Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"

Thumbtacks posted:

in, i will have to rereg soon i suspect but im posting now to be safe

i know better than to toxx now so i definitely won't do that this time but i'm not a coward, haunt me

You are the Lucky Second Nun

Sparknotes says: The Second Nun is not described in the General Prologue, but she tells a saint’s life for her tale.

But! The Second Nun comes with a surprise! She can be the second someone else! You can pick any other role that has already been assigned -- you have until signups close to do this. You will then be the Lucky ________.

This has zero effect on whoever has the role originally.

MockingQuantum posted:

In, and if I made it in today, I will NOT purify my room.

You are the Magenta Parson

Sparknotes says: The only devout churchman in the company, the Parson lives in poverty, but is rich in holy thoughts and deeds. The pastor of a sizable town, he preaches the Gospel and makes sure to practice what he preaches. He is everything that the Monk, the Friar, and the Pardoner are not. AND ALSO MAGENTA.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"
The Hideous Hermit on the Side of the Road is HERE!

GrandmaParty posted:

Gimme whatever that Hermit's got in his sack. :toxx:



This hosed-up pitcher shaped like a lion simultaneously eating a man and being ridden by a man may seem like the perfect thing for a Finicky Host, but all that comes out of it is soapy wine. Weird! Disgusting!

One of the main characters in your story is obsessed with getting another specific person to take a bath


magic cactus posted:

:toxx: gimmie those tchotchkes



What does a Wretched Miller actually need? I don't know, but Hideous Hermit convinced you to buy a beautiful bowl, which immediately broke. No refunds.

You always get three halves, but never a whole.

take the moon posted:

in, :toxx:, haunt me



Sophistication isn't the same as rich, so the Sophisticated Plowman can only afford a brooch that fell off the back of a cart. Jewelry is easy to steal. Money? Child's play. Kisses? Happens all the time. The words right out of my mouth? Not when I'm the Narrator.

Your story involves the theft of something highly improbable, because it is very small, very large, or non-corporeal, and thus sizeless.

Liquid Communism posted:

Further I know medieval tales, so I must have whatever misfortunate :toxx: thing the Hermit would pawn off on me.



For your sacraments, a Wet Friar need sacred oils, and where better to keep them than this chrismatory shaped like a phallus church tower. You think it is also a convenient place to keep your ill-gotten gains, but alas, all your coins get oily and everyone knows where they have been. Gross. And Embarrassing!

Your story involves something corrupt disguised as something pure, and something pure disguised as something corrupt

Dr. Kloctopussy fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Nov 3, 2020

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"
The Pilgrim Times: Monday Evening Edition

Three more penitent souls have joined our companye, bringing the total to eleven! That's also how many toes I have.

Announcement regarding the general confusion of traveling in such a large group: Pilgrims are advised to check their status regularly in this, the formal Record of the Partie and its Magnificent Deeds.

For those of you who unwisely made a purchase from the Hideous Hermit:
1) You do not need to use the actual object in your story, though you can!
2) These curses cannot be removed by the Hedge Magician

Employment notice: The party is currently seeking two wise judges.
One shall be the hideous hermit and may give out hell rules (assuming more people toxx)
The other shall be the Hedge Magician and may also give out hell rules, but has to claim they are the hideous hermit while doing it.


ENCOUNTER (second notice)
Tonight we will be staying in a HAUNTED CASTLE. You may pay 100 words to have our traveling hedge magician purify your room, or you may sleep in an unpurified room, where you may be (definitely will be) visited by a ghost!

Additional rumors heard along the road say that the castle is haunted by real, authentic medieval ghosts.

You have until 7:59am pst tomorrow to decide whether or not to purify your room. That's roughly 11 hours from now. People who don't decide will stay in a haunted room by default.

You also have until 7:59am pst tomorrow to sign up for 1500 words. At 8am, the blood sun rises and only 1400 words will be available!

