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Grendels Dad
Mar 5, 2011

Popular culture has passed you by.

Should have gone with the Vuvuzela Vongs, or whatever they are called. Opening crawl telling us that there has been peace and boredom for 30 years and now BAM Force-eating Cenobites from the outest of outer space.

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Up Circle
Apr 3, 2008


Grendels Dad posted:

Should have gone with the Vuvuzela Vongs, or whatever they are called. Opening crawl telling us that there has been peace and boredom for 30 years and now BAM Force-eating Cenobites from the outest of outer space.

Call them the merg horde, led by the monarch of knives

GokuGoesSSJ3
Apr 15, 2017

And this is to go even further beyond!

They should've coped the several times in the eu has said "oh those guys were cosplayers, the REAL sith have been secretly rebuilding on planets no one has ever heard of, and now they want REVENGE".

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



Wasn't that just RotS?

Come to think of it, didn't palpyboy come back to life like multiple times in the EU?

dialhforhero
Apr 3, 2008


Yeah he was cloned of course. A whole trilogy was spawned iirc.

GokuGoesSSJ3
Apr 15, 2017

And this is to go even further beyond!

I'm saying it's revealed palpatine and his branch of sith were the cosplayers. Like his master or someone before them stumbled onto some sith knowledge and started calling themselves that, all the while the real sith were hiding way off in space somewhere. I think this is basically kotor 3 but I haven't played that. It also happens a few other times way back in the eu history I think.

GokuGoesSSJ3 fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Jun 25, 2020

Robot Style
Jul 5, 2009



GokuGoesSSJ3 posted:

I'm saying it's revealed palpatine and his branch of sith were the cosplayers. Like his master or someone before them stumbled onto some sith knowledge and started calling themselves that, all the while the real sith were hiding way off in space somewhere.

This is essentially true. Palpatine's group is the result of a bunch of different people finding Sith artifacts from the previous Star Wars and and forming different Sith factions that went to war with each other. Darth Bane, the last Sith left standing, created the Rule of Two, which lasted for 1000 years until we get to Palpatine. Rise of Skywalker actually introduced an interesting implication, that the being known as Palpatine is actually still Darth Bane, and has been jumping bodies for the past millennium every time an apprentice gets strong enough to kill their master.

GokuGoesSSJ3 posted:

I think this is basically kotor 3 but I haven't played that. It also happens a few other times way back in the eu history I think.

Yeah, it's happened a few times. Revan and Malak, the Sith Lords from the first KOTOR, supposedly discovered the "true" Sith hiding somewhere, and then started their conquest of the galaxy in order to fortify the Republic against them. The Old Republic, which you mentioned, is about those Sith finally returning attack the Republic 300 years later. In one of the expansions, they even introduced a second secret Sith society that forced the regular hidden Sith to team up with the Republic.

There was also the Lost Tribe of the Sith, who reappeared 40 years after the movies after building a society on a planet they crashed on 5000 years earlier. They also did the "team up with the Jedi to fight a bigger enemy" thing when they had to fight an entity called Ableoth, who was the mother of the family introduced in the Mortis arc of Clone Wars.

The Yuuzhan Vong were also supposedly pitched as exiled Sith returning to the galaxy to conquer it, but the idea was nixed.

There's probably more, and there are a bunch of smaller Dark Side cults that are the result of some ancient Sith Lord branching off and doing their own thing under the radar until they become a big enough problem for the Jedi to deal with.

ArfJason
Sep 5, 2011
Probation
Can't post for 39 minutes!


ZeusJupitar
Jul 7, 2009


Robot Style posted:

This is essentially true. Palpatine's group is the result of a bunch of different people finding Sith artifacts from the previous Star Wars and and forming different Sith factions that went to war with each other. Darth Bane, the last Sith left standing, created the Rule of Two, which lasted for 1000 years until we get to Palpatine. Rise of Skywalker actually introduced an interesting implication, that the being known as Palpatine is actually still Darth Bane, and has been jumping bodies for the past millennium every time an apprentice gets strong enough to kill their master.


Yeah, it's happened a few times. Revan and Malak, the Sith Lords from the first KOTOR, supposedly discovered the "true" Sith hiding somewhere, and then started their conquest of the galaxy in order to fortify the Republic against them.


Does TOR ever explain a) why they didn't just tell the Republic about The True Sith or b) why they took to calling themselves Sith?

Robot Style
Jul 5, 2009



It looks like one of the TOR tie-in novels retconned some of it, so there's two separate reasons:

The one presented in the first two KOTOR games is that after Revan won a galaxy-wide war against the Mandalorians, he found some old Sith lore that was on the edge of the still-active Sith Empire, and realized that the Republic wasn't ready to fight them(they'd just barely won a war against the Mandalorians, which themselves are implied to have been set-up by the True Sith), so he sacrificed himself to the Dark Side in order to get enough power to fight them, and began his conquest of the galaxy using tech leftover from an ancient precursor race.

