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Jazerus
May 24, 2011



gun-gan or goon-gan?

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Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer




George Lucas says "goon-ga" and he's a complete moron so it's safe to assume he's doing that wrong too

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Someone told me this is the place to post sexy Star Wars aliens, so here you go:











Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 19 days!


Hang on a sec, those aren't sexy at all!

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Big Beef City posted:

Hang on a sec, those aren't sexy at all!

Not a fan of Dapper Dug and Big Titty Toydarian Jedi?

Hazo
Dec 30, 2004

SCIENCE





Bogus Adventure posted:

Someone told me this is the place to post sexy Star Wars aliens, so here you go:













Not enough big juicy eyes 6/10

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


So I Googled "Sexy Star Wars Gran" because I had a request for eyes, and this came up instead:



I got this guy, too.



He approves of that Gungan Gal's bombad bazongas

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



when i started this thread, jar jar's nipples were not something i expected to see but perhaps that was foolish of me

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~


What I want to know is why the barbarian thigh-highs have cut out heels...

Regarde Aduck
Oct 18, 2012



Grimey Drawer

Robot Style posted:

I think the EU's introduced a few terms:

Force Sensitive for people who are untrained but are connected to the Force and maybe have some basic subconscious abilities.

Force Adepts for anyone who can consciously use the Force, but aren't part of the Jedi/Sith line, like the Witches of Dathomir

Force Wielders for high-powered individuals like the Mortis Gods.

Shouldn't all life be connected to the force? Or are some thing just soulless?

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~


Regarde Aduck posted:

Shouldn't all life be connected to the force? Or are some thing just soulless?

Everything is connected to the force, not even just life. Yoda says the force is in the rocks, Rey's visions of things connected by the force includes the seas, etc. But only certain creatures are actually sensitive to its existence.

Its like a peanut allergy, except it gives you superpowers.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Dream Super Combo


Also, in the old EU at least, droids were explicitly never able to be Force Sensitive because they're not living creatures. There was a one-shot short story comic about a droid Jedi (the Astromech droid Uncle Owen was going to buy from the Jawas; it burned out its own motivator, effectively killing itself, because it sensed how important to the fate of the galaxy R2 going with Luke was), but I'm fairly sure that was meant as gag and wasn't actually canon.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Sanguinia posted:

What I want to know is why the barbarian thigh-highs have cut out heels...

Why not?

Archer666
Dec 27, 2008



W.T. Fits posted:

Also, in the old EU at least, droids were explicitly never able to be Force Sensitive because they're not living creatures. There was a one-shot short story comic about a droid Jedi (the Astromech droid Uncle Owen was going to buy from the Jawas; it burned out its own motivator, effectively killing itself, because it sensed how important to the fate of the galaxy R2 going with Luke was), but I'm fairly sure that was meant as gag and wasn't actually canon.

With Star Wars EU, you never know. Every single character/thing that showed up in the movies has to have a convoluted backstory, so a suicidal Jedi astromech doesn't strike me as something that out of the ordinary.

Archer666 fucked around with this message at 08:56 on Mar 12, 2021

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Regarde Aduck posted:

Shouldn't all life be connected to the force? Or are some thing just soulless?

yes, well, mostly. the yuuzhan vong are specifically not connected to the force at all for unclear reasons related to them getting hosed up by a couple of droid armies in their home galaxy.

one of the droid armies was made up of cartoon transformers with names like "The Great Heep"



and, well, i'll let wookieepedia take over from here

Wookieepedia posted:

However, an agent of the Abominor known as the Great Heep entered the known galaxy, although it ended up deactivated under unknown circumstances. Its body was then discovered and then placed into the Braltzamir Museum of Antiquated Machinery as an exhibit. Nearly 300 years later, the admiral of the then newly-formed Galactic Empire's starfleet, Terrinald Screed, arranged for a team of brilliant students from the Imperial Engineers Academy revive the Abominor agent, to which it eventually formed an alliance with the Galactic Empire in 15 BBY and was planted on Biitu where it immediately began stripping the planet of its natural resources.

Adventurer Mungo Baobab, while on Biitu, discovered that the Heep was siphoning moisture away from the planet's farmlands. Seeing the native Biituians plunged into the ensuing drought, Baobab destroyed the machine with the help of his droids, R2-D2 and C-3PO. The Imperial ravaging of Biitu had ended.

Sometime after its defeat, the Great Heep was found by a relative of Mungo's, Ebenn Q3 Baobab. Using the clout and wealth attached to his person, Baobab restored the droid and placed it on display at the Baobab Museum of Science. Researchers studying the droid, speculated that as many as 18 such Abominors had infiltrated the galaxy, including the being that made up the junkyard world of Ronyards. This revelation drove one of the researchers, Cantebarius H. Broom, mad with paranoia. He began dismantling every droid he came across, believing all mechanical life forms were after him.

