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Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005



IshmaelZarkov posted:

I'm* an extra in it!




*No indication of quality.

can you say what you do

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FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!



MonsieurChoc posted:


I have yet to watch it. It didn't seem very good.


It's very dumb and the fantasy parts clash hard with the typical Guy Ritchie Cockney Gangster parts but it's decent fun.

Especially when Arthur is using the sword because it's basically a medieval weapon of mass destruction. He cuts through dozens of enemies with one swing, sadly with no real gore.


It's also very obvious that it was intended as the first in s series because there's a bunch of core Arthurian characters that get mentioned but don't really show up (most notably Merlin) that they were probably saving for the sequel that will never happen.

FreudianSlippers fucked around with this message at 09:40 on Jan 27, 2020

The MSJ
May 17, 2010



You can tell Guy Ritchie was limited by Disney when making Aladdin, because the movie barely attempted to make Aladdin into a cockney street fighter.

Casimir Radon posted:

It wasn't even a novelization. It was a story about Lo Wang fighting a mad scientist who was trying to slam all the continents back into Pangaea.

Literally the plot of an episode of Totally Spies.

The MSJ fucked around with this message at 10:45 on Jan 27, 2020

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon


Nap Ghost

Sometimes I think you should give Guy Ritchie $200 million and let him do his thing for Super Smash Brothers. Like all the characters but they’re cockney English gangsters getting into hijinks.

fatherboxx
Mar 25, 2013



Gatts posted:

Sometimes I think you should give Guy Ritchie $200 million and let him do his thing for Super Smash Brothers. Like all the characters but they’re cockney English gangsters getting into hijinks.

Stephen Graham as Mario
Jason Statham as Luigi
Gerard Butler as Wario
Hugh Grant as Waluigi
Vinnie Jones as Bullet Bill
Mark Strong as Bowser

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?



Gatts posted:

Sometimes I think you should give Guy Ritchie $200 million and let him do his thing for Super Smash Brothers. Like all the characters but they’re cockney English gangsters getting into hijinks.

Hopefully it includes R.O.B., Fox, and two Kongs throwing barrels.

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005



fatherboxx posted:

Stephen Graham as Mario
Jason Statham as Luigi
Gerard Butler as Wario
Hugh Grant as Waluigi
Vinnie Jones as Bullet Bill
Mark Strong as Bowser

I was gonna correct your Mario to the snatch guy who played tommy

Why did we all decide he was Italian all of a sudden

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Weirdly enough, even if the directors don't clearly completely lose the plot, Mario is probably the easiest property to adapt to film mostly because it's basically perfect for animated adventures in a surreal fantasy world. (Fun note: Mario and Donkey Kong were created because they couldn't get the rights to Popeye)

Zelda is probably second easiest; it's a pretty standard fantasy story where you basically have canon precedent to throw in any particular gimmick you want.

Metroid is basically Alien with power armour and doesn't have much in the way of actual characters, though you might have fun with Ridley. Fire Emblem... similar to Zelda, you could probably take whatever you want from the source material to make a passable fantasy epic, but might have the problem with a poorly supervised director getting some really dumb ideas.

I'm not sure what's considered to be Nintendo's hot properties nowadays, so I'm open to more entertaining arguments.

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004

EVERY FAIRY TALE NEEDS ITS HERO.



Mario is tough because there isn't any definitive world or storyline. A movie would probably end up being some meta thing that encompasses every era and world because they're trying to keep everyone happy. I think they'd be smart to just stick to one particularly nostalgic era and adapt it, like Mario Bros. 3. Kids aren't going to know that it's from the 80s, 90s kids will think it's cool and retro, and adults will be satisfied that it's their Mario.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




The games themselves pretty much already do that, Mario Odyssey has some incredibly indulgent nostalgia trips while also doing new things. Mario's done a bit of everything, you actually have a fair amount of leeway as long as you keep his look right.

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005



To make money with a Mario movie they should have done a spider verse but they started with joker 2019

Don’t think about the analogy too hard it totally works

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon


Nap Ghost

Does one think there is a point in time where someone will look at the original Mario movie, decide it was good and had potential, and then choose to expand upon it?

ALFbrot
Apr 17, 2002


fatherboxx posted:

Stephen Graham as Mario
Jason Statham as Luigi
Gerard Butler as Wario
Hugh Grant as Waluigi
Vinnie Jones as Bullet Bill
Mark Strong as Bowser

Lol at the implication of Waluigi being principle cast in a Smash Brothers movie

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005



Also Gerard is principle material over Stephen graham so maybe cast Ron Jeremy instead

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:

The MSJ posted:

You can tell Guy Ritchie was limited by Disney when making Aladdin, because the movie barely attempted to make Aladdin into a cockney street fighter.

