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Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005


ok now it's closed

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steeltoedsneakers
Jul 26, 2016







steeltoedsneakers posted:

This is a proxy
SurreptitiousMuffin's IN
steeltoedsneaks is not


Oh Goddamnit.

Fight me, Muffin.

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005


She's getting ready to devour your worthless trash. If she throws up on the carpet, I'm blaming all of you.

Flesnolk
Apr 11, 2012

h

Post more cat

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk







Flesnolk posted:

Interprompt: Post more cat (200 words)

Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017


Horse Facts

True and Interesting Facts about Horse




Conversations With My Cat

"Meow meow."

"Meow?"

"Meow."

"Mrrp-meow!"

"Puss puss puss puss!"

"Meeeeeow!"

Nom nom nom

Purr purr purr

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


a story wrote bi catte

hello 1 day a food giant NO COME

me find food giant in bed.

she sleep so much

i take bite

i not need her wake up anymore

Anomalous Amalgam
Feb 13, 2015

by Nyc_Tattoo


Doctor Rope

Cat Noir
132 Words

Make what jokes you will about me saying it, but Deborah was a creature of habit.

Up by six for a frantic would-be triathalon to get out the door by eight. Bagel halves jammed haphazardly into a crumb crusted toaster, Deborah pulled her hair pulled into a surprisingly neat bun.

I stretch out a paw lazily, and my stomach drapes over the bar top more than I care to admit. 'Your ancestors are lions', I recite to myself in sarcastic assurance. Flats slipped on. A mad dash back to the bedroom for her phone and keys. She was gone.

The big dogs on the force were stumped, and it would once again be up to me, Mr. Cupcake, the world's foremost feline detective to crack the case. Well… maybe after another nap.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013


it's crow time again



Post More Cats
200 words

You gotta post 'em.

It's the only way to keep 'em down. Bullets, acid, dynamite--nine lives is an understatement. They've gotta have no less than two hundred and eighty four. By my count, at least.

Folks thought it was cute at first. Didn't run the numbers. Then there were the spay-and-neuter squads. Didn't work either. The containment facilities. Couldn't cram them all in, couldn't keep up with the breeding.

So now you gotta post 'em. It's pretty easy. You want it about two, three inches in diameter, sharpened at one end. Ram it right down their mouth and out their rear end. You want them to look like a cartoon, cause that means they can't get out.

Got one of them on every fencepost on the way up to the house. Legs stuck out, glassy eyes staring at me. I put 'em there so the others know what's in store when they come around. So they know I'm not going down like the rest. Like Bill.

You know the first one I posted, that was the one that bit off his wedding ring? Popped that ring back out like a candy machine in a soda shop.

This's for you, Bill.

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005


jesus

Fuschia tude
Dec 26, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019



Post more cat
28 words

The last delivery was delightful, delectable, melt-in-your-mouth delicious. I and the children simply must have more. I have included a money order for a pound of boneless.

So please,

Flesnolk
Apr 11, 2012

h

Catterdome


ujhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet50...................................................0...................

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005


Cover Charge

167

Günther was awestruck. The tiger hovered in front of him on a gravchair, all four paws operating a Google™ Animux™ tablet each.

"THE COVER CHARGE IS NINE DOLLARS," roared the tiger, voice rich with the ancient memories of a wide stretched jungle.

"poo poo, uh, can I venmo you?"

"TIGERKIND USES CATMO™."

Günther scratched the back of his head, he could feel the night lights pushing on his eyeballs, the alcohol working its pneumatic force in his innards.

"WELL," he said, "I don't have catmo, is it-"

"CATMO™"

"Uh?"

"™" roared the tiger.

"Right. Is it on the app store?"

"TIGERKIND USES THE GOOGLE™ CAT STORE™"

"I-"

"YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE."

"Right, sorry."

Günther stepped to the side. A line of twenty small, neat housecats stepped past him and into the club, snickering. Glowsticks were tied to their tails.

"I'M HUNGRY," said the tiger, and bit Günther's head off.

His phone clattered to the pavement, the search field of the app store said "how to cat sto".

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005




This was not a bad week. All the stories had something to them, and the loser wasn't a slam dunk pick.

But no one comes out of the thunderdome unscathed. This week, I'm sorry to say, Anomalous Amalgam was the loser, with The Fall From Grace.

While the story was funny, it was just not strong enough. Walk into the desert with your head bowed in shame (but please come back next week).

The Dishonorably Mentioned put out stories that were interesting each in their own way, but in Flesnolk's (H) case, it felt rushed and a messy, and in a friendly penguin's (Automatically) case it was just... Boring.

Our Honorable Mentions goes out to Anomalous Blowout, who painted an emotionally strong story with The Next Best Thing, sparksbloom , who told a grim, creepy and eerie story with Overhead and Southbound and magic cactus, who, miraculously, made the computer log format work with DRIVE TIME.

And this week's Winner, with a superbly well crafted story which hit all the right notes:
sebmojo, with Gravitas.

Ascend to the throne, again, my comrade. Let the victorious sun wash over you, see the masses, praying for succor, bow down to your splendor. Prompt.

Armack
Jan 27, 2006


Toxxing to get these Week 371 crits posted in six days or fewer.

:toxx:

Flesnolk
Apr 11, 2012

h

Continue to cat

apophenium
Apr 13, 2009


Preemptive in with :toxx:

How are you all

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk







steeltoedsneakers posted:

Oh Goddamnit.