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011



The Vong I think are disconnected from the force because they were originally symbiotes to a living planet and with the death of their planet, that left them broken and scarred to the point of losing their connection to the force and turning the survivors of their society into sadomasochistic juggalos.

Generally, no droids are connected to the force, but there's cyborgs and there's also sentient crystals in droid bodies that can use the force. Not technically robots.

With that one R5 unit that broke down, a bunch of different stories have been written explaining it as something other than a malfunction. In one R2-D2 sabotaged the droid, with another R2 explained his plight and that's why R5 sacrificed itself, it's weird. I think the novelization and radio play give alternate explanations, so it started before the EU was even a thing and may or may not still be part of the canon if it ever was in the first place.

Also the Great Heep collects Astromech droids and gives them a "droid harem" to pamper them and lull them into complacency before he feeds on them and drains them of energy. Weird show.

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



harem gonks

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


BB-8 exhaust port beads

Tall Tale Teller
May 20, 2003
Grave? Shovel! Let's go.



He had a name thank you very much. And it was Skippy the Jedi Droid.

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






Jazerus posted:

harem gonks

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012



indigi posted:

if Vader managed to kill Sheev the empire would collapse within like a year, he’s got absolutely no political savvy and seemingly no allies anywhere. it’d be a free for all

i dont think vader really gives a gently caress about the empire. vader until he learns about his kid/s is basicaly going through the motions with training/playing whatever hosed up game Sheeve has in store this week/killing rebels/killing jedi/etc. he only starts really planning to whack palpatine pretty late into the game. Basicaly, Vader is waiting to die until luke shows up.


Jazerus posted:

yes, well, mostly. the yuuzhan vong are specifically not connected to the force at all for unclear reasons related to them getting hosed up by a couple of droid armies in their home galaxy.

one of the droid armies was made up of cartoon transformers with names like "The Great Heep"



and, well, i'll let wookieepedia take over from here

i love that their are basically Reapers in star wars and they are such a minor poo poo in the EU that they are relegated to "well maybe that ugly loving robot from that cartoon that had kybo ren in it will work for it".


karmicknight posted:

Like the real breakdown is mover and shaker Motti telling Darth Vader to eat a dick with his "sorcerer's ways." Motti is a great example of how people with no connection to the big story beats the audience is aware of treat the Jedi and the Sith. They are a bunch of sorcerers following an ancient religion. They are fools and goofs and just a different political adversary to deal with that speak in riddles.

one of the better things out of the new canon is a short story from the new hope anthology where its just motti writing an angry letter to Imperial HR about how vader choked him and how he was just laying down LOGIC and REASON to Vader until vader forced his religion on motti.

SRQ
Nov 9, 2009



Dapper_Swindler posted:

i dont think vader really gives a gently caress about the empire. vader until he learns about his kid/s is basicaly going through the motions with training/playing whatever hosed up game Sheeve has in store this week/killing rebels/killing jedi/etc. he only starts really planning to whack palpatine pretty late into the game. Basicaly, Vader is waiting to die until luke shows up.

it's a good thing and important to his character arc. dumbshit stories that try to "humanize" Vader before Luke miss the point entirely- he wasn't human.He accepted his humanity was lost and was just a suit of murder that had completely given up.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Dapper_Swindler posted:

one of the better things out of the new canon is a short story from the new hope anthology where its just motti writing an angry letter to Imperial HR about how vader choked him and how he was just laying down LOGIC and REASON to Vader until vader forced his religion on motti.

Lmao, is Motti just space Ben Shapiro? Bet his wife is super disappointed, lol.

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




Bogus Adventure posted:

Lmao, is Motti just space Ben Shapiro? Bet his wife is super disappointed, lol.

She's a doctor and she assures him being drier than Tatooine is perfectly normal.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Asterite34 posted:

She's a doctor and she assures him being drier than Tatooine is perfectly normal.

"Facts don't care about the Force," sneers Motti, mugging at Darth Vader.

"Do that again, and you'll go home in an ambulance," Vader replies coldly.

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012



SRQ posted:

it's a good thing and important to his character arc. dumbshit stories that try to "humanize" Vader before Luke miss the point entirely- he wasn't human.He accepted his humanity was lost and was just a suit of murder that had completely given up.

yeah. i like vader as villian in both EUs. he is big gently caress off power house who has enough dementions that writers can do various different types of stories with him.



Bogus Adventure posted:

"Facts don't care about the Force," sneers Motti, mugging at Darth Vader.

