|# ? Nov 3, 2018 02:17|
|# ? Feb 2, 2023 13:42|
COMMUNICATION BEGINS 0810 05/11/2038
HIGH VALUE TARGET LOCATED
INFILTRATION AND CAPTURE MISSION
TIER 1 ASSET AVAILABLE
DEPLOY SQUAD IMMEDIATELY
PRIORITY ONE = BRING HOME ASSET
ALL OTHER PRIORITIES RESCINDED
XCOM received this message from the highest levels. The word is that the Council Spokesman sent this one down himself.
A team of fearless badasses was assembled and given strict instruction.
They murdered all in their path, including a Sectopod, kicked the door open, grabbed the package and got out.
Are you a bad enough dude to rescue Lando Howlrissian? Yes. Yes, we are.
|# ? Nov 4, 2018 19:16|
You have the thanks of a grateful nation and one very good boy!
|# ? Nov 4, 2018 20:41|
I'm proud to have been a part of the mission to save that good boy
|# ? Nov 4, 2018 23:09|
You were the one that unlocked the door. God bless.
|# ? Nov 4, 2018 23:34|
|# ? Nov 5, 2018 00:12|
|# ? Nov 5, 2018 01:37|
With the Bark Knight back on deck, the decision was handed down to hit another one of the ADVENT facilities.
The Bark Knight of course jumped at the chance to assault the base, and a team was assembled behind his leadership.
Not long after arrival, this fine gentleman showed up, prompting a howl of rage from Lando.
Lando led a furious assault on him, opening with a stick to the face:
Lining up for a vicious volley of shots:
And taking him down. In one of those neat gameplay-lore tie ins, Lando finished him with the Banish skill. Which as you may know, has your soldier keep firing until their ammo is depleted or the target is dead. Seems pretty appropriate for a good boy who got taken away by the bad man. Bad man indeed.
Also, congratulations to Mare. He's actually been the first to every new rank in the game so far, so all of the golden nooses belong to him. All loving nobles must loving hang, pal.
|# ? Nov 5, 2018 01:44|
lol look at the punk predator wanna be white your teeth god drat
|# ? Nov 5, 2018 02:15|
Field report filed by L. Howlrissian
BAD MAN TOOK ME
FRIENDS SAVED ME
HELP FRIENDS CHASE BAD MAN
ATTACK BAD MAN
BAD MAN DIE
Report filed by Col. Four "The" Mare on Operation Ghost Hawk
November 5, 2038, 1837 hrs.
Operation Ghost Hawk was set up for the final assault on the Chosen Warlock's headquarters. We were unsure what we would find, so a special squad was organised, the Devastating Offensive Guys, or DOGs for short.
In attendance were Little "Judgment" Max, King "T-Bone" Louis, Big "Montster" Monty, Yoko "Yellow Ball" Pupper, Lando "Bark Knight" Howlrissian, and myself, in the squad leader role.
Expecting a tough fight, extra medkits were made available to all soldiers.
Entry was made into the outer fortress. Resistance was determined, but the DOGs are the best of the best. Several injuries were taken on the assault, and the DOGs paused to regroup. Bionic Ocular Nanomedikit Equipment (BONEs) were handed out to all DOGs to be sure they were ready to fight, and their 'teeth sharp', so to speak.
Once all BONEs were gone, the squad made entry into the inner sanctum. Resistance was only nominal with a couple of unprepared guards, but then the real battle began.
The DOGs took up positions surrounding a strange structure, and the Warlock made his entrance.
He attempted to distract our good boys with a Brain Aneurysm Lenticular Laser (BALL)
But if he had paid any attention to the callsigns of our DOGs, he would have known only yellow balls will work.
The fight was brutal, but short, and our good DOGs fought like dogs, refusing to give any ground whatsoever, and raining down blow after blow upon first the Warlock, then his sarcophagus, then him again.
Lando took the forefront of the battle, ignoring cover to continue firing upon the Warlock.
He has never spoken about what he endured during his capture, but from the fury and total disregard for his own safety, it can't have been good.
The end for the Warlock came when Lando emptied his clip into him, baying like a hound of hell.
XCOM had sworn vengeance for Lando's capture, but when the time came, none could stop Lando from extracting his own personal vengeance.
It is true. DOGs are everywhere, and they are all very, very good boys.
The Warlock was turned to stone as the life left his body. And that, as they say, was that.
The DOG squad returned to the Avenger, to lick their wounds and toast the destruction of one of the Chosen.
Good boys one and all.
This soldier recommends an award of Tremendous Reinforcement of Excellent Activity Today (TREAT) to Lando in particular, but all good DOGs.
|# ? Nov 5, 2018 05:58|
In news surprising precisely no one (except maybe in how long it took to happen, McNally just got McNally'd.
