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Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017


Quoth James Cameron,

"Nevermore"



SlothfulCobra posted:

He fails when he gets to Canada.



Fun fact to demonstrate how big a get Harry Potter World was for Universal Studios: the Universal Studios copy of Disney's Splash Mountain is a fuckin Dudley Doright-themed log flume. Do kids in 2021 even know who the gently caress he is?

They've got Potter, Marvel, Jurassic Park, and then a very sad county fair.

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Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised




I remember Universal Studios Theme Park Adventure being a hilariously poorly reviewed game, though apparently the movie trivia quiz is alright. And it also has Woody Woodpecker.

Caidin
Oct 28, 2011


It's been like 7 or 8 years since I went to Universal studios, I think around the time potter land opened? I remember having butterbeer and being pissed off that the dueling dragons roller coaster was like 10 times harder to get on then it had ever been. Pretty sure I still have a Viktor Krum replica wand around here somewhere...

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


Cranappleberry posted:

Part 54 in the (unexpectedly) wildly popular series on Vernon Dursley, Uncle of Harry "I Smell A Rat" Potter: Drills.

For a general overview we go to The Daily Prophet's Outside Muggle Expert, Arthur Weasley:

"Drills. Wow. I mean they're just great. Fascinating stuff, really!" exclaims Arthur, 60 president of the Muggle-Wizard Alliance and Head of The Ministry's Muggle-Relations office. "See what they do is amazing. They are part of the Muggle mating ritual." He says while nodding excitedly and animatedly moving his hands.

"They take these drills, right, which are basically like icecream cones made of metal that spin really fast and are incredibly destructive." He says twirling his wand dangerously. "Then what they do is attach them to the arms of giant suits of armor which are powered entirely by eccentricity somehow." He is standing on his desk now. "These suits then fight each other and this simulates the act of love-making and really gets their Muggle juices flowing." He is now pretending to be two "suits of armor" battling. He punches himself in the chest. "I learned about this from an awesome muggle documentary called Lucky Star." Finally he makes an explosion noise with his mouth and jumps off the desk into a pile of folders. He emerges laughing maniacally.

Arthur Weasley refuses to reveal how he came into possession of such... enlightening materials. However, this sheds light on notable muggle, Vernon Dursley and his chosen career...

Now this is my kinda post

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004





Ror
Oct 21, 2010

Everything's purrfect!



We regret to inform you that it is Pius Thicknesse.



We have some unfortunate news. It is Pius Thicknesse, and we apologize.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017


Quoth James Cameron,

"Nevermore"



He looks like a Dragon Age Origins NPC

Ashsaber
Oct 24, 2010

Deploying Swordbreakers!

College Slice


Harry Potter and the absolutely nothing happens is why I never actually got around to reading curse of the sidequests

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


Ashsaber posted:

Harry Potter and the absolutely nothing happens is why I never actually got around to reading curse of the sidequests

I don't blame you. The main character spends most of the book stalking someone while his friends are like "dude maybe you are taking this a little too far..." and the rest in boring characterization/exposition lessons and detention.

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


it's one of the reasons you know Harry is gonna be a hosed up adult. The head guy he trusts implicitly is like "hey I got this covered, okay. I'm not saying you shouldn't be worried about it but let it go." and Harry's response is to never let it go, attack him (and the dude he has a reputation for hating, Snape) over it repeatedly and it's because god forbid he isn't in the thick of the action, solving all problems, at all times.

Tbf, Dumbledore is intentionally vague about why he trusts Snape and has this covered but one of the reasons for that is that Harry will end up screaming like a crazy person in front of the whole school that Draco is a death eater and start some kind of lynch mob.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Cranappleberry posted:

it's one of the reasons you know Harry is gonna be a hosed up adult. The head guy he trusts implicitly is like "hey I got this covered, okay. I'm not saying you shouldn't be worried about it but let it go." and Harry's response is to never let it go, attack him (and the dude he has a reputation for hating, Snape), over it repeatedly and never let it go because god forbid he isn't in the thick of the action, solving all problems, at all times.

Tbf, Dumbledore is intentionally vague about why he trusts Snape and has this covered but one of the reasons for that is that Harry will end up screaming like a crazy person in front of the whole school that Draco is a death eater and start some kind of lynch mob.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore's plan was to allow a werewolf who loves to position himself near the families of people he doesn't like prior to transforming into the school.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





Draco's shenanigans in HBP sound like a way more interesting story than anything Harry does. Finding ways to covertly contact the Death Eaters, trying to fix the vanishing cabinet, all of his schemes to sneak cursed and poisoned items into Hogwarts, etc. All while under the gun to perform an impossible task on penalty of displeasing Voldemort and risking his and his family's lives. It's the moment where Draco has to walk the walk of being a nazi - not just spout the rhetoric - and when the impossible happens and he actually has Dumbledore at his mercy he realizes he can't pull trigger. It's a legit compelling little story but we see none of it beyond the final confrontation and Dumbledore listing off all the things Draco did offscreen.