We finally saw this, what a weirdly broken, unfocused feeling movie, was a legit fascinating failure to us. Doubt I'll ever watch it again but it reminded us of Rise of Skywalker in how overproduced and oversupervised it clearly had to have been. Though contrary to what the trailers indicated Will Smith's Genie was the only good thing about it instead the misfire we were expecting.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?



The one major common premise among Mario games is the damsel-in-distress mission Mario is on to save the Princess and they should probably not do that. What might be tough, but really fun if they could pull it off, would be incorporating not just the classic Mario Bros.-style games but stuff like Dr. Mario, Mario Kart, Luigi's Mansion, etc.

RBA Starblade
Apr 27, 2008

Going Home.

Games Idiot Court Jester


Len posted:

Doom 2016 was amazing and I don't get why prelaunch everyone said it was going to be garbage.

But yeah it's great because you start and the facility is full of regular signage and then turns into poo poo like "don't forget to sacrifice a cat this coming Friday!"

My favorite is the announcement that in case of a demon invasion hold perfectly still to make it easier for the demons to murder you and use your corpse in their hell army

Detective No. 27
Jun 7, 2006



Lobok posted:

The one major common premise among Mario games is the damsel-in-distress mission Mario is on to save the Princess and they should probably not do that. What might be tough, but really fun if they could pull it off, would be incorporating not just the classic Mario Bros.-style games but stuff like Dr. Mario, Mario Kart, Luigi's Mansion, etc.

Super Mario 3D World did away with that and let Peach be one of the playable characters.

But then they went right back to it in Super Mario Odyssey. At least Peach got a fun vacation in the post game.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Detective No. 27 posted:

Super Mario 3D World did away with that and let Peach be one of the playable characters.

But then they went right back to it in Super Mario Odyssey. At least Peach got a fun vacation in the post game.

They did that as early as SMB2. (and yes, I'm aware it didn't start as a Mario game)

Even the Paper Mario games do some fun stuff with Peach being kidnapped.

Detective No. 27
Jun 7, 2006



Time is a flat circle.

https://twitter.com/ScottSullivanTV/status/1221622510208159745?s=19

Chairman Capone
Dec 17, 2008



Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

I don't remember any of this. He did do a pro-Iraq War analogue book that was pretty lovely. And the fantasy novel has the Wehrmacht dude get sick of murder for what that's worth (not much). Turtledove books suck but I've been reading them for 3/4 of my life and can't stop now.

The elf AIDS story is called "Coming Across". I actually thought it was something he wrote in the 80s but it was from 2004.

That being said, I'm surprised but glad he is now an anti-Trumper.

Gatts posted:

Does one think there is a point in time where someone will look at the original Mario movie, decide it was good and had potential, and then choose to expand upon it?

Once Trump has drained the swamp of Hollywood elites, David Icke will be able to make a sequel where Mario ad Luigi expose the secret of the underground Nazi lizard civilization to the world.

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:

Lobok posted:

The one major common premise among Mario games is the damsel-in-distress mission Mario is on to save the Princess and they should probably not do that. What might be tough, but really fun if they could pull it off, would be incorporating not just the classic Mario Bros.-style games but stuff like Dr. Mario, Mario Kart, Luigi's Mansion, etc.

Just have him be a Dr. straight up who goes go-karting as a hobby with all his friends and like because he's awesome even though he changed careers have someone mention that he still pays into union dues to support his fellow plumbers. Luigi is a weirdo who ends up getting them both into all kinds of crazy poo poo with ghosts in a mansion/whatever. At some point they get separated and he can exclaim "Mario is missing!"

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?



Ah, excuse me, Mr. Mario?
-Doctor Mario.
Oh of course, forgive me. Well then, Dr. Mario...
-Please, Dr. Mario is so formal. Just call me Mario.

duz
Jul 11, 2005

Come on Ilhan, lets go bag us a shitpost




Neo Rasa posted:

Just have him be a Dr. straight up who goes go-karting as a hobby with all his friends and like because he's awesome even though he changed careers have someone mention that he still pays into union dues to support his fellow plumbers. Luigi is a weirdo who ends up getting them both into all kinds of crazy poo poo with ghosts in a mansion/whatever. At some point they get separated and he can exclaim "Mario is missing!"

Fast & Furious 5 but it's karts and the safe is full of coins & power mushrooms.

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747


Lobok posted:

The one major common premise among Mario games is the damsel-in-distress mission Mario is on to save the Princess and they should probably not do that. What might be tough, but really fun if they could pull it off, would be incorporating not just the classic Mario Bros.-style games but stuff like Dr. Mario, Mario Kart, Luigi's Mansion, etc.

In super mario sunshine the damsel was a polluted earth

Its still topical!


Ive never played a metroid game but you could probably start with samus having a team and one new guy is the audience insert, and he has to hide in some tech room in the middle as she goes alone in her special armor and he talks her thru it on the radio, rhen he has to fight off somethjng on his own and loses the radio so they each have individual final fights

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:

duz posted:

Fast & Furious 5 but it's karts and the safe is full of coins & power mushrooms.