I think we must be due a big update.
So because I wanted Lando to get his revenge on the Warlock first, I didn't stop the Assassin from attacking the Avenger. As a result, of a total platoon of 22, only 5 are currently combat ready, and only two of those aren't exhausted.
Things, shall we say, could be better.
So the Assassin launched her/his/its attack on the Avenger, everyone deployed to fight, everyone got injured and has to deal with the VA, except this guy.
He's laughing at you all from Valhalla. Dead veterans don't need benefits, etc.
HEROES FOR ALL TIME
Rk. Barc Lee - cut down by the Chosen Assassin and lack of funds for healthcare. Dead veterans don't need benefits, indeed.
Rk. Ariana Moletta - gunned down by an ADVENT soldier on the first mission. Lacked heart.
Cpl. Beatrix Potter - was panicked by a Sectoid and gunned down while running to the EVAC point.
Cpl. Two Finger - killed by an improbable crit while in a superior firing position with full cover.
Cpt. Michael "Teflon" Flynn. Unfortunately, he wasn't as non-stick as he thought.
Sq. El Maligno. Died as he lived, very anime-sexually.
Asp. SMDFTB 420-69. Cut down by a hail of gunfire during a mission which went very, very wrong.
Lt. Firstname "Fingerguns" McNally. Got McNally'd, to no one's great surprise.
Sgt. B-Rock "Islamic" Shock. Gunned down by a turret on his first mission. One mission, one kill, one death.
Cpt. Victor "Vicky" Vermis. Murdered by an Archon during a very sideways base destruction mission.
For a laugh, I'm going to include their current statuses, just to show you how thin on the ground my forces are right now. Commander difficulty is noticeably harder than Normal
Four "The" Mare - Specialist - Wounded, 7 days
King "T-Bone" Louis - Grenadier - Wounded, 5 days
Little "Judgment" Max - Specialist - Wounded, 1 day
Jelly "Joy" Bean - Sharpshooter - Tired, 1 day
Der "Gator" Ratte - Ranger - Wounded, 3 days
TF "A" Bitch - Ranger - Wounded, 9 days
Lando "Bark Knight" Howlrissian - Reaper - Wounded, 6 days
Terrible "VOLVO SORRY" Robot - Templar - Wounded, 3 days
Declan "Steezo" Ryan - Sharpshooter - Wounded, 2 days
Robert "Three Stick" Mueller - Skirmisher - Wounded, 8 days
"Enginah" - Ranger - Covert Action, 5 days
Yoko "Yellow Ball" Pupper - Sharpshooter - Wounded, 10 days
Karl "Red Scare" Marx - Specialist - Wounded, 8 days
Dick "Tiny" Hurtz - Grenadier - Wounded, 6 days
Flikken "Seabreeze" Sadness - Grenadier - Wounded, 5 days
Big "Montster" Monty - Specialist - Tired, 7 days
Redneck "Vandal" Nazgul - Ranger - Wounded, 10 days
Wood "Woody" Chip - Grenadier - Wounded, 13 days
M Gargantua - Sharpshooter - Covert Action, 5 days
Vincent Van Goatse - Specialist
NFN Madurai - Sharpshooter
Acolyte Gertrud Braun - Training, 6 days
So you see, one more serious hit, and XCOM is pretty much done for. Yikes.
|# ? Nov 5, 2018 09:25|
That is a lot of wounded. The med bay must be covered in dick art by now...
|# ? Nov 5, 2018 14:30|
That is a lot of wounded. The med bay must be covered in
|# ? Nov 5, 2018 15:43|
After a long period of idleness, XCOM stood up a squad to take down the Chosen Assassin.
The team was named the Gloriously Overreactive Outstandingly Dangerous Devastating Offensive Guys.
This was an evolution of the previous Devastating Offensive Guys.
The GOOD DOGs assembled, and now please refer to the report filed by Col. "Judgment" Max
BAD SMELL. CHASE BAD SMELL.
BAD PEOPLE. KILL BAD PEOPLE.
FIND NEW PLACE. WORSE SMELL.
THE WORST PERSON.
FRIEND MONTY THREW SPLODY BALL
DOGS RULE, BAD PEOPLE DROOL
|# ? Nov 24, 2018 18:54|
This thread really went downhill after Vicki ate poo poo.
Bring back Bicki
BRIANG BACK VICKI
|# ? Nov 25, 2018 01:13|
|# ? Feb 2, 2023 13:42|
Thatís nice and all but did you find the YELLOW BALL?????
|# ? Nov 25, 2018 02:00|