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


reignofevil posted:

Meanwhile, Dumbledore's plan was to allow a werewolf who loves to position himself near the families of people he doesn't like prior to transforming into the school.

Draco didn't want him there and Dumbledore never actually expected Draco to succeed and was a bit chuffed and proud when he did.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


That's what you call negligence!

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


Chamber of Secrets and Half-Blood Prince clearly suffer from the fact that the whole story is presented from Harry's perspective (barring the occasional opening chapter)

Zore
Sep 21, 2010




Honestly, its more than a little bullshit they play as many games as they do with Harry because he is entirely right about Draco who almost kills at least 4 people with his little games over the course of the year.

Like if Wizarding society was sane Dumbledore would be going to jail for life over the fact he knew about that poo poo and just let Malfoy keep almost killing other students. I really can't blame Harry for being suspicious of someone who is actually doing all that poo poo.


Like Harry's best friend almost convulsed to death in front of his eyes. Dumbledore knew about it and just uh let it go despite Ron only being saved because Harry remembered Snape being an rear end in a top hat in year 1

Zore fucked around with this message at 19:41 on May 5, 2021

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


Yea I am in no way defending Dumbledore, again, he didn't expect it to go as far is it did. Foreshadowing that his mistakes had consequently greater harm but he definitely did not expect success nor Greyback even if there was.

Negligence and planning ahead are a stupid fine line in this case. Harry ended up having mercy for Draco, but if Draco had been exposed earlier it would have been timely assassination before he could testify to anything. Dumbledore was erring on the side of protecting his student.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


There were killing curses being thrown around the school because of Dumbledore's decisions. You can't point to the concept of keeping a student safe as justification for endangering every single student there. Especially the muggleborns who would have died ugly if some other things Dumbledore had never anticipated for had happened that evening and the death eaters took the school.

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


he was a fool for thinking that a student couldn't have outsmarted him. He was not a fool for trying to protect that student from definite harm.

So I agree but also disagree.

Also you are ascribing knowledge to Dumbledore that he didn't have (but might have had) but Snape was locked out of Draco's mission.

Cranappleberry fucked around with this message at 20:06 on May 5, 2021

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



reignofevil posted:

There were killing curses being thrown around the school because of Dumbledore's decisions. You can't point to the concept of keeping a student safe as justification for endangering every single student there. Especially the muggleborns who would have died ugly if some other things Dumbledore had never anticipated for had happened that evening and the death eaters took the school.

yes but have you considered that draco is a rich failson who cannot be blamed for his mistakes

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


Jazerus posted:

yes but have you considered that draco is a rich failson who cannot be blamed for his mistakes

Dumbledore didn't care about such things. If he lived his ideal life him and Grindelwald would be married and publishing/bickering over articles in Transfiguration Today.

This was legitimately caring about someone under his personal protection. Someone he truly believed he could save, with Snape's help. Both he and Snape failed.

Zore
Sep 21, 2010




Cranappleberry posted:

Yea I am in no way defending Dumbledore, again, he didn't expect it to go as far is it did. Foreshadowing that his mistakes had consequently greater harm but he definitely did not expect success nor Greyback even if there was.

Negligence and planning ahead are a stupid fine line in this case. Harry ended up having mercy for Draco, but if Draco had been exposed earlier it would have been timely assassination before he could testify to anything. Dumbledore was erring on the side of protecting his student.

Right but in the course of protecting his student he let at least 3 other students almost die.

You'd think after Angelina got knocked into a coma by a cursed necklace or Ron almost died in front of another student and a professor that Dumbledore might actually think to bother tracking what the gently caress Malfoy was doing because its presented as pure luck that he didn't leave a trail of bodies.

Like for as much as Dumbledore's 'protecting' Malfoy he seems entirely content to let him keep almost murdering other students and doesn't even figure out how he's doing so (or really investigate) until Draco confronts him in the Astronomy tower.

Zore fucked around with this message at 20:24 on May 5, 2021

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


It was Katie Bell. Angelina graduated a year earlier.

What is lacking is information vs evidence. Dumbledore had information that Draco was a death eater that was sent to kill him but he lacked evidence. If he got evidence he would be condemning Draco and his family and potentially others to death. If he acted on information, without being able to convince Draco et al then same.

Snape was tasked with getting more information and potentially evidence while preventing Draco from doing harm but he was kept out by Draco's uncanny cleverness AND occlumency that Harry never mastered. He failed. In fact, Draco was warned ahead of time by Bellatrix to keep Snape as well as HP and Dumbledore out of it.

Snape was also limited by his role as a spy. Dumbledore was limited by so many things, including evidence.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Yeah go easy on dumbledore he's not some kinda magic man.