"Do that again, and you'll go home in an ambulance," Vader replies coldly.

i mean yeah basicaly. https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/An_Incident_Report#:~:text=%22An%20Incident%20Report%22%20is%20a,view%20of%20Conan%20Antonio%20Motti.

quote:

"Whatever conclusions you ultimately draw about the incident taking place between myself and Lord Vader during yesterday morning's briefing, he was wrong, and trying to crush someone else's windpipe doesn't make you any less wrong, if you're wrong to begin with. Which he was. I do not concede the argument."

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~


Dapper_Swindler posted:

yeah. i like vader as villian in both EUs. he is big gently caress off power house who has enough dementions that writers can do various different types of stories with him.


i mean yeah basicaly. https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/An_Incident_Report#:~:text=%22An%20Incident%20Report%22%20is%20a,view%20of%20Conan%20Antonio%20Motti.

Do you think he felt foolish when Luke used the Force to blow up his technological terror?

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Sanguinia posted:

Do you think he felt foolish when Luke used the Force to blow up his technological terror?

If he's anything like Benny S., he gets off on being proven wrong.

And he got off'd when proven wrong.

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



i choose to believe that motti left the death star to go register a complaint in person on imperial center and had to watch his fascist FACTS and REASON empire collapse around him after he was reassigned to a poo poo posting for the rest of the war

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Jazerus posted:

i choose to believe that motti left the death star to go register a complaint in person on imperial center and had to watch his fascist FACTS and REASON empire collapse around him after he was reassigned to a poo poo posting for the rest of the war

Motti would go on to join the Galaxy Caller and challenge kindergarten graduates to defend the importance of "democracy" and "equal representation," and just DESTROY them with his arguments on how "democracy doesn't work."

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011



Anakin came into his own fighting across the galaxy in the Clone Wars, and then after he lost everything, a new pseudo-father figure taught him to harness his hate and pain to keep fighting and killing across the galaxy.

But when you're working for an evil backstabber who manipulated you into killing everything you ever cared about, that's gonna lead to a rocky working relationship. I think the IDW comic has a pretty neat take, although it sometimes goes a bit weird. It really manages to imply emotion under the mask while leaving a lot of ambiguity. Also in the latest comic he got dumped on a planet with three limbs cut off so that he had to rebuild himself out of salvaged droids.

Toph Bei Fong
Feb 29, 2008

You can't see me at all...



Regarde Aduck posted:

Shouldn't all life be connected to the force? Or are some thing just soulless?

There's these things, which "push back" the Force. Somehow.



https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ysalamir

Grand Admiral Thrawn was a big fan







So basically, if Thrawn ever appears without a lizardcat on his shoulders, you can be pretty sure that this is a non-canonal appearance

In other news, this was a fun find on Wikipedia, from back in 2005

quote:

Why I do not like Dark Empire

The following is profane and may contain spoilers, please read at your own risk:

I hate “Dark Empire”. I don't even like to consider it canon. When people mention things like Eclipse-Class Star Destroyers, I mention things like them shutting the gently caress up. Hmm, you want to know why? Ok, to start, I am an avid reader of Star Wars novels. I read basically everything published between The Thrawn Trilogy and The Unifying Force, which is an assload of books. Exception: The "Tales" books, just never got around to it and wasn't too interested Exception: Children of the Jedi was so bad I couldn’t finish it. For that reason, I didn't read Planet of Twilight. I also didn't read Crystal Star, fearing another woman author. However, note that the Han Solo Trilogy books, possibly the best of all SW novels, were written by a woman, so... eh. Anyway! I'm big on this stuff, ok? And books usually have to follow a pattern. A particular author can't get too caught up in himself. For the most parts, there would be an incident and it would be dealt with. Darksaber, Daala, the Yevetha thing, Thrawn, all were just big problems that the New Republic had to deal with. A writer would have to have a lot of guts to have Coruscant fall out of Republic hands. It happened in NJO, but that was part of a huge series. Imagine if the events of NJO had all happened in a single trilogy or something, wouldn't that have been ridiculous? So, isn't it ridiculous for an author (and I use the term loosely when referring to Tom Veitch, writer of “Dark Empire”) to claim that Coruscant has fallen from Republic Hands in his PROLOUGE? No, I'm not talking about this guy writing all of “Dark Empire” around Coruscant falling. Coruscant falling was simply included in his one page, 500 word prologue. The writer's retarded story required Coruscant to be Imperial, so he went ahead and decided that instead of actually doing anything to give his comics any merit, he'd just cover the huge military campaign in a few sentences. Ok, so this guy's a huge rear end in a top hat with no respect for Star Wars and a pretty big sense of himself. But fine. Corsucant fell. At least he probably won't do anything else crazy. Oh, except have the Emperor be cloned. And have Luke Skywalker turn to the Dark Side. And have numerous unprecedented large ships be built in little time out of nothing, because goddammit, Executer-class ships just weren't good enough. Oh, and also the World Devastators. And since one super weapon isn't enough (well, it was for “A New Hope”, but sure as gently caress not for this guy), also the Galaxy Gun. And did I mention those droids powered off of human brains or whatever the gently caress? My point is, for any ONE of the above things to have happened in a Star Wars book would have been pretty monumental, and this rear end in a top hat did all of it in, I poo poo you not, 14 comic books. So why did he have to keep coming up with new ridiculously tremendous plot elements to keep his FOURTEEN COMICS alive? Clearly, he's not much of a writer. Someone with any talent could have written that entire series about the World Devastators or whatever. This guy is one of those people who doesn’t know what foreplay is. I feel really bad for his wife. Though, actually, I guess not even nerdy girls would want him anyway, after writing such a pile of poo poo. Frankly, I'd like to think NO author with any respect for anything would have Luke turn to the Dark side. Oh, sure, the original Emperor and Luke's very father couldn't get him to turn when he was a weak learner, but now that he's a Jedi Master, I'm sure a clone of the Emperor could turn him in... hmm, how many comics did it take? Two, maybe, maximum. “Dark Empire” makes me sick. It's about as canon to me as Splinter of a Mind's Eye, the book that takes place after Episode IV where Darth Vader dies and Luke and Leia fall in passionate love. gently caress you, Tom Veitch. --Duckflesh 17:11, 17 September 2005 (UTC)