Dr. Kloctopussy fucked around with this message at 06:43 on Nov 3, 2020

Weltlich
Feb 13, 2006
Grimey Drawer

Dr. Kloctopussy posted:

ENCOUNTER:
Tonight we will be staying in a HAUNTED CASTLE. You may pay 100 words to have our traveling hedge magician purify your room, or you may sleep in an unpurified room, where you may be (definitely will be) visited by a ghost!

"And shame it is, if a preest take keep,
A shiten shepherde and a clene sheep."

I wolde have my bed clened. (-100 wordes)

take the moon
Feb 12, 2011

by sebmojo

Antivehicular posted:

An interprompt, courtesy of TDbot:

"He had to find him, the fate of the Empire was at stake!"

250 words.

passover
250 words

I wish she'd shut the gently caress up every once in a while. Haven't we doped her up enough? And this dude keeps bugging me to watch Star Wars with him. No, I've never seen it. But I don't care if Luke Skywalker saves the Empire or whatever.

Won't stay on her meds so she gets, they call it an IM? And this dude is awk central so I'm low-key at the end of my rope with both of them. Yeah, she has some kind of autism or downs or something. She figured out how to use the fridge, I can say that for sure. So my phone flashes that loving white light and I know it's him and I start putting it together in my head.

You should meet my sister, I text. She's quirky. More like hyper. Like when I took M that one time and it took forever to kick in and when it did I was nowhere near a dance floor. So I couldn't stop talking and I glazed my friend's eyes saying that I knew what Belle had to deal with. Some creepy hunchback or something and oh these people have hearts of gold. So he's like okay 'cause his boy-radar got the dick-cleared-for-launch signal to his brain. I don't need to be on M to know that. So what do I care? She'll shut the gently caress up. Luke fucks Princess Leia, right? Everyone wins. Works for me. There’s magic in this world, if you look.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004

коммунизм хранится в яичках
I have this week off and intend to do anything but watch the news, so count me in.

Further I know medieval tales, so I must have whatever misfortunate :toxx: thing the Hermit would pawn off on me.

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"

Liquid Communism posted:

I have this week off and intend to do anything but watch the news, so count me in.

Further I know medieval tales, so I must have whatever misfortunate :toxx: thing the Hermit would pawn off on me.

You are the Wet Friar

Sparknotes says: Roaming priests with no ties to a monastery, friars were a great object of criticism in Chaucer’s time. Always ready to befriend young women or rich men who might need his services, the friar actively administers the sacraments in his town, especially those of marriage and confession. However, Chaucer’s worldly Friar has taken to accepting bribes. AND ALSO WET.

Your purchase from the hermit has been edited into the Hermit post above.

You did not choose to purify your room, so your room at the HAUNTED CASTLE was, in fact HAUNTED.

You currently have 1800 words.

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"
MONDAY ENCOUNTER RESULTS: YOU HAVE BEEN HAUNTED IN THE HAUNTED CASTLE

Those of you who stayed in a haunted room have been visited by a ghost of a real, authentic medieval dead person. Traumatized by this experience, you have developed developed both an AVERSION to something and an AFFINITY for something. You must use one of these things in your story, though it need not feature prominently. If you use your aversion, the thing must be portrayed in a negative light. Conversely and unsurprisingly, if you use your affinity, it must be portrayed in a positive light.

Please announce by close of sign ups, Friday at 11:59pm pst, which you are choosing.

Grandma Party, the Finicky Host
You were haunted by the ghost of Ivette, wife of Richard, son of Robert of Staplehoe, who in 1269 was murdered by her husband and then thrown into a well.
You have developed an AVERSION to wells.
You have developed an AFFINITY for being thrown.

Thranguy, the Hellish Pardoner
You were haunted by the ghost Richard Underwood, killed by Ralph of Stoke, by reason of an ancient grudge
You have developed an AVERSION to ancient grudges.
You have developed an AFFINITY for ancient grudges.

