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Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






shouldve been a weird golem made of death star reactor energy powering up a dark side ghost, wrapped in chunks of debris from the death star

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cirus
Apr 5, 2011


Squizzle posted:

shouldve been a weird golem made of death star reactor energy powering up a dark side ghost, wrapped in chunks of debris from the death star

This would have ruled.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


Star Wars: Episode 10: Attack of the Clones 2: Army of Sheevs

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

I mean I doubt that the actual DS2 reactor vented directly into Sheev's throne room, that would be a massive OSHA violation.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


So..... Palpatine had a false reactor core installed in his office?

Flavius Aetass
Mar 30, 2011





Mooey Cow posted:

I mean I doubt that the actual DS2 reactor vented directly into Sheev's throne room, that would be a massive OSHA violation.

have you seen the walkways on death stars

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



it probably wasnt a throne room it was a room with a nice view that they moved a revolving chair into

Emrikol
Sep 30, 2015


Palpatine doubtless demanded a front-row seat for all that power.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

He falls for like 7 seconds or something before exploding, which probably isn't enough to even reach the bottom of that big tower he lives in.

Guy A. Person
May 23, 2003



I will be the first to admit I was talking right out of my rear end when i said he got thrown into the core but I also didn't expect that to be the takeaway

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



He gets thrown into something that has no business being uncovered, let alone in a throne room.

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






ItBreathes posted:

He gets thrown into something that has no business being uncovered, let alone in a throne room.

yeah

my rear end

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






im sorry im sorry

that was rude

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






not inaccurate

but neither the time nor place to be saying that

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



Squizzle posted:

not inaccurate

but neither the time nor place to be saying that

No, no, it was both insightful and completely accurate.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




reignofevil posted:

So..... Palpatine had a false reactor core installed in his office?

Surprise, it was a teleporter. He didnít explode at the end of Jedi, it was an emergency beam out to the surface of Endor and he had to hoof it on foot to the nearest shuttle and hope he didnít run into any Ewoks or Han and Leia before he got there.

Cease to Hope
Dec 12, 2011
the forum where people post about insurance in case they have to kill someone is mad at this guy again lol

nine-gear crow posted:

Surprise, it was a teleporter.

So you're saying he did die and he's a clone in TROS

Noob Saibot
Jan 29, 2020


Guy A. Person posted:

It could've actually been a decent plot to have the failing clone be the specific reason why Palpatine needed to seek out his progeny that he previously didn't give a poo poo about. Like his DNA had become unviable through weird experimentation or something and all the clones came out badly deformed and aged to dust within months or something.

But yeah that's just flat out not what's in the movie, you don't fuckin' clone someone as a crumbling old man puppet on purpose, and cloning has been established not to work like that in Star Wars. It makes an already insanely dumb plot even dumber to "fix" one aspect (Sheev being thrown into the core of a space station that was vaporized 5 minutes later) that was the least stupid part.

This was eleborated more in the comic the movie was based on, dark empire

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

Cease to Hope posted:

So you're saying he did die and he's a clone in TROS

It's just as Disney said

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




loving lol that disney is having to clarify major plot points in tweets

Cease to Hope
Dec 12, 2011
the forum where people post about insurance in case they have to kill someone is mad at this guy again lol

Ghost Leviathan posted:

loving lol that disney is having to clarify major plot points in tweets

nah, that's just a notorious clickbait site. it's in the novelization, just like every confusing or unclear plot point from the prequels

ungulateman
Apr 18, 2012
Hello I am a person doing a thing via buttons. It's amazing what electronic singnals traveling through space can accomplish.

Makes ya think.

Purple m&ms are the best.

Cease to Hope posted:

nah, that's just a notorious clickbait site. it's in the novelization, just like every confusing or unclear plot point from the prequels

Nah those are all in the tv show when they're padding space between the good episodes

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



People have gotten leaked copies of the novelization and according to that Sheev did NOT do a gently caress and Rey's dad was also a clone (that somehow ended up with no force powers or looked anything like Sheev.)

Guy A. Person
May 23, 2003



Lmfao this literally gets stupider by the second

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.



When will the story be told?

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



muscles like this! posted:

People have gotten leaked copies of the novelization and according to that Sheev did NOT do a gently caress and Rey's dad was also a clone (that somehow ended up with no force powers or looked anything like Sheev.)

seriously, ive been having a great time since the episode 9 leaks were coming out and now its ruined

Barudak
May 7, 2007



FunkyAl posted:


When will the story be told?

<gestures to a bin filled with 10 dollar paperbacks> dive in buddy, its in there somewhere

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004





Is twitter just going to be the new EU where every single character ever on screen for more than 4 frames will end up having their own story tied to either the FO or the Resistance?

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Yes

Noob Saibot
Jan 29, 2020


So wait snoke and reys dad are both clones of Palpatine? Why do they look wildly different from him and why is cloning all of a sudden some super complex and forbidden thing in the Star Wars universe than only Sith magicians dabble in?

Like are the prequels even canon anymore? Cloning is a well known and old tech in the Star Wars universe and also there are only supposed to be 2 Sith at a time not a whole planet of them doing cloning experiments and building super weapon equipped Star destroyer fleets

What the gently caress happened to that story group that was supposedly in place to keep everything consistent

Cease to Hope
Dec 12, 2011
the forum where people post about insurance in case they have to kill someone is mad at this guy again lol

All of this ScreenRant clickbait is taken from a leaked copy of the TROS novelization.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




FunkyAl posted:


When will the story be told?

Here you go, kid. Fill your boots.

I'm more or less serious. JJ's first draft of TFA began with Luke's severed hand, still clutching the lightsaber drifting through space for no reason, and I think that's how The Glove of Darth Vader opens as well, only with, as you might expect, the Glove of Darth Vader rather than Luke's Hand.


The Sequel Trilogy is just a big budget and even sloppier adaptation of the Jedi Prince young readers book series.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

muscles like this! posted:

People have gotten leaked copies of the novelization and according to that Sheev did NOT do a gently caress and Rey's dad was also a clone (that somehow ended up with no force powers or looked anything like Sheev.)

Disney agitprop. Don't believe the lies! Sheev most definitely did a gently caress upon a person or some kind of space person.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Disney needs to give the people what they want, Full Frontal Sith

Saint Drogo
Dec 26, 2011



FunkyAl posted:


When will the story be told?
nvm the lightsabre, remember when we thought this character would have reasons to exist?

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Saint Drogo posted:

nvm the lightsabre, remember when we thought this character would have reasons to exist?

Shes in all 3 films too. Its great

dordreff
Jul 16, 2013


the "rey's dad is a clone" leak is just disney propaganda to stop you realising that the weird prune woman is rey's grandma and she looks like that because sheev's cum has the same transformative effect as his lightning

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

It could be that the lightning is cum

After all:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9aPta_LajU#t=64s

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008






https://mobile.twitter.com/jjdonkey/status/1235548410360614912

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cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



if sheevs son is a clone of him and sheevs son fucks does that mean that sheev by extension also fucks? come on guys you have to give me this one

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