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sorting hat wasnt fooling when it was like "wow harry you'd be real good in nazi house"
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Apr 10, 2022 03:56
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Voldemort probably could’ve gotten Harry on side if he just hadn’t tried to murder him
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Apr 10, 2022 04:49
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so did joanne name the qilin something as bad as cho chang or what
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Apr 10, 2022 04:52
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So how did they break Dumbledore and Grindelwald's
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Apr 10, 2022 05:25
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amigolupus posted:So how did they break Dumbledore and Grindelwald's Grindlewald tries to kill someone and Dumbledore protects them which finally breaks the vial because MAGIC
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Apr 10, 2022 05:39
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RoboChrist 9000 posted:They werne't just local fascists. Like Lucius was, if I recall, Voldemort's right-hand man or at least inner circle even during the first war. Yeah, Operation Paperclip and stuff and lots of Nazis got away with their crimes, but that was usually because the Nazis were somehow in possession of unique talents or something that made nations see them as a valuable asset. Lucius turned state's evidence after the first war, so it makes sense the Malfoys would get away with it then, but after the second war? Lmao. Even with how nothing meaningful changed and how lovely liberals are - and realistically Rowling captures that - I still feel like the Malfoys would have explicitly been made an example of considering that this time around they had nothing useful to provide the state and are second time offenders. Canada literally had a Paperclip specifically for SS officers and concentration camp guards because the Ukraine diasporia was leaning too far left It has been questioned whether the fascists actually lost WW2
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Apr 10, 2022 06:49
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Draco remaining a rich eccentric is basically Albert Speer Jr getting to design that world cup stadium.
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Apr 10, 2022 07:30
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Draco's a kid and Harry's a dumb enough idiot and cryptofascist that I can see him going to bat for him. But it's more Lucius I find it hard to believe that he would not be at the very least basically soft exiled and cut out of society as a pariah. Like dude was Hitler's right-hand man twice and the second time around didn't have the option of turning state's evidence as an out.
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Apr 10, 2022 08:38
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Rotten Red Rod posted:Grindlewald tries to kill someone and Dumbledore protects them which finally breaks the vial because MAGIC So basically a variation of what Harry's mom did?  They really wanted you to think Dumbledore was the coolest guy who ever lived.RoboChrist 9000 posted:Draco's a kid and Harry's a dumb enough idiot and cryptofascist that I can see him going to bat for him. But it's more Lucius I find it hard to believe that he would not be at the very least basically soft exiled and cut out of society as a pariah. B-b-b-but he was Voldemort's disgraced right hand man and Voldy became so mean to him after that botched prophecy job! He was so s-s-scared for his and his family's life! 
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Apr 10, 2022 09:00
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we need a strong Slytherin house, Malfoy's a good man not like these Death Eaters
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Apr 10, 2022 09:50
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the hilarious part is that adult Malfoy is genuinely a way better dude than Harry. Draco shows up to be like "Harry poo poo gently caress our two sons who are boyfriends are missing from school, we gotta do something, I sure love my son" and then as soon as Ginny leaves the room Harry goes "oh yeah my poo poo nerd son, never liked him anyway" and starts a duel. Harry you are a loving rear end in a top hat.
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Apr 10, 2022 11:18
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Apr 10, 2022 11:24
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Zoran posted:Voldemort probably could’ve gotten Harry on side if he just hadn’t tried to murder him Nah Voldemort looked real iffy which is the number one requirement of a baddie in JK brain.
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Apr 10, 2022 12:14
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:the hilarious part is that adult Malfoy is genuinely a way better dude than Harry. Nahhhh, it’s just that all his bad fathering happens off screen and Scorpius doesn’t incessantly whine about it like Albus. It’s made pretty clear that while Draco is willing to throw money and influence around to try and get the newspaper to print “Draco Malfoy wasn’t cucked by the Dark Lord CONFIRMED” that he and Scorpius have such a strained relationship that they do the awkward Step Brothers “I don’t know what hugging is” bit at the end of the play.