Antivehicular, the Greedy Mancible
You were haunted by the ghost of John Cobbler, killed by William of Wellington’s clerk, John, who refused to pay for a candle. He struck the brains from his skull instead.
You have developed an AVERSION to parsimonious people.
You have developed an AFFINITY for candles.

Magic Cactus, the Wretched Miller
You were haunted by the ghost of Robert de Balsham, who, already suffering from an infirmity, rose from his bed & laid himself on the ground where he immediately died in 1301
You have developed an AVERSION to dirt.
You have developed an AFFINITY for staying in bed

Walamor, the Screeching Summoner
You were haunted by the ghosts of -- Little, W. Spring, & W. Stall, who were hanged in 1298 for robbing from John the Summoner of Leicester a sword, blanket, & one basin with a laver
You have developed an AVERSION to things that come in threes
You have developed an AFFINITY for swords, blankets, and basins with lavers (you only need to use one of these)

BabyRyoga, the Macabre Merchant
You were haunted by the ghost of John de Glaskow, who died after being run in by an ox being brought to slaughter in 1297. The ox managed to carry him, impaled on its horn through the stomach, for some 40 feet before it threw him to the ground. The ox is valued at half a mark.
You have developed an AVERSION to cattle.
You have developed an AFFINITY for short-distance racing.

take the moon, the Sophisticated Plowman
You were haunted by the ghost of Peter de Huntingdon, who died in 1301 when, in drunken wrestling with Andrew Prille, his leg was badly broken and became infected
You have developed an AVERSION to drunken wrestling
You have developed an AFFINITY for broken things

thumbtacks, the Lucky Second Summoner
You were haunted by the ghost of Cristina Morel, who died in 1300, kicked “under the navel” by Reymund Bernard, who had accused her husband of stealing his coat
You have developed an AVERSION to husbands.
You have developed an AFFINITY for coats.

MockingQuantum, the Magenta Parson
You were haunted by the ghost of John Wheeler, who died in 1389 when he fell from the church bell tower attempting to catch pigeons
You have developed an AVERSION to bells
You have developed an AFFINITY for pigeons

Liquid Communism, the Wet Friar
You were haunted by the ghost of Philip de Asshendone, who was struck and killed in 1322 by William atte Rowe for reprimanding him for tipping a urinal on another man's shoe
You have developed an AVERSION to things being spilled
You have developed an AFFINITY for shoes

Dr. Kloctopussy fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Nov 3, 2020

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013
This is the best prompt I’ve seen in this thread, I’m dying.

I would like to be the LUCKY (second) SUMMONER please.

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"
The Pilgrim Times: Tuesday Afternoon Edition

Another pilgrim has joined our joyous travels, and now we number twelve. We can now evenly split an order of hot cross buns. Additionally, the Lucky Second Nun has now become the Lucky Second Summoner, but that did not change our numbers.

Our stay at the HAUNTED CASTLE was a success, in the sense that at least none of us became ghosts to haunt future pilgrims.

New Pilgrims are still very welcome, and those who join before 7:59am pst tomorrow (Wednesday) morning will begin with 1400 words

Announcement regarding the naming of stories: I would be extremely pleased if everyone would name their story The Adjective Role's Tale: Your Actual Story Name. This should have zero affect on the story you write or its actual name, and will not be included in the word count, but it will look EXTREMELY COOL in the archives. The ups and downs of our journey, and the encounters we have along the way, will also be memorialized in a GENERAL PROLOGUE that will be recorded as a DQed story. (Hopefully flerp will hear this announcement from inside his private carriage)

For those of you who suffer the effects of an encounter: You have until sign-ups close, Friday at 11:59pm pst, to decide whether or not to pay the Hedge Magician 200 words to remove an effect. It costs 200 words for EACH effect you want removed. Your existing effects may, in turn, have effects on your later effects, but maybe not, because, tbh that sounds like a lot of work.

Employment notice: The party is currently seeking two foolish judges.
One shall be the hideous hermit and may give out hell rules (assuming more people toxx)
The other shall be the Hedge Magician and may also give out hell rules, but has to claim they are the hideous hermit while doing it.

