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mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




FrozenVent posted:

Chickenhawks has a story about a Huey going down in Vietnam, and when the army declared it lost the inventory of gear on the helicopter amounted to something like fifteen or twenty tons.

Chickenhawks is a hell of a novel. It's one of the top tier Vietnam-era memoirs.

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Wingnut Ninja
Jan 11, 2003

Mostly Harmless

Nystral posted:

Why would his chain be in the firing line? After all it was the MPs that hosed up and he had already done a stint in Korean prison I thought.

Yeah, it would be pretty crazy for the military to punish some people with no control or direct responsibility for an incident, just because they happened to share a nominal organizational relationship and senior leadership needed to make a visible show of "doing something about it".

:chloe:

ZombieApostate
Mar 13, 2011
Sorry, I didn't read your post.

I'm too busy replying to what I wish you said

:allears:

Tunicate posted:

Are there any tactical milsims that model military stupidity, like by having percentile rolls for equipped gear to just vanish?

I've only seen a couple minutes of somebody streaming it, but supposedly Finnish Army Simulator is close.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



Nystral posted:

Why would his chain be in the firing line? After all it was the MPs that hosed up and he had already done a stint in Korean prison I thought.

It’s the army. Things which are in no way your responsibility and possibly even out of your sight/control will end your career, because

Wingnut Ninja posted:

senior leadership needed to make a visible show of "doing something about it".

Was their response logical/appropriate? The answer is almost always NO, but this hasn’t stopped anyone since the continental army of 1776 (at least in the US).

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

But does anybody really care? He didn't have access to sensitive information or equipment, there isn't a huge/expensive operation ongoing to get him back, nothing got hosed up by his absence...

A.o.D.
Jan 15, 2006

The Lone Badger posted:

But does anybody really care? He didn't have access to sensitive information or equipment, there isn't a huge/expensive operation ongoing to get him back, nothing got hosed up by his absence...

It hit the news cycle, and that matters more than almost anything else.

`Nemesis
Dec 30, 2000

railroad graffiti

CrazySalamander posted:

That crazy guy in NK might still be alive. NK officially acknowledged that he crossed the border.

State Media said today that he wants to stay in NK due to "inhuman maltreatment and racial discrimination" in the US Army, and that he was "disillusioned at the unequal American society"

he's a lifer now i guess

A.o.D.
Jan 15, 2006
My nephew got branded as a poo poo soldier for whistleblowing on the racist treatment some of his fellow soldiers were receiving. It might be that the army has a problem!

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

I'm sure we can take North Korea at their word. They seem trustworthy.

I can't believe Trump hasn't tried to campaign with "I would call my friend, Kim, and have him released like that". I mean not really surprised, but fake shocked.

A.o.D.
Jan 15, 2006

bulletsponge13 posted:

I'm sure we can take North Korea at their word. They seem trustworthy.

I can't believe Trump hasn't tried to campaign with "I would call my friend, Kim, and have him released like that". I mean not really surprised, but fake shocked.

I'm not taking North Korea's word on whether or not the sun is going to rise tomorrow. I'm just saying that statement, from anecdotal experience, may not be complete bullshit.

stealie72
Jan 10, 2007

bulletsponge13 posted:

I'm sure we can take North Korea at their word. They seem trustworthy.

I can't believe Trump hasn't tried to campaign with "I would call my friend, Kim, and have him released like that". I mean not really surprised, but fake shocked.
Because while he's a Brave American Warfighter, he also fails the paper bag test.

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Dude’s gonna come back with pink hair and a nose ring.

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Dude's not coming back.

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
Not in one piece, anyway.

Jimmy Smuts
Aug 8, 2000

He's North Korea's problem now. I wonder if he'll gently caress up so much there that he kicks booted out of NK.

madeintaipei
Jul 13, 2012

bulletsponge13 posted:

Dude's not coming back.

But life is one big question when you're staring at the clock
The answer's always waiting at the DMZ
40 steps to freedom, so I'll take that walk
And I know that

Oh, I'm not going back
Oh, not going back

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry

mllaneza posted:

Chickenhawks is a hell of a novel. It's one of the top tier Vietnam-era memoirs.

Robert Mason's life story is a something else.

Gorilla Radio
May 10, 2007
On behalf of the Serbs, we're very sorry for the Hillary Clinton sniper incident. Next time, we'll aim better.

Jimmy Smuts posted:

He's North Korea's problem now. I wonder if he'll gently caress up so much there that he kicks booted out of NK.

Can almost guarantee this is what happens.

I mean, "inhuman maltreatment" is common every day enlisted life. You don't join the military expecting "three square, healthy meals a day" or "rooms where the insulation isn't a mix of black mold and asbestos"

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 12, 2012

This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.


SerthVarnee posted:

Goon consensus ended up somewhere between "get the commander down there ASAP if you think he can be trusted not to throw you under the bus", "get a shovel and a truck and then bury them all in the desert" and "get the commander, then get two shovels and a truck and help the commander bury that poo poo in the desert".