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Apr 10, 2022 13:48
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BigglesSWE posted:Nah Voldemort looked real iffy which is the number one requirement of a baddie in JK brain. He started off very attractive (bad) and through evil became very ugly (bad). Only slightly above average people are permissable.
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Apr 10, 2022 14:53
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At the end of OotP Voldy wants to get his hands on the prophecy. This prophecy is the most important thing to him, it was the whole impetus for him trying to kill Harry in the first place and he's convinced hearing the whole thing will explain why he keeps getting his poo poo pushed in when he tries to kill Harry. So he sends his absolute best tip top troops led by Lucius to go get it: failure is not an option. But not only does Lucius fail because of his own idiocy, the prophecy gets permanently destroyed and he can't even beat the asses of a group of 14-15 year olds before the Order shows up in force and he has to retreat. This is such a monumentally colossal fuckup that even "nothing is worse than death" Voldemort is all "nah I'm gonna torture this piece of poo poo and his family for this." So he sets himself up in Malfoy manor - implicitly taking the family hostage - and tells Draco "if you can't prove you're less worthless than your old man then your whole family gets it. Now, go kill Dumbledore for me." Draco is obviously being set up to fail, and this is all part of an elaborate plan to force Lucius to watch his son get killed or imprisoned before Voldemort laughs and kills him too. By the time Harry shows up at Malfoy manor in DH, Lucius and Draco are both basically completely defeated shells, doing whatever they can to hold out for the slimmest hope of the family somehow making it out alive. So that's a lot of words, what am I getting at? Well, while that is something of an unfortunate twist in the story for the Malfoys and you can squint and feel some sympathy for them - particularly Draco who gets thrown into the deep end - but... all that poo poo is still Lucius' fault. Not just because he hosed up, but because he spent his life as a piece of poo poo nazi who cozied up to Hitler and then was shocked, absolutely shocked when Hitler threw him under the bus because he'd lost his use. You could say that Lucius hosed around and found out. That he just gets to walk with no consequences because "well he loved his family in the end, and isn't that what's important?" is just beyond loving stupid.
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Apr 10, 2022 15:17
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If Voldemort came back and wanted to gently caress Draco’s wife Lucius would immediately help him.
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Apr 10, 2022 15:45
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RoboChrist 9000 posted:Lucius turned state's evidence after the first war A few people have mentioned this detail, but it's not actually true. Karkaroff turned state's evidence after the first war, but Lucius didn't; he just falsely claimed he was under the Imperius and bribed a bunch of people to acquit him. I never realized before that Lucius got off after the second war too, since I didn't follow the expanded universe stuff, but here's how the fandom wiki describes it: quote:By the time of the Battle of Hogwarts, Lucius showed that he was more concerned with his son's safety than Voldemort's cause, begging to be permitted to find him when the fighting began. Narcissa lied directly to Voldemort for Harry's sake when he informed her that Draco was still alive, and she and Lucius ran through the crowd, "not even attempting to fight, screaming for their son". So, uh, he turned state's evidence against people who had their guilt physically tattooed on their body and also he sat out a single battle in the war because he was busy with family issues, and that makes up for him being Heinrich Himmler twice over? HIJK posted:Is the Malfoy family getting away with everything based off real British history of nothing happening to Nazi lovers in the landed gentry or is it another symptom of j/k rowling's weird brain Lucius getting off isn't like a British gentry Nazi lover getting off, it's like Joseph Goebbels getting off. It's absolutely not based on anything, and considering that the ending has the narrator approve it by objectively insisting "all was well" it's definitely a symptom of her brainworms. Lottery of Babylon fucked around with this message at 19:17 on Apr 10, 2022 |
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Apr 10, 2022 17:41
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Lottery of Babylon posted:So, uh, he turned state's evidence against people who had their guilt physically tattooed on their body and also he sat out a single battle in the war because he was busy with family issues, and that makes up for him being Heinrich Himmler twice over? He called trucies before the official cutoff so the government's hands were tied
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Apr 10, 2022 18:37
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Oh poo poo LOB I miss all your crazy non-quoted posts in the Idiots in SM thread. It’s kind of weird seeing *you* post but good for you bud.