Star Wars. Star Wars never changes.

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



god drat i think i got terminal levels of 2005 poisoning from that post. any minute now i'll be calling something an "epic pwn"

karmicknight
Aug 21, 2011


I got as far is the stream of conscious misogyny followed by the half-stumble back before giving up. I take it the complaint is Dark Empire isn't completely derivative of the Star Wars source material because that is a bad thing somehow.

Cooked Auto
Aug 4, 2007

If you will not serve in combat, you will serve on the firing line!




Man, my eyes just glassed over that blob of text. Line breaks motherfucker, use them.

Toph Bei Fong
Feb 29, 2008

You can't see me at all...



karmicknight posted:

I got as far is the stream of conscious misogyny followed by the half-stumble back before giving up. I take it the complaint is Dark Empire isn't completely derivative of the Star Wars source material because that is a bad thing somehow.

Pretty much.

He's also mad that the series moves too quickly, has too much happen, and introduces too many ideas, many of which a different author could have gotten a whole book out of. Star Wars has a pattern, you see, of a bad thing being introduced, and then the heroes spend the duration of the story beating the singular bad thing, and then things go back to a normal equlibrium. Veitch, because he keeps coming up with new ideas and changing the status quo, rather than milking a single idea, is thus a bad author.

And, uh, some projection as well...

quote:

This guy is one of those people who doesn’t know what foreplay is. I feel really bad for his wife. Though, actually, I guess not even nerdy girls would want him anyway, after writing such a pile of poo poo.

Unfortunately for him, Dark Empire has some of the coolest artwork to come out of any Star Wars comics, and thus his argument was invalid before it even started. I wish more comics would use moody watercolors the way Cam Kennedy did









wdarkk
Oct 26, 2007

Friends: Protected
World: Saved
Crablettes: Eaten


There are so many cool spaceships in like random panels of Dark Empire that could have entire Star Wars movies about them.

SlothfulCobra
Mar 27, 2011



I was gonna say that the only thing in there I probably agreed with was the fact that trying to do too many ultra-massive superweapons one after the other sounds like bad pacing.

I haven't really read Dark Empire though, so I don't know. I suspect it has a lot of the issues that were pervasive throughout 90s comics.

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



superweapons in dark empire at least have the excuse that the writer knew some really rad artwork would come out of putting a bunch of superweapons in

which is more than you can say for kevin j anderson

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Toph Bei Fong
Feb 29, 2008

You can't see me at all...



I mean, it's not Shakespeare or anything, but it's a pretty fun Star Wars story if you just take it as is, rather than trying to slot it into a larger continuity. It's a bit like Splinter of the Mind's Eye, in that it was the creation of folks who didn't have much else to go by, and were just trying to tell a Star Wars like story (you pretty much had SotME, the Han and Lando novels, and the Marvel and newspaper comics outside of the movies), before there was an established modern template for what a Star Wars story should look and read like. They started work on it back in 1988, so pre-Timothy Zahn even. As far as they knew, this whole thing could flop and there wouldn't be any novels or comics coming after it, which I think also informs some of the decisions made in the writing.

On a related topic, comics in general have a thing where, if you have a good artist, the temptation is to have them draw as many cool things as possible. Which, you know, taking advantage of strengths the medium, that's a good thing. But it does tend to lead to overstuffed stories. Like, every time Batman gets a hot artist, well, this person won't be drawing the comic forever, so we need to have them draw all the cool villains and gadgets before they leave, even if it doesn't really make the story better to cram them in there.

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