The TOR retcon is that Revan and Malak went into the Sith Empire after winning the Mandalorian war, and then got brainwashed by the big bad of the MMO into being an evil guy.

OtherworldlyInvader
Feb 10, 2005

The X-COM project did not deliver the universe's ultimate cup of coffee. You have failed to save the Earth.




I thought Kylo Ren was the perfect villain for a sequel trilogy, and maybe the best villain in all of star wars.

Alienated young men with serious anger management problems, weird inferiority complexes, large collections of lethal toys, and who spend their days wallowing in homicidal ideation are a defining problem of our time. A person with a fanatical devotion to the OT in all the wrong ways, fixated on it's most surface level elements like "star destroyers cool!!" while failing to understand what the story is trying to tell you is a scathing critique of the worst elements of fandom, something Star Wars played a huge role in inventing. Kylo Ren's failure to live up to the legend of Darth Vader paradoxically makes him the true heir of his grandfather without him ever realizing it: A pitiable figure who's made all the wrong choices, who hates himself and the monster he's turned himself into, who's driven away everyone in his life who ever cared about him.

Adam Driver is perfectly cast for the role, the moment he takes off his mask for the first time in TFA is such a shocking "letdown" most audiences in theater verbally reacted to it, its absolutely perfect. He's not the hollywood mangled monster or grizzled villain you expected, he's a nerdy kid cosplaying at being a Sith lord. Driver delivers a phenomenal performance in every scene he's in.

Its an incredible shame the movies he's in aren't very good.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




Has come up elsewhere that while so many villains are visually and/or thematically based on Darth Vader, Kylo Ren is a case of someone for whom Darth Vader is a real person and historical figure that's more or less Space Hitler.

Although in practice the films completely fall down at any actual critique of the toxic fandom (and remember Rey is also explicitly portrayed as a 'fan' who lives in an old Star Destroyer and wears an X-Wing helmet) due to being completely unable to engage with even analogies for material realities.

Cease to Hope
Dec 12, 2011
the forum where people post about insurance in case they have to kill someone is mad at this guy again lol

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Has come up elsewhere that while so many villains are visually and/or thematically based on Darth Vader, Kylo Ren is a case of someone for whom Darth Vader is a real person and historical figure that's more or less Space Hitler.

I don't think this lands because Star Wars, particularly in the prequels and sequels, interlinks everything so tightly that all interactions feel like family drama.

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



Cease to Hope posted:

I don't think this lands because Star Wars, particularly in the prequels and sequels, interlinks everything so tightly that all interactions feel like family drama.

I mean, Vader is his grandfather and all...

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Ghost Leviathan posted:

Has come up elsewhere that while so many villains are visually and/or thematically based on Darth Vader, Kylo Ren is a case of someone for whom Darth Vader is a real person and historical figure that's more or less Space Hitler.

Although in practice the films completely fall down at any actual critique of the toxic fandom (and remember Rey is also explicitly portrayed as a 'fan' who lives in an old Star Destroyer and wears an X-Wing helmet) due to being completely unable to engage with even analogies for material realities.

JJ Abrams only understands stories based on the props. Like, if you look at what he did with Star Trek 2009, there is zero understanding behind what makes Star Trek "Star Trek." It's not an action franchise with switchblade katanas or base jumping Starfleet officers. It's about the human condition, ranging from our greatest virtues to our ugliest failings. However, that's not as flashy as a starship salt shaker, flip phasers, or hoverbikes. Of course Star Wars would just fetishize the old poo poo, including digging up Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber.

Some Goon posted:

I mean, Vader is his grandfather and all...

If only the ST thought to include a Force Ghost Anakin talking sense into Ben Solo. You know, include a scene that actually dealt with the family drama.

Cease to Hope
Dec 12, 2011
the forum where people post about insurance in case they have to kill someone is mad at this guy again lol

Some Goon posted:

I mean, Vader is his grandfather and all...

That would be a good example of the tight interlinks that end up making every interation feel like there's no distinction between interactions between relatives and interactions between everyone else.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


Cease to Hope posted:

That would be a good example of the tight interlinks that end up making every interation feel like there's no distinction between interactions between relatives and interactions between everyone else.

Well, we ARE all one in the arms of the living force

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


If only Disney had gone forward with George's midichlorian adventure, then we'd know how that would apply.

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


Remember when Luke promised to haunt Kylo, and then in the next movie he caught a lightsaber and raised an x-wing

David D. Davidson
Nov 17, 2012

Orca lady?