I've never seen so many goons agree on something so fast before.
Is it known which option(s) they chose?

SerthVarnee
Mar 13, 2011

It has been two zero days since last incident.
Big Super Slapstick Hunk
They got a hold of their commander and the intel guys to tell them about the undocumented crypto plus other stuff.
Had a lot of visitors within 10 minutes who took it all away.
Commander thanked him for reaching out and not be a complete loving idiot.

Goon consensus shifted to recommending he start buying lottery tickets since he seemed to be on a roll.

nullscan
May 28, 2004

TO BE A BOSS YOU MUST HAVE HONOR! HONOR AND A PENIS!

Biggest tabletop coalition exercise is about to kick off in Korea.

A TSgt comes to Korea as an exercise augmentee.

Hops on off the plane, drops his poo poo, goes out drankin.

Comes back, tanked, to his bunk in tent city, then proceeds to piss all over the sleeping LT in the cot next to his.

SF (security forces) get called and haul him away. He's on the next plane out.

Didn't even make it a day. We've all heard the stories, but by God it actually happened. We'll probably be looking at GO-1 coming back.

Oh, this guy must be a gently caress up right?

Prior Temporary First Sergeant
Line number for Master Sergeant
Selected for OCS.

Soju is a hell of a thing.

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Yeah but can he rebound?

nullscan
May 28, 2004

TO BE A BOSS YOU MUST HAVE HONOR! HONOR AND A PENIS!

I hope we get some kind of follow up. It can go from courts martial to mopped under the cot.

Scratch Monkey
Oct 25, 2010

👰Proč bychom se netěšili🥰když nám Pán Bůh🙌🏻zdraví dá💪?

Gorilla Radio posted:

Can almost guarantee this is what happens.

I mean, "inhuman maltreatment" is common every day enlisted life. You don't join the military expecting "three square, healthy meals a day" or "rooms where the insulation isn't a mix of black mold and asbestos"

In North Korea your three squares a day are partially black mold and asbestos

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Scratch Monkey posted:

In North Korea your three squares a day are partially black mold and asbestos

So it's an Army installation?

Fivemarks
Feb 21, 2015
I mean, if South Korea is as racist as I hear it is, I could absolutely believe that what got this guy in trouble with South Korean Police initially is some form of "Living while Black", and then he got thrown under the bus by his leadership.

Punished Ape
Sep 17, 2021

nullscan posted:

Biggest tabletop coalition exercise is about to kick off in Korea.

A TSgt comes to Korea as an exercise augmentee.

Hops on off the plane, drops his poo poo, goes out drankin.

Comes back, tanked, to his bunk in tent city, then proceeds to piss all over the sleeping LT in the cot next to his.

SF (security forces) get called and haul him away. He's on the next plane out.

Didn't even make it a day. We've all heard the stories, but by God it actually happened. We'll probably be looking at GO-1 coming back.

Oh, this guy must be a gently caress up right?

Prior Temporary First Sergeant
Line number for Master Sergeant
Selected for OCS.

Soju is a hell of a thing.

Similar story in Grafenwoehr. During an observer controller rotation there was a guy who came into the sleeping tent drunk and pissed all over another OC. This is probably the third or fourth piss story in this thread, it just keeps happening!

Grip it and rip it
Apr 28, 2020

Fivemarks posted:

I mean, if South Korea is as racist as I hear it is, I could absolutely believe that what got this guy in trouble with South Korean Police initially is some form of "Living while Black", and then he got thrown under the bus by his leadership.

I think the context clues of dude running across the DMZ and creating an international incident suggests that he probably had a direct hand in this entire mess that extended beyond just existing, but I guess you never know...

iwentdoodie
Apr 29, 2005

🤗YOU'RE WELCOME🤗

Punished Ape posted:

Similar story in Grafenwoehr. During an observer controller rotation there was a guy who came into the sleeping tent drunk and pissed all over another OC. This is probably the third or fourth piss story in this thread, it just keeps happening!

Woke up on the ship, in home port, to the sound of someone squealing in pain and loud thumps. Rolled out of my bunk, look over to the other side of the berthing to see a very wet first class beating the absolute poo poo out of a new (like, first week onboard) DC fireman.

Said fireman was taken out drinking with his shop at someone's house, since he was barely 19. He came back to the ship, got lost trying to find the head and came into our berthing and proceeded to piss all over the guy. He was still peeing while he was getting rocked.

Dude was admin separated a week later.

Similar: on deployment, pierside in Turkey. One of our new firemen came back absolutely shithoused, woke up needing to puke, rolls out of his rack and immediately starts projectile vomiting. Covers his mouth with his hand, and directs the stream straight onto a 2nd class in the middle rack. He woke up, realized dude was way bigger than him, so grabbed someone's boot off the floor and brained him with it. No one reported it so no issues.

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





iwentdoodie posted:

He woke up, realized dude was way bigger than him, so grabbed someone's boot off the floor and brained him with it. No one reported it so no issues.