TUESDAY'S ENCOUNTER

Tonight we will be staying at an INN OF QUESTIONABLE QUALITY. Your all-inclusive tour package includes meals and drinks, but not drinks of an unquestionable quality.

You must choose one of the following:
1) Pay 100 words to upgrade to the deluxe drink package, which will give you not only give you unlimited drinks of your choosing, but will also ensure that they are SAFE.
2) Drink the water, which will make you SICK.
3) Drink the beer, which will make you DRUNK (and also sick, but not SICK)


The Inn also hosts an INFAMOUS DRINKING CONTEST.
Participation in the drinking contest is completely optional, and participation and the results have zero effect on your choice of drink or its effects.
How it works:
1) The drinking contest costs 25 words to enter
2) You can spend up to an additional 25 words to increase your chances by using them to explain why you, the {Adjective Role}, would be very good at a drinking contest.
3) These arguments will be evaluated by me, the Narrator, and given a score between 1 and 3. Unless you don't write anything or do an obviously lazy job to try to get out of this part of the contest, in which case you will get a negative score, and also I may just straight-up cheat to make sure you don't win, because that would take all the fun out of this.
4) For each of you, I will roll a six-sided die, and the result will be added to your persuasiveness score. This is how many drinks you drink before passing out.
5) The winner is whoever drinks the most drinks, and they will win all of the words entered into the contest, unless that number is over 500, in which case there will also be a second place winner.

You have until 7:59am pst tomorrow (Wednesday) to make your choices. People who do not chose their beverage will drink BEER by default.

If this is too complicated, you can COMPLAIN, and I will try to make things simpler going forward.

Dr. Kloctopussy fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Nov 3, 2020

SkaAndScreenplays
Dec 11, 2013

by Pragmatica
In

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007
Just a reminder that the Traveling CCircus Showcase of Wonders Show will be departing CC soon for its whirlwind adventure around the forums. Share your art, writing, animations, scrawlings, or whatever else you're proud of with the rest of the forums and see what goons from other subfora are up to!

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"

You are the Real Wife of Bath

Sparknotes says: Bath is an English town on the Avon River, not the name of this woman’s husband. Though she is a seamstress by occupation, she seems to be a professional wife. She has been married five times and had many other affairs in her youth, making her well practiced in the art of love. She presents herself as someone who loves marriage and sex, but, from what we see of her, she also takes pleasure in rich attire, talking, and arguing. She is deaf in one ear and has a gap between her front teeth, which was considered attractive in Chaucer’s time. She has traveled on pilgrimages to Jerusalem three times and elsewhere in Europe as well. AND ALSO REAL.

You currently have 1400 words.

Hawklad
May 3, 2003


Who wants to live
forever?


DIVE!

College Slice
IN!

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"

You are the Ultra Nun's Priest

Sparknotes says: Like the Second Nun, the Nun’s Priest is not described in the General Prologue. His story of Chanticleer, however, is well crafted and suggests that he is a witty, self-effacing preacher. AND ALSO ULTRA.

THIS ROLE COMES WITH A SURPRISE!

You can elect to be given a different role, randomly selected from ALL the roles (i.e. both the ones already assigned, and not already assigned). You will then be the Ultra {New Role}

If you just aren't sure yet, you have until 11:59pm pst on Friday to make this election. Until you make the choice, you will participate in any role-related optional games (e.g. the drinking contest) as the Ultra Nun's Priest.