Sydin
Oct 29, 2011

Another rainy day commute





I do like how Draco - pissy richboy Draco - was able to master anti-mindreading magic but Harry just absolutely could not be assed even after he was well aware Voldy was tooling around in his mind.

Zore
Sep 21, 2010




Cranappleberry posted:

It was Katie Bell. Angelina graduated a year earlier.

What is lacking is information vs evidence. Dumbledore had information that Draco was a death eater that was sent to kill him but he lacked evidence. If he got evidence he would be condemning Draco and his family and potentially others to death. If he acted on information, without being able to convince Draco et al then same.

Snape was tasked with getting more information and potentially evidence while preventing Draco from doing harm but he was kept out by Draco's uncanny cleverness AND occlumency that Harry never mastered. He failed. In fact, Draco was warned ahead of time by Bellatrix to keep Snape as well as HP and Dumbledore out of it.

Snape was also limited by his role as a spy. Dumbledore was limited by so many things, including evidence.

I agree but they could have, you know, looked for evidence at some point instead of just having Snape ask and then sitting around with their thumbs up their rear end when Draco told him to piss off.

Guy A. Person
May 23, 2003



Dumbledore's plan relies super, super heavily on Snape being his spy basically until the end so that he can gather info about Voldemort but also feed Voldy very specific info he wants him to have and possibly most importantly for Snape being the obvious choice for headmaster after Dumbledore dies and Voldy effectively takes over the government and school to prevent the bulk of child death and continue to communicate with Dumbledore's painting to coordinate plans from beyond the grave and give Harry the help he needs and probably an eventual back door into the school.

Some of this obviously goes awry and there's backup plans/lucky breaks/other allies to help for a lot of poo poo. Like it's total luck that Harry is able to get some very key info from Snape's memories at the exact moment Snape dies (it's kind of hilarious how desperately Snape keeps telling people during the Battle of Hogwarts "look please Minerva/Voldemort/whoever it's just real, real important that I talk to Harry Potter please for the love of god"), and obviously Harry is able to get into Hogwarts and do a bunch of poo poo with the help of the DA, the teachers, Aberforth and the Order while Snape has to flee because it looks like he's trying to kill his fellow teachers again. But it's obvious a ton of the big set pieces revolve around Hogwarts -- Dumbledore's painting, a hidden horcrux, multiple ways to destroy horcruxes -- and Snape is the obvious person to be appointed by Voldemort and manage all this poo poo, in addition to being the one who needs to convey some key poo poo to Harry around him being the last horcrux (and maybe confirmation about Nagini being a horcrux? I forget)

My take is confronting Draco while Snape just kind of stands idly by is way too much of a tipped hand to Voldemort, which is probably why he lets this poo poo happen. Not just to protect Draco but to keep up the entire facade that Snape is a super useful spy for Voldemort and that Dumbledore is not as fully on top of poo poo as he actually is.

Asgerd
May 6, 2012






Grimey Drawer

Sydin posted:

I do like how Draco - pissy richboy Draco - was able to master anti-mindreading magic but Harry just absolutely could not be assed even after he was well aware Voldy was tooling around in his mind.

To be fair, Draco probably wasn't stuck with the worst learning environment imaginable by having his single most hated person on earth rooting around his most embarassing memories and openly mocking/insulting him, all while being screamed at to keep a cool head and refrain from any emotions.

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


Guy A. Person posted:

...
My take is confronting Draco while Snape just kind of stands idly by is way too much of a tipped hand to Voldemort, which is probably why he lets this poo poo happen. Not just to protect Draco but to keep up the entire facade that Snape is a super useful spy for Voldemort and that Dumbledore is not as fully on top of poo poo as he actually is.

I would have put it more succinctly, but this. JKR wrote bad in so many ways but in this, very smol way, she seemed successful. This is only within the context of the story. Not Beyond - Al Pacino in The Devil's Advocate (if maybe you finally understand how I'm posting. Holy Moly on a Roly.)

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


I am up here just screaming at Keanu Reeves. You fools. You jackasses.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Well there's your problem! You need a dedicated scream at Keanu Reeves thread!

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Cranappleberry posted:

I am up here just screaming at Keanu Reeves. You fools. You jackasses.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzYulkD13D0

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.



Hell Yeah.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 24 hours!


Dumbledore is a time traveler. It's fine.

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


I am real posting about Harry Potter.

Edgar Allen Ho
Apr 3, 2017


Quoth James Cameron,

"Nevermore"



Cranappleberry posted:

I am real posting about Harry Potter.

Me too pal, me too

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 24 hours!


Harry Potter is real. Excuse me while I reality shift over.

Cranappleberry
Jan 27, 2009


yea I was trying to poke fun at myself but I realized I might have come off kind of aggro. I didn't mean to shut anyone down or anything.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


We love you cranappleberry. We love you and we love wizards so much.

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Ccs
Feb 25, 2011




I started writing my new wizard story. Maybe Iíll start posting it here.

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