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goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

in soviet russia, you shove robot

He needs his own cooking show. “Getting Baked With Bobby.”

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luxury handset
Jan 24, 2018

THE DEM DEFENDER HAS LOGGED ON


yeah the real business model is just filming robert pattinson going wild in the kitchen

Canned Panda
Jul 10, 2012






PirateDentist
Mar 28, 2006

Sailing The Seven Seas Searching For Scurvy

canepazzo posted:

I'd watch the hell out of this movie.

For sure. I really want to hear this story from the perspective of the cook now.

Mak0rz
Aug 2, 2008



https://twitter.com/illestkhanate/s...899224432553984

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

Man-oh-man, Cowboy looks like a bag of leftovers from a V.F.W. barbecue. Of
course, I've got nothing against dead people. Why, some of my best friends are dead

first things first, you've gotta microwave some pasta

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006




Soiled Meat


Wow, all dogs really are boys and all cats really are girls.

Darkhold
Feb 19, 2011

No Heart
No Soul
No Service

Retro idiots in media:
https://twitter.com/ChemistryKit/st...134217616371712

Guilty
May 3, 2003
Ask me about how people having a bad reaction to MSG makes them racist, because I've never heard of gluten sensitivity


kinda surprised they contacted her directly instead of the husband first.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!


https://twitter.com/cyaws/status/1260238750044450816

Stoatbringer
Sep 15, 2004

naw, you love it
you little ho-bot


I didn't realise "British Wife" was a category.

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.



https://twitter.com/g1elmo3000/stat...8303391744?s=21

Regalingualius
Jan 6, 2012



I need a link to the post, because I can’t find it.

on the bored wop
Apr 20, 2004

A little cross-country, gentlemen?



Tortured By Flan

Regalingualius posted:

I need a link to the post, because I can’t find it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationsh...ng_into_fights/

Regalingualius
Jan 6, 2012



Thanks!

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!




it was very popular in the r/relationships thread

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.




I am terrified, terrified by how distasteful men find the concept of women's consent!

OhAreThey
Oct 12, 2012

I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

Push El Burrito posted:

Everything I read about Robert Pattinson just makes me more of a fan of Robert Pattinson.

One More Fat Nerd
Apr 13, 2007
no neckbeard, though.



Nap Ghost

there wolf posted:

He is going to leave her for that Waffle House cook.

I'm glad I'm not the only one reading sexual tension into that story lol.

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

in soviet russia, you shove robot

One More Fat Nerd posted:

I'm glad I'm not the only one reading sexual tension into that story lol.

They’re gonna do that soap opera thing where they slap each other and start making out, except with handfuls of eggs.

Elviscat
Jan 1, 2008

High Energy, Good Feeling!




I really hope that Waffle House Chef tracks them down when they move, relentlessly creating new egg dishes that are not slightly runny, a Javert to the Husband's ValJean, relentlessly stalking him and denying his quest to find suitable breakfast foods for evening consumption, and getting in minor fisticuffs over it.

E: or like this https://youtu.be/Q_IYrltqYrU

Elviscat has a new favorite as of 19:02 on May 12, 2020

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.



And must I now allow this man
to hold dominion over me?
This desperate diner I have hunted
I gave him his eggs
I made not runny

Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!




ONE EGG MOOOORE

Lemniscate Blue
Apr 21, 2006

Here we go again.

Yellow! The yolk of eggs paaaaast!

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.



From the kitchen at the diner
I could hear an oath be sworn
and we rose with fists a-swinging

And I can see them now
the very eggs that I'd ordered
became my last Communion...
at a lonely Waffle House... at Dawn...