When it flashes back to show the switch it's accomplished by a lakitu carrying the real safe away :perfect:

Red Bones
Aug 9, 2012

"I think he's a bad enough person to stay ghost through his sheer love of child-killing."



Waluigi is the by far the easiest Mario guy to make a movie out of, he comes with a personality (charmingly horrible) clear narrative goal (obtaining money) and the mechanics of the game (dumb physical comedy) translate well into film.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?



duz posted:

Fast & Furious 5 but it's karts and the safe is full of coins & power mushrooms.

Unironically not a bad idea to do something like that, like how the Mortal Kombat movie is basically just a remake of Enter the Dragon.

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:

got any sevens posted:

Ive never played a metroid game but you could probably start with samus having a team and one new guy is the audience insert, and he has to hide in some tech room in the middle as she goes alone in her special armor and he talks her thru it on the radio, rhen he has to fight off somethjng on his own and loses the radio so they each have individual final fights

The tech person's final fight has to be against one of the really basic large insect enemies Samus can kill just by walking into them in the games and he has to use every little improvised trick and thing in the communications room to stop it intercut with Samus' confrontation some massive Mother Brain/whatever the story's final ultimate foe is.


The best Metroid movie would basically be Fata Morgana but with scenes of Samus shooting aliens in between the parts where it shows natural beauty set to Mayan creation myth recitations or Herzog talking about whatever.


Basically play Metroid games they own. :D

Neo Rasa
Mar 8, 2007
Everyone should play DUKE games.

:dukedog:

Red Bones posted:

Waluigi is the by far the easiest Mario guy to make a movie out of, he comes with a personality (charmingly horrible) clear narrative goal (obtaining money) and the mechanics of the game (dumb physical comedy) translate well into film.

Plus it has easy sequel potential since each movie can end with him getting busted/losing his money to Wario somehow/whatever and him doing the EVERYBODY'S CHEATIIIIINNNGGG voice over.

Baron von Eevl
Jan 24, 2005

WHITE NOISE
GENERATOR


Lobok posted:

Ah, excuse me, Mr. Mario?
-Doctor Mario.
Oh of course, forgive me. Well then, Dr. Mario...
-Please, Dr. Mario is so formal. Just call me Mario.

"Uh, okay Mario. Can you please help me unclog my toilet?"

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Neo Rasa posted:

The tech person's final fight has to be against one of the really basic large insect enemies Samus can kill just by walking into them in the games and he has to use every little improvised trick and thing in the communications room to stop it intercut with Samus' confrontation some massive Mother Brain/whatever the story's final ultimate foe is.


The best Metroid movie would basically be Fata Morgana but with scenes of Samus shooting aliens in between the parts where it shows natural beauty set to Mayan creation myth recitations or Herzog talking about whatever.


Basically play Metroid games they own. :D

Metroid movie should have the Space Pirates be the viewpoint characters getting their poo poo steadily wrecked by Samus.


Neo Rasa posted:

Plus it has easy sequel potential since each movie can end with him getting busted/losing his money to Wario somehow/whatever and him doing the EVERYBODY'S CHEATIIIIINNNGGG voice over.

The downside is that Robbie Rotten's actor died, because he was basically 80% of the way there.

Also now picturing a WarioWare movie that's a bunch of interlocking stories with an ensemble cast with completely insane action setpieces.

Chieves
Sep 20, 2010



Re: Waluigi movies

https://youtu.be/L3XnKr0lvDw

Xarbala
Feb 13, 2011







I knew what this link was before I clicked it

WeedlordGoku69
Feb 11, 2015

by Cyrano4747


MonsieurChoc posted:

Well, yes, but I'd love to see a very different take that still went high magic instead of the usual more realistic version we usually get. Excalibur was loving great.

yeah, and i know you post in the Type-Moon thread so I know you're 100% thinking of Fate/stay night when you say that :v:

e: no judgment, i'm probably like half the posts in that thread in the past couple months myself

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






MonsieurChoc posted:



I have yet to watch it. It didn't seem very good.



It wasn't.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

Ask me about my dream Frasier episode where Frasier and Bulldog oil their heads and then rub them together. It's definitely not a fetish of mine, I swear!

Chairman Capone posted:

The elf AIDS story is called "Coming Across". I actually thought it was something he wrote in the 80s but it was from 2004.

That being said, I'm surprised but glad he is now an anti-Trumper.

Turtledove's pro-Iraq War novel came out in 2008.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



Alan Smithee posted:

Also Gerard is principle material over Stephen graham so maybe cast Ron Jeremy instead

Today's Ron Jeremy is pretty rough, but...



This has pretty good Mario energy.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003




Any Mario movie has to include this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65uNCLBTje0

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Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005



John turtorro for waluigi

He’s been in transformers

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