That's admiral material

SerthVarnee
Mar 13, 2011

It has been two zero days since last incident.
Big Super Slapstick Hunk

SerthVarnee posted:

The poor guy who took over the armory without going through everything in there first?
Just signed off on it and waved to the previous dude as he sped off into the sunset.

There was a box of undocumented crypto, a box of receivers (I think that's what they're called anyways. The thing that is considered the gun out of all the parts that go into making one) with their serial numbers filed off and two more boxes of equally insane poo poo.

Goon consensus ended up somewhere between "get the commander down there ASAP if you think he can be trusted not to throw you under the bus", "get a shovel and a truck and then bury them all in the desert" and "get the commander, then get two shovels and a truck and help the commander bury that poo poo in the desert".

I've never seen so many goons agree on something so fast before.

Yesssss. It took me an eternity of rereading a ton of the previous idiot thread (which was absolutely worth it though), but look what I found:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3519705&pagenumber=92&perpage=40&highlight=armorer#post440224408

Edit: story ended up being more tame than I remembered it, but it certainly still got a lot of interesting reactions in the thread.

SerthVarnee fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Aug 17, 2023

BUG JUG
Feb 17, 2005



SerthVarnee posted:

Yesssss. It took me an eternity of rereading a ton of the previous idiot thread (which was absolutely worth it though), but look what I found:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=1&threadid=3519705&pagenumber=92&perpage=40&highlight=armorer#post440224408

Edit: story ended up being more tame than I remembered it, but it certainly still got a lot of interesting reactions in the thread.

Go a couple pages and that dunk on 50FA is pretty great.

SerthVarnee
Mar 13, 2011

It has been two zero days since last incident.
Big Super Slapstick Hunk
Oh yeah that one was awesome.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009
Probation
Can't post for 22 days!
The reddit relationships drama thread on SA found a secondhand Army idiot.

quote:

I was completely, blindsided- what do I do? & can I go home?

I’m a military wife & lived on base with my husband & we share twin babies. They stayed home with him. My sister had her baby & I went out of state to stay & help her for a week. I took my oldest, 7, with me. We were supposed to go back home today but my husband told me yesterday tickets were cheaper for today, I agreed & then I was served papers today. They’re dated & signed from December & say we’ve been separated but I had no idea any of this was going on? My son goes to school on base. Am I able to go home so my son can go to school? What do I do? My husband has been normally sweet to me this entire time, I’m completely blind sided.

And the top rated comment:

quote:

Not A Lawyer, but a former (married w dependent child) enlisted soldier in a unit with a lot of lovely spouses.

I read your comments.

You need to call your spouse when you get there and kindly ask him to come vouch for you and if he doesn't... guess who is monitoring the base gates? Several MPs who you can absolutely ask to help assist you in getting your spouse to come to get you because you've been wrongfully evicted and your children are potentially being abducted by your spouse.

In the case that he refuses to help you get on base, find out his batallion commander's # and call it. Even but especially if it's a very inconvenient time. The more inconvenient the better. :) Let him or her know that [RANK LASTNAME FIRSTNAME] in Whatever Company, Whatever Platoon is your husband and is preventing you from going back to the home you share with him.

It's gonna roll down hill HARD and in your favor. Document every instance of infidelity, abuse, arguments, this little "he convinced me to leave my ID at home so I couldn't get back on base" stunt, every text, every call. DOCUMENT IT ALL.

And if/when you decide to divorce, absolutely do not let him have half or more of the year with your children. The way it works in the Army is that if you do completely split half and half custody, the soldier will retain his BAH and BSAD (basic allowance for housing, basic subsidy for army dependents) and that means he gets to keep a house outside of the barracks to be able to house his children... whether he actually makes the time to see them or not. In addition his child support will not be as much. You don't want either of those.

You want him to have to go back to the barracks and you want him to have to pay as much child support as he can. Trust me. Don't let him con you into "well I have bills to pay and.."

I have worked with too many soldiers who have gotten off super easy and screwing over their ex wives.

I hope it goes better than all that, but if it doesn't please remember that you are entitled to your spousal benefits. Okay?

Good luck.

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

Cythereal posted:

The reddit relationships drama thread on SA found a secondhand Army idiot.

And the top rated comment:

That is going to make for a fun weekend.

Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Did 50FA go through every single thread on SA and sanitize their entire posting history?

Punished Ape
Sep 17, 2021
What was the dunk?

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
Probably just tired of the "YOUR STORIES ARE FAAAAAKE" brigade following him around to literally every thread he posted in to go HEY EVERYBODY, HIS STORIES ARE FAKE!
Nobody gives a rats rear end, sorry your stories are so boring

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus
his stories were like sea stories.

this ones a no shitter shipmate


was still a good read

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lightpole
Jun 4, 2004
I think that MBAs are useful, in case you are looking for an answer to the question of "Is lightpole a total fucking idiot".

ded posted:

his stories were like sea stories.

this ones a no shitter shipmate


was still a good read

He used a little artistic license to make them really good but there wasn't even anything out of the ordinary in them once you stripped that out and it was pretty obvious.

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