There's a grief that can't be spoken
there's a pain goes on and on
Empty shells at empty griddles
now my yolks will never run

Phy
Jun 27, 2008





Fun Shoe

There
Out in the front side
A customer fuming
Fallen from God
Mouth full of grease
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till I punch in his face
Till I punch in his face

He wants his wee runny yolk
Mine is the way of eggs, hard
And those who follow the path of the hard-boiled
Shall have their reward
And if you deign, to complain, to the chef
Then fiiight, en garde

Eggs
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling our breakfasts
With yellow and white
You are the omelettes
Scrambled and fried
Filling our bellies tight
Filling our bellies tight

You know your place on the plate
You are of course a grade A
And each with your flavor return and return
And are always the same
And if you fall, as Sir Humpty fell,
You crack, and breeeaak

And so it must be! For so it is written!
On the doorways to Wafflehouse
That those who order a runny egg
Will shame their spouse!

Lord, let me find him!
That I might kick him
With both my legs!
I will never rest, till then! This I swear!
THIS I SWEAR BY MY EGGS!

cptn_dr
Sep 7, 2011

Seven for beauty that blossoms and dies



Chef at Waffle House, cookin' for these two,
Ready to fix them up a meal or two
Overcooking eggs, ruining up their date
Wrestling with the boyfriend coz he can't see straight
Everybody loves eating breakfast
Everybody's happy place,
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I feed 'em in the end!

cptn_dr has a new favorite as of 20:59 on May 12, 2020

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



Is a man not entitled to the runniness of his eggs?

No, says the man at the Waffle House, it belongs to my whims.

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

The chef is just deliberately gaslighting the guy by slightly loving up his eggs in a different way every time.

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017
Probation
Can't post for 9 days!


Phy posted:

There
Out in the front side
A customer fuming
Fallen from God
Mouth full of grease
God be my witness
I never shall yield
Till I punch in his face
Till I punch in his face

He wants his wee runny yolk
Mine is the way of eggs, hard
And those who follow the path of the hard-boiled
Shall have their reward
And if you deign, to complain, to the chef
Then fiiight, en garde

Eggs
In your multitudes
Scarce to be counted
Filling our breakfasts
With yellow and white
You are the omelettes
Scrambled and fried
Filling our bellies tight
Filling our bellies tight

You know your place on the plate
You are of course a grade A
And each with your flavor return and return
And are always the same
And if you fall, as Sir Humpty fell,
You crack, and breeeaak

And so it must be! For so it is written!
On the doorways to Wafflehouse
That those who order a runny egg
Will shame their spouse!

Lord, let me find him!
That I might kick him
With both my legs!
I will never rest, till then! This I swear!
THIS I SWEAR BY MY EGGS!

This is good. I can see myself singing this.

PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017





Truth, Justice, and a Runny-Yolked Egg.

Lemniscate Blue
Apr 21, 2006

Here we go again.

PetraCore posted:

Truth, Justice, and a Runny-Yolked Egg.

And reasonably-priced fistfights?

there wolf
Jan 11, 2015

I got sick of seeing a good poster with TRUMP LOVER so enjoy this thing instead.





Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

This is good. I can see myself singing this.

You mean you didn't sing it and every other one in your head as you read them?

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017
Probation
Can't post for 9 days!


there wolf posted:

You mean you didn't sing it and every other one in your head as you read them?

I’m just waking up, my voice is still cracking.

MizPiz
May 29, 2013

by Athanatos


Idiot or pro-tier poster?

https://twitter.com/swankysilkworm/...9506027526?s=19

Son of Thunderbeast
Sep 21, 2002

Hey, Adora.





e: grabbed the wrong reply at first

https://twitter.com/prettielani/sta...049154614734851

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012



College Slice

It should be obvious who the idiot is here:

https://mobile.twitter.com/M_Nikki_...333919804817411

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

I'm the babyliberal, gotta love me!


https://twitter.com/rr_reno/status/1260391014730272768

Killing our parents to own the libs.

Punkin Spunkin
Jan 1, 2010

Catching up to god quicker



The "Moral Majority", 2020: KILL YOUR loving PARENTS

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Volcott
Mar 30, 2010

People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

What is a moral monster, exactly? Someone so moral it's monstrous?

Like some kind of... good... person?

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