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Apr 10, 2022 19:25
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Lottery of Babylon posted:Lucius getting off isn't like a British gentry Nazi lover getting off, it's like Joseph Goebbels getting off. It's absolutely not based on anything, and considering that the ending has the narrator approve it by objectively insisting "all was well" it's definitely a symptom of her brainworms. 
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Apr 10, 2022 21:42
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Lottery of Babylon posted:A few people have mentioned this detail, but it's not actually true. Karkaroff turned state's evidence after the first war, but Lucius didn't; he just falsely claimed he was under the Imperius and bribed a bunch of people to acquit him. Hooollllyyy poo poo. I only really inferred Lucius got off and kept his money because he’s mentioned as funding the custom time tuner in Cursed Child. I kind of assumed it was an oversight and not that it had been officially explained. Yea I can see Narcisa getting off for literally saving Potter’s life, that’s a fairly big deal. And including Draco in that deal plus consideration for him being a coerced minor makes some sense. Lucius literally doesn’t do poo poo except maybe not kill as many people as he could have at the Battle of Hogwarts because he was trying to fine Draco. He doesn’t do another single redeeming thing and I’m pretty sure he even offers to go back into the castle to kill kids while getting Draco out within Harry’s earshot. He should def be in prison for life.
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Apr 10, 2022 21:45
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Voldemoron
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Apr 10, 2022 21:48
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just to be clear jason isaacs can get off wherever he wants, that silver fox
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Apr 10, 2022 22:17
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Large handsome men as foppish bad guys is the one good thing Harry Potter gave us, it is true
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Apr 10, 2022 22:41
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The FIRST time he escaped justice for being a Wizard Nazi he could write off as just being a poor mind-controlled puppet oh woe is me, now lemme just cast a Bribus inpocketus spell here real quick. The second time? THAT time I can understand him turning in state's evidence. Voldemort was operating out of his house, dude saw literally everyone coming and going, he has a list a mile long of collaborators both Dark Marked and not that he might not have had as more a silent partner/financial backer back the first time
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Apr 10, 2022 22:45
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Jason Isaacs was good in Death of Stalin as Decorated Nazi Puncher. He was also good in Chamber of Secrets as Guy Who Apparently Tries To Murder A Child In A School Hallway For Outsmarting Him. I think he improvised that line and didn't know it was the killing curse? Which is great. Shwoo fucked around with this message at 23:13 on Apr 10, 2022 |
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Apr 10, 2022 23:07
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Shwoo posted:He was also good in Chamber of Secrets as Guy Who Apparently Tries To Murder A Child In A School Hallway For Outsmarting Him. I think he improvised that line and didn't know it was the killing curse? Which is great. Yeah they told him to just say a spell so Isaacs went straight for the killing curse, lol.
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Apr 10, 2022 23:17
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people gotta stop trying to use a gadda da vida on Harry Potter. Also imperio. Cruciatus works. We know it works. So do a host of other spells that Draco and Snape use. Use them.
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Apr 11, 2022 00:33
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Podcast chat: omfg the most recent Shriekcast episode is making me cry. I hope they just pivot to being a dual-perspective Twilight/Midnight Sun reread podcast. e: holy poo poo the Edward perspective on Jasper and Alice, where he's mentally conversing with Alice as Jasper slobbers wishing he could do murders, and they totally forget to mention Jasper is a loving rezzed confederate soldier. Why is 2000s YA so insane and why do I enjoy talking about it so much. Edgar Allen Ho fucked around with this message at 00:45 on Apr 11, 2022 |
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Apr 11, 2022 00:35
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Lottery of Babylon posted:A few people have mentioned this detail, but it's not actually true. Karkaroff turned state's evidence after the first war, but Lucius didn't; he just falsely claimed he was under the Imperius and bribed a bunch of people to acquit him. Huh. Did the movies maybe have the plot point about Lucius going state's evidence? Or is this legitimately something like 'beam me up Scotty' where it just is completely the imagination of the audience and somehow became widely accepted as a canon thing.