Fight me, Muffin.

On the solid assumption that muffin and as sneaks toxx up for this, I will judge it.

400 words, due 25 sept high noon nzt, "the hole underneath the ramshackle farmhouse"

steeltoedsneakers
Jul 26, 2016







sebmojo posted:

On the solid assumption that muffin and as sneaks toxx up for this, I will judge it.

400 words, due 25 sept high noon nzt, "the hole underneath the ramshackle farmhouse"

:toxx:

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk







:siren:Pirates! Week CCCLXXII :siren:



pirates are p ace i'm sure you'll agree and that's why we're all going to write about them this week. Let's keep it simple, 1200 words, 2359 PST Friday/Sunday, but there are many different kinds of pirates so everyone who signs up will have a random descriptor given to them. :toxx: and you will be assigned a hellrule, as is my custom.

Captains:
Blackhearted'Mojo
Weepfaced Rhino
Crookshanked crimea

Swabbies

Apophenium sinking pirates (no arms) :toxx:

black griffon ice pirates (no fire) :toxx:

thranguy rat pirates

magic cactus, asteroid pirates, illiterate :toxx:

cptn_dr, ancient greek pirates, gods are real :toxx:

babyryoga, drunken pirates, noone gets hurt :toxx:

flesnolk, mud pirates, noone talks, :toxx:

chili, steam pirates

anom amalg, fat pirates, everything is melting, :toxx:

djeser, air pirates

trex, stupid pirates

applewhite, perfect pirates

Fleta, insect pirates (world just ended)

asapsalafi, zeppelin pirates

nikaer drekin, existential pirates

bolt lux, road pirates (70 kph min)

yoruichi, horse pirates (talking)

quopro, cocaine pirates, no sleep till judgment

wark say, sneaky pirates

anomalous blowout, confused pirates

Chairchucker, v enthusiastic pirates

jerusalem, whiskey pirates

flerp, reality pirates

flesnolk, dance pirates

sebmojo fucked around with this message at 01:23 on Sep 22, 2019

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005


:toxx: in and some kind of pirate word i dont know. harrg or whatever

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk







apophenium posted:

Preemptive in with :toxx:

How are you all

Your pirates are in a sinking ship, and none of them have the use of their arms.

Black Griffon posted:

:toxx: in and some kind of pirate word i dont know. harrg or whatever

Ice pirates

In your story fire has just stopped working.

sebmojo fucked around with this message at 01:14 on Sep 17, 2019

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010

Yes, the good words are gone.

Why are the good words gone?!




in

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk








Rat pirates

magic cactus
Aug 3, 2019

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye think it'd be arr, but it's really the sea! And with that horrible joke I am IN with a :toxx: for my sense of humor.

cptn_dr
Sep 7, 2011

Seven for beauty that blossoms and dies



magic cactus posted:

What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye think it'd be arr, but it's really the sea! And with that horrible joke I am IN with a :toxx: for my sense of humor.

Actually I think you'll find it's a letter of marque. In, :toxx:

BabyRyoga
May 21, 2001

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021


In :toxx: Let's do better.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk







magic cactus posted:

What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye think it'd be arr, but it's really the sea! And with that horrible joke I am IN with a :toxx: for my sense of humor.

Asteroid pirates, all your characters are illiterate

cptn_dr posted:

Actually I think you'll find it's a letter of marque. In, :toxx:

Ancient Greek pirates, in your story the gods are real

BabyRyoga posted:

In :toxx: Let's do better.

Drunken pirates, no-one gets hurt

sebmojo fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Sep 17, 2019

Flesnolk
Apr 11, 2012

h

In, hellrule

Chili
Jan 23, 2004

college kids ain't shit


Fun Shoe

In

Anomalous Amalgam
Feb 13, 2015

by Nyc_Tattoo


Doctor Rope

In and :toxx:


It may not be today or even next week or even this year... I may be a bloody mess of flayed flesh when I get there, but the throne will be mine.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013


it's crow time again



in

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006


In

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS
OF THE FUTURE
THERE ARE ONLY DOGS



Nap Ghost

In

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk







Flesnolk posted:

In, hellrule

Mud pirates, no-one talks (I'm assuming you wanted to toxx for this, let me know if not and I will remove the rule)


Steam pirates

Anomalous Amalgam posted:

In and :toxx:

It may not be today or even next week or even this year... I may be a bloody mess of flayed flesh when I get there, but the throne will be mine.

Fat pirates, everything is melting


Air pirates


Stupid pirates


Perfect pirates

sebmojo fucked around with this message at 03:46 on Sep 17, 2019

Flesnolk
Apr 11, 2012

h

sebmojo posted:

Mud pirates, no-one talks (I'm assuming you wanted to toxx for this, let me know if not and I will remove the rule)


Took asking for a hellrule as an implied toxx, ye.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

timeless Ned Flanders style


I'm not into pirates so here's to going in the opposite of my comfort zone

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk







Simply Simon posted:

I'm not into pirates so here's to going in the opposite of my comfort zone

Uncertain pirates

Anomalous Blowout
Feb 13, 2006

rock
ice
storm
abyss



It makes no attempt to sound human. It is atoms and stars.

*


In.

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Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.



Not sure I really have time to write this weekend

Nevertheless, I am in, gimme some pirates.

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