Zoran posted:

Remember when Luke promised to haunt Kylo, and then in the next movie he caught a lightsaber and raised an x-wing

Yeah one of my ideas for how a follow up to TLJ should go involves Luke's focre ghost haunting Kylo and just repeatedly dunking on him for being a loving loser throughout the movie.

PeterWeller
Apr 20, 2003

I told you that story so I could tell you this one.



Dropping that great setup and all its potential annoyed me even more than Rey Palpatine.

AdmiralViscen
Nov 2, 2011




I seriously canít believe how bad that movie is. I even had some fun with Solo

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017


Quoth James Cameron,

"Nevermore"



finn and lando's estranged daughter lead a cavalry charge

TremorX
Jan 19, 2001

All Hail Big Hairy Mike



Edgar Allen Ho posted:

finn and lando's estranged daughter lead a cavalry charge

on top of a space ship on the lightning planet to take down a 5G tower

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




I love how Billy Dee Williamsí swag was so unstoppable it accidentally comes across like Lando was hitting on his own daughter.

ungulateman
Apr 18, 2012
Hello I am a person doing a thing via buttons. It's amazing what electronic singnals traveling through space can accomplish.

Makes ya think.

Purple m&ms are the best.

Rey Shadow Legends

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




I'm still glad I watched Cats instead

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Ghost Leviathan posted:

I'm still glad I watched Cats instead

Asgerd
May 6, 2012






Grimey Drawer

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I'm still glad I watched Cats instead

Thanks to covid-19, Cats is the last movie I saw in the theatre

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Sadly the last movie I watched was Rise of the Skywalker and I feel like thats the right film to bury the concept of movies with.

The end of that film, and I'm talking the Lars homestead piece, is one of the absolute most embarrassing filmed sequences Ive seen from a film.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Barudak posted:

Sadly the last movie I watched was Rise of the Skywalker and I feel like thats the right film to bury the concept of movies with.

The end of that film, and I'm talking the Lars homestead piece, is one of the absolute most embarrassing filmed sequences Ive seen from a film.

Same for me. Pre-COVID, I rarely went to the theatre anymore except for movies I felt were worth watching on a giant screen, usually big dumb spectacle movies like Marvel films, animated features, Fast and Furious, and of course Star Wars movies. I left Rise of Skywalker looking and feeling something approaching Rich Evans On The Sofa level worn out emotionally and physically and just a level of "done" with poo poo that I've never felt before after watching a movie.

So yeah it was quite poetic that it was and probably will be the last movie I ever watched in a theatre

grassy gnoll
Aug 27, 2006

The pawsting business is tough work.

Last movie I saw in a theater was Knives Out, and it was pretty good! They should get the guy who did that one to do a Star Wars sometime.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


grassy gnoll posted:

Last movie I saw in a theater was Knives Out, and it was pretty good! They should get the guy who did that one to do a Star Wars sometime.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Lmao





What the gently caress even is this poo poo



nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Bogus Adventure posted:

Lmao





What the gently caress even is this poo poo





ROS is a cacophony of noise from start to finish slowing down literally only to go "Rey, Palpatine his your grandfather. He totally hosed." and then giving you just enough time to sigh exasperatedly at the revelation before it's back to

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


nine-gear crow posted:

ROS is a cacophony of noise from start to finish slowing down literally only to go "Rey, Palpatine his your grandfather. He totally hosed." and then giving you just enough time to sigh exasperatedly at the revelation before it's back to



The little bits I've seen and the reviews I've read makes it sound like one of those anime series where they realize they aren't getting renewed and need to jam-pack the rest of the show in the final three episodes.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Bogus Adventure posted:

The little bits I've seen and the reviews I've read makes it sound like one of those anime series where they realize they aren't getting renewed and need to jam-pack the rest of the show in the final three episodes.

The first 30 minutes is JJ making his own own version of Episode VIII try and wallpaper over The Last Jedi both for his own sake and for the sake of the angry nerds he was trying to appease, leaving him only 60 minutes to try and tell 2 hours worth of story for the actual Episode IX.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Episode 9 starts by holding a bluray copy of Episode 8 and throwing it directly into the trash then starts a story so bad it, and this is not a joke, ends by burying star wars in a shallow grave.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Barudak posted:

Episode 9 starts by holding a bluray copy of Episode 8 and throwing it directly into the trash then starts a story so bad it, and this is not a joke, ends by burying star wars in a shallow grave.

"I'm Rey..." [looks to the ghostly figures on the horizon] "Rey Star Wars Reference."

[smash cut to credits]

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Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


Barudak posted:

Episode 9 starts by holding a bluray copy of Episode 8 and throwing it directly into the trash then starts a story so bad it, and this is not a joke, ends by burying star wars in a shallow grave.

This image made me laugh out loud IRL

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