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Apr 11, 2022 00:45
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Cranappleberry posted:people gotta stop trying to use a gadda da vida on Harry Potter. Also imperio. Cruciatus works. We know it works. So do a host of other spells that Draco and Snape use. Use them. You know what else wizards should try? Throwing a cast iron pan straight at Harry's head like Petunia did back at the start of CoS. Edgar Allen Ho posted:Podcast chat: omfg the most recent Shriekcast episode is making me cry. I hope they just pivot to being a dual-perspective Twilight/Midnight Sun reread podcast. I fell off on following the Twilight readthrough thread here, but the main thing I got from it was how the only good Cullens were Rose (doesn't put up with Bella's bullshit; killed her rapists) and Emmett (friendly dude who just wants to wrestle bears). Vampire Dad was Dumbledore-ish in how it wants you to think he's the bestest dude ever, the mom doesn't have a personality, Jasper's a confederate soldier who became a personal assassin for his previous coven, Alice is a control freak from reading peoples' futures and uses gifting lavish gifts at Bella to play at being human, and Edward is Edward. RoboChrist 9000 posted:Huh. Did the movies maybe have the plot point about Lucius going state's evidence? Or is this legitimately something like 'beam me up Scotty' where it just is completely the imagination of the audience and somehow became widely accepted as a canon thing. I think either Ron mentions the Malfoy family getting off scot-free during the train ride in PS, or maybe Arthur mentions it after the bookstore fight in CoS?
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Apr 11, 2022 04:25
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Asterite34 posted:The second time? THAT time I can understand him turning in state's evidence. Voldemort was operating out of his house, dude saw literally everyone coming and going, he has a list a mile long of collaborators both Dark Marked and not that he might not have had as more a silent partner/financial backer back the first time
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Apr 11, 2022 07:29
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Given how small the wizarding world is Lucius was probably on his own jury
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Apr 11, 2022 08:22
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As I recall Voldemort dismissed Lucius’s request to head into Hogwarts to gently caress poo poo up as a blatant attempt to try and find Draco and bring him to safety. Harry overheard the conversation with the connection thingy he had with Voldemort so I guess he would speak in his favour in that regard (rich people help each other and all that).
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Apr 11, 2022 11:31
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amigolupus posted:You know what else wizards should try? Throwing a cast iron pan straight at Harry's head like Petunia did back at the start of CoS. "why do you keep throwing snakes at him? He knows how to talk to snakes!" "I bought a whole barrel! What else am I supposed to do with them?" They could clone Aunt Marge's dog, Ripper, and chase him down with an army of ornery little dogs. That'd work.
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Apr 11, 2022 11:33
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jesus christ how long is this Shrieking Cast thing?
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Apr 11, 2022 11:58
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You have to register hardback Order of the Phoenix as a deadly weapon in 32 states, you try reading that poo poo briefly
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Apr 11, 2022 12:20
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YaketySass posted:jesus christ how long is this Shrieking Cast thing? Hundreds of hours, lol. Well worth listening to, though, IMHO (although to be fair I discovered it during the pandemic and it helped me get through that and a major family tragedy). That said the episodes do get up to 3+ hours near the end, which is daunting - I suggest skipping the extra segment at the end and the news at the beginning if you just want the book analysis, which will cut it by at least a third in most cases.
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Apr 11, 2022 15:20
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I got stuck because I got to the gringotts chapter of book 7 and just couldn't follow along with the podcast anymore. I'm that far behind.
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