You currently have 1400 words

take the moon
Feb 12, 2011

by sebmojo
im drinking the water to stay hydrated as i

drink in the contest. my persuasive argument for why i, a sophisticated plowman will win this loutish competition is as follows:

my whole life i've adhered to a sobriety that has repressed the heck out of any self-destructive urges. my low tolerance affords me a drastic buzz which i will chase like the dragon of st george which probs hasnt happened yet. once i start i literally can't stop as the gaba effect that science doesnt understand yet chills me into a calm trashed state which i enjoy thoroughly. in the morning i'll feel guilty to the max and will furiously pray for forgiveness. but for now i'm jamming a whole lifetime's worth of sin into one night and woe betide anyone who thinks they can outdrink a genetic tendency for alcoholism which may very well exist i just have spent my shackling to this mortal coil not exploring it. in conclusion i'll go hard. thanx for reading

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"
wow it appears that only one other person is staying up and drinking with my and the bartender at this Inn of Questionable Quality! That's too bad because I'm pretty drunk and just bet 100 words that I can win this drinking contest.

*due to contractual limitations, the Narrator cannot actually win the drinking contest, but the 100 words are in the victory pool now.

MockingQuantum
Jan 20, 2012



I will drink water, but I will pay the 100 words to ensure it is clean, for temperance is a virtue and the body is God's temple.

magic cactus
Aug 3, 2019

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.
Alright, I’m trashed IRL so it’s go time:

Why should I, the wretched miller win this drinking contest? Firstly, being the sort of miserable lout who proudly proclaims himself to be wretched, I know I can hold my liquor. Many a night has been spent by my cups, as I try to forget the things I’ve done. Secondly, I have a kickass flour recipe. Flour, as even the lowliest peasant well knows, is the main ingredient in bread, which soaks up alcohol and allows those of strong constitution to drink even more.

Thirdly, I swapped out your dice with my own :smuggo:.

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Yeah, I'll spend 100 words on deluxe drinks. No need to be stingy!

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010


Deceitful and black-hearted, perhaps we are. But we would never go against the Code. Well, perhaps for good reasons. But mostly never.
I'll tell you all a little secret. See, I've been to Hell and back again. I know what it is, and let me assure you that you do not want even a little taste of it. And when I was there, I stood face to face with old scratch himself, and I did not flinch. I challenged him right then and there to just such a contest, and I tell you all that I drank his demonic arse under the table. I doubt any of you are his match, let alone mine.

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013
Well, you've convinced me. I will pay 100 words to drink water and more importantly NOT drink whatever the hell the Pardoner's been drinking.

Walamor
Dec 31, 2006

Fork 'em Devils!
I will drink the BEER but will not participate in drinking contest shenanigans!

G-Mawwwwwww
Jan 31, 2003

My LPth are Hot Garbage
Biscuit Hider
I'll be partaking of the beer, sir.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004

коммунизм хранится в яичках
Beer for me by default, as I was too busy drinking and being wretched before the eyes of the LORD to answer in a timely manner.

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"
TUESDAY ENCOUNTER RESULTS: YOU HAVE BEHAVED QUESTIONABLY IN THE INN OF QUESTIONABLE QUALITY

Wow, my head really HURTS. What even happened last night? The only thing I remember is lots of singing. I’m not sure we want to know the details, but for some of us, the after-effects are undeniable (unless you pay 200 words to the Hedge Magician. PS Someone please be the hedge magician and judge with me).

You now have these lyrics stuck in your head and they will subconsciously affect your story in some way.

Grandma Party, the Finicky Host
You chose to drink BEER, but I’m pretty sure you chose after the deadline, so you drank the default drink, which was BEER. You got DRUNK and confessed that you are a huge Mi’Lady Gaga fan. I would not have guessed!
A dizzy twister dance, can't find my drink or man
Where are my keys? I lost my phone, phone


Also what even is a phone? You were unable to explain this last night.


Thranguy, the Hellish Pardoner
You entered the drinking contest, but did not choose a drink, so you drank BEER. You got DRUNK and confessed that you love Old Waiting Tom. I might have guessed this one, to be honest.
Now the moon's rising
Ain't got no time to lose



Antivehicular, the Greedy Mancible
You bought the DELUXE UPGRADE, and were wisely silent on the matter of your music preferences. (-100 words)


Magic Cactus, the Wretched Miller
You entered the drinking contest, but did not choose a drink, so you drank BEER. You got DRUNK and confessed that your favorite musician is Gareth of the Brooke. Maudlin.
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places



Weltlich, the Nebulous Shipman
You did not choose a drink, so you drank BEER. You got DRUNK and confessed that the musical stylings of those who Mayeth be Giants bring you great joy. You also seem to think they are actually giants? That seems a little far-fetched to me.
Lie still, little bottle
Don't twist, it ain't twistin' time
With every move you make you just disintegrate my ever-troubled mind



Walamor, the Screeching Summoner
You chose to drink BEER, but I’m pretty sure you chose after the deadline, so you drank the default drink, which was BEER. You got DRUNK and confessed that you adore Sia of Bidledlagard, and are sad that she is a nun. Did not need to know that last part.
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist, Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry



BabyRyoga, the Macabre Merchant
You did not choose a drink, so you drank BEER. You got DRUNK and confessed that your favorite minstrels are the Tub Thumpers. Interesting choice.
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him of the best times



take the moon, the Sophisticated Plowman
You chose to drink WATER. The shots you took during the drinking contest did not stop you from getting SICK. You locked yourself in a room with the future-ghost of Emily Dickinson. Why?
After great pain, a formal feeling comes –
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs –



thumbtacks, the Lucky Second Summoner
It was expensive, but after confirming that it was NOT what the Hellish Pardoner was drinking, you paid for the CLEAN WATER. You claimed to have a headache and went to bed early, but no one believed you. (-100 words)


MockingQuantum, the Magenta Parson
After confirming that it WAS what the Lucky Second Summoner was drinking, you also paid for the CLEAN WATER. You drank it silently in the corner alone. (-100 words)


Liquid Communism, the Wet Friar
You did not choose a drink, so you drank BEER. You got DRUNK and confessed that you’re really into Lil Jon, which seems a little bit on the nose, but ok.
Get outta your mind (what), get outta your mind (what), get outta your mind (what)
Bump that poo poo, get outta your mind (what)



SkaAndScreenplays, the Real Wife of Bath
You did not choose a drink, so you drank BEER. You got DRUNK and confessed that every day you listen to Though Art Forty.
I was wrong, now I find
Just one thing makes me forget
Red, red wine....



Hawklad, the Ultra Nun’s Priest
You did not choose a drink, so you drank BEER. You got DRUNK and confessed that you also really like the Tub Thumpers. One person in the party, ok, but two? Wow.
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down

Dr. Kloctopussy fucked around with this message at 03:53 on Nov 5, 2020

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"
THE PILGRIM TIMES: WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON EDITION

Yesterday two more people joined us, which means there are 14 of us. It has come to my attention that I have not been counting myself, although technically I am part of this companye. Perhaps I was in denial? So there are either 14 or 15 of us, I haven’t decided.

New Pilgrims are still very welcome. If you join before 8am pst tomorrow morning, you will start with 1300 words. There are still way too many adventures to be had!

Pilgrims can see their word counts and current curses in the Chronicles of the Pilgrimage to the Blood Throne

Results of the Drinking Contest
Three brave (idiot) souls were brave (idiotic) enough to challenge me to a drinking contest. The bartender and I had a clever plan to water down my drinks and totally fleece you, but unfortunately our plan was discovered, so I was disqualified and had to forfeit my 100 words.

The WINNER is Thranguy, the Hellish Summoner! I guess drinking with the devil is actually effective training. Next you’re going to tell us you can also play the fiddle, too. You drank 7 drinks, barely edging out the Wretched Miller to win TWO HUNDRED EXTRA WORDS. Do not make me regret this more than I already do.

magic cactus, the Wretched Miller: you thought thought you could count on your experience drinking alone with a nice hunk of bread to see yourself through a drinking contest with me and a dinner of questionable quality. Ha! Even your loaded dice could not save you, since you told me about them, and they were confiscated. You drank 6 drinks, and came in second (-50 words).

take the moon, the Sophisticated Plowman: you hoped that your low-tolerance would somehow turn into high-tolerance, but it turns out you can still pass out in a fugue state. You only drank 4 drinks, and lost the drinking contest (-50 words).

