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Wingnut Ninja posted:Like a 50 foot tall Jude Law rampaging around in Fantastic Beasts? "Bigger Luke" is an actual thing in Star Wars fanon because Mark Hamill looked taller in one shot compared to another.
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May 5, 2023 13:19
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| # ? Jan 18, 2026 08:32 |
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About 80% of what I post is just insane made-up worldbuilding jokes. I won't tell you which 80%
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May 5, 2023 13:26
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SirPhoebos posted:"Bigger Luke" is an actual thing in Star Wars fanon because Mark Hamill looked taller in one shot compared to another. LOL, of course that would be a thing. It probably has something to do with midichlorians. Asterite34 posted:About 80% of what I post is just insane made-up worldbuilding jokes. I won't tell you which 80% That's what I'm talking about. Thank you for your service. 
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May 5, 2023 13:31
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its all real, its all happening. LIVE
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May 5, 2023 14:52
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The main thing you should know is that Draco Malfoy loves his son and he most definitely absolutely 100% wasn’t cucked by the Dark Lord
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May 5, 2023 15:20
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SirPhoebos posted:"Bigger Luke" is an actual thing in Star Wars fanon because Mark Hamill looked taller in one shot compared to another. Wait. I thought it was a joke about that one line Leia had about him looking shirt for a stormtrooper.
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May 6, 2023 04:38
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Samovar posted:Wait. My friend: 
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May 6, 2023 04:45
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amigolupus posted:Maybe I'm misremembering, but wasn't the reveal not just that she's a woman, but that she's specifically an Indonesian woman? Because her being forced to become a pet for a British man feels kinda... insensitive. it being hosed up is fine, but it's an absolutely wild thing to recontextualise the story with when nagini's purpose in the books is 'we killed the better big evil snake because there wasn't a way to resolve that plotline otherwise so now we need a second big evil snake'. we didn't need to know where the second big evil snake came from. the bad guy can just have a second big evil snake. harry potter's approach to race is kind of decent if you squint (every character in the series has a terrible name, there's no reason to pick on cho chang in particular), so having the evil british wizard-racist enslave and generally be weird about a SEA woman-snake fits, but it ends up feeding into the series' completely tepid approach to resolving any of these ideas (the cool guy cuts off her head with a magic sword! everything is fine now!), as well as the bizarre fixation on retroactively making the series more diverse with no interest in interrogating that. rowling insisting that hermione can be interpreted as black is by far the funniest of this - you really want the character held up as an anti-slavery strawman to be black?? - but i also have a bone to pick with the fandom for insisting that the minor indian characters must have a lot to say about indian magical culture, as opposed to being british kids like everyone else, who happen to be indian. parvati and her friends are all normal british girls. that's the point. the wizarding world is the ideal liberal multicultural society under attack by inexplicable fascists. ungulateman fucked around with this message at 04:56 on May 6, 2023 |
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May 6, 2023 04:54
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Samovar posted:Wait. http://biggerluke.wikidot.com/bigger-luke
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May 6, 2023 05:14
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JethroMcB posted:My friend: There's an entire wiki about this theory: http://biggerluke.wikidot.com/bigger-luke which, hopefully, is a fairly obvious if rather large parody of the sorts of conspiracy theories fandoms come up with. E: Ffff, beaten so hard
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May 6, 2023 05:14
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Somehow, Dumbledore returned.
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May 6, 2023 05:20
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bobjr posted:Somehow, Dumbledore returned. But unlike Palpatine, he never scored.
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May 6, 2023 05:56
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ungulateman posted:it being hosed up is fine, but it's an absolutely wild thing to recontextualise the story with when nagini's purpose in the books is 'we killed the better big evil snake because there wasn't a way to resolve that plotline otherwise so now we need a second big evil snake'. we didn't need to know where the second big evil snake came from. the bad guy can just have a second big evil snake. You do need to pick on cho chang, actually, cause her name is 1) entirely based on her race 2) just a few letters swapped from a racist jingle and that is definitely how Rowling thought of it If Seamus Finnegan was instead called Finnegan O'Potatoes, people would criticise that more than the other terrible names too
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May 6, 2023 07:41
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Black Hermione aside all of the main and even secondary characters are white. Cho's the only one who comes close to having a relevant thing to do in the narrative (very brief love interest), everyone else's an extra.
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May 6, 2023 08:21
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YaketySass posted:Black Hermione aside all of the main and even secondary characters are white. Cho's the only one who comes close to having a relevant thing to do in the narrative (very brief love interest), everyone else's an extra.
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May 6, 2023 08:30
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she named her most prominent black character 'shacklebolt' lol
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May 6, 2023 08:56
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KINGsley shacklebolt hi harry, I'm famous black wizard Martin Slavery
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May 6, 2023 09:56
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hey now she also has indian sisters named patil who do essentially nothing in the story and uhhhhh thats it
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May 6, 2023 10:18
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Good thing she never included a Jewish student, they'd probably have "gold" in their name or something.
