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Goddamn Particle
Oct 10, 2013



Fan of Britches

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

So... Which dude was the egg?

More importantly, who came first?

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Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.


Ham Wrangler


"Fruits and vegetables do quite the opposite"
So fruits and vegetables give you boners? I mean I have gotten a weird vibe from most vegans but I didn't know they had constant boners, this explains so much

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



viagrables

Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007



Soiled Meat

Again with the food product / food grade product confusion.

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

"You are the best poster... do not let anyone say otherwise."


Dixville posted:

"Fruits and vegetables do quite the opposite"
So fruits and vegetables give you boners? I mean I have gotten a weird vibe from most vegans but I didn't know they had constant boners, this explains so much

The fruit/vegetables are the boners that you can stick up your butt/snatch, e.g. cucumber, banana, eggplant.

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Instead of Viagra, just stick a whittled down carrot in your urethra to maintain that boner

That's your one free lifehack of the day

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless


Picnic Princess posted:

Instead of Viagra, just stick a whittled down carrot in your urethra to maintain that boner

That's your one free lifehack of the day

Wasn't there a Chuck Palahniuk short story where a guy did something like that?

Croatoan
Jun 24, 2005

I am inevitable.
ROBBLE GROBBLE


Wheat Loaf posted:

Wasn't there a Chuck Palahniuk short story where a guy did something like that?

It bothers me that there are multiple Chuck Palahniuk books that this may be.

bike tory
May 6, 2007



https://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-




Pillbug

Dixville posted:

"Fruits and vegetables do quite the opposite"
So fruits and vegetables give you boners? I mean I have gotten a weird vibe from most vegans but I didn't know they had constant boners, this explains so much

I was going to say "you can't put a chicken in your rear end like you can a cucumber" but then I remembered I was talking about people.

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.


Ham Wrangler

ToxicSlurpee posted:

I was going to say "you can't put a chicken in your rear end like you can a cucumber" but then I remembered I was talking about people.

I havent heard that aphorism before

SneezeOfTheDecade
Feb 6, 2011

2:35 PM, 5 April 2017. 153 decibels. Caused the cat actual harm.




ToxicSlurpee posted:

I was going to say "you can't put a chicken in your rear end like you can a cucumber" but then I remembered I was talking about people.

Linked just in case.

Lizard Combatant
Sep 29, 2010



Dixville posted:

I havent heard that aphorism before

Unfortunate, but it's not too late to stop!

Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007



Soiled Meat

I know an old lady who butt chugged a cow.

I don't know how she butt chugged a cow.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011


Karate Bastard posted:

I know an old lady who butt chugged a cow.

I don't know how she butt chugged a cow.
She probably used her rear end hole

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Clapping Larry

Karate Bastard posted:

I know an old lady who butt chugged a cow.

I don't know how she butt chugged a cow.

She's dead as gently caress now

Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007



Soiled Meat

Well, yeah.

That came later though.

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless



Yes, that's the one.

(Blegh.)

bike tory
May 6, 2007





Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007



Soiled Meat


Is he stuck or something?

bike tory
May 6, 2007



Karate Bastard posted:

Is he stuck or something?

Either way he's holding a prick.

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011

Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Proudly supporting the Lowtax Spine Fund 2018-19


Karate Bastard posted:

Is he stuck or something?

Unless you think people come with cartoon rain clouds, you might notice that the guy in the red jacket has his arm around the other man and the clouds are there to cover up the hand which makes it obvious.

Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007



Soiled Meat

Come on dude he obviously got his expensive watch all tangled up in that other guy's zipper.

Craptacular
Jul 11, 2004



Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Jedit posted:

Unless you think people come with cartoon rain clouds, you might notice that the guy in the red jacket has his arm around the other man and the clouds are there to cover up the hand which makes it obvious.

ahh so youre the one who keeps putting clouds on my loin

bike tory
May 6, 2007




poo poo you can get that at ice cream shops now? I've been going to the wrong part of town.

Knee
Jul 19, 2006

I'm telling you, it's true. People grow from spores.


Careful with the Butt.finger Blast, without preparation you might wind up with an unexpected Rocky Road.

Edit: rocky road fudge surprise? or is that too.. on the nose.

Lizard Combatant
Sep 29, 2010



Saw this card today, did a double take

Lizard Combatant has a new favorite as of 02:29 on Dec 15, 2018

Knee
Jul 19, 2006

I'm telling you, it's true. People grow from spores.


Lizard Combatant posted:

Saw this card today, did a double take



timg tag might help.. that's fuckin HUGE.

Lizard Combatant
Sep 29, 2010



Knee posted:

timg tag might help.. that's fuckin HUGE.

Thanks! Thought I did

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Lizard Combatant posted:

Saw this card today, did a double take



aa not sure what drinking can do but im willing to try

Knee
Jul 19, 2006

I'm telling you, it's true. People grow from spores.


Krankenstyle posted:

aa not sure what drinking can do but im willing to try

After a spectacular crash, seeing where that steering wheel column will end up.. you're gonna need a drink.

Lizard Combatant
Sep 29, 2010



alarm.jpg

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Knee posted:

After a spectacular crash, seeing where that steering wheel column will end up.. you're gonna need a drink.

it goes directly into his sternum dude.. 3d!

im gonna drink anyway, ugh

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die






I swear the geology page I follow posts a new mineral dick each day

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.


Ham Wrangler

Picnic Princess posted:



I swear the geology page I follow posts a new mineral dick each day

That there's a Yeti penis and you won't convince me otherwise

Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007



Soiled Meat


Parahexavoctal
Oct 10, 2004
I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS.

Knee posted:

After a spectacular crash, seeing where that steering wheel column will end up.. you're gonna need a drink.

is he planning to be a pirate?

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Clapping Larry



Thumbnailed for effect.

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Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007



Soiled Meat

I see they found your mom's hooha

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