Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
SYSV Fanfic
Sep 9, 2003


Coulda just hosed up and ate something without realizing it.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud
Apr 7, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 38 hours!


I went shoveling snow yesterday and got some itchy heat rash from sweating under my clothes. Took some Benadryl for it and it made my heart rate go to ~104 and scared the gently caress out of me, which just made it worse because I’m a hypochondriac. Good poo poo

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




SYSV Fanfic posted:

Coulda just hosed up and ate something without realizing it.

maybe i sleep ate

DELETE CASCADE
Oct 25, 2017

i haven't washed my penis since i jerked it to a phtotograph of george w. bush in 2003


smdh if your heart rate isn't already 104 from the huge bong rip you just took

Gentle Autist
Jun 4, 2003



had an eye test today, my prescription has not changed in 10 years :smug: :confused:

SYSV Fanfic
Sep 9, 2003


fart simpson posted:

maybe i sleep ate

I had to start scheduling blood work late in the day. I'd grab a handful of crackers or something between one of my four overnight bathroom trips and realize it after I got back in bed.

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?


had a birthday, renewed my license, couldn't read the eye exam without glasses.

Gentle Autist
Jun 4, 2003



suddenly getting old man turd problems. is this what my 40s are gonna be???

psiox
Oct 15, 2001

Babylon 5 Street Team

Gentle Autist posted:

suddenly getting old man turd problems. is this what my 40s are gonna be???

take metamucil capsules

unironically owns

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud
Apr 7, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 38 hours!


Gentle Autist posted:

old man turd

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

psiox posted:

take metamucil capsules

unironically owns
alternatively: get the big bottle of sugar free fiber gummies at costco and poop like a champion

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004





FMguru posted:

sugar free ... gummies

no self harm requests please

mystes
May 31, 2006



They're probably sweetened with something other than sugar, although savory beef broth gummies or something might be interesting.

graph
Nov 22, 2006

aaag peanuts



Gentle Autist posted:

had an eye test today, my prescription has not changed in 10 years :smug: :confused:

mine hasnt changed in over 20

jesus WEP
Oct 17, 2004




Fun Shoe

mine ticks along by -.25 a year pretty reliably

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?


Gentle Autist posted:

suddenly getting old man turd problems. is this what my 40s are gonna be???

i don't know if an occasional probiotic actually does anything, but it helps me.

cowboy beepboop
Feb 24, 2001




Gentle Autist posted:

suddenly getting old man turd problems. is this what my 40s are gonna be???

stop eating fibre, eat more meat

Binary Badger
Oct 11, 2005

Trolling Link for a decade




Eat more meat = early onset arthritis (which is just inflammation), cholesterol issues

sugar free - kinda stupid to fill your body with chems just for sweet taste, your body still reacts to stuff like Splenda and winds up trying to create insulin for no good reason, still overworks your pancreas, if you're gonna use something use stevia or xylitol, stevia is natural and xylitol may help with bone density

too much diet coke and you'll wind up ossifying / super damaging your kidneys

don't ask me how i know

as far as turd issues go, either metamucil (I don't use caps as I like the taste) or sodium docusate tabs

Binary Badger fucked around with this message at 15:51 on Jan 10, 2022

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




how do you know

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'


doesn’t xylitol make u poo poo also

Binary Badger
Oct 11, 2005

Trolling Link for a decade




major cormorbidities thats what

Tricky Dick Nixon actually made sure Medicare covers one of them back in 1973

but it doesn't really make up for some of the other poo poo he did

Binary Badger fucked around with this message at 15:59 on Jan 10, 2022

Kenny Logins
Jan 11, 2011

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL. I SINK ALL COFFINS AND I SINK ALL HEARSES HARD. MAKING WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SPIT MY LAST BREATH AT THEE


Captain Foo posted:

doesn’t xylitol make u poo poo also
it do. or it did like 30+ years ago lol

mediaphage
Mar 22, 2007

Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through


Binary Badger posted:

sugar free - kinda stupid to fill your body with chems just for sweet taste, your body still reacts to stuff like Splenda and winds up trying to create insulin for no good reason, still overworks your pancreas, if you're gonna use something use stevia or xylitol, stevia is natural and xylitol may help with bone density

lol you weirdo stevia and xylitol are chemicals too, natural does not mean good for you

but anyway they’re all fine.

and yes a lot of sugar alcohols make you poo poo liquid because you don’t digest them so they pass unmolested lower into your gi tract. they tend to be hygroscopic so they pull water into your large intestine or colon out of the surrounding tissue.

