couldn't because the news site was an SPA and it didn't work

# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:36

DONT THREAD ON ME: Oct 1, 2002; by Nyc_Tattoo; Floss Finder

eschaton posted:

no, they were right and you�re right, and this way of making web pages and calling them �apps� is wrong

actually it�s good because it means I, a backend developer, never need to touch javascript.

for every other reason it is bad.

# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:42

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

dont worry guys webasm will save us

# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:46

AWWNAW: Dec 30, 2008

eschaton posted:

scheme was also an option, seriously considered

if only jwz had done the scripting instead of eich; jwz could actually look at and integrate scheme48, but eich threw up his hands at figuring out how to integrate anything and wrote his own babbys first C-like with lex & yacc instead

what could�ve been

# ? Jan 13, 2019 02:53

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009; Can't post for 39 hours!

Ex coworker hit me up on hangouts yesterday. The marketing director was put in charge of engineering.
When that happened, he quit so hard he didn�t just quit, he quit, packed his bags, and moved to Seattle with his wife without even telling anybody he quit. He doesn�t even have a job yet in Seattle. :allears:

This leaves the Ex company without any programmers and nobody to pass documentation on to. I expect the company to not last more than a year.

I got him an interview with my current company.

FlapYoJacks fucked around with this message at 03:17 on Jan 13, 2019

# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:13

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

AWWNAW posted:

what could�ve been

people often react to my �we could�ve had scheme� with �but then client side scripting never would have taken off!�

as if that�s some sort of downside

# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:13

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

ratbert90 posted:

Ex coworker hit me up on hangouts yesterday. The marketing director was put in charge of engineering.
When that happened, he quit so hard he didn�t just quit, he quit, packed his bags, and moved to Seattle with his wife without even telling anybody he quit. He doesn�t even have a job yet in Seattle.

This leaves the Ex company without any programmers and nobody to pass documentation on to. I expect the company to not last more than a year.

I got him an interview with my current company.

more like a month, unless the company is selling something other than the work you and the other engineers were doing

how big was this company?

# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:40

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

also after his company folds, contact the CEO with openings you have available

# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:43

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

ratbert90 posted:

Ex coworker hit me up on hangouts yesterday. The marketing director was put in charge of engineering.
When that happened, he quit so hard he didn�t just quit, he quit, packed his bags, and moved to Seattle with his wife without even telling anybody he quit. He doesn�t even have a job yet in Seattle.

This leaves the Ex company without any programmers and nobody to pass documentation on to. I expect the company to not last more than a year.

I got him an interview with my current company.

purest schadenfreude on earth. the ghawar and safaniya of schadenfreude

# ? Jan 13, 2019 03:44

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009; Can't post for 39 hours!

ThePeavstenator posted:

more like a month, unless the company is selling something other than the work you and the other engineers were doing

how big was this company?

35 employees. They can keep using the third party engineering company, but it will cost them poo poo loads of money and they can drop them whenever.

# ? Jan 13, 2019 04:56

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009; Can't post for 39 hours!

ThePeavstenator posted:

also after his company folds, contact the CEO with openings you have available

He is antisemitic and is genuinely crazy.

# ? Jan 13, 2019 04:56

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

eschaton posted:

people often react to my �we could�ve had scheme� with �but then client side scripting never would have taken off!�

as if that�s some sort of downside

another plausible outcome would have been: client side scripting takes off, but in vbscript

perhaps we should count our blessings

# ? Jan 13, 2019 12:21

Blinkz0rz: May 27, 2001; MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS

Soricidus posted:

another plausible outcome would have been: client side scripting takes off, but in vbscript

perhaps we should count our blessings

this would have been the outcome if microsoft had had its way

# ? Jan 13, 2019 15:24

Symbolic Butt: Mar 22, 2009; (_!_); Buglord

ratbert90 posted:

He is antisemitic and is genuinely crazy.

yikes

# ? Jan 13, 2019 16:25

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009; Can't post for 39 hours!

Symbolic Butt posted:

yikes

Yeah, in western Michigan, old Dutch people tend to hate Jews for some reason. He also rants about the banks and how the Jews won't give the business more credit.

# ? Jan 13, 2019 16:56

Arcsech: Aug 5, 2008

ratbert90 posted:

Ex coworker hit me up on hangouts yesterday. The marketing director was put in charge of engineering.
When that happened, he quit so hard he didn�t just quit, he quit, packed his bags, and moved to Seattle with his wife without even telling anybody he quit. He doesn�t even have a job yet in Seattle.

This leaves the Ex company without any programmers and nobody to pass documentation on to. I expect the company to not last more than a year.

I got him an interview with my current company.

you�re living the dream

# ? Jan 13, 2019 17:11

Shaggar: Apr 26, 2006

Soricidus posted:

another plausible outcome would have been: client side scripting takes off, but in vbscript

perhaps we should count our blessings

vbscript is unironically better than javascript

# ? Jan 13, 2019 17:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Oct 4, 2024 05:57

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

Shaggar posted:

vbscript is unironically better than javascript

"should we implement all visual basic's error handling modes?"
"nah, the ones that branch to an error handling subroutine like try/catch in other languages are too complicated, just give them on error resume next. i'm sure everyone will definitely check the err object at appropriate times instead of just taking it as carte blanche to ignore everything and hope for the best"
-- the meeting where microsoft put as much effort into designing vbscript as netscape put into designing javascript

# ? Jan 13, 2019 17:48

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > awful programming: post .net clarity strikes again

«‹›1159 »