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May 6, 2023 11:16
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Wingnut Ninja posted:Good thing she never included a Jewish student, they'd probably have "gold" in their name or something. I dunno if  but....https://twitter.com/isaiah_bb/status/1477700531812454411
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May 6, 2023 11:34
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There are three wizarding jews now. One even agreed that the Holocaust was bad, but luckily Dumbledore set her straight
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May 6, 2023 11:48
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Renfield posted:I dunno if  Of... of course there is. I would make a joke about the one from Fantastic Beasts being called "Menorah Zionprotocols" but now I'm terrified that might actually be it.
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May 6, 2023 11:59
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:There are three wizarding jews now. One even agreed that the Holocaust was bad, but luckily Dumbledore set her straight
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May 6, 2023 12:16
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Wingnut Ninja posted:
no she's also called goldstein
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May 6, 2023 12:25
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(no relation)
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May 6, 2023 12:36
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Wingnut Ninja posted:
lol i thought you were doing a bit, that's hilarious that this is how you found that out
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May 6, 2023 12:38
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Vernon Dursley has a man crush on Kingsly, you heard it here first
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May 6, 2023 13:26
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Wingnut Ninja posted:
Wait till you hear about the villain in Hogwarts Legacy.
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May 6, 2023 13:26
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Mx. posted:lol i thought you were doing a bit, that's hilarious that this is how you found that out I was just trying to think "what would be the Jewish equivalent of calling the black guy 'Shacklebolt' "
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May 6, 2023 13:37
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josh04 posted:(no relation) https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/632611629843263488?s=20
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May 6, 2023 14:37
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I reread the series a couple of years ago (wanted some pandemic comfort food, give me a break) and actually burst out laughing at this bit. The Death Eaters are running around hunting anyone of insufficiently pure blood, when who should the trio encounter but the one Black Gryffindor student:
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May 6, 2023 15:43
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Hecuba posted:I reread the series a couple of years ago (wanted some pandemic comfort food, give me a break) and actually burst out laughing at this bit. The Death Eaters are running around hunting anyone of insufficiently pure blood, when who should the trio encounter but the one Black Gryffindor student: lol Yeah, I remember bringing up that part about Dean too. She really can't help but use as much racist tropes as possible.
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May 6, 2023 18:17
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No, you see, according to supplemental material that's not in the books, Dean's dad didn't leave, he was a wizard who "got himself killed by Death Eaters", so actually it's Not Racist.  And then nobody ever bothered to tell Dean about this through his entire adolescence. At least they told Harry what really happened to his parents as soon as they got around to letting him know about his superpowers.
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May 7, 2023 00:52
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So does that mean his dad never told his mom that he was a wizard at any time in their relationship? Granted that's probably not an easy thing to announce, even considering most wizards treat muggles like a zoo animals.
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May 7, 2023 03:25
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Is that better or worse than Seamus' mom only telling her husband she was a witch after they got married? Granted, this was mentioned in book 1 which was still supposed to be whimsical. Just yet another thing that aged poorly as the series went more grim and mature lol.
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May 7, 2023 04:12
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bobjr posted:So does that mean his dad never told his mom that he was a wizard at any time in their relationship? it is illegal to tell your partner you are a wizard until you marry them
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May 7, 2023 04:55
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You have like three sorts of tiers or categories of hosed up poo poo in Harry Potter, IMO. Tier One: poo poo that was never acceptable even in the 90s and it's loving insane how people overlook/ed it. Goblins being a prime example, or "being born of rape makes you incapable of feeling love" and all the other general racism. Tier Two: Stuff that was innocuous or maybe a bit sketch at first glance, but which has taken on a vastly more sinister tone since Rowling has gone mask off. Rita Skeeter's mannishness comes to mind. Tier Three: Stuff that was fine or 'fine' in a whimsical Dahl-esque romp, but becomes something else when you turn the book into a ~serious~ political thriller, as she did. The Dursleys treatment of Harry comes to mind.
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May 7, 2023 05:33
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I think Dumbledore should've stayed as the genteel eye-twinkling headmaster through the entire series. That wouldn't have even changed much about his actions, because his decision-making is questionable even when he's in shrewd spymaster mode.bobjr posted:So does that mean his dad never told his mom that he was a wizard at any time in their relationship?
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May 7, 2023 07:08
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RoboChrist 9000 posted:Tier Three: Stuff that was fine or 'fine' in a whimsical Dahl-esque romp, but becomes something else when you turn the book into a ~serious~ political thriller, as she did. The Dursleys treatment of Harry comes to mind.
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May 7, 2023 11:20
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pumpinglemma posted:IIRC Neville’s first accidental magic happened when his uncle was dangling him out of a high window trying to scare him into triggering it and then accidentally let go (he bounced). That was the last in a long line of incidents of them trying to scare him into doing magic, because they were worried he might be a squib who was incapable of doing any magic at all. So… if he had been a squib they’d have spent his entire childhood torturing him followed by killing him. The Longbottoms are one of the designated Good Guy wizarding families, and this is never treated as anything more than an amusing family anecdote. Yep! Lots of poo poo like that. I mean look, if he was a squib then he'd be dead, and the only good untermensch is a dead untermensch.
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May 7, 2023 11:29
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