they tend to be fine in small amounts even for people who tend to be sensitive to those effects. maltitol is the worst of both worlds because it makes you poo poo and your body treats it partially like sugar anyway

ultravoices
May 10, 2004

You are about to embark on a great journey. Are you ready, my friend?


the worst gas i ever experienced was from a bag of sugar free gummies

i was like 90% farts for three days

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

ultravoices posted:

the worst gas i ever experienced was from a bag of sugar free gummies

i was like 90% farts for three days
aim for 100% next time and become one with your post history

Binary Badger
Oct 11, 2005

Trolling Link for a decade




mediaphage posted:

lol you weirdo stevia and xylitol are chemicals too, natural does not mean good for you

Ya thats obvious but you're right, we are surrounded by chems some good some bad

quote:

but anyway they’re all fine.

Kenny Logins
Jan 11, 2011

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL. I SINK ALL COFFINS AND I SINK ALL HEARSES HARD. MAKING WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SPIT MY LAST BREATH AT THEE


ultravoices posted:

the worst gas i ever experienced was from a bag of sugar free gummies

i was like 90% farts for three days
same. my parents didn't know about sorbitol/xylitol and gave me a bag of them when I was like 6 or 7

it wasn't just gas although i was able to find the bathroom in time a couple hours later

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud
Apr 7, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 38 hours!


I ate enough of those sorbitol gummies to poo poo myself too except I was 34 instead of 7

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

Kenny Logins posted:

same. my parents didn't know about sorbitol/xylitol and gave me a bag of them when I was like 6 or 7

it wasn't just gas although i was able to find the bathroom in time a couple hours later
when those bundy jerks occupied the malheur wildlife sanctuary, someone sent them a 10 pound bag of sugar free gummies

Cold on a Cob
Feb 6, 2006

i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually


College Slice

sugar alcohols are so loving terrible and they've started using them in a lot of things now, maybe b/c they taste better than aspartame? idk

Kenny Logins
Jan 11, 2011

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL. I SINK ALL COFFINS AND I SINK ALL HEARSES HARD. MAKING WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SPIT MY LAST BREATH AT THEE


FMguru posted:

when those bundy jerks occupied the malheur wildlife sanctuary, someone sent them a 10 pound bag of sugar free gummies
praxical!

mediaphage
Mar 22, 2007

Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through


they’re used in small amounts in tons of foods because they can be texture, stability, and water activity modulators in your food product. most of the time they’re in small amounts, though, like they might be found in fruits and other natural products

it’s not so much that they’re a replacement for something like aspartame. aspartame is what’s known as a supersweetener. these are molecules that can be hundreds of times sweeter than sugar. others include the active compounds in stevia and monkfruit as well as sucralose. these are used in very small amounts, like milligrams per serving. way too little to anything except flavour.

the sugar alcohols on the other hand will be used on the order of grams per serving and replace many of the physical effects that are traditionally provided by sugar.

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004





Captain Foo posted:

doesn’t xylitol make u poo poo also

ultravoices posted:

the worst gas i ever experienced was from a bag of sugar free gummies

i was like 90% farts for three days

finally somebody gets what i'm saying

when ms jones and i were dating we tried some sugar free gummies. we expected the "gastrointestinal distress" thing to mean "if you are a glutton, you'll get a tummy ache". what we got was "if you eat a handful of these, your insides will try very hard to become your outsides."

that poo poo's full on poison IMO

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMjgaa5j_LE

Trig Discipline
Jun 3, 2008

Please leave the room if you think this might offend you.


Grimey Drawer

my elderly mother is on very expensive prescription laxatives and now i'm wondering whether we shouldn't just be buying her a shitload of sugar free gummies instead

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'


gmuuy

mystes
May 31, 2006



Trig Discipline posted:

my elderly mother is on very expensive prescription laxatives and now i'm wondering whether we shouldn't just be buying her a shitload of sugar free gummies instead
That probably depends on how much you hate her

Achmed Jones
Oct 16, 2004





c arthritis s: gently caress my hands hurt. voltaren makes them not hurt but then i get nauseous. i could counter that by only applying it in a full stomach but ain't nobody got time for breakfast, that's sleepin time

mystes
May 31, 2006



I didn't know they made Voltron for arthritis

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

Trig Discipline posted:

my elderly mother is on very expensive prescription laxatives and now i'm wondering whether we shouldn't just be buying her a shitload of sugar free gummies instead
happy new year, trig

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply