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MechanicalTomPetty
Oct 30, 2011

Runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me


Len posted:

Sleeping Beauty and Snow White are still on a poo poo load of merchandise though

The 90s still leaves us with Pocahontas, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules, and if they're really desperate Tarzan.

They could probably do a live action Nightmare Before Christmas that could be just trash and still bring in a billion+

I forgot about Snow White, yeah that is a big one.

I thought they already did Sleeping Beauty though; I guess I got that mixed up with the Maleficent films, which are also a thing Disney is doing.

I can't really see them doing Pocahontas though, since that's just one big waiting to happen.

MechanicalTomPetty fucked around with this message at 22:03 on Jan 25, 2020

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ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004



Sir Kodiak posted:

Disney owns the Muppet movies so they can remake all those using CG in place of puppets.

They already made a cg muppet babies.

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.




Slippery Tilde

After they're done live actioning, they'll remake those as animated movies with modern sensibilities.

IshmaelZarkov
Jun 20, 2013


MechanicalTomPetty posted:

I can't really see them doing Pocahontas though, since that's just one big waiting to happen.

Live action Song of the South, coming 2024.

Julius CSAR
Oct 3, 2007

Switches Set


MechanicalTomPetty posted:

I can't really see them doing Pocahontas though, since that's just one big waiting to happen.

https://www.duffelblog.com/2015/06/7th-cavalry-regiment-hosts-trail-of-tears-memorial-5k/

Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

MechanicalTomPetty posted:

Whats Disney going to do when they run out of Animated Canon stuff to remake into live action?

Live action sequels. They can deliver those for the next 20+ years even if it's just one sequel per live action remake, by then people are ready for the next wave of remake.

SimonCat
Aug 12, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo


College Slice

And yet we can't get a decent adaption of the Prydain Chronicles.

I'm wishing that one had been done by Don Bluth, circa 1981. Though, looking at the Black Cauldron, maybe he already did?

sethsez
Jul 13, 2006

He's soooo dreamy...



Len posted:

Sleeping Beauty and Snow White are still on a poo poo load of merchandise though

The 90s still leaves us with Pocahontas, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules, and if they're really desperate Tarzan.

They could probably do a live action Nightmare Before Christmas that could be just trash and still bring in a billion+

Maleficent basically counts as their Sleeping Beauty remake and there's no way they're ever going to touch Pocahontas, but I could see Hunchback working if they ditched the gargoyles and leaned into making it the Les Mis Lite it must have been positioned as at some point during production.

Pirate Jet
May 2, 2010


MechanicalTomPetty posted:

Edit: While I was typing that I actually thought "Oh wait, they haven't done Alice in Wonderland yet"; and then I remembered "Oh wait, no they did! It even got a sequel!".

Burton’s Alice movie was actually an Alice-as-an-adult sequel. If they let the well refill they can probably go back to it in ten years.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if they do indeed return to Pocahontas, albeit slightly rewritten.

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747


Live action moana, princess n the frog, home on the range...

Tars Tarkas
Apr 13, 2003


Go for the full dozen lost directors, Uncharted!

https://twitter.com/IGN/status/1221206379148517377

FlamingLiberal
Jan 18, 2009

Would you like to play a game?





Tars Tarkas posted:

Go for the full dozen lost directors, Uncharted!

https://twitter.com/IGN/status/1221206379148517377
Surely the 7th time is the charm

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.




Slippery Tilde

Tars Tarkas posted:

Go for the full dozen lost directors, Uncharted!

https://twitter.com/IGN/status/1221206379148517377

All the directors are leaving because they run into the inescapable conclusion that Young Nate loving sucks.

And I like Tom Holland.

Good point keep talkin
Sep 14, 2011




Uncharted 4 has old Nate and it's the best one. Give us Grandpa Nate.

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005



They’re making the directors solve the water wheel puzzle before they can get the job

Comedy option 2: what if Disney bought the rights to uncharted

Comedy option 3: make the uncharted movie about their daughter to go straight to pissing off gaters

Barudak
May 7, 2007



I struggle to understand how Nazi-less Indiana Jones is having troubles getting made into a film from a company that owns a film company

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005




There are Nazis in the first game!

Brother Entropy
Dec 27, 2009



Barudak posted:

I struggle to understand how Nazi-less Indiana Jones is having troubles getting made into a film from a company that owns a film company

i wonder how much of it might be sony or naughty dog being too precious about how their very boring protagonist should and shouldn't be portrayed and that clashing with the rotating glass door of directors who want to do anything beyond what's been portrayed in the video games

in general, franchises like this or assassin's creed kinda have an uphill battle in actually making a good, novel movie when the stories and characters are real formulaic and the fun involved was that you get to interact with the setpiece action scenes

IShallRiseAgain
Sep 12, 2008

Well ain't that precious?



Brother Entropy posted:

i wonder how much of it might be sony or naughty dog being too precious about how their very boring protagonist should and shouldn't be portrayed and that clashing with the rotating glass door of directors who want to do anything beyond what's been portrayed in the video games

in general, franchises like this or assassin's creed kinda have an uphill battle in actually making a good, novel movie when the stories and characters are real formulaic and the fun involved was that you get to interact with the setpiece action scenes

meh, I think a lot of video game movies suffer because whoever is making it usually doesn't give a poo poo about what they are adapting. They try to awkwardly turn the movie into what they actually want to make, while having it still vaguely resemble the game.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Cabana's legal advice?
I'm bourgeoisie.
I... hit the shitty
firemans carry knee.





sethsez posted:

Maleficent basically counts as their Sleeping Beauty remake and there's no way they're ever going to touch Pocahontas, but I could see Hunchback working if they ditched the gargoyles and leaned into making it the Les Mis Lite it must have been positioned as at some point during production.

Disney should go full avant garde announce a live action remake of Pocahontas

then they just release a renamed "The New World" by Terrence Malick

Brother Entropy
Dec 27, 2009



IShallRiseAgain posted:

meh, I think a lot of video game movies suffer because whoever is making it usually doesn't give a poo poo about what they are adapting. They try to awkwardly turn the movie into what they actually want to make, while having it still vaguely resemble the game.

not all video game stories are equally worth giving a poo poo about in the first place

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Cabana's legal advice?
I'm bourgeoisie.
I... hit the shitty
firemans carry knee.





Brother Entropy posted:

not all video game stories are equally worth giving a poo poo about in the first place

im going to laugh so hard if the long long long long delayed metal gear solid movie comes out

also if Revolver Ocelot isnt played by Sam Elliott why even bother

Detective No. 27
Jun 7, 2006



Beachcomber posted:

All the directors are leaving because they run into the inescapable conclusion that Young Nate loving sucks.

And I like Tom Holland.

Silver lining. They keep delaying for another 10 years and they can do appropriately aged Nathan Drake with Tom Holland.

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005



They keep burying directors in an emperors tomb and by the time time Holland finds them whoopsy

Very method acting

IShallRiseAgain
Sep 12, 2008

Well ain't that precious?



Brother Entropy posted:

not all video game stories are equally worth giving a poo poo about in the first place

It doesn't matter if the game story is worth telling or not. The movie is still an adaptation of that game's story, and still has to vaguely resemble it. You get the story the writer and or director wanted to tell awkwardly combined with the story of the original game.

Brother Entropy
Dec 27, 2009



any modern action-adventure movie plot will 'vaguely resemble' uncharted plots because that's what uncharted is mimicking in the first place, there's nothing actually unique that there needs to be protected from writers or directors doing the job they were hired to do

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Cabana's legal advice?
I'm bourgeoisie.
I... hit the shitty
firemans carry knee.





https://twitter.com/VogtRoberts/status/1201987288625897472

also lol Oscar Isaac rumoured to be Snake

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.




Slippery Tilde

Also, I think Elena is the secret star of Uncharted.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005





This guy also was in Death Stranding as one of the shelter guys.

The Fuzzy Hulk
Nov 22, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT CROSSING THE STREAMS



Wouldn’t a live-action Disney Tarzan movie just be like a normal Tarzan movie?

If they make a live action Robin Hood would it look like the Cats musical?

MechanicalTomPetty
Oct 30, 2011

Runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me


IShallRiseAgain posted:

It doesn't matter if the game story is worth telling or not. The movie is still an adaptation of that game's story, and still has to vaguely resemble it. You get the story the writer and or director wanted to tell awkwardly combined with the story of the original game.

I think a big part of this is that, until fairly recently (like in the last 15-20 years or so, if that) most video games didn't have a plot, or even a "plot", but rather "something that can be vaguely defined as an outline". There were always exceptions of course (Planescape: Torment, a bunch of adventure games, etc) but Hollywood was only interested in adapting the big name games of the time, so in most cases the director was basically being told to somehow turn 3 paragraphs of text and a bunch of 2-D sprites into a feature film.

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Nope



MechanicalTomPetty posted:

in most cases the director was basically being told to somehow turn 3 paragraphs of text and a bunch of 2-D sprites into a feature film.
Double Dragon was crazy.

"Gang steals dude's girlfriend" = "in a Los Angeles ravaged by toxic waste and gang rule, two brothers unlock a mystical medallion and become magic dragon ninjas"

Brother Entropy
Dec 27, 2009



FilthyImp posted:

Double Dragon was crazy.

"Gang steals dude's girlfriend" = "in a Los Angeles ravaged by toxic waste and gang rule, two brothers unlock a mystical medallion and become magic dragon ninjas"

see, that sounds infinitely more watchable than like, the warcraft movie which closely stuck to warcraft 1's story

remember that? there was a warcraft movie!

FilthyImp
Sep 30, 2002

Nope



Brother Entropy posted:

see, that sounds infinitely more watchable
Yeah, on paper it sounds every bit as nuts as Mario Bros the Movie.

In practice...

Remember when Wing Commander was the most faithful and best adaptation of a VG property? Remember?

MechanicalTomPetty
Oct 30, 2011

Runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me


FilthyImp posted:

Remember when Wing Commander was the most faithful and best adaptation of a VG property? Remember?

You mean Mortal Kombat, right?

Well, most successful at least. $122.1 million on an $18 million budget. Also while I was looking that up I found out they're working on a new Mortal Kombat film for 2021.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o'clock in the morning






Is the war craft movie the live action pocahontas

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




IShallRiseAgain posted:

It doesn't matter if the game story is worth telling or not. The movie is still an adaptation of that game's story, and still has to vaguely resemble it. You get the story the writer and or director wanted to tell awkwardly combined with the story of the original game.

It's not exclusive to video game movies, it's pretty common with bizarrely bad adaptations in general, like how the He-Man movie was more interested in trying to be The New Gods.

The Warcraft movie was a weird case where apparently all the CGI Orcs were actually watchable while the human scenes were awful.

FilthyImp posted:

Double Dragon was crazy.

"Gang steals dude's girlfriend" = "in a Los Angeles ravaged by toxic waste and gang rule, two brothers unlock a mystical medallion and become magic dragon ninjas"

The silly thing is how unnecessary that all is, because you have the inspiration for the game itself right there- a cheesy martial arts movie fighting through tons of minions broken up with memorable bosses, and maybe even culminate with the brothers turning on each other as a twist.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




MechanicalTomPetty posted:

You mean Mortal Kombat, right?

Well, most successful at least. $122.1 million on an $18 million budget. Also while I was looking that up I found out they're working on a new Mortal Kombat film for 2021.

It's filming in my home town, apparently! Still hoping for a Fatality involving the Mall's Balls.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



The Mortal Kombat movie succeeds because it is the thing its ripping off, a tournament of death between weird kung fu masters

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The MSJ
May 17, 2010



Crazy thing about Double Dragon is the cartoon which cribbed more from the movie than the games.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFUyAul3iXw

And Mortal Kombat, which is a weird game to adapt into a cartoon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3i4VKa1f8Q

The MSJ fucked around with this message at 07:02 on Jan 26, 2020

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