BUT!!! ALL THREE participants in the drinking contest (the Wretched Miller, the Sophisticated Plowman, and the Hellish Summoner) woke up with Double Vision. Instead of using your own flashrule from an encounter, you may use another pilgrim’s flash rule from that same encounter. This does NOT affect the other pilgrim. It’s not a steal or a trade, it’s an extra copy. A double, if you will. That you see. With your Double Visiondouble vision.

WEDNESDAY’S ENCOUNTER

Tonight we will be passing by RUINED ABBEY. Rumor has it that the last Abbess was possessed by the devil, acquired a great fortune, and left it buried beneath the floor of the sanctuary. That’s right, there is BURIED TREASURE.

That treasure is mostly WORDS, but also includes RELIGIOUS ARTIFACTS that may be able to cure one of your encounter effects.

The floor of the Abbey is a 10x10 grid of tiles, marked with letters A-J on one axis, and 1-10 on the other. This was a common way of designing churches in the late 4th century and is definitely NOT because I am using a spreadsheet. I have no idea what a spreadsheet even is. Is that something you do to a bed?

To dig for treasure:
1) Choose the tile you want to dig by posting the coordinates your chosen tile (i.e. A1, J10, etc)
2) Do this by NOON pst tomorrow.


Only one person can dig under each tile. Whoever gets there first. If you do not choose a tile to dig under, you will have to listen to the current Abbess tell you about all the maladies she believes she has suffered in the past fifty years, in great anatomical detail, while the rest of us dig for treasure. (Functional result: nothing happens.)

This encounter can only bring you good things, so there is no need to pay the Hedge Magician, who apparently isn’t bothering to show up anyway??

Dr. Kloctopussy fucked around with this message at 03:27 on Nov 5, 2020

G-Mawwwwwww
Jan 31, 2003

My LPth are Hot Garbage
Biscuit Hider
G9 Please.

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010


Deceitful and black-hearted, perhaps we are. But we would never go against the Code. Well, perhaps for good reasons. But mostly never.
F8

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Dig in G6

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004

коммунизм хранится в яичках
J10 please.

BabyRyoga
May 21, 2001

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021
I will take B4. No whammies!

magic cactus
Aug 3, 2019

We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.
E3 for me please!

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









in, um a2

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"

sebmojo posted:

in, um a2

You are the Faded Squire

Sparknotes says: The Knight’s son and apprentice. The Squire is curly-haired, youthfully handsome, and loves dancing and courting. AND ALSO FADED.

Edit, that description kind of sucks, so you can also have the LitCharts description: The Squire is a young knight in training, a member of the noble class. While he is chivalrous and genteel, he is not quite as perfect as his father, the Knight, as he wears fine clothes and is vain about his appearance. The Squire is being trained in both the arts of battle and the arts of courtly love. AND ALSO FADED.

You currently have 1300 words.

take the moon
Feb 12, 2011

by sebmojo
5G

Thumbtacks
Apr 3, 2013
C8 please

Hawklad
May 3, 2003


Who wants to live
forever?


DIVE!

College Slice
A1 - make it bold and spicy, like the sauce

And I would like to exercise my SPECIAL ABILITY

Hawklad fucked around with this message at 04:45 on Nov 5, 2020

MockingQuantum
Jan 20, 2012



I shall searche the quadrent J9 so as to reclame any most holie Relicks of this place which may have been caste aside by ruinous Time

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003

"It's time....to DIE!"

Hawklad posted:

A1 - make it bold and spicy, like the sauce

And I would like to exercise my SPECIAL ABILITY

You are now the Ultra Monk!!!

Sparknotes says: Most monks of the Middle Ages lived in monasteries according to the Rule of Saint Benedict, which demanded that they devote their lives to “work and prayer.” This Monk cares little for the Rule; his devotion is to hunting and eating. He is large, loud, and well clad in hunting boots and furs.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5