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bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
another one in the "query builders are superior" pile i guess

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Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


just use stored procedures like god intended

Convoolio
Oct 31, 2005

the less features your rdbms has, the less galaxy brained things people will try to do on the data layer

Wheany
Mar 17, 2006

Spinyahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Doctor Rope

bob dobbs is dead posted:

another one in the "query builders are superior" pile i guess

yes, i use a query builder:

"SELECT * FROM users WHERE username=" . $_REQUEST["username"] ." AND password='" . $_REQUEST["password"] ."'"

Shaggar
Apr 26, 2006

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

just use stored procedures like god intended

ynohtna
Feb 16, 2007

backwoods compatible
Illegal Hen

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

just use stored procedures like god intended

but never tell your colleagues which few of the thousands of ever-changing procedures stored are the correct ones to use, like satan intended.

shoeberto
Jun 13, 2020

which way to the MACHINES?

Wheany posted:

yes, i use a query builder:

"SELECT * FROM users WHERE username=" . $_REQUEST["username"] ." AND password='" . $_REQUEST["password"] ."'"

This is so loving stupid. I don't even know where to begin.
- There is no need to use the string concat operator for this, just embed it straight in the string.
- It is really insecure to have users send creds over the network like this. Someoke could mitm it and then the user is hosed. You should be having the client side handle auth checks in the browser.
- Why even do string concat for SQL generation? You really want that overhead on EVERY CALL? Just have the client construct the query and send it back, and pg_query that poo poo. You don't get paid by the CPU cycle my dude.

CPColin
Sep 9, 2003

Big ol' smile.
What else? :allears:

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


CPColin posted:

What else? :allears:

I would have started with the obvious SQL injection but I suppose string concats will make other people madder.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
i thought we were doin the ol fuckin around thing where we make outrageous comments about the nittiest small things and avoid mentioning the injection

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


I'm new here I'm sorry

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



just put the db in the client imo

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
https://pouchdb.com

CPColin
Sep 9, 2003

Big ol' smile.

Carthag Tuek posted:

just put the db in the coconut imo

MrMoo
Sep 14, 2000


Pouch is impressive on that it never reconnects on failure

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



lmao wtf

pls tell me it's silent

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


MrMoo posted:

Pouch is impressive on that it never reconnects on failure

just like my dad :negative:

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


Carthag Tuek posted:

lol, lmao

on the plus side that's gonna be a huge negative loc pr which owns bones

501 changed files, 700 additions, 93500 deletions :eyepop:

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER


Powerful Two-Hander posted:

501 changed files, 700 additions, 93500 deletions :eyepop:

smashes merge at speed of sound

Chalks
Sep 30, 2009

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

501 changed files, 700 additions, 93500 deletions :eyepop:

what % of the codebase is this? it's beautiful

Workaday Wizard
Oct 23, 2009

by Pragmatica

champagne posting posted:

smashes merge at speed of sound

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Powerful Two-Hander posted:

501 changed files, 700 additions, 93500 deletions :eyepop:

:swoon:

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.


Chalks posted:

what % of the codebase is this? it's beautiful

not as much as it looks on the face of it because a lot of those files were aspx page + 2 backer files that weren't referenced in the solution but had been left in the repo by the idiot that did it.

even without that and just the included but unreferenced classes it's probably a lot though. It was incredibly verbose code, with almost no comments at all.

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

501 changed files, 700 additions, 93500 deletions :eyepop:

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004


Powerful Two-Hander posted:

501 changed files, 700 additions, 93500 deletions :eyepop:
you love to see it

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009

by vyelkin

(and can't post for 9 days!)

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

501 changed files, 700 additions, 93500 deletions :eyepop:

amazing.

NihilCredo
Jun 6, 2011

iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

MrMoo posted:

Pouch is impressive on that it never reconnects on failure

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

just like my dad :negative:

:vince:

MrMoo
Sep 14, 2000

I’m starting to find web-architects are becoming more obnoxious than simply incompetent webdevs, maybe just being lucky and avoiding them so far.

From typing too many words for doing nothing:

http://highscalability.com/blog/2021/8/2/evolution-of-search-engines-architecture-algolia-new-search.html

To this, superstar of tech journalism,

https://world.hey.com/joaoqalves/disasters-i-ve-seen-in-a-microservices-world-a9137a51

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



this one is funny because it goes through loads and loads of problems caused by chasing an architecture based on it being hip rather than practical, but instead of providing and alternative s or solutions just goes 'guess we better just keep trying lol!:

the statement of "if you use a single database you introduce problems like accidentally dropping an index or being unable to determine what is touching a table" is not some incredible problem you can't solve, it's a problem you created yourself by being an idiot and doing a classic webdev "a database is a mysterious filing cabinet key value store we have no ability to influence".

so of course the solution is some bullshit involving various aws services

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009

by vyelkin

(and can't post for 9 days!)

Today a ticket was opened because automatically was spelled with one l :allears:

Soricidus
Oct 20, 2010
freedom-hating statist shill

DoomTrainPhD posted:

Today a ticket was opened because automatically was spelled with one l :allears:

*sucks teeth* gonna have to think about the best way to tackle this one, might need to break it down over a couple of sprints

Chalks
Sep 30, 2009

a clear example of a 1 point task

CPColin
Sep 9, 2003

Big ol' smile.
I feel like I had one of those once and said it should be zero points and when the PM said that wasn't allowed I said I could have fixed it already in just the time we'd been talking about it.

I was not a team player.

Edit: I should have had a laptop and fixed it while I was talking.

GNU Order
Feb 28, 2011

That's a paddlin'

There's no such thing as a 1 point task either

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER


there’s no point in a task either

FlapYoJacks
Feb 12, 2009

by vyelkin

(and can't post for 9 days!)

1 point task? Are you kidding me?!

First we have to create a ticket, but before that we need to define the parameters of said ticket.

How do we prevent this from happening in the future?
We need to add automatic spell checking to the CI/CD process.
What dictionary do we use? Oxford or Webster?
How do we define user-facing text in an automated fashion?
We need to set up a few meetings to ensure we are all on the same page about this.

8 points at a minimum.


(it’s already been fixed.)

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER


my current client doesn’t use tasks in jira and only sparingly uses GitHub issues to track broad topics with the day to day up to whomever is working on it

it’s pretty great. stand ups are about actual problems or just small talk instead of a death march through the board

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER


DoomTrainPhD posted:

(it’s already been fixed.)

the dev who fixed it without making either a fuzz or a story will be given a talking to and strict orders to not do it again

it’s me, I’m that dev.

Destroyenator
Dec 27, 2004

Don't ask me lady, I live in beer
can’t check in a code change without an associated ticket number and only the business side can raise tickets and prioritise them for the sprint so they know what they’re spending their money on

everyone will just have to deal with the typo until ~Q2 2022 at current velocity

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DaTroof
Nov 16, 2000

CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

this one is funny because it goes through loads and loads of problems caused by chasing an architecture based on it being hip rather than practical, but instead of providing and alternative s or solutions just goes 'guess we better just keep trying lol!:

the statement of "if you use a single database you introduce problems like accidentally dropping an index or being unable to determine what is touching a table" is not some incredible problem you can't solve, it's a problem you created yourself by being an idiot and doing a classic webdev "a database is a mysterious filing cabinet key value store we have no ability to influence".

so of course the solution is some bullshit involving various aws services

reminds me of a coworker who constantly pushed for nosql in new projects (usually parse server) because he was completely incapable of imagining how to use an rdbms without implementing